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AEW Dynamite - 5/13/2020


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42 minutes ago, caley said:

-complaining about Tiger Style because it’s never won a match, then praising a move in a later match and Tony throwing it right back at him

I was listening to his podcast a couple months ago and he was complaining about how nobody would use a back rake in a real fight and how he doesn't like to call things that are obviously fake and I knew immediately he had a huge bug up his ass about Ortiz. One day when this run is over, he's for sure gonna go off on him during a podcast after Conrad makes JR watch an AEW show. 

Edited by West Newbury Bad Boy
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Not a week goes by with Statlander where JR doesn’t say something awkward about her body.  I genuinely don’t think he means any harm, but he is completely incapable of giving words to whatever it is he sees in her physicality.

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JR is always going to compare someone to a football player or some bullshit like that. He always has. If not that, he's comparing their toughness to a cheap steak or how ugly a match is to a bowling shoe. I honestly don't mind it and I doubt many of the women mind it either. If they did, I would imagine Tony would have said something to JR by now because that type of shit doesn't seem like it would fly in AEW.

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The buyrate for DoN is going to be really interesting. AEW plays it smart by spacing their PPVs so far apart that I could see them still coming close to or cracking 100k buys. Hell, UFC did a shitload of buys for UFC 249 in an empty auditorium so I don't buy the argument that people won't pay money to see an empty arena PPV. If the build is good enough and the fans are hungry enough for a big show then they'll pay to see it.

On the other hand, ratings are lower than what they were for Revolution so maybe that's going to have an impact on PPV buys.

All I know is, after last night, I'm more likely to order the PPV again. And honestly, my biggest concern with the PPV isn't even the empty arena. It's how fucking shitty B/R Live is. It was a fucking shitshow to use it last time. Even with using Chromecast I couldn't rewind or start from the beginning if I was casting from my phone. The only way I could was if I started it in a browser window on my computer and casted that to my TV in my basement where my computer is at. That worked fine, but I would have to run back to the computer to rewind or pause or whatever.

B/R Live fucking sucks.

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The buyrate is going to be bad. I would be shocked if it's close to what they normally do. As you say, their TV ratings are down from their norm  and a lot of people feel like half of wrestling is crowd interaction and responses when it's free, much less paying for it. None of my friends or I are watching the empty arena shows.

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17 hours ago, Dewar said:

 

I would love to know the thought process behind Cody with the truck, because it was lame as fuck, and extremely sports entertainy.

I can’t decide if it was worse than the throne smash cringefest 

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On Dark, Isiah Cassidy seemed to have gained a little muscle. He wasn't like Ospreay levels of quarantine jacked, but he looked bigger.

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1 hour ago, West Newbury Bad Boy said:

I was listening to his podcast a couple months ago and he was complaining about how nobody would use a back rake in a real fight and how he doesn't like to call things that are obviously fake and I knew immediately he had a huge bug up his ass about Ortiz. One day when this run is over, he's for sure gonna go off on him during a podcast after Conrad makes JR watch an AEW show. 

Whenever JR goes back to WWE (I assume it happens at some point because he still seems to pine for it, and I can't imagine AEW will continue to throw money at him now that they're fairly established and everyone loves Tony all over again; and I could see WWE doing a Legends deal or some such for him to come back), IF he gets to do any announcing, I wonder how many little petty grievances he'll "Sneak" (I put that in brackets cuz his commentary is not exactly subtle) into his WWE commentary at AEW's expense.

Also, Sammy's bump on the Twist of Fate was GNARLY.  Almost every week he posts a clip of something he did on AEW with the caption "I'm still alive".  That one this week looked like it just about killed him.

I  don't think anyone expected Darby or Sammy to be this good, this soon, hence why both are mostly spinning their wheels waiting for some real feuds/pushes.  I think they'd be much more entertaining feuding over the TNT title, while Cody and Archer really don't need the belt to enhance their feud.

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- Darby eventually relents and lets Tazz mentor him.

- They finally sign Sting and Sting undercuts him as Darby's mentor as payback for Tazz mentoring Joe in their TNA feud.

- Joe eventually gets released from WWE and then attempts to get Darby to turn on Sting because everyone else has by this point.

- COVID continues to escalate, cancelling all programming. AEW is now a reboot of Full House, with Joe as Dave Coulier, Sting as Bob Saget, Tazz as a wildly miscast John Stamos, and Darby as one of the Olsens. Tazz plays the drums for Kokomo and chokes out Brian Wilson.

