The DAD Zone

[AxB]

One Christmas, my son (when he was about 7 years old) and all of his cousins (on that side of the family, ages from 3-8) were in my Dad's house. Someone mispronounced the word 'Sit' by shushing the sibilant, and my son fell about laughing while all of his cousins sat there with blank expressions like they'd heard nothing even slightly amusing. Even though three of them went to the same school as him*... so either they were all total nerds who the cool kids never taught how to swear, or they were acting innocent to impress their parents.

I don't think he's ever sworn in front of me, except as a quotation. He doesn't even swear when he's angry.

* nb: Their dad, my Step-cousin-sort-of, is a Pentecostal minister or something, and they're a bunch of religious kids. They had a big argument with the school about RE lessons because the parents didn't want the children learning about other faiths and beliefs. But he insists it's his son's decision to be religious and he hasn't encouraged him into any faith in any way at all. Then they left that school and went to live in a Church instead.

[Brysynner]

Wasn't sure to put this here or the wrestling folder but my wife e-mailed me at work and let me know that my daughter is singing "Glorious Domination". I feel this counts as good parenting that I've got her to like the song and sing it randomly....also I've convinced her that it is my theme song when I come home so yeah I'm doing good parenting

[Matt D]

Things that happened in the last 24 hours.

1.) I obtained video of 4 year old daughter cracking herself up by going "CHOCOBO, CHCOCOBOOOOOB."  over and over again.

2.) Having discovered that she loves old silent movie slapstick, we watched Safety Last before bed last night. It was followed by her spending the next five minutes dramatically pretending she was climbing up a building by trying to climb up the chair we were in and make it to my head. It was pretty much the best. 

[J.T.]

This is my daughter's last year in middle school.  Next year she will be a Freshman in High School.

I am not adjusting well.

[Robert C]

My 20 month old son started day care two weeks ago.  He came back with an injury report last week after he decided to climb a bookshelf, fell off, and bonked his head.  Then he showed the other kids how to do it, and everybody wanted to try.  

Then he came home, climbed up on his plastic slide we have set up in the living room, held his arms above his head and proceeded to dive off the thing like he was doing Olympic platform diving or something.  Fortunately I saw that coming and caught him before he landed headfirst on the tile.  

I'm an adrenaline junkie, but I don't think this kid has any fear of anything whatsoever.

[offspring515]

Today in the car my nearly three year old told me "Daddy me love you with alllll my heart." I was beaming at his sweet little sentiment.

About a minute later he said "Me love Curious George with alllll my heart!" and the impact was lessened. 

[Johnny Sorrow]

3 hours ago, offspring515 said:

Today in the car my nearly three year old told me "Daddy me love you with alllll my heart." I was beaming at his sweet little sentiment.

About a minute later he said "Me love Curious George with alllll my heart!" and the impact was lessened. 

Start wearing a yellow hat, dude. You'll be back on top.

[Marty Sugar]

Based on the swearing debate that happened here earlier, I found this article the other day that I think summed up nicely my opinion on swearing:

https://www.fatherly.com/fatherly-forum/swear-in-front-of-kids-dont-give-damn/

Quote

Bad words in my home include “hate,” “shut up,” “fat,” “ugly,” “stupid,” and any word that makes someone feel less than for their sexuality, race, religion, gender, etc.

 

[Red is Dead]

Proud dad moment - two weeks before fourth birthday and she swims across the length of the pool (10m) without armbands...insane.

 

[Burgundy LaRue]

@Red is Dead: time to become a task master and push your daughter to Olympic glory!  For being her manager, your fee will only be 70% of any endorsement deals she signs.

[Red is Dead]

85%

[Marty Sugar]

Forget that: take it all until she grows resentful and sues you. It's the only way.

[AxB]

My (12 year old) son has noticed that if he puts his face right into a mirror, he can spot a few thin, wispy little hairs between his nose and his top lip. Or as he put it "I've got a moustache!".

[J.T.]

20 minutes ago, AxB said:

My (12 year old) son has noticed that if he puts his face right into a mirror, he can spot a few thin, wispy little hairs between his nose and his top lip. Or as he put it "I've got a moustache!".

Heh.  When I was 12 and saw my first lip hairs started to demand my own razor so that I could shave, my father grew a full beard so that I could see what actual facial hair looked like.

I learned my lesson

I didn't start shaving regularly until I was in my mid twenties.

[AxB]

I've had facial hair in some degree or other since before he was born. Even in the rare moments when I was clean shaven, I kept the Bas Rutten bottom lip beard. OTOH, even though there are pictures of me and him where I have hair on my head, I've been bald as long as he can remember.

We'd look more alike otherwise... he has my hair and my chin, but nobody can tell. He has his Mum's cheekbones though. Good job too, she looks like Bjork.

[MonteCarl]

So my now 2 year old loves watching those surprise egg videos where there are eggs made out of Play-Doh with each letter of the alphabet and a toy or animal inside the eggs. A few weeks ago, I bought him some Play-Doh and he quickly turned it in to a game where he wanted me to place one of his toys inside the Play-Doh so he could then open it up and get his toy out, just like in the videos he watches.

