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It's funny.  I was raised pretty poorly by my parents.  Really, my grandparents did more since my parents were of that generation that thought that working to put a roof over kids' heads, clothes on their backs, and food in their bellies was enough.  They eventually split up when they decided their own happiness was more important than mine and my siblings'.  I say all this to illustrate that I often have some insecurity and unsureness about being a parent.  And I need to tell you that if, at the end of the night, you ever sit and wonder if you did enough for your kid that day, or if you're doing right by then, then guess what: you did do enough and you are doing right by them.  Because I can tell you that shitty parents don't have those thoughts. 

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I don't know if I'd totally be on board with that, piece-of-shit-parent-wise.  I got a lot of the same scent from mine that you did your own, it sounds like, and I also have always had the impression my father was the sort of person to internally grind on bad decisions (probably where I get the same habit).  Then again, his coping mechanism for that discomfort was, and is, to be snide and superficial and make everything about himself (while simultaneously tearing down anything and anyone who makes him look like a buffoon...sound familiar to anyone?), so it's all but impossible to feel the least bit sorry for him, no matter how much he might beat himself up for things.

So, I kind of agree with what you said, but I think there can be cases that go against the grain.  Bad parents seem to want carbon copies of themselves, and good parents want their kids to outstrip them, even if that means being left behind in some way.  I grew up with an object lesson in what kind of person not to be, so I had a bad parent who accidentally seems like a good one to outside observers.  *shrug*

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Nah man, I get you.  And I probably shouldn't have said it in such absolutes.  Maybe bad parents still do have those thoughts but then they find some way to brush them aside, I don't know.  I guess I mean that if you had bad parents, just do what you can to be better than them!  :)

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I find myself blessed in that I was adopted a few days old and raised by 2 very driven yet loving parents. My relationship with my father was contentious after the passing of my mother when I was 16 but I was always in awe  of the man he was. He never understood my love of comics, cartoons and what not. He was a serious guy who worked hard, graduated Ivy League 2 years ahead of when he was supposed to (with a double major no less) and then ended making money on Wall St. to support me, my sister and mother (and my mother worked too, she being Price Waterhouse after graduating Columbia). I didn't comprehend what a private school education meant when I was younger and how lucky I was to get that kind of education (and by the time I could appreciate it, I kinda had pissed my opportunities after that away)

James

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Grumpy parent opinion of the day: Adults who use the "family restroom" all by themselves, presumably to have  more privacy and a cleaner bathroom-going experience, can fuck right off and hopefully catch ass-devouring super staph.  Fuck those people.

 

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The error there is "presumably".  As someone with his share of GI problems, the best bathroom is often classified as "within reach".

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9 minutes ago, Contentious C said:

The error there is "presumably".  As someone with his share of GI problems, the best bathroom is often classified as "within reach".

Well the family restroom is usually located right next to the others, but you do have a point.

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When the phrase "It's crowning" pops into your head, that last 5 feet can matter.

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My 2 year old has become quite the Nick Bockwinkel at stalling her bed time. 

Can barely get her to brush her teeth in the morning. Takes a good 10 minutes at night. Then goes looking for her teddy at the other end of the house, before wanting the same story a good 3-4 times. Then another round of cuddles. Then the music CD changed. And more milk.

Heard stories of kids deliberately throwing up or filling their diaper to avoid it. Pulls that shit, and I'm enforcing the title changes hands on a count out or deliberate DQ rule.

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11 hours ago, RolandTHTG said:

My 2 year old has become quite the Nick Bockwinkel at stalling her bed time. 

Can barely get her to brush her teeth in the morning. Takes a good 10 minutes at night. Then goes looking for her teddy at the other end of the house, before wanting the same story a good 3-4 times. Then another round of cuddles. Then the music CD changed. And more milk.

Heard stories of kids deliberately throwing up or filling their diaper to avoid it. Pulls that shit, and I'm enforcing the title changes hands on a count out or deliberate DQ rule.

