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JANUARY 2021 Discussion of Wrestling


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New year, new hopes, y’all, and time to look to thee future as well as reflect on more innocent times. I was thinking about what I used to know, and here’s what emerged. I hope you will indulge me and hopefully think about how your certainties have evolved and maybe share them. Merry Hogmanay, my tribespeoples.

THINGS I WAS SURE ABOUT IN PRO WRESTLING WHILST I WAS A LAD
(let’s say, pre-Hogan era, WWWF/WWF bias, some UHF stations and magazines I bought at Gem Spa (RIP))
- Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka was so obviously a nutter, babyface status notwithstanding. We heard the rumors of his crime; his unhinged interviews made it believable. (note: this is not to trivialize his “alleged” horrid deeds, that shiazit is hard to parse now, let alone when you’re 40 years younger)
- Never mess with a Samoan, ever. Sure, sometimes they did (great) looney tunes in the ring but no doubt they were double tough. And their heads were the hardest.
- Greg “The Hammer” Valentine’s pageboy hairstyle and odd bodily proportions really unnerved me. However, he was a damn fine IC champ.
- My pal Crazy Bob’s film school buddy got a job dragging the video camera cables around ringside at MSG. We begged for inside dirt. Dig this: the funereal looking gent by the bell at the ringside official’s table had the sole job of monitoring the time of the matches, for (I assume) the MSG Network. He would gracefully place a pencil behind his ear when it was time to “take it home” (a term I would later learn) to signal the ref if the wrestlers were running long. This was before any ear piece tech, kiddies. We were dumb but we were smart - or vice versa, I dunno. We knew it was a work but we didn’t know how so it was no less fascinating to us. This curiosity certainly drove me to get into thee biz (in my very small way). The pencil shtick was confirmed for me years later, but I wish I knew more details. WRESTLING!!!
- Having a manager was a big help, even in the manager-free Madison Square Garden. How could you not want one? This is yet more proof that the rulebreakers were much wiser than the silly fan favorites that cared so much about what the half-wits in the cheap seats thought. Sure, Albano’s interference sometimes backfired or Blassie kept the money and paid you in camels or The Grand Wizard watched you shower, but you got to hang out with The Captain, thee Hollywood Fashion Plate and/or Abdullah Farouk and that sounded awesome to us.
- George The Animal Steele wasn’t as savage as he would have us think. We all heard he was a teacher in Michigan, and one time Arthur A and I were running late so we hopped in a taxi to MSG. The cabbie asked if we were going to see “the ‘rasslin’” (and we knew enough to heed the words of a gent who says “the ‘rasslin’”). We nodded our pimply heads, and while cutting multiple lanes on 6th Ave he told us that that stuff is fixed, see? He picks up that Steele guy in his hack a couple years ago and he talks just fine, not like on TV, AND he had to stop at newsstand on the way, ‘cause you know how his tongue is green, well it ain’t green because he’s a caveman or nothin’, it’s because George Steele bought a pack of CLORETS there and that’s what makes his tongue green, get it? Whatever we tipped that man, it was not enough.
- Everybody loves the midgets.
- There were a lot of old, fat, masked and/or small wrestlers in those other territories. Some didn’t look all that threatening in the magazines (Verne Gagne? Dory Funk Jr.?!?!) but we sometimes caught different wrestling shows, and other folks were no joke (Abdullah the Butcher, Harley Race). I wanted to know more about what was out there...

Upon transcribing these thoughts, I can still stand behind them: they as yet hold true (esp. the one about Greg Valentine). I guess I wasn’t so naive after all.

-the more i learn the more I find I don’t know,
RAF, 2021
 

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One hope I have in twenty-twenty-fun, and it may be an outside one, is that if vaccinations go well, perhaps AEW will come to the UK and I will get to go. If not, I hope at least to go see some indie wrestling. An outside gig or going to a local football match seems like something achievable soon as well. 

There is light at the end of the tunnel and we must have these things to look forward to 🙂.

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10 hours ago, Morganti said:

I just spent minutes MINUTES confusing Mojo Rawley with Mongo in my head.  I couldn't remember Mojo's name.

Fairly sure that's what got Mongo into the Horsemen: getting Flair and the boys into parties where everyone forgot each other's names after a hard night of drinking.

Saw an old Observer item recently about WCW trying to resign Mongo to a new contract and Mongo refusing to sign unless he got assurances he wouldn't be split off from the Horsemen.  Priorities!

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7 hours ago, Leonidas said:

One hope I have in twenty-twenty-fun, and it may be an outside one, is that if vaccinations go well, perhaps AEW will come to the UK and I will get to go. If not, I hope at least to go see some indie wrestling. An outside gig or going to a local football match seems like something achievable soon as well. 

There is light at the end of the tunnel and we must have these things to look forward to 🙂.

There is a light, dude. I work for the NHS and after a year of this shite, I’m finally getting a vaccine on Monday. And I’m buying a ticket to AEW in the UK the day it goes on sale. I don’t care where they’re performing, I’m there. AEW weekly and on PPV gives me WCW in 96 vibes, and I’ll support those guys to Hell and back.

Also I haven’t posted in yonks. Weird.

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20 hours ago, Andy in Kansas said:

The parade of human misery will never stop and its pace will never slow. Enjoy your one or two days of hope. The end is nigh.

And if you think that’s dark, wait till Brock is WWE Champion again. 

Is he going over the winner of the sure to be a five star classic Roman/Goldberg Wrestlemania main event?

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5 minutes ago, HumanChessgame said:

Is he going over the winner of the sure to be a five star classic Roman/Goldberg Wrestlemania main event?

That would mega-suck. So much of the booking of Roman's career as a top guy has been hindered by Brock's continued presence in the title picture. To stifle him again when he's on this run would be infuriating. So I definitely wouldn't put it past them!

But I'd more expect him to impale Drew on his claymore. Maybe top the eye-for-an-eye stupidity with a beheading match. 

Edited by Andy in Kansas
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Not fantasy booking because it's not anyone's fantasy and it's actually going to happen. Goldberg will win the RR entering at #30 and eliminate about 8 people to no reaction then defeat Roman in 3 minutes in February negating the point of winning the RR before jobbing the belt back to Roman at Mania in 4 minutes. It won't work like the Brock stuff did. The Miz will cash in for the 4th time in 4 months and lose again.

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3 minutes ago, Curt McGirt said:

I spent the whole day throwing up. Happy fuckin' New Year...

Every New Year, same as the last New Year?

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Oh believe me I've learned THAT in the last year. Someone should force me at gunpoint to do DDP Yoga. 

Really I was just drinking a lot this week, put the brakes on and had withdrawal. I've gone through problems with this for years. I might've just cashed in my last card on it. 

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17 minutes ago, LoneWolf&Subs said:

What about Red Sox great Moe Vaughn?

He's a fraud, his real name is Maurice. I will make an exception for Hideo Nomo.

Edited by Ryan
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