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2020 JUSTIN NEWBOULD (3rd Annual) CHRISTMAS CHAOS


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FITZWILLY (Delbert Mann, 1967)

IMDB : ROTTEN TOMATOES

(Available on Amazon Prime)

SELECTED BY @odessasteps

A nice harmless Xmas movie with Dick Van Dyke, Barbara Feldon’s first starring role in a movie and a slew of veteran character actors including Norman Fell, John Fiedler and Gilbert Gottfried favorite John McIver. 

REVIEWED BY @driver

FitzWilly stars Dick Van Dyke and Barbara Feldon. My knowledge of non-Dick Van Dyke Show Dick Van Dyke roles is pretty much limited to Mary Poppins and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (insert wacky porn title jokes here).

Van Dyke is a butler to an eccentric lady named Miss Vickie (insert Tiny Tim joke here).  His proper name is FitzWilliam but is affectionately known as FitzWilly. He controls every aspect of Miss Vickie's household (including hiring of all staff).

When FitzWilly and Miss Julia(Feldon) meet each other they instantly hate each other. Bet we're headed for romance later on, if every other romcom is any indication. We shall see.

Van Dyke excels as FitzWilly. It takes a certain charm to pull off a role like this. The only other actor I could see in this role is David Niven.

Funding such a large house and staff is quite expensive, to ensure this happens FitzWilly, the staff and Fred Meyers(all twenty seven of them) engage in some highjinks to get the monies necessary to pay the bills.

The script is quite light and fluffy. If it were any fluffier it would meow. That's a good thing.

With her haircut and glasses Feldon could pass for Velma from Scooby Doo.

I really enjoyed this movie. While following the formula of a million other movies, it works here. The whole atmosphere is very light and enjoyable.

If you're a fan of Dick Van Dyke, 60s romcoms, heist movies or any combination therein then give this a look.

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BONUS REVIEW: By @Execproducer

"If memory serves me right, Christmas is just around the corner and it is my wish to welcome this festive season celebrated around the world with a special battle...."

-Chairman Kaga.

Iron Chef, Ep. #49 - Strawberry Dessert Battle.

It's Christmastime at Kitchen Stadium which means it's dessert time! The challenger is Chef Masayo Waki, today a noted author and culinary expert, but at this point in her career a veteran French chef affiliated with the Hattori Nutrition College, a cooking school run by regular Iron Chef commentator and 2x battle loser, Dr. Yukio Hattori. Because this is a special battle and due to Chef Waki's similar background, Iron Chef French Hiroyuki Sakai has been pre-selected to make a solo assent into Kitchen Stadium. Chairman Kaga assures us that Iron Chef Sakai has eagerly awaited this battle which Sakai will in short order refute by complaining that he lost his last battle ( Quail ) and would have preferred not to face a woman since they are undefeated in Kitchen Stadium. The previous two female challengers both took out Iron Chef Chinese Chen Kenichi and Iron Chef Sakai wonders aloud why Chef Waki wouldn't have chosen him instead!

As Chairman Kaga speaks about the mystery ingredient, I blurt out "Ichigo!" a second before he does and wonder why I didn't continue studying Nihongo. 

Allez Cuisine!

Beside Dr. Hattori on commentary, as well as one of the judges, is actress Eri Fukatsu ( Fukatsu Eri if we are in Japan ) who has been in films that I have seen. Joining her on the judging panel is actress Mayuko Takata who has not, though she did make several appearances on Iron Chef.

Besides strawberries, both chefs go for sponge cake to make a version of Christmas Cake, a popular tradition in Japan. Two popular traditions not on the menu? Fried chicken and sex though Chef Waki's husband is in the audience and Iron Chef Sakai declares that the theme of his menu is a love letter to his sweetie. Awwwwww.

The story-line of this battle is Chef Waki's serene calm and effortless poise vs Iron Chef Sakai's sweaty perfectionism. Kitchen Reporter Ohta reports that a very relaxed Chef Waki was chatting up her assistants before the battle. What isn't generally known is that the Hattori Nutrition College supplied most of the assistants throughout the shows run, perhaps giving Chef Waki an edge most challengers didn't have.

Still, Chef Waki never appears flustered, even when her kitchen scale refuses to cooperate. Iron Chef Sakai wows the crowd by making cotton candy with a spoon. 

Sixty minutes goes by quick in Kitchen Stadium and Chef Waki finishes with five dishes: Champagne Cocktail with Strawberries, Xmas Double Deluxe with Kiwi and Strawberry Sauces ( her take on Christmas Cake ), Strawberry Soup with Saffron Syrup and Strawberry Sorbet, Warm Dessert for the Holy Night, a sweet bean paste and rice sorta pudding and cookie, and Strawberries on Sticks, basically sugar dipped strawberries.

Iron Chef Sakai counters with three dishes: Strawberry Mint Soup made with champagne and strawberry sorbet, Strawberry and Banana Pie, and White Chocolate and Strawberry Cake with Orange Sauce and I think I've gained 10 pounds just typing this.

