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What's Going On?


Dolfan in NYC
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11 minutes ago, BrianS81177 said:

So life ain't great right now. My girlfriend and I met 13 years ago. 11 years ago she moved about 80 miles away but we maintained a LDR because we were in love. I'd tried to get a job where she was for years but never could because I would only ever be able to make it out there a few days out of the month, usually on a weekend so it was super hard to get interviews. Finally the time comes a couple months ago that I sell my mom's house after she passed away last year. With that money, I was finally able to afford to not be able to work for a little while. We had been talking for months about how once the house sold we could finally get married, and we were going to buy a plot of land and build a place on it, and we were gonna honeymoon at Universal Orlando, etc. I get out there with all my stuff and get it loaded into a storage shed on her property and like 3 days after I get out there she seems like she's avoiding me. Going to bed hours before I do, going in the bedroom talking on the phone, etc. Finally after a week of this (and her showing total indifference to a drawing of a custom designed engagement ring I was gonna buy for her), I confront her about something obviously being wrong.

She then tells me that she's been talking with some guy she works with because he is going through a divorce and she always has to be the shoulder for people to cry on. She tells me she has feelings for him and that they kissed. After that I give her space for a couple of days to think things over (she gets home from work at 6 and goes to bed around 830, so I would leave at like 545, go get some dinner then go see a movie and sleep on the couch). After a couple days of this she still seems to be avoiding talking to me. So I pack up a week's worth of clothes and tell her I'm gonna go stay at my sister's for a week. I had to tell her in a letter because she was avoiding me and talking on the phone all day.

Long story short a week winds up being almost a month. In that time we have 2 conversations that total maybe 25 minutes and I get a couple short text messages from her asking about my grandpa (who I found out was dying during this time). After our second conversation we agree to talk again the next weekend (1 week later). 7 days go by and she doesn't call. 8 days. 9 days. Finally on the 10th day I'm freaking out, I reach out to one of her friends and ask if she will tell her to please call me already. The friend agrees, and does just that. My girlfriend calls all mad at me for going behind her back to her friend, tells me that while she still loves me she also still has feelings for this guy and says I should come get my stuff. So tomorrow morning, my sister and brother in law are coming with me out there to get my stuff and I'm freaking out because I'm realizing that this is it. And I just don't understand how 2 months ago we were talking excitedly about getting married, etc and now the whole relationship is falling apart. I feel like my life is over. I'm 44 years old. I don't have a job and I'm currently living in a small room in my sister's basement. I feel like I'm too old to start all over and I can't believe the last 13 years of my life and everything I was dreaming of for years is gone, just that quickly. I honestly want to die. I'm not going to kill myself because I wouldn't do that to my sister but I have completely lost all will to live.

Hang in there, brother.

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I am about a year out of a relationship I was in for a little under ten years.  It won't be easy, B, but life will go on and things will be okay.   It might not go on the same way it did when you were in a relationship but rest assured, it will go on.

Take some time to do some of the things you wanted to do or go to some of the places you wanted to go, but maybe didn't because you were in a relationship and subsumed those things for the sake of your relationship.

I've spent a lot of time reconnecting with some of the friends I had that I lost contact with when I was with my old boo and it's been great to find out that my bros still support me even after dropping off of the face of the earth.

Right now, you need to be easy with yourself and as Dean said, hang in there.

Edited by J.T.
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Competed in my first Rubik's Cube competition in 21 months (yay COVID) this past weekend.  It was sooooooooo nice to be back competing and hanging out with my fellow cubers.  On a personal level, I did well, setting 8 personal bests in 6 different events, and got my first two official times under 20 seconds in the main 3x3 event.  And I got to be witness to the setting of a world record in 3x3 average* - the world record considered most prestigious by cubers.  I had to leave to avoid bad weather at around noon on the second day of the competition and the same guy broke 3 more world records after I left.  Four world records in one day - not bad!  It was a great weekend, made a bunch of new friends, saw a world record, and I can't wait to do it again.

* - you do 5 solves in a round.  Average is calculated by throwing out the best and worst solves and then taking the mean of the remaining three.  It's considered the most prestigious because it eliminates luck from the equation and is pretty much exclusively determined by skill.  The world record I saw was 5.47 seconds but it was lowered to 5.32 in the next round.  The "best" time thrown out was 4.54 seconds.  The world record for a single solve in an official competition is 3.47 seconds.  

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What's going on with me right now is I'm hearing the title of this thread sung over and over and over and over by my 4-year-old.  He's completely obsessed with 4 Non Blondes' "What's Up?"  