Well, the other day while he was napping, I gathered up a bunch of his smaller toys and his Play-Doh, set up my phone on the kitchen table, and I made him a video just like the ones he watches, but with his own toys inside the eggs. This took about two hours, the entire length of his nap. I uploaded this video to YouTube and showed it to him on the TV, and he IMMEDIATELY started smiling and giggling because he recognized my voice and then recognized his own toys on the TV.

Since then, this has been a go-to video that he just LOVES to watch. I'm sure in the next few days, Mom and I will get just as annoyed with this video that I made as we are with the other videos he watches constantly, but it feels really great to have created something for him and for him to enjoy it as much as he does.

I would heartily suggest to any parent to do something similar for their kid to make their TV time a bit more personal and more enjoyable for their child. It didn't take that much time, and the amount of joy he's now getting out of it is so worth it.

[Marty Sugar]

Oldest is 12 and hasn't publicly danced with me for years, as that's embarrassing. My youngest is 8 and always quick to jump in and dance with Dad...until last night. We were at a sparsely-attended kids part at the Rec Centre and she REFUSED. Broke my fucking heart.

[Roman]

I thought you might enjoy this:

[J.T.]

We start hitting the specialty high school open houses in a couple of weeks.

I am old.

[Marty Sugar]

My oldest is 12 and figured out the Santa gimmick when she was 8; she made a big stink about it and I pulled her aside and gave her the same talk my mother did:

a. STFU and don't ruin it for your little sister if you know what's good for you; and,

b. play along and you'll still get presents from Santa.

My youngest is now nine and still believes; not judging, just stating the facts. But last night she fucking tossed and turned and cried and fussed until 3:45 in the motherfucking morning, like a goddamn baby. She finally fell asleep and I finally got Christmas set up at 4:30, but was so frustrated and downright annoyed that I couldn't sleep until almost 6am. Then both girls slept in--the youngest, obviously because she's exhausted but the oldest because she'll sleep until 2pm every day if you let her--and I had to drag my ass out of bed at 10:30 to get them up and moving, as their mother was coming for them at noon.

Then my youngest was a cranky shit because she was tired.  I was very tempted to break kayfabe on Santa, but let it go...I'm not a total monster.

Merry Fucking Christmas, indeed.

[Mike Campbell]

I came down with the stomach bug from hell on Christmas Eve, and spent close to ten hours vomiting up everything I'd eaten that day, and then wasn't even able to keep down water or Ginger Ale. Being such a considerate hubby, I stayed on the couch, so as not to spread it to anyone else. Well, the older daughter got sick at about 2:00 AM, so the wife brought her down to change her clothes, and the younger one followed. They saw that Santa came, and went right for the stockings.

 

I'm on the couch feeling like death, and the wife's only reaction is "Well, I guess it's technically Christmas." I told her, in a not so jolly tone of voice, that it was fucking 2 AM, and I'm still vomiting, and to get them back into bed.

[Technico Support]

Sweet Jesus I have the Sesame Street "It's the Letter of the Day" song in my head and it won't go away

 

 

[Red is Dead]

Daddy daughter bonding time watching the lego batman movie.

She was rapt for 45 minutes during the middle of the movie watching all the going's on. I was giggling at the old school references.

[WholeFnMachine]

I'm approaching a huge crossroads here as my oldest daughter turned 18 two weeks ago and will be graduating high school in June and most likely going off to Buffalo State instead of the much more local John Jay. Her mom & I split when she was 2 1/2 (I got UBER lucky and met my current wife 10 month later and they are super duper tight,) but I have had her every weekend since and I have no idea how I will deal with her being gone for MONTHS at a time. She claims that she wants to switch to be with the wife & I during the week for the summer which I am hoping is true so I can get in some extra face time. I have so many worries about her going away and starting college in general. 

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum my younger daughter is 2 and 4 months is obsessed with The Secret Life of Pets and Elena of Avalor. Also obsessed with either pouring her beverages out all over or just putting her food into them. Drives me fucking nuts. Yesterday my wife sent me a video of her laughing hysterically while at the wife's aunts house and having her toes licked by their dog. I almost burst into tears at my damn desk. I am a super emotional person, especially when it comes to my girls. 

And let me say it has been a huge difference having the oldest born when I was 22 1/2 and the youngest when I was 38 and having the elder one's Sweet 16 3 months after the little bunny was born. 

Sorry for the long rambling post, needed to vent to my fellow Dads.

Oh and to the Dad whose kids are doing BJJ, that's so incredible, I'm a purple belt and 2 of my close friends run our academy's kids program and I help out on occasion, I love watching & helping the littles learn. My oldest gave it a whirl but at the time I could only afford for her to do BJJ or cheerleading and cheerleading won out. Hopefully the little one will want to Jitz with her old man. 

[J.T.]

Well, being the divorced father of a 14 year old daughter just got a lot more complicated, as if it weren't already.

I just learned that my ex-wife has been diagnosed with Stage 2 Lymphoma and will start chemo this week.  This explains why my daughter has been more distant than usual. 

The person she's closest to in life is dealing with the C word and the memories of her aunt passing away five months ago from the C word are still fresh in her mind

My ex is focusing on getting better which is what she should be doing, but she's also giving me those tiny mortality cues that you hate to receive. 

I'm ready to take full custody of my daughter, but I'm not ready for the ex and I to have the "okay when the time comes..." talk, if that makes any sense.