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Secret Santo Holiday Season 2020


Matt D

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@Six String OrchestraAlways tricky with you because normally I'd grab a hidden gem for someone, but I'm never sure if you've seen the canonical stuff. So, for instance, if I'm going to have you see a Midnight Express match, I probably should be going with MX vs Southern Boys from July 90 or some MX vs RnR match, but instead I'm going to give you one of the biggest gems of the Houston collection, maybe the best MX vs Fantastics match. The heat is off the charts, plus it's maybe Cornette at his absolute best:

 

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On 1/9/2021 at 11:03 PM, moribund said:

I do want to apologize for my choice being more of a dud - like, I know it was badly flawed and Stan Lane would just completely botch the whole end of the match, but I was in the thrall of Bobby Eaton (that hiptoss on the concrete was when I decided to make that my offering this week) and thought you might end up enjoying it for much the same reason. 

No worries, it was good for exactly that. Plus, it's good to know no matter how much talent you have in the ring, you can still blow a finish like everybody else ? 

As far as matches for this run I just thought of comfort food, and since Matt has been doing his All Japan watching I figured I'd go for something pretty much the opposite of a Tenryu classic but in the same promotion. 

 

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Kenny Omega vs a 9 year old girl

First things first.  

This is every Big person little person match where the tiny person uses there speed and the big person uses their size/strength.

Kenny is pulling faces and selling through body language and disdain.  Haruka is selling like you would expect a rookie to sell, and the crowd and ref are doing their part.  The comebacks and hope spots are properly timed and while you don't think the 9 year old girl will beat the fully grown wrestler, you get the idea than in a decade or so shes gonna be great!

And in the end, Kenny's hubris and showboating cost him the match with a time limit draw, and the little girl gets her heat with the disrespect at the end.

This is a master class in working around expectations and limitations.  Also shows just how safe Kenny can be while still looking insanely stiff.

 

 

Invisible Man vs Invisible Stan.

This "match" is quite possibly the best example of post modern kayfave I have ever witnessed.  Bryce Remsberg and the crowd who played along and treated everything like there were two people going to work in the match deserve all the roses and kudos coz this had the potential to be vomit-shitting levels of bad.

Instead we have Bryce putting on an improv clinic and showing how a good ref can both add and take away from whats happening.  Out of context its dumb as hell, in context its fucking awesome.

The commentary puts it over the top.
Literally every part of the crew had to make this work and they do it amazingly.  This isn't gonna ever be a top matches of the decade or whatever.  What it is is a showcase for the often underappreciated parts of this the grandest form of sport and entertainment.

Even if you aren't into the "performative" aspects of modern wrestling, watch this.

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@NikoBaltimore I'm sending some more All Japan your way this round. While I am light on some of the intricacies of the promotion, I can relate some small amount of background about this match which features 3 of the Four Pillars of Heaven on one side in Misawa, Kobashi, and Taue. Opposite them are a trio of elders including the long standing ace of the promotion in Jumbo Tsuruta. The new generation is about to demand its due, and the old generation is not going to give up anything without being seriously surly about it. Someone is going to get some respect beaten into them by the end of the match...

 

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10 hours ago, moribund said:

@NikoBaltimore I'm sending some more All Japan your way this round. While I am light on some of the intricacies of the promotion, I can relate some small amount of background about this match which features 3 of the Four Pillars of Heaven on one side in Misawa, Kobashi, and Taue. Opposite them are a trio of elders including the long standing ace of the promotion in Jumbo Tsuruta. The new generation is about to demand its due, and the old generation is not going to give up anything without being seriously surly about it. Someone is going to get some respect beaten into them by the end of the match...

 

Excellent, I'm looking forward to checking this out.  I'll likely do like last time and watch while on the stationary bike because when things kicked in my fat ass was kicking it into high gear.

I know I sent you something random before but I may need a refresher on your blind spots.

Edited by NikoBaltimore
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6 hours ago, NikoBaltimore said:

I know I sent you something random before but I may need a refresher on your blind spots.

I'll narrow it down: Lucha or World of Sport would be dope, but I'll take just about anything with the exception of modern deathmatches (just something I feel like avoiding these days).

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On 1/12/2021 at 4:23 PM, moribund said:

I'll narrow it down: Lucha or World of Sport would be dope, but I'll take just about anything with the exception of modern deathmatches (just something I feel like avoiding these days).

@moribundI'll admit to not being much into lucha so hopefully this pick works.  But I do know that it was a pretty big deal when it happened so hopefully this works out for you.