My daughter is 4 and let me tell you...the delays are still happening.  I try not to blow up but damn, sometimes I'm like, "WHY DOES IT TAKE AN HOUR TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE??"

Also, re bedtime routines: don't get used to any bedtime routine, because it will change and change often.  Hopefully for the better.  Knock on wood, but I remember having to read a stack of specific books a specific way for like 90 minutes when she was young.  It's a lot easier now but I understand that could be totally different in a month!

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My daughter is 10 and there are still days where the words "I have to poop!" magically appear after I say it's time to get ready for bed.  Or once she's in bed she think of five separate things she forgot to tell throughout the day, then needs a hug and a kiss after each one.  I keep telling myself it's not that big of a deal because there will come a day where I'll be lucky to get a "Goodnight dad" out of her.

 

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So I took Sandy to the store with me to get something to drink. I get what I wanted and go to the counter and start talking with the guy who owns the place. I pay and me and Sandy leave. Now Sandy is in her little truck and we're heading home when I notice she has something in both hands. Turns out she grabbed 2 Payday bars from the lower shelf while I was talking to the owner. I turn around with Sandy in tow and return the candy bars. He just laughs and gives her a ring pop

James

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On 7/23/2019 at 11:10 PM, RolandTHTG said:

My 2 year old has become quite the Nick Bockwinkel at stalling her bed time. 

Can barely get her to brush her teeth in the morning. Takes a good 10 minutes at night. Then goes looking for her teddy at the other end of the house, before wanting the same story a good 3-4 times. Then another round of cuddles. Then the music CD changed. And more milk.

Heard stories of kids deliberately throwing up or filling their diaper to avoid it. Pulls that shit, and I'm enforcing the title changes hands on a count out or deliberate DQ rule.

Really you need to start to worry when she starts using Bockwinkel's King of the Mountain tactics to keep you out of the bedroom. 

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19 hours ago, J.H. said:

So I took Sandy to the store with me to get something to drink. I get what I wanted and go to the counter and start talking with the guy who owns the place. I pay and me and Sandy leave. Now Sandy is in her little truck and we're heading home when I notice she has something in both hands. Turns out she grabbed 2 Payday bars from the lower shelf while I was talking to the owner. I turn around with Sandy in tow and return the candy bars. He just laughs and gives her a ring pop

James

LOOOL I've had the same thing happen with my little shoplifter.

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Statement: I'm kind of terrified of my daughter
Explanation: The Wife and I were chilling with Sandy in the bedroom few days ago. It was quality family ssnuggle time. Then one of our cats meanders in. This is "Sandy's Cat". His name is little bit but I think he's an asshole and so to me he is lil'Shit.  So Lil'Shit slinks on to the bed with us and suddenly Sandy flops on top of him. Janice and I spring in to action and start counting a 3 count since The Baby Wrestling World Championship is under 24/7 rules. Sandy goes all heel and lets the cat up at 2. I start laughing BUT THEN..Sandy grabs the cat by the right front arm and then wraps her legs around the cat's neck and starts to squeeze. Janice immediately tries to get Sandy to break the hold. I'm too stunned as I start thinking out loud "Did she just put the cat in Gogoplata?"

James

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On 7/29/2019 at 2:07 PM, J.H. said:

So I took Sandy to the store with me to get something to drink. I get what I wanted and go to the counter and start talking with the guy who owns the place. I pay and me and Sandy leave. Now Sandy is in her little truck and we're heading home when I notice she has something in both hands. Turns out she grabbed 2 Payday bars from the lower shelf while I was talking to the owner. I turn around with Sandy in tow and return the candy bars. He just laughs and gives her a ring pop

James

 

On 7/30/2019 at 9:58 AM, Technico Support said:

LOOOL I've had the same thing happen with my little shoplifter.

For the dad's and their little kleptos.

 

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