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Dolfan Watches Every Wrestlemania On Lockdown


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16 minutes ago, Curt McGirt said:

Had to look up whether Mil Mascaras even wrestled for WWF and apparently he not only broke the mask ban at MSG but also fought with Superstar Graham over the title. I guess he does belong in the HOF. 

They at least keep flirting with the idea of it being a true pro wrestling hall of fame.

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Tyson is definitely more deserving than a lot of the celebrity inductees (though, being a convicted rapist makes it rather gross) 

I mean, Drew Carey did a comedy spot at a random Rumble that drew approximately zero dollars.

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22 hours ago, Brian Fowler said:

Tyson is definitely more deserving than a lot of the celebrity inductees (though, being a convicted rapist makes it rather gross) 

I mean, Drew Carey did a comedy spot at a random Rumble that drew approximately zero dollars.

The 2001 Royal Rumble is a top 5 Rumble of all time. I put that down to 3 things - Kane, Honky Tonk Man & Drew Carey.

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DAY 87

Like him or hate him, John Cena's career has been... polarizing.  I don't think there's a serious argument that can be made that John Cena is not a legitimate, all-time great talent.  Charismatic, excellent promo, terrific worker, generous as an opponent, and 'genetics' (enhanced or not) that gave him a great look. The fact is, that John became a fan favorite when he was telling people to suck on his nuts.  Then he became champ and it became fun to boo him. However, along the way, a significant number of people mistook the fun of booing him for thinking he was untalented and was going over because he was being 'pushed down our throats.'  I, myself, am guilty of this.  

That's not to say there weren't problems with the John Cena character.  Constantly being booked as an underdog when you're literally holding the stage prop that says "I am the best at this" does not parse.  There were times when he went over when he absolutely should not have.  And there were times when he lost, where he should have learned  a valuable lesson, or at least absorbed the loss and changed because