Hey, it's time for tasting and judgement. Joining the already mentioned judges are songwriter Yasushi Akimoto, perhaps best known in the west for creating AKB48, and food critic and Iron Chef regular, the late Asako Kishi. You can generally tell in which direction the judges are leaning by their comments and this ep is no different, though both chefs receive positive feedback.

And the winner is....

Spoiler

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MIXED NUTS (Nora Ephron, 1994)

IMDB : ROTTEN TOMATOES (10%/47%)

SELECTED BY RIPPA

More on this in a minute

REVIEWED BY @Curt McGirt

This movie is a shit-show. 

First off, and this is personal, it's based on a pair of people playing suicide phone-workers over the holidays. One of my best friends does that, and she has had her mother and her lover commit suicide. Not the concept for me. 

Second, and this is personal as well, it has a pretty ridiculous version of a trans person as a butt of a lot of jokes, and I have a few trans friends. 

That said... it's just not funny. My sense of humor is pretty broad and nothing really offends me if you do it well, but none of this shit is funny, aside from Madeline Kahn who will forever be a bright light in my world whenever she shows up.  And throwing Adam Sandler in with his stupid ukelele-playing gimmick with the goofy voice? Steve Martin can go kick rocks. 

Fuck Christmas. This movie sucks. 

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So I ruined Curt’s Christmas…

I picked Mixed Nuts for no real special reasons outside of it being on a lot of “underrated Christmas movies” lists but if I am being honest I think that is more because of the current trend of anything early 90s is in again.

Boy was there that period where all the Christmas movies were based around bleak as hell things (in a variety of directions). Besides what Curt noted about Mixed Nuts, there was obviously The Ref (look back a couple of Chaos ago), Family Man, Jack Frost and I am sure others that I am spacing. I guess it finally ran its course with Bad Santa.

Anyway – just to fill in some of the context on the movie, this was the movie Nora Ephron directed AFTER When Harry Met Sally. I am sure Martin agreed to be in because of Ephron and he must have considered it a slumpbuster as he was in the middle of this shit meat sandwich with the Father of the Bride movies: Grand Canyon, House Sitter, Leap of Faith, A Simple Twist of Faith (Mixed Nuts being the last movie before Father of the Bride II)

The cast is GIANT in terms of recognizable faces all the way down to Jon Stewart and Parker Posey being random rollerbladers. And use young stupid voiced Adam Sandler can go fuck himself.

The trans character that Curt references is played by Live Schreiber in what I am pretty sure is his first big role. The portrayal of the character does not age well at all. That alone wouldn’t prevent me from rewatching this as I am a person who can still watch Chris Benoit matches so my judgement might be different than others. The quality of the movie is what would prevent me from rewatching. I mean look at that RT score.
 

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RED CHRISTMAS (Craig Anderson, 2016)

(Not to be confused with the 2014 movie with the same name)

(Movie is on Amazon Prime)

IMDB : ROTTEN TOMATOES (48%/18%)

SELECTED BY @Travis Sheldon

I was having a bit of trouble finding a film that was easy to access, I finally settled on Red Christmas (2017), an Australian film that has some unique story elements for a xmas flick.

REVIEWED BY @odessasteps

Sorry, folks. This film was so awful . I don't even have the energy to write a caustic review.

The films focuses on a dysfunctional family at Xmas time, led by the matriarch played by horror vet Dee Wallace. During the festivities, a creepy stranger with a dark secret shows up at the door. After being thrown out, he comes back for revenge. 

For a black comedy sending up horror traditions, it wasn't very funny at all to me. But its the cringe/handheld cam style, which I personally really don't enjoy. It was gory enough in places, lots of dead bodies to be sure. And i guess some of the central topics are meant to be shocking (religion, abortion to name two). 

My apologies to the selector for a substandard review. Maybe next time. 

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I was going to nicely ask to not get a horror movie this time, but figured that was against the spirit of the project. 

Its funny you say that about Curt and I, as we will have an anecdote about this year's choices once everything is posted. 

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51 minutes ago, RIPPA said:

The cast is GIANT in terms of recognizable faces

Knowing this was a big downside to me, because I expected that someone (besides Madeline Kahn) would show up and boost the proceedings in some fashion. That never happened. It was almost like a bait-and-switch. 

As far as CRAIG ANDERSON'S (you aren't John Carpenter pal, you don't get to do that) Red Christmas, I might've enjoyed it more judging from the trailer but I'm doubtful. Both horror and comedy walk a fine line, what is good and isn't is hard to nail, and if you step on either side of that line in a way that doesn't work you will ruin an audience's opinion. This seems like a movie that could do either. I like bad horror sometimes but that is an even finer line to walk. 

I might watch a bonus just for fun tonight to get it off the DVR

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7 minutes ago, Execproducer said:

I don't want to turn it into the execproducer show but if someone can't meet their obligation, I can take on another review.

If @CSC still doesn't do his movie from last year, one of us is gonna have to do it

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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was gonna be a bonus. 

I think I'll like it, but watching the first 20 minutes of it made me feel overwhelmed. I'd like it reviewed but I don't think I can hack it. 

Anybody else, feel free

EDIT: And if I feel like it after I finish it then I will, I'd just like to review something I can get my mouth around, so to speak

Edited by Curt McGirt
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