Wrestling Sleaze: A Final Word

[OSJ]

I am not a Mod nor do I play one on TV, I retired from the position some years ago after banning all the jackwagons that irritated me. Anyway, the real Mods may opt to delete this or PM me telling me to shut my yap, whatever. I am dead tired of reading the nonsense in what is in danger of becoming the new Sleaze Thread.  

May I just suggest that anyone that wants to read more of this sort of thing, just Google "Wrestling Sleaze Thread" it's been archived in several places. BTW: I can say from first and second hand knowledge (stuff told me by people in the biz that would have no reason to lie about it) that about 50% of the stuff is for reals. Wrestling is no scummier than any other business, it's simply a matter of being under a more high-powered microscope. 

When you have a smaller more insular fanbase as does wrestling, information both true and false travels a lot quicker to the entire fanbase. You can be a professional baseball player and be a total piece of scum, but only those most rabid of fans will hear about it, the rest of the audience will just blissfully applaud your homeruns and batting average no matter how many times you beat your girlfriend senseless. In wrestling, one guy sends a dick pic to a fan, the whole world knows about it in 24 hrs. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Now lets talk about how Pete Dunne is the best wrestler in the world not named Tanahashi.

[Burgundy LaRue]

(taps microphone)

As best I know, I'm one of four women and only Black woman on the board. By all means correct me if I'm wrong on that. The point being as a super minority on DVDVR, I have different perspectives on wrestling and the world at large. Because being both Black and a woman, my identity intersects a plane entirely different from most here.

I come on the board, read posts by the majority White men here, and it's obvious many of you don't have a clue about what any woman thinks, let alone a Black woman or woman of color. So I try to provide insight, to show a prism that someone who is the polar opposite for most here looks through. To provide a voice for a group woefully under-represented in wrestling (as that's the original point of DVDVR). 

I don't expect to be applauded for doing that. But I don't appreciate the online psychoanalysis of how I hate White men and I'm obsessed with this wrestler/that promotion/seeing problems that don't really exist. Some were apparently shocked that I would disagree with you or question your position. Because you're so entrenched in your often White, hetero, cis male world where you're always in control, even the idea of someone outside that realm challenging you was an affront. 

It's not a problem exclusive to DVDVR. It's all over wrestling. A woman of any color gets questioned. But as soon as many learn a Black woman is giving an opinion, out come the passive-aggressive remarks and not-so-subtle misogynoir. Dealing with either racism or sexism alone is bad. But fighting both is what I have to do every day of my life.

And I like to think that I could come here as a place away from all the world's pressure. But who we are doesn't change just because we're shooting the breeze over a comedy skit on RAW. We carry who we are wherever we go. Good and bad. And the fight to have my existence count for something rolls on, even over the most mundane things.

All this to say is I read what was being said in the Wrestling Abuse thread. And I wish I was angry or even disappointed. But I've seen it too many times. You're so fixated on the possible 2% of women who MAY lie about sexual abuse. You're not thinking that for every story being told this weekend, there are 4-5 we will never hear. Because the system--designed by White men--doesn't allow for victim survivors to be heard. To receive justice. Everyone asks why women don't report this to the police. We have someone in this very thread doing the 'well actually' routine for Matt Riddle. THAT'S WHY. Riddle doesn't need any of us providing a defense for him. If that's happening on a message board where nothing is at stake, imagine trying to convince someone in power to empathize. 

I can almost guarantee that in a year, this movement will be archived with women who dared to speak up mysteriously not getting booked, while many of the accused will do business as usual. Because the majority White patriarchy will keep the wheels spinning. And women will still barely be spokes on said wheel. Wrestling is still a good ol' boys' club with White men continuing to wield the most power. Be it in the actual business or on a message board.

I can't help but think a lot of the attitudes surrounding the Speaking Out movement connects to Black Lives Matter. That only by walking out in front of your car, blocking roads, and tearing down statues that shouldn't have been put up in the first place are you willing to listen. Even then, it's conditional. You'll return to ignore after these fine messages of how proud you are of those who speak the truth. But you won't be back after the commercial.

What am I as a woman, specifically a Black woman, supposed to do? Even when I try to explain my position calmly, it's met with patronizing insincerity. If I yell, I'm then the angry Black woman you'll claim frightens you when I hold zero power in any situation outside of what I create for myself. And I didn't create this vicious cycle of abuse and questioning said abuse. And why do so many of you insist of keeping together the destructive system that allows it? Because ultimately, it serves you pretty well. All because of your biological gender and skin color.

It's exhausting. And I'm tired of telling my story. It's not even a good story, anyway.

[jaedmc]

Thanks Burgandy for that post. It's important to hear those perspectives. I'm not locking this thread because of your post, which I think valuable - I wish it was in the other thread, but that's not your fault. I'm locking it because I locked the other thread and OSJ doesn't get special treatment just because he wants to have the final word on something.