How does a 4-year-old get obsessed with that song?  Well, he's been super into He Man lately, so I showed him that funny video of Prince Adam singing the dance remix of that song.  Then, a couple weeks later, I'm just looking up random music videos on YouTube and show him the original.  Turns out, he loves it even more.  Now, non-stop singing.

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13 hours ago, D.Z said:

Youtube will publicly remove the dislikes counter, dislikes will only be seen by the owners of the video or videos. The dislike button will still exist.....for now.

Slow rollout.

So, in the near future we can do two things: Nothing and Like it? Is that what you are telling me?

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Neighbor six houses down shot and killed his wife Friday afternoon, then tried to kill himself.  Not a lot of info coming out, but he seems to be alive still.    It's an awful tragedy, but should've been a preventable one.  He's been suffering from dementia.  Never should've been a gun in the house.  Folks in that condition are just too unpredictable.  

Between this and the guy who decided to get in a gunfight with SWAT (who turned out to share some some patents with one of my professors from grad school) shits hitting a little close to home.

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It's a family community on the DVDVR MB. We have the good times and the shit times. I'm in a lot of pain with my legs. I've told you things more than very few away from here in regards to the extent of my mental health. If anybody needs someone to talk to or to listen, I'm there. Love, Paul xxx.

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3 hours ago, Robert C said:

Neighbor six houses down shot and killed his wife Friday afternoon, then tried to kill himself.  Not a lot of info coming out, but he seems to be alive still.    It's an awful tragedy, but should've been a preventable one.  He's been suffering from dementia.  Never should've been a gun in the house.  Folks in that condition are just too unpredictable.  

Between this and the guy who decided to get in a gunfight with SWAT (who turned out to share some some patents with one of my professors from grad school) shits hitting a little close to home.

Holy hell, that's horrible.  And scary as heck.  

The guy across the street from my mom, a former sharpshooter contest winner, is showing more than a couple signs of dementia.  He's got a big pile of guns in the house.  Definitely something I (and my mom) worry about.

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Went to the DMV today to get my license renewed and it took me almost three whole hours. My dad, who got his recently, told me to ignore the line and just walk inside; that is not the correct procedure, needless to say. I stood outside in freezing winds for about 45 minutes, slowly making my way up the line. Inside the guy taking my photo told me to keep moving my chin down. The photo has a full second chin and -- no joke -- it looks like a mugshot of Griselda Blanco 😄 They wouldn't even let me wear my glasses which is absurd considering I'm never NOT wearing them, at least when I'm conscious...

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On 11/18/2021 at 1:32 PM, Curt McGirt said:

 it took me almost three whole hours. 

Where do you live? Mayberry? In Vegas, it takes about an hour in line just to get a ticket to wait half a day to be called on. If you're going to the Social Security office to replace a card, bring a good book and a pillow.

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Last time I renewed my license I was in and out in 20 minutes or so. The time before that was about 10. Getting the stupid REAL ID version of it required annoying side shit, but at least I had all the proper documents. No one else in line did because they didn't read their mail close enough. No, they will not take a birth certificate from when you were born. Haw-haw. Go sit in the county building like an idiot like I had to. Living in Mayberry is fun. Very easy to commit crime once you confuse the current sheriff, Ron Howard.

Edited by Ryan
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To be fair to my local government, once you made that transition to Real ID, most things can be handled either by mail or, for  registration renewals,  a kiosk. It is the unprepared and the procrastinators  that get to waste their day away. But that is probably 90% of the population. No getting around the SS card deal though. 

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17 hours ago, Ryan said:

Last time I renewed my license I was in and out in 20 minutes or so. The time before that was about 10. Getting the stupid REAL ID version of it required annoying side shit, but at least I had all the proper documents. No one else in line did because they didn't read their mail close enough. No, they will not take a birth certificate from when you were born. Haw-haw. Go sit in the county building like an idiot like I had to. Living in Mayberry is fun. Very easy to commit crime once you confuse the current sheriff, Ron Howard.

I renewed a couple months ago and switched to REAL ID as part of it. I showed up 15 minutes early for my appointment and was completely done before my appointment time. Could not have been any easier or smoother. 

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Yeah, this is why I laughed at the people that didn't realize they needed a raised notarized copy of their BC because they didn't read the thing they were given and just brought in birth certificates from like the 50s thinking it was valid. Like 5 people in line behind me were all like that. I had all my paperwork filled out and in order and just zoomed right through.

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