 

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On 1/11/2021 at 2:04 PM, Curt McGirt said:

No worries, it was good for exactly that. Plus, it's good to know no matter how much talent you have in the ring, you can still blow a finish like everybody else ? 

As far as matches for this run I just thought of comfort food, and since Matt has been doing his All Japan watching I figured I'd go for something pretty much the opposite of a Tenryu classic but in the same promotion. 

 

Is a Dory match ever really comfort food? That's not fair. This is the best Dory, brawling, bloody, getting revenge for his brother Dory. Though even then, that Dory takes a little too much. Speaking of that realization, the pro wrestling truths you come to yourself are the ones that mean the most to you. For me, the key to understanding Terry in Japan is to realize that he was so much more selfless than everyone else around him in his selling. By selling huge and then being hugely resilient as opposed to just being stand-up tough like a Hansen or a Brody (or yeah, Dory here), he became a babyface foreigner, beloved by the crowd. He showed a sort of vulnerability that made him stand out and that's why he had cheerleaders and giant banners here.

This was the finals of the RWTL 79 and we opened with a montage of previous matches. A lot of Sheik and Abby running through guys, of Dos Caras missing key dives to lose (never Mil of course), of the Funks outwrestling people. It's basically 15-20 minutes of brawling with pomp at the start and pomp at the end. The crowd knows this is a big deal and they react accordingly, constantly chanting for Terry (or occasionally even Dory; my favorite moment of that is Dory unloading and getting a chant that turns immediately and seamlessly into a Terry one as he tags in). Watch how Terry moves in the first few minutes. Rarely will you see a wrestler who is propelled by the crowd noise as thoroughly as him. They're bringing the music and he's dancing a dance of violence to it. The blood comes in the first minute if not the first seconds. Abby's amazing here. He's unable to slow down the Funks using the usual methods (fork > head), so he adapts with Terry (fork > hand). Terry's hand becomes a bloody mess that he sells with every one of his own punches and that Abby is able to target to get out of holds. Brilliant pro wrestling. Of course, Sheik doesn't get the message and just goes for a camel clutch instead. Abby also hits a fall back torture rack drop by the way, just because. This ends with a glorious moment of heel miscommunication (and yes, they bring in an Abby vs Sheik match a few months later, good on them). There are a bunch of AJPW singles matches between Abby and Terry around this time that all end in BS and I imagine they're all pretty good.

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Kawada/Taue vs. The Patriot/Kobashi

This one starts big. Kawada and Kobashi have an initial lockup that quickly devolves into a few strikes, and right after that Kobashi busts out a Tiger suplex and a powerbomb right on the floor. Ooof. That's one way to assert dominance. All the same both of those only get a one-count off of Kawada. Del Wilkes smartly hits a spinebuster and shoves Taue off the apron for an immediate pin to no avail. I think Del is kind of out of his element. He doesn't know how to deal with Kawada, even though he's clearly at a disadvantage and is selling bigtime, and keeps tagging in Kobashi. If that's part of the story and not just covering up for him then good on them. Kenta is clearly insane because he takes a Saito suplex on his head -- not his neck, directly on the crown of his skull -- on a HOUSE SHOW. This is not the behavior of a normal wrestler, much less a regular person. This is all just to set up a hot tag to Taue mind you. Del is a good corner guy, pounding on the buckles, instigating the ref, breaking up pins. If there's anything I remember from his brief WWF run as a kid it's his very broad selling and he also gives us that here. Not hard to when Kawada's kicking you, of course... Taue takes him outside, Kobashi tries to interfere and Taue slings him offscreen into an incredibly loud crash into the rail that your imagination makes look really nasty. They smartly work over Del's arm enough to allow Kobashi to come back and make it the Three (of Four) Pillars match they want it to be. But then, to my surprise (or maybe not considering who has to eat the pin) Del comes back into the equation after Kobashi gets beat up, does his Fighting Spirit Hulk Up, and gets the tag again. Del's arm it too busted up and while Kawada keeps the pink-clad one at bay Taue murders him with chokeslams for the three. 

This was really fun and an interesting twist on a formula we've seen with a significantly more high-profile participant. Patriot did looked pretty smoked in the offense department but held up his end of the bargain and even threw some stiff shots at the very end of the match. Kobashi was clearly the most over of everyone in this very quiet setting, and it's no wonder he kept doing the Hulk Up because it got such a big response. Kawada's selling was off the charts in the beginning and Taue is always good as the wall that everyone slams into eventually. Solid match. 