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What were they thinking with that Cody entrance? He revs it up, oh what’s happening, oh he’s interrupting his promo, that’s all. No wait, he’s gonna... HE’S GONNA... HE’S GONNA drive it into a bucket. 
 

why was there a camera IN THE TRUCK? They have half a second of footage from it, which was Cody is driving the truck. As if the big logo on the front wasn’t a giveaway. And he just gets out... and walks to the ring. I had to laugh. It was actually quite embarrassing. It was one of those WWE things that make no sense, and you put it down to too many cooks coming up with all these different ideas and in the end there’s a camera in the truck and nobody knows why, and then he drives the truck 10 yards and nobody knows why, then he just gets out and walks. And he’s taped his fists up, cuz he’s prepared for a dust up, but yet he still wore a nice crisp white shirt and trousers.
 

I just need some answers. 

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Ok I think might have it. Cody and Tony Khan having a chat earlier in the week. 
 

“Tony, I have this great idea. I bring my new car up to the show, cuz I got my tattoo on the front of it and-“

”you got your tattoo on your car?”

”yeah and get this. We have a camera inside so I can do my acting and stuff. You know I was in Arrow.”

”hold on a second. Where were you when Jake Roberts was humping your wife in the ring last week?”

”coming up with this idea. So Jake Roberts is doing his promo and you can hear this engine revving, cuz my car is loud. Really loud. So cool. So I’m revving up the engine, then I drive it through all the barricades down to the ring and kick Archer’s ass! Huh? How about that?!”

”uh... yep. That’s great”

then as the show is beginning, Tony has some reservations. 

“Listen, Code, thing is, last week Sammy got run over by a giant golf cart and I think we should lay off the vehicular man slaughter for, oh I dunno, 2 weeks of television?”

”oh but Toonneeee, I brought my car all the way here and it’s really loud and my wife thinks I’m cool.”

”how about... you just rev the engine a little bit, then get out all steamed and start whooping Archer?”

”just rev the engine? No way, man. I gotta smash stuff up, like a badass, it could be my Steve Austin zamboni moment. I gotta smash stuff up”

”well... uh... run over that bucket”

”DEAL!”

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Cody bought a new truck, had his Nightmare Family logo put on the bonnet, and then decided it looked so fucking cool that it had to be on TV.

So any chance that a future faction feud in AEW is actually The Elite vs The Nightmare Family? 

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1 hour ago, Mr Harms said:

”hold on a second. Where were you when Jake Roberts was humping your wife in the ring last week?”

”coming up with this idea.

Laughed a lot at this. TYB.

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Dug the hell out of this episode.

I actually like the Shida promo, it's real sports like in the sense that you can tell she's trying to gather herself for her response and the odd lack of emotion behind it because she's using her brain to remember the words. Nyla with the kendo stick was great. And I'd like to count myself among the non-creep Shida fans.

JR always sounds so confused when he's trying to describe the physical characteristics of women, if he said it with some confidence, it would probably come off better, like we know Stantlander is bigger than most of the other women, it's ok. 

I wouldn't have figured Ford to be JR's type, but every time she's on screen, he's like a dog in heat. Excalibur should give him grief about it every time.

Speaking of, JR giving Tony shit about Britt is hilarious every time since Tony makes sure to clarify that's his friend. ?

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I was all set to shit on JR for being way too into dudes' bodies again this week (he was really preoccupied with discussing Jungle Boy and P&P "filling out"), but then I spent the Jericho/Pineapple Pete match just totally weirded out by Suge's Giant Baba-like build, unable to focus on anything else, so I can't throw stones.  ?  

I won't dwell on Ross' other miscues (general grossness w/r/t women and shitting on Tiger Style) because it's been done already in the thread.  Dude needs to get over that "I don't like putting things over that wouldn't work in a fight" shit, though.  I've never seen a stunner, figure four leglock, or irish whip into the ropes in a real fight, either.

Looking forward to the wackiness of the Stadium Stampede

I agree whole heartedly that Cody pulling up in his truck, gunning the engine for what seemed like an hour, only to gently nudge some strategically-placed debris, was really lame.  Cody's Sunday Best gear is really not in line with whatever that gimmick was supposed to be.  Dress like Flair but try to act like Austin?  No.  This shit really doesn't help the arguments over a lot of this shit somehow not being booked to satisfy Cody's ego.

Great job by the announcers covering for a babyface pinning a babyface with outside heel interference in the Friends/Jurassic match.  Likewise another good one covering for the interference in the main ("nobody touched the participants").  Really great attention to detail.

