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You Can't Do That On RAW! - 3/15/2021


Dolfan in NYC

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Hurt Business dropping the tag titles wasn't a good move, especially not on Raw, but the match was solid. Styles and Omos coming out to challenge for WM and getting the match was also out of left field.

Sheamus/Lashley and Ali/Riddle were both good matches, as was Asuka/Shayna though that could have been longer.

The less said about the Brock/Shane segment the better.

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Miz/Drew was fine.

Mandy/Dana vs. Naomi/Lana was pretty decent up until the Asuka segment interfered a bit.

Hurt Business vs. New Day was good, and I'm actually looking forward to AJ/Omos vs. New Day. That said, I kind of pissed HB dropped the tag belts. Cedric & Shelton deserved a mania match after the work they did in HB this year.

Asuka/Shayna was good stuff as a match and segment. Its easily the best and most dangerous Asuka has looked in years.

Lashley/Sheamus felt a pinch long but was good. Felt liek it belonged in the Clubbering Threat with how the first half went.

So the lack of Charlotte & Rhea was odd. Rhea was supposed to debut this week. I assume she sadly suffered due to the recent NXT outbreak.

Edited by Eivion
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I've seen people slimed on Nickelodeon shows for decades now and they never took it as this horrible affront worthy of homicidal rage.

 

...Now that I think about it that would've made their shows much more interesting so perhaps WWE has it right on this one.

 

BTW Asuka comes back and the first blow Shayna lands on her is a knee that appears to catch her directly on the jaw.

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I skipped this episode of RAW. Looked on twitter and during the show and saw the Braun thing. Yeah, the big guy is done for. The sad thing is this will lead to a match with Shane at Wrestlemania where Braun should win in five seconds. But he'll end up having to chase Shane all over the stadium before Shane takes a dive off the pirate ship.

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What IS this Shane/Braun feud? Granted, I haven't watched Raw very closely because... well, yuck, but why the fuck are these people fighting each other? And why was there a bucket of green shit under the ring? This is so bad. 

TWO buckets? Also, is Shane five years old? ERMAGERD I'MMA SLIME YOU AND YOU GON' BE MAAAAAAD

I'm starting to think WWE is unwatchable (besides any Reigns/Bryan stuff) until live crowds are back. Vince has gone truly insane without crowds to rebel against a shitty product. One kinda-sorta positive of this is that Alexa Bliss has been kept away from the Charlotte buzzsaw but it required some of the stupidest shit I've ever seen on a wrestling program and I saw the Katie Vick angle live. The HHHonk saved that, this seems bereft of any ability to be saved.

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Lord that New Day promo Natural posted is a chaotic mess. They desperately want to be heels again but starting that now when you are going face AJ and Omos at Mania is... something

And this is definitely on me since I don't watch anymore, but I didn't recognize Mandy Rose when she dropped in

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Vince had had weird ideas about how babyfaces are supposed to act for awhile now, but Braun still might be his least sympathetic "sympathetic babyface" in a good while.  Shane's definitely the heel in this feud, but I'm not sure why I'd want to cheer the adult whose response to a much smaller 50-year-old man making fun of him is..... near-homicidal rage.  Braun's character still seems to be a bully with anger management issues.   Not sure why I'm supposed to find that appealing.

Metlzer said the rationale behind the "stupid" insults is that Vince thinks Shane is too likable and fans won't boo him if they book him like a traditional heel.  ??? I mean, Shane's tv character is a lot of things.  I dunno that "too likable" is one of them.  

Of course, that begs the question of why the bully monster is the face and the smaller middle-aged guy is the babyface, but....

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Or we could like, not have Shane on TV at all. If they insist, have him as a completely neutral authority figure. Legit right-down-the-middle. Okay, I want there to be a Jack Tunney again, is that so wrong? Give me some figurehead who only appears when shit is serious and who NEVER WRESTLES.

2 hours ago, RIPPA said:

And this is definitely on me since I don't watch anymore, but I didn't recognize Mandy Rose when she dropped in

Probably the haircut. I never watch those extra YouTube videos of postmatch interviews or whatever, is it common for other wrestlers to pop in on them like that?

I think I can name three Fastlane matches without looking: Drew/Sheamus, Bryan/Roman, and Shane/Braun! I did it! Yes! Do I remember any others? No! The fuck is Lashley doing on the show? Maybe there's some Street Proffits match I'm not aware of? I'd probably be more aware of shit if I watched the show itself instead of YouTube highlights but I can't imagine anyone outside of someone who only just discovered wrestling being excited for Raw each week.