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On 1/11/2021 at 10:44 AM, Morganti said:

 

@El Gran Gordienjoy one of @Greggulator's favorite matches!  I'll get my reviews up tomorrow!

Well, obviously I enjoyed this.

It's been a crazy week, so it's just as well you didn't give me the one hour Delirious vs Punk match. I barely found time to watch this one.

These two teams had a re-match on RAW about 5 months after their NXT match, and the basic beats are very very very similar. That's OK by me. I have seen various iterations of Kuishinbo Kamen vs Ebessan (both the Kikutaro/Original version and the third version - where the character was played by drinking buddy Osamu). I have enjoyed it every single time. I want them to do all of the classic spots every time. If I had been able to see Abbott and Costello live, I'd obviously have wanted them to do "Who's on First?"

Anyway, since I'm swamped for time this week, here's my review of the RAW match from 2014, which @Matt Dgave me (along with a Les Kellett match) in the earlier version of this project:

 

Summer Rae and Fandango vs Emma and Santino

This was absolutely charming. A genuine happy surprise. 

This is from an era when I was watching close to zero WWE. I still followed along halfheartedly by reading recaps and lurking on discussion boards. (I was mostly hoping to read that they'd done something good with Bryan Danielson so that I could seek that out and watch it).

This was around the time that my beloved Osaka Pro was staring to peter out, and I can remember reading about Emma becoming one of the most popular wrestlers on NXT by adopting a "clumsy dancer" gimmick and kind of hoping that stuff like that would at least keep the spirit of Osaka Pro alive... but I also remember having so little faith in WWE that I couldn't even be bothered to check it out for myself.

So I went into watching this with only the vaguest of notions about who these wrestlers were. And the pre-match and the entrances, did a pretty much perfect job of laying it all out for me. Fandango and Summer Rae dance each other to the ring. They are absolutely gorgeous, and they move with utmost grace and in perfect sync. Oh, how I loathe them, Then Emma comes out,  doing that awkward dance I'd read about, and she is just adorable. And they announce her partner, and the fans blow the roof off of the place. They are so happy to see Santino! 

In perfect juxtaposition with the grace and timing of Fandango and Summer Rae, Emma and Santino cannot sync up their entrances at all, at first, and then when they finally do hit their stride it is just ridiculous enough to be cute. They even struggle (charmingly) to get into the ring, and by the time the match has started I am all the way into seeing these two lovable goofs taking it to their beautiful and arrogant opponents. 

I love when there is synergy between a wrestler's look, gimmick, and style.  Consider Rick Rude. The too-handsome face with the lush mullet and mustache, the unrealistically ripped abs, the arrogant body language, the hip-swivel taunt... He looked like a guy who would make you look bad in front of your girlfriend just for laughs... and he absolutely acted that way and wrestled that way, as well. Everything worked together. The whole was greater than the sum of its parts.

This match is a modern master-class in that type of thinking. Fandango is sexy enough and moves well enough to justify his arrogance... but he is also just goofy and over-the-top enough that it doesn't seem impossible that Santino could get the upper hand on him. Santino looks like enough of a regular awkward guy to serve as an audience surrogate, but he looks just muscular and fit enough that it is somewhat believable to see him competing in a pro wrestling ring. Summer Rae and Emma are both beautiful fit blondes... but Emma is just goofy and charming enough to seem approachable and likable. Summer Rae carries herself as the exact opposite of approachable and likable. 

And right from the beginning...  from before the beginning, right from the introductions, everything they do is based around the juxtaposition of these easily-understandable characters. Fandango smoothly ascends to the top turnbuckle to taunt the crowd. Santino almost falls over. and so on. It's lovely. I had a big grin on my face the whole time watching this.

Another thing I love in pro wrestling is when something patently absurd is treated with such po-faced seriousness that they are able to get the crowd to totally suspend their disbelief. (examples: The Heart Punch, The Undertaker, Hurricane Helms, Mr. Socko) and obviously The Cobra takes its inspiration from the last of those. And while damn near everything in this match is played for laughs, The Cobra is treated as an important thing and a real threat throughout. That also works to get laughs, but it simultaneously sets up the finish, which pops the crowd and brings them to their feet.

They did a fine job avoiding any of the potential unpleasantness that comes with a mixed tag match. Summer Rae hit Santino with a couple of nice sneak attacks, but there was no "turn about is fair play" payback spot or anything that might have taken the fun out of things for me.

