WholeFnMachine Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 2 hours ago, J.T. said: I'm ready to take full custody of my daughter, but I'm not ready for the ex and I to have the "okay when the time comes..." talk, if that makes any sense. It totally makes sense, one of the biggest regrets and mistakes in my parenting life was not being more honest with my daughter when my father got sick. I didn't prepare her enough nor did I give her a real chance to say good bye until it was too late. She was about 9 1/2 and I thought I was protecting her, but it was a massive error. I don't have an answer for you friend, and I cannot even imagine how much harder it is when it's the child's parent, even though she was super close with my Dad, but I can tell you, this is my big regret. I wish you the best Sir. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T. Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 21 hours ago, WholeFnMachine said: . I didn't prepare her enough nor did I give her a real chance to say good bye until it was too late. I'm not so sure that the opposite is all that great of an alternative either. My grandmother died of lung cancer when I was fifteen years old and my younger siblings and I pretty much got a front row seat and watched her wither away for six months. It was hard to witness all that, but I was all grieved out by the time she finally passed away. It seems like the better route in retrospect, but enduring it was fucking horrible. I'd spare my kid the pain of dealing with all of that but as you have eloquently said, sometimes protection is the worst thing you can offer. My ex is the person my daughter is closest to in the world and that makes sense because that's her mother. Watching her mom go through all of that will be one of the hardest things she's ever done and she's already got high school, teenage blues, and the daily dance with divorced parents on her plate. All her life, she's always lived through functional dysfunction and the best thing I can do for her is provide a port in the storm. I can be her father, assure her that life will continue, and give her a corner of the world to act like a teen instead of a mini grown-up. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Sugar Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 My daughters visited my mother the first day she was moved to hospice for her final days after a long, ugly battle with cancer. I did not bring them back again, as it was too much for the adults to deal with...let alone two little girls. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Technico Support Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 God damn, @J.T. I'm sorry to hear that 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T. Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 You dudes are good bros. The ex is just starting to fight this battle, so my mission is to be there for my kid and help her cope. The survival rate is pretty good, so we'll focus on the Mom Is Getting Treatment aspect rather than the Mom May Die scary shit. God willing, the cancer goes into remission and life goes on. If not, I cross the bridge when I get to it. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Technico Support Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 It's funny hearing people piss and moan about losing one hour of sleep due to daylight savings and how it somehow fucks up their whole week...I have a toddler who, at least once a week, wakes up and doesn't want to go back to sleep, and somehow I get by just fine. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T. Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 1 hour ago, Technico Support said: It's funny hearing people piss and moan about losing one hour of sleep due to daylight savings and how it somehow fucks up their whole week...I have a toddler who, at least once a week, wakes up and doesn't want to go back to sleep, and somehow I get by just fine. Oh, the days when I was a young parent and could survive on four or five hours of sleep. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert C Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 My 2 year old does the wake up, refuse to go back to sleep thing reliably every 3-4 days. Those nights would've been much easier at 26, or even 36. At 46, they suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Technico Support Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 24 minutes ago, Robert C said: My 2 year old does the wake up, refuse to go back to sleep thing reliably every 3-4 days. Those nights would've been much easier at 26, or even 36. At 46, they suck. Holy shit, same here. 37 minutes ago, J.T. said: Oh, the days when I was a young parent and could survive on four or five hours of sleep. Like @Robert C, I had a kid late. But I'm a young 42. Or so I keep telling myself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T. Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 1 minute ago, Technico Support said: Like @Robert C, I had a kid late. But I'm a young 42. Or so I keep telling myself. I envy your biological clock. I need at least a solid six hours in order to function the next day. I'm already formulating my excuse as to why I won't be into work the day after Mass Effect Andromeda release day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert C Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 All the boys in my son's daycare class have taken to wrestling each other. They're all about the same age, but he's a head taller than all the others, so he's basically working squash matches. His finisher is to sit on his opponent. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgundy LaRue Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 @J.T.So sorry to hear about your ex. I had an uncle who passed over 25 years ago from a cancerous tumor. The family had known for years how his story would end. I saw what it did to my granny, who had raised five children by herself after being her husband died long before and then to lose a son. Wishing you and your daughter the best through this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T. Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Thanks, B. We're just going to take this one day at a time. It's my custody weekend, but I'm going to let my kid stay close to her mom since her next session of chemo is on Friday. That sorta works for me because I've been on shift for two weeks and I haven't slept in my own bed since the beginning of the month. I need some bonding time with my significant other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSJ Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 16 hours ago, Robert C said: All the boys in my son's daycare class have taken to wrestling each other. They're all about the same age, but he's a head taller than all the others, so he's basically working squash matches. His finisher is to sit on his opponent. Haystacks Calhoun would be proud. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brysynner Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 So I took my kids to the local college to see the one act musical of Knuffle Bunny. My 8 year old son and 4 year old daughter are having a great time and at the end of the musical the lead male actor says something along the lines of "You know this would make a really good story some day" and my daughter yells out "I HAVE THIS STORY!!!!" and the actor started cracking up. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grilledcheese Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 Today was most fucking excellent. Opening Day for Little League and yours truly is the skipper for my 7 year old son's team. Had a blast, as I always do when it comes to kid events, and my team looked super sharp. Coaching was starting to be a little stressful a few weeks ago because our local Little League is the goddamn worst when it comes to communicating, and I hate to look like an asshole with no answers when parents ask me about stuff. But when practices get going and then we start playing games, I realize I don't give a fuck about all the bullshit that goes along with it, I just want to play baseball with a bunch of kids, because it's hella fun. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brysynner Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 My son starts Little League this week, evaluations were supposed to be yesterday but the weather was crappy so they moved it to Tuesday...which sucks because I have to be at work in DC when he has his practice so the Wifemate is handling all that so that should be interesting. I so wanted to coach but I'm stuck on shift work through the season so I can't make the commitment I need. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwoy2j Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 I'm about to enter this zone in May. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T. Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Welcome to the DAD zone! Everything you heard about fatherhood, good bad and otherwise, is probably true. Well, my daughter made the soccer team yesterday so she'll play one more season in middle school and then it's off to high school. My ex's treatments are kinda sketchy. She's had to adjust her chemo schedule because she's not producing enough platelets to aid in fighting her lymphoma. Because of that, I think my daughter has elected to go to normal high school instead of one of the specialty schools. My feelings are mixed. While I'm a little disappointed that she won't be going to one of the magnet schools, I understand her desire to stick close to her mom during a difficult time. Wherever she goes to school, I'm certain she'll do well, but she still has her future to look after and needs to pad her college applications as best she can so yeah, I respect my daughter's decision but I don't really agree with it. I know that's a very clinical thing to say and I feel a little bad for thinking it, but I also want my kid to take advantage of every good situation that comes her way. I am also envious of my kid's unwavering ability to take the worst of life's lemons and make a kickass pitcher of lemonade. That was my attitude before I became a jaded adult. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Technico Support Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 19 hours ago, cwoy2j said: I'm about to enter this zone in May. Welcome! It's awesome and you definitely learn to get by on as little sleep as possible. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red is Dead Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Congrats cwoy2j - like technico said you will realise you can survive on 2 hours sleep for a fortnight. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Technico Support Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 And then you see a news story that says that driving on 2-3 hours' sleep is the same as driving drunk and you're like "hahahaa fuck you it's not." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red is Dead Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 as youre driving on the wrong side of the road. on a motorway in rush hour. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Koch Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I'll be joining the club in October. I'll be 60 when my kid graduates. Fuuuuuuuuck. At least I'll be a good age to be a Wal-Mart greeter to pay for the kid's textbooks in college. And JT, sorry to hear about your ex. My stepson went through cancer treatment (including a surgery that removed 3 of his ribs) last year. It's a really horrible thing to go through. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T. Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 You have always been a good bro, Neil. Glad to hear about your impending fatherhood! And yeah, I will be pushing sixty when my daughter graduates from college. Ugh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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