EDIT: That was pretty entertaining stuff from New Day, I guess they actually let people flex their personality in these videos I've been ignoring. "Does he know how to WORK (small pause) ...as a team?"

Edited by Sex Machine Gun
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I know Sonya having to deal with the break in may have put a sudden halt on their program, but, when did they give up so hard on Mandy? Do they just see her as Dana #2 now? How does that happen, she seems so much their type, and yet Lana is still harder pushed, and that's WITH Miro in AEW, so odd. 

Mandy playing a video of her and Sonya made me miss them together ? 

Braun needs to call Nicholas for tips on dealing with bullies who call people "stupid" and use slime as their main weapon. 

I'd be all for Charlotte ruining Alexa if it meant Ric visits the Funhouse and starts chopping and dropping elbows on puppets while making out with Abby the Witch

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1 hour ago, Niners Fan in CT said:

Shane is at WM because once upon a time he and The Undertaker sold some tickets.   That was many years ago now but here we are.. 

It's pretty obvious WWE didn't do any introspective analysis of *why* that sold tickets. Shane had been gone for a decade. Him vs Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell was a fresh match out of nowhere that had the added oh shit light bulb of wait Shane always did stunt bumps, bet he does a crazy cell bump. Had Shane been active in WWE for the prior decade it wouldn't have sold tickets like that.

Also has anyone had a more uneven Wrestlemania run than Braun?

WM32 -In Erick Rowan's corner vs The Rock.
WM33 -Wins Andre Battle Royal on Pre Show.
WM34 -Wins Raw Tag Belts with a child vs Sheamus & Cesaro.
WM35 -Lost Andre Battle Royal on Pre Show.
WM36 -Wins Universal Title as a throw away replacement vs Goldberg.
WM37 -Probably some weird gimmick match vs Shane McMahon.

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3 hours ago, ErinQuinn said:

I know Sonya having to deal with the break in may have put a sudden halt on their program, but, when did they give up so hard on Mandy? Do they just see her as Dana #2 now? How does that happen, she seems so much their type, and yet Lana is still harder pushed, and that's WITH Miro in AEW, so odd. 

Meltzer seems to think Mandy's kinda given up and is just mailing it in.  Her name has come up a couple times with him lately, and he says thing like "Oh, she's just there.  She doesn't like way they're using her, doesn't believe it her character, but she's figured out the company isn't going to give her anything better, so....."  Dave really hated that segment with Mandy, Dana, and Charlotte last week, and slagged both Mandy and Dana for their acting

No idea if Dave's right, but, yeah, she didn't have a great spot on the card when Sonya was around, and she really seems to be floundering since.

 

3 hours ago, ErinQuinn said:

I'd be all for Charlotte ruining Alexa if it meant Ric visits the Funhouse and starts chopping and dropping elbows on puppets while making out with Abby the Witch

Now I'm wondering if puppets are entitled to alimony.

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I really, really doubt that Shane/Taker at WM32 sold a single goddamn ticket. Who the fuck wanted to see that, even at the time?

Frankly, for two decades plus it's ignorant to think any single match on a Mania card is what sold tickets. You're there because it's Wrestlemania. I don't know how far out tickets have gone on sale for it year-to-year but I'd happily wager that it was a sold out event or at least very close to sold out a month in advance. That places the vast majority of builds and match settings after tickets were purchased. 

3 hours ago, ErinQuinn said:

I know Sonya having to deal with the break in may have put a sudden halt on their program, but, when did they give up so hard on Mandy? Do they just see her as Dana #2 now? How does that happen, she seems so much their type, and yet Lana is still harder pushed, and that's WITH Miro in AEW, so odd. 

Lana's taller.

Real response: I'm similarly baffled. Mandy can at least kind of work. Maybe Lana gets exposure as a spite thing? Both are "the type" that Vince/Dunn want, it's vexing because gotdamn do I love some Mandy Rose. A while back WWE posted a nice video on YouTube which had her with her family and back in her hometown, it was nice. I know we like to be high-minded and not comment on such things, but c'mon. Mandy Rose?

https://youtu.be/jzsCIENC9IQ

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5 minutes ago, Sex Machine Gun said:

I really, really doubt that Shane/Taker at WM32 sold a single goddamn ticket. Who the fuck wanted to see that, even at the time?

It's been documented. Tickets were moving pretty slow for Wrestlemania 32 in Dallas. They announced this match on Raw on March 22nd and saw a huge surge in ticket sales immediately following the announcement. We're talking 5 digit movement in the days after it was announced. Your overall Mania name sells the tickets POV is generally true. But WM32 was the year they were trying to break 100,000 and they weren't even close less than a month out. They announced this and it got them pretty close to the legit 100k they wanted.

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