Still waiting for Moxley to graduate from his awful 2008 indies "imitating Heath Ledger from Dark Knight" delivery.

Santana and Ortiz remain my somewhere around my top five acts in the company.  So glad they're back.

I feel like Daniels got maybe a smidge too much offense, but I only feel that way because they have a very short time to build Lee as a contender.

 

 

 

Edited by Technico Support
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10 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

The Stadium Stampede just reminded me of a WWE Cinematic Match that nobody here has mentioned yet: the Mankind/Rock match that happened during halftime of the Super Bowl. Jericho's gotta hit somebody with a bag of popcorn.

"MILD?!" That line from the Rock and the popcorn shot still make me crack up.

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20 hours ago, caley said:

It was the lamest thing in wrestling this week.  If he had driven it through a bunch of barricades etc. But he drove it like ten feet and gingerly knocked over one barricade in order to protect his truck from getting dented. That whole angle with Jake Roberts going from guy who has a grudge against Cody and his family to old-timey chauvinist who gets sexually aroused watching Archer matches went all kinds of sideways over the last week.  

-I think the Darby-Tazz stuff is wrong-headed.  Part of Darby’s appeal is his mystery; I don’t wanna know about his college wrestling acumen.  If he’s not able to be there, just let him tape some more of those B&W vignettes. 

Absolutely, if Taz had even a shred of his 'One Man Crime Spree' gimmick this might have some weight.  Taz, the goofy commentator, should be of no interest to our loveable loner Derby.  If Taz is a heel here, sure, and somebody pointing out how dumb Darby was (made to look) is fine.  But said person, or Taz, should be beaten mercilessly for talking out of turn like that.    

And spot on with the Jake Roberts analysis.  
 

12 hours ago, Technico Support said:

I was all set to shit on JR for being way too into dudes' bodies again this week (he was really preoccupied with discussing Jungle Boy and P&P "filling out"), but then I spent the Jericho/Pineapple Pete match just totally weirded out by Suge's Giant Baba-like build, unable to focus on anything else, so I can't throw stones.  ?  

I agree whole heartedly that Cody pulling up in his truck, gunning the engine for what seemed like an hour, only to gently nudge some strategically-placed debris, was really lame.  Cody's Sunday Best gear is really not in line with whatever that gimmick was supposed to be.  Dress like Flair but try to act like Austin?  No.  This shit really doesn't help the arguments over a lot of this shit somehow not being booked to satisfy Cody's ego.

Still waiting for Moxley to graduate from his awful 2008 indies "imitating Heath Ledger from Dark Knight" delivery.

There it is.  More so he's just not prepared.  I know Jon loves his creative freedom, but his casual take on doing promos is shining thru.  

I have no problem with a well dressed asskicker.  But yes indeed that was a hilarious misfire.  Special thanks to @Mr Harms for the creative team renactment.  

Suge's Giant Baba build - spot on!  I was so happy when Jericho's back elbow made short work of that 'fruit booty'.

The JR hate is in full effect here this week.  I do not align myself with this hate brigade.  Never been a huge fan of JR to begin with, but I generally have liked him because I can mostly ignore him.  Some of the points raised that go against the product are exaggerated to support an argument.  The Penelope Ford thing is just funny to me.  That said, and obviously I don't know there working situation, but Tony Khan would be wise to work a bit closer with Old JR to make some positive changes and bring him into the year 2020.  Considering he's been doing all of what's being complained about since the beginning, this is on management.  

Edited by HarryArchieGus
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2 hours ago, HarryArchieGus said:

Tony Khan would be wise to work a bit closer with Old JR to make some positive changes and bring him into the year 2020.  Considering he's been doing all of what's being complained about since the beginning, this is on management.  

It hit me this morning that Ross, even though he's said some dumb stuff about the women in his tenure, has miraculously avoided saying something uncomfortable about Nyla Rose.  This gives me the impression that someone has definitely given him at least one strict line he can't cross.  That someone needs to give him a few more.  I don't need to hear how Statlander is built like a fucking linebacker.  Jesus Christ.

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JR the crank I like, JR the 'unsure where the line is these days' pervy old man I can do without. On his most recent pod about Dr Death you can tell he hears the criticism of how much he talks about bodies, men and women. I think it's cool if he wants to say Jungle Boy is filling out, I thought the same thing, but he should stay away from the ladies. If nothing else, it grosses out female viewers (or at least the ones I talked to which is two).

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