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Straight-up Squash Matches


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I tend to prefer this kind of straight up squash to the "guys behaving unprofessionally" type. Regardless,I appreciate everyone who has participated in this thread. This, the clubbering thread, Secret Santo, Dean's wrestling machines thread... all of those helped me get through some pretty strange times over the last couple of months. I am sure I'm not the only one.

 

Cheers!

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On 5/29/2020 at 5:43 PM, Southside Jim said:

Yeah, but that name: "The Widowmaker."

 

That was the first time I was like "why the fuck can't he just be 'Barry Windham?'"


And, of course, within a month of his debut he was simply "The Widowmaker" and no mention was made of Barry Windham.

I liked "The Widowmaker" as a nickname. Hated it when they basically just started calling him that and dropping his real name. Just think though, if he'd have come up nowadays, they'd have dropped the nickname and just called him "Barry" or "Windham". Actually knowing WWE, they'd make him go by his middle name, "Clinton" and try to make Bill Clinton jokes and skits for him to be in.

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8 hours ago, cwoy2j said:

I liked "The Widowmaker" as a nickname. Hated it when they basically just started calling him that and dropping his real name. Just think though, if he'd have come up nowadays, they'd have dropped the nickname and just called him "Barry" or "Windham". Actually knowing WWE, they'd make him go by his middle name, "Clinton" and try to make Bill Clinton jokes and skits for him to be in.

They could've gone for the simple alliteration. Widowmaker Windham.

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On 5/13/2020 at 9:05 AM, BobbyWhioux said:

I could go on and on (and have) about how Yoko is probably my favorite squash guy, partly because of his capacity to make it literal
 


here he is against the future Justin Credible and, what I like about this, besides getting to see Yoko work in all his Could-Have-Been-Finishers to complete the Technical Merit score on his Short Program, is the way he -- being in the buildup to a PPV title bout with Hogan -- goes from his belly to belly into his legdrop as quickly as his frame will allow.  He's imitating Hogan. Sadly the McMahon/Savage/Heenan team is too deep into shtick and shilling to point it out, but squash matches are wonderful opportunities to work in little impressions and parodies like this without it looking too much like breaking character or immersion. Over a month of weekly squash match heavy TV, super card opponents are taking turns fucking with each other, via the jobber, so that it's not just time filler.  "I know how to your move."  or "This guy's as big as you and I'm gonna throw him around like he's nothing."  Stuff like that.

I think there's one or two from this period where Yoko just finishes the match after the legdrop, though I'm still not finding them.

Even in a squash match, sequence matters and there's a chapter of a story to be told.  It's not just getting your shit in under the 3 minute wire.  And I like when guys remember that

This rules. I remember really paying attention to Yoko's squash matches as a kid, which let's be real, not a lot of squashes were memorable. Honestly the Banzai Drop is underrated in the all-time list of finishers. That shit looks like death, but everyone I have heard talk about Yoko says he was actually an incredibly safe guy to work with. Yoko's belly-to-belly is insane too. I've been down a nostalgia rabbit hole the last week, and all the "so uh... a Samoan is playing a Japanese sumo wrestler huh" stuff aside, I really like the way Yokozuna was built up as a totally unique character. The way for weeks no one could even knock him off his feet, into the crazy (for WWF in 1993) angle with Duggan where he finally gets knocked down then destroys him with 4 banzai drops, draping the US flag over him, and a Duggan stretcher job with him coughing up blood, into winning the Royal Rumble, and then beating Bret Hart.

I'm not counting skinny ass no-roid Hogan coming in after that. As Bobby the Brain always warned us, Hogan is no good.

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  • 2 weeks later...

We could all use a good laugh and I was reminded of this. Buddy Lee Parker was dressed up like a leprechaun with vampire teeth for... some reason? And squashes, of all people, Ricky Fucking Morton. Dusty is in rarest form here and if you don't laugh at every single thing that comes out of his mouth then you might be clinically dead. 

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Is that really Ricky Morton? It says Todd Morton who was his cousin but it sure looks like Ricky lol! And the crowd chanted Rock n Roll.

Not bad work there by Buddy Lee. A jump from the top top rope to the floor! Also a pretty tough bump by Morton before that.

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11 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

We could all use a good laugh and I was reminded of this. Buddy Lee Parker was dressed up like a leprechaun with vampire teeth for... some reason? And squashes, of all people, Ricky Fucking Morton. Dusty is in rarest form here and if you don't laugh at every single thing that comes out of his mouth then you might be clinically dead. 

I'm sure Tony and Dusty wouldn't mix up Ricky and Todd Morton. Pretty sure Todd was a regular job guy around that time.

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Todd was a regular job guy which is why people would know him from Ricky even though they look alike. I still could be wrong but I’ll be danged if that’s not Ricky against Braun and Todd here against Dean. Todd has a few pounds on Ricky and his hair is a little scruffier. They also don’t show his face in the Braun match. I mean I guess Ricky has done worse than lose a squash to Buddy Lee in a squash lol! Meanwhile WCW wasn’t good at everything but they were good at pulling cute stunts like this. The Rock n Roll Express did pop back up not long after this to if you remember. But Idk...

Edited by BloodyChamp
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JTTS vs JTTS matches are a special kind of niche treat. In my opinion, this match features four of the top five WWF JTTS vs JTTS guys (Koko being the other one - though I'm almost certainly forgetting somebody). Also in my opinion each guy has at least one moment that shows why they were one of the top jobbers of their time but also a moment where they show why they were never more than that in the WWF. (Check out the "elevation" that Casey gets on his cross-body, for one example, and the nice bump-and-sell that Lombardi takes on the follow-up hip-toss for another). Also, you get near-peak meandering Bruno on commentary.

 

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By the matted beard of Saturn, the debut of the Ding Dongs was such a clusterfudge of wrongness, it transcends itself and then implodes back into a total embarrassment. Bumping on those loose bells has gotta be worse than a thumbtack.

 

I would have popped bigly for T,he Hunchbacks, though. Thank you for these two things and nothing else, Mr. Herd.

- in an hour back GET IT,

RAF

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  • 2 months later...
On 6/10/2020 at 6:28 AM, AxB said:

Shootstyle squash. Poor Tatsuo Nakano.

 

As I've said elsewhere, if you squint it looks like Bill Dundee vs Vader with the hottest Memphis crowd ever.

This is a fun squash for Dusty in 1980 MSW (not yet at the Irish McNeil Boys' Club), giving Frank Dusek just enough offense to make things interesting for a few moments.

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On 5/27/2020 at 9:16 AM, Curt McGirt said:

EDIT: Oooo, in the comments someone says the first part that got bleeped is "squatted, dropped the dog and bit the cord. She bit the cord". Which makes sense. Anyone know what the rest of it is? 

 

 

this reminds me of a story Cornette told on one of the early episodes of his Drive Thru podcast where The Midnights had a match against Buzz and someone else and at one point Buzz slapped Cornette across the face causing his nose to bleed which pissed Cornette off so he started hitting him in the head with the edge of the racket. After the match the Midnights are in a trailer that was being used as a change room and Buzz comes in mad about what Cornette did and they get in a yelling match while, Cornette claims, Dennis Condrey was reaching into his bag where he kept his gun. After throwing some shit around Buzz, a "drug fucked mental deficient" according to Cornette, goes to stomp off but he falls down the steps of the trailer to the ground.

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