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Dolfan in NYC

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7 minutes ago, Craig H said:

Hello presumably fellow midwesterner. I assume these were the same storms that passed through my area. Sorry for all the bullcrap you had to deal with because of the storms.

Yep! I’m in SW Ohio so most likely the same storms you got.

And thank you! Hoping to feel like my normal self by the weekend!

Edited by onelegbrynn
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1 hour ago, onelegbrynn said:

I had a really bad anxiety attack on Monday night when some really bad storms came through my area and wreaked havoc. A bunch of trees were knocked over and there were power outages everywhere. I felt really depressed yesterday and spent most of the morning in bed with no power. I ended up having to go to the local library which was open as a cooling center because of the heatwave. I started having social anxiety while I was there (because I was scared of people staring at me because I have one leg). I  hung out there as long as I could until I left. There was still no power when I got home but luckily it came back on about an hour later. Feeling better today but not totally at 100% yet.

My wife has EDS and wears pretty extensive leg braces when we go out and I am constantly shocked by how comfortable people feel commenting on or asking invasive questions of disabled people.

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4 hours ago, Zimbra said:

My wife has EDS and wears pretty extensive leg braces when we go out and I am constantly shocked by how comfortable people feel commenting on or asking invasive questions of disabled people.

Yep, I’ve been there and completely know the feeling. I hate it. I normally don’t wear a prosthetic leg either (but will on certain occasions … like this past weekend when I went to the Wrestling Revolver show) and typically always use crutches. So I always get a bit nervous in public unless its someplace that I’m familiar with.

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3 hours ago, onelegbrynn said:

I had a really bad anxiety attack on Monday night when some really bad storms came through my area and wreaked havoc. A bunch of trees were knocked over and there were power outages everywhere. I felt really depressed yesterday and spent most of the morning in bed with no power. I ended up having to go to the local library which was open as a cooling center because of the heatwave. I started having social anxiety while I was there (because I was scared of people staring at me because I have one leg). I  hung out there as long as I could until I left. There was still no power when I got home but luckily it came back on about an hour later. Feeling better today but not totally at 100% yet.

I'm sorry you had a rough night.  It cannot be easy worrying about people staring - or having them actually do it - and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.  Glad you're feeling better today.

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3 minutes ago, Tabe said:

I'm sorry you had a rough night.  It cannot be easy worrying about people staring - or having them actually do it - and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.  Glad you're feeling better today.

Thanks Tabe! I appreciate it. I am feeling better just not my usual self quite yet. Hoping a stuffed crust pizza, Dynamite and a good nights sleep tonight will lift my mood!

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3 minutes ago, onelegbrynn said:

Thanks Tabe! I appreciate it. I am feeling better just not my usual self quite yet. Hoping a stuffed crust pizza, Dynamite and a good nights sleep tonight will lift my mood!

The pizza should help.  I dunno about Dynamite though ?

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I just don't know anymore.

I consider myself a regular person, more or less. With flaws and shortcomings, a bit sensitive, but fundamentally a decent person with average intelligence should be able to handle themselves in most situations.

But I'm reaching a point where it all feels wrong. Everything I think or say is meaningless and I can't get out of my own thoughts, no matter how much I tell myself to go about my day. To do basic things that someone in my position can do. Things that I've done multiple times for years.

I look at this world falling apart with so many who have it worse than me. And I feel dumb for being non-functional when I know how to function.

Like I should be doing something right now instead of typing on a message board. But I can't bring myself to even try.

It's ridiculous and stupid and I shouldn't be like this. I'm better than this.

I don't blame anyone else for me being at this point. It's on me. But I can't definitively say what I did wrong. Or if I even did anything wrong at all.

I'm tired.

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3 minutes ago, Burgundy LaRue said:

I just don't know anymore.

I consider myself a regular person, more or less. With flaws and shortcomings, a bit sensitive, but fundamentally a decent person with average intelligence should be able to handle themselves in most situations.