I kind of have the feeling that if they ran this match today we'd be expected to cheer for Fandango and Summer for being so beautiful and talented, and to boo Santino and Emma for being less than perfect and cool. (I get this feeling because of reading about things like face Lacey and heel Bayley). I feel like WWE have possibly lost the thread there. The "Revenge of the Nerds" dynamic of this match was really enjoyable. It's very nice to see the weirdos come out on top once in a while. 

It's probably worth noting that @Eiviondisagreed with my last paragraph back when I first posted this. 

 

Edited by El Gran Gordi
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Well, I'm two weeks behind for review, but haven't given Octopus his match for last week yet (and haven't had one from him either), so....

Actually, thinking about @Octopus here you go:

Silver & Reynolds vs Bear Country!

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5 hours ago, El Gran Gordi said:

It's probably worth noting that @Eiviondisagreed with my last paragraph back when I first posted this. 

That is because what you heard about face Lacey & heel Bayley at the time was kind of wrong if I recall correctly. You also have the reality that weirdo comedy characters in WWE are generally faces while arrogant pretty people are typically heels.

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Ok, last week for us now. Smelly's out. Since I don't want to deal with an uneven number, Six String Orchestra is going to sit too since we haven't heard from him. @Octopus has been AWOL too but he's good for it eventually, so here's what we'll do. Since this is the last one, just get it done as soon as you can. It doesn't have to be next week.

NikoBaltimore
Octopus

Curt McGirt
AxB

Matt D
El Gran Gordi

moribund
Morganti

@El Gran Gordi, this is what you need in your life this week:

 

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 Oh boy, I really am behind. Time to get liquored up and watch some wrestling. Apologies to my friends on here, didn’t mean to blow you all off. Work and Derpin.

 

The Fabulous Freebirds vs Von Erich’s and Iceman King Parsons: 

recommended by the legendary @Smelly McUgly

 

Normally I’m a more a fan of matches with commentary, but with how unbelievably pumped this crowd is, I think this is better without it. Just laying on my couch I realize I’m wiggling my legs in excitement. All that happened is the good guys got all grabby and pushy and the Freebirds fled the ring. The crowd screaming, that’s all I need. I’m pumped up. Get ‘em, Iceman! Go on, get ‘em!

Michael Hayes’ strut selling is always a plus. As is anything Terry Gordy. I’ll be honest though, I’m ignorant on most of the Von Erich’s, so I’ll just say their trunk colors. Yellow Von Erich got his fight in early walking around Hayes, but the heart of the match came from him getting his beatings. After Red Von Erich won a Punch off with Gordy and Iceman Icemaned, it was up to Yellow to keep the momentum for his team, poor fella got picked apart. 

Great camera work on the close hot tags. Gordy pulling back Yellow’s neck as Yellow’s fingers were inches away from Red’s. Freebirds run in and ref misses the tag. Ref misses a second tag. Freebirds jump in to cheat but the ref stops Red. Wrestling is great. I Iceman finally gets the tag and it becomes an all out brawl. The good guys will clearly win, but Buddy gets an illegal punch in (I assume illegal?) and Terry gets the pin. Wrestling is great.

Thanks Smelly! That was fun, I’ve seen very little Freebirds and I’m going to seek out more.

 

Minoru Suzuki vs Tomohiro Ishii:

Recommended by @El Gran Gordi

 

What happens when an irresistible force meets the legendary love child of Mr Sinister and Fujiwara? You get some good slaps and light crowd play. I was pretty excited to watch these two murder each other and I’m very happy I did. The early goings of the match played up Ishii’s brawling and Suzuki’s stretching. But throughout the match it was such a delight to see Minoru have such fun working the crowd and messing with the ref. Suzuki doesn’t need to be constantly peaking apart body parts, he can just stand there and smile and he’s an intimidating man.

Mid match has Suzuki working over Ishii’s leg. It became more apparent that it wasn’t fully as a method to force a submission, but to make Tomohiro unbalanced so Suzuki could easily work over his head. Ishii fights back and we get a second strike segment. Suzuki being the sick animal is enjoying it.

The endgame was very much the struggle to pull off the finisher. Ishii kept successfully using his weight to fight out of the Gotch Piledriver and Minoru would use sly veteran tactics to delay a sitting closeline. Ishii is eventually successful and then brainbusters Suzuki after a series of mean slaps to his face. 

——

rec time:

@AxB, ima give you this:

Stunning Steve Austin vs Dustin Rhodes. 

This is technically last week, so no worries if you don’t have time for this and your one this week. My bad, bud. You’re a cool dude and sorry to drop the ball for ya.

@NikoBaltimore, you degenerate radical you. Gonna give you...

Degeneration X vs The Radicalz

 

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