But I'm reaching a point where it all feels wrong. Everything I think or say is meaningless and I can't get out of my own thoughts, no matter how much I tell myself to go about my day. To do basic things that someone in my position can do. Things that I've done multiple times for years.

I look at this world falling apart with so many who have it worse than me. And I feel dumb for being non-functional when I know how to function.

Like I should be doing something right now instead of typing on a message board. But I can't bring myself to even try.

It's ridiculous and stupid and I shouldn't be like this. I'm better than this.

I don't blame anyone else for me being at this point. It's on me. But I can't definitively say what I did wrong. Or if I even did anything wrong at all.

I'm tired.

Hey darling. We're here. We hear you. It's hard right now. So many things have gone wrong that had nothing to do with you, but you have to live with it, and that sucks. Typing here is better than not typing at all.

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36 minutes ago, Burgundy LaRue said:

I just don't know anymore.

I consider myself a regular person, more or less. With flaws and shortcomings, a bit sensitive, but fundamentally a decent person with average intelligence should be able to handle themselves in most situations.

But I'm reaching a point where it all feels wrong. Everything I think or say is meaningless and I can't get out of my own thoughts, no matter how much I tell myself to go about my day. To do basic things that someone in my position can do. Things that I've done multiple times for years.

I look at this world falling apart with so many who have it worse than me. And I feel dumb for being non-functional when I know how to function.

Like I should be doing something right now instead of typing on a message board. But I can't bring myself to even try.

It's ridiculous and stupid and I shouldn't be like this. I'm better than this.

I don't blame anyone else for me being at this point. It's on me. But I can't definitively say what I did wrong. Or if I even did anything wrong at all.

I'm tired.

Hang in there.  We're here for you.

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50 minutes ago, Burgundy LaRue said:

I just don't know anymore.

I consider myself a regular person, more or less. With flaws and shortcomings, a bit sensitive, but fundamentally a decent person with average intelligence should be able to handle themselves in most situations.

But I'm reaching a point where it all feels wrong. Everything I think or say is meaningless and I can't get out of my own thoughts, no matter how much I tell myself to go about my day. To do basic things that someone in my position can do. Things that I've done multiple times for years.

I look at this world falling apart with so many who have it worse than me. And I feel dumb for being non-functional when I know how to function.

Like I should be doing something right now instead of typing on a message board. But I can't bring myself to even try.

It's ridiculous and stupid and I shouldn't be like this. I'm better than this.

I don't blame anyone else for me being at this point. It's on me. But I can't definitively say what I did wrong. Or if I even did anything wrong at all.

I'm tired.

Hang in there, friend.  We're going to argue about shit here but it's never personal and nobody thinks less of you as a human being due to disagreement.  Except for the worst people and hey, they don't matter. 

I'm somewhat disagreeing with you about the Sahsa stuff in another thread, for example, but I'm not thinking "That Burgundy LaRue, what a worthless asshole!"  You're a valid person and we're all struggling with a lot of things.  Do your best.

Edited by Technico Support
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1 hour ago, Burgundy LaRue said:

I just don't know anymore.

I consider myself a regular person, more or less. With flaws and shortcomings, a bit sensitive, but fundamentally a decent person with average intelligence should be able to handle themselves in most situations.

But I'm reaching a point where it all feels wrong. Everything I think or say is meaningless and I can't get out of my own thoughts, no matter how much I tell myself to go about my day. To do basic things that someone in my position can do. Things that I've done multiple times for years.

I look at this world falling apart with so many who have it worse than me. And I feel dumb for being non-functional when I know how to function.

Like I should be doing something right now instead of typing on a message board. But I can't bring myself to even try.

It's ridiculous and stupid and I shouldn't be like this. I'm better than this.

I don't blame anyone else for me being at this point. It's on me. But I can't definitively say what I did wrong. Or if I even did anything wrong at all.

I'm tired.

Virtual hugs hun. We're here for you. Love, Paul xxx.

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So I bought some disks from Amazon, a couple of which weren't working right. So fine I go through the replacement process, Amazon just sends me another box set and says "hey you print this label and mail us back the defective shit (so we can sell it to some other idiot)". So I go to use my printer, but since no matter how advanced technology gets, even if we establish mining colonies on the moons of Saturn, printers will still all be things that crawled out of Satan's anus, of course it's stopped working.

So I talk to Amazon customer service and explain that I can't print out a label right now and like INSTANTLY they just go "whatever you can just keep that $75 thing you purchased and now have two of, we won't charge you for the second one bye". I mean, great but

I really don't understand how Amazon makes money. They ship shit for free. They will let you keep a spare DVD box set instead of just printing and mailing you a 5 cent label. Yet they have more money than God.

I understand nothing about how economics works.

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11 hours ago, Death From Above said:

So I bought some disks from Amazon, a couple of which weren't working right. So fine I go through the replacement process, Amazon just sends me another box set and says "hey you print this label and mail us back the defective shit (so we can sell it to some other idiot)". So I go to use my printer, but since no matter how advanced technology gets, even if we establish mining colonies on the moons of Saturn, printers will still all be things that crawled out of Satan's anus, of course it's stopped working.

So I talk to Amazon customer service and explain that I can't print out a label right now and like INSTANTLY they just go "whatever you can just keep that $75 thing you purchased and now have two of, we won't charge you for the second one bye". I mean, great but

I really don't understand how Amazon makes money. They ship shit for free. They will let you keep a spare DVD box set instead of just printing and mailing you a 5 cent label. Yet they have more money than God.

I understand nothing about how economics works.

I've had that happen a few times. The most expensive one was a soundbar with surround speakers. It looked like an already opened box, but all of the stuff inside was still in its plastic bags. The two satellite speakers didn't work and their automated chat thing was like, we're sending you a new one and don't worry about returning the old one. 

It wasn't even a human I was talking to. It's so wild. On the other hand, I ordered CA glue (basically super glue with an activator spray that makes it instantly bond - it's good for woodworking) and the package leaked out during shipping. They wouldn't refund me without returning that. It makes no sense.

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3 hours ago, Craig H said:

I've had that happen a few times. The most expensive one was a soundbar with surround speakers. It looked like an already opened box, but all of the stuff inside was still in its plastic bags. The two satellite speakers didn't work and their automated chat thing was like, we're sending you a new one and don't worry about returning the old one. 

It wasn't even a human I was talking to. It's so wild. On the other hand, I ordered CA glue (basically super glue with an activator spray that makes it instantly bond - it's good for woodworking) and the package leaked out during shipping. They wouldn't refund me without returning that. It makes no sense.

Hahaha, my wife had the exact same thing.  She got a bottle of crafting glue that exploded all over the box.  They asked me to ship it back.  I told them I would not do that.  They refunded me anyway without making me ship it back.

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I love and miss my Mum daily but there are times even more so. March is hard for my Birthday and Mother's Day though the latter usually falls in April. December for Mum's Birthday and Christmas. June the most towards the build of my Mum's passing, 8 years this Sunday the 26th of June. I remember exactly how my Mum said: "As long as you try your best, that's all that counts". I'm trying, man. Aching both physically and mentally. My Sister's poorly while someone else I dearly love has a operation for skin cancer. I'll help them as they do me. If a member here wants to talk/be listened to, my inbox is open for exactly that. Love, Paul xxx.

Edited by The Natural
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My mom told me over the weekend that i remind her very much of my father.  That's not something she would have said when Dad was alive (he passed 21 years ago).  We were very different personalities back then and I was kinda thin-skinned about the differences.  I felt like he was a little disappointed I didn't want to become a firefighter like him and wasn't handy, didn't want to work on cars, etc.  Benefit of age and hindsight makes me think the problems between us were mostly in my head.

Then i went off to college and came back politically active and very liberal.  Took me a bit to grow out of that.  Dad was an old-school conservative and I was obnoxiously confident about my beliefs, so I said a lot of things I'd like to take back.  Growing older and raising a family have my own has made me reevaluate a lot of my positions.  At a minimum, I should have been more respectful, though what i should have done is appreciate Dad's wisdom.

Anyway, Mom saying that made Father's Day for me. but at the same time, it's brought up a lot of regrets large and small.  I wish I had spent time puttering in Dad's workshop and working on cars.  I wish my kids had gotten to know their grandfather (the older ones barely remember him).  I wish I hadn't been so exasperating when I was younger.  Mostly, I just wish we had gotten to spend more time with him.  I was 28 when he died, but even at that age I was too immature to appreciate him as much as I should have.  He would have been a great grandfather.

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18 minutes ago, Mark said:

My mom told me over the weekend that i remind her very much of my father.  That's not something she would have said when Dad was alive (he passed 21 years ago).  We were very different personalities back then and I was kinda thin-skinned about the differences.  I felt like he was a little disappointed I didn't want to become a firefighter like him and wasn't handy, didn't want to work on cars, etc.  Benefit of age and hindsight makes me think the problems between us were mostly in my head.

Then i went off to college and came back politically active and very liberal.  Took me a bit to grow out of that.  Dad was an old-school conservative and I was obnoxiously confident about my beliefs, so I said a lot of things I'd like to take back.  Growing older and raising a family have my own has made me reevaluate a lot of my positions.  At a minimum, I should have been more respectful, though what i should have done is appreciate Dad's wisdom.

Anyway, Mom saying that made Father's Day for me. but at the same time, it's brought up a lot of regrets large and small.  I wish I had spent time puttering in Dad's workshop and working on cars.  I wish my kids had gotten to know their grandfather (the older ones barely remember him).  I wish I hadn't been so exasperating when I was younger.  Mostly, I just wish we had gotten to spend more time with him.  I was 28 when he died, but even at that age I was too immature to appreciate him as much as I should have.  He would have been a great grandfather.

That is rough.  Perhaps you can take a final lesson (is that the right word?  Seems harsh in a way I don't mean) out of this in the form of more understanding relationships with your own kids and grandkids (when they come, if you don't already have any).  So, if your is being a strident, obnoxiously confident college student, take it in stride and wait for the eventual mellowing.  

I got 43 years with my dad though I lived a couple thousand miles away for the last 20 of those years.  I miss him all the time.  What a nice compliment your mom gave you.  High-five and a hug, brother.

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Not believing in the fundamental goodness of human beings makes it really hard to sit through pre-k orientation with fake ass teachers and a school resource cop who would definitely let my kids die or accidentally shoot them in an emergency. I’m so close to just homeschooling them. The world is a sewer. 

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Is anyone on here friends with Burgundy LaRue outside of the forum? I haven’t seen her on here since her last post in this thread and I’m worried. Please reach out if you know how to or have her social media.

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Yeah, I'm pretty worried myself.  I was going to PM her but I think she put me on ignore and I don't really use social media anymore.  But I was wondering if maybe one of the mods like @RIPPAor @DEANmight have a way of contacting her outside of here.

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13 hours ago, Octopus said:

Is anyone on here friends with Burgundy LaRue outside of the forum? I haven’t seen her on here since her last post in this thread and I’m worried. Please reach out if you know how to or have her social media.

 

23 minutes ago, NikoBaltimore said:

Yeah, I'm pretty worried myself.  I was going to PM her but I think she put me on ignore and I don't really use social media anymore.  But I was wondering if maybe one of the mods like @RIPPAor @DEANmight have a way of contacting her outside of here.

We were Facebook friends for a while but Burgundy LaRue has unfriended me. Fairly recently I think. Still hope she's okay.

Edited by The Natural
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Processing the events of today will be hard enough as it is.  Reflect on your own.  Resist the urge to vent something stupid.  

Do not engage in debate if it is not earnest and civilized.  If you want to talk, feel free to shoot me a PM but if you want me to give you my opinion, I will.  Be warned.

If you offend easily, discuss the issue with those of a like mind.  That way you won't be disappointed by what you hear.

Edited by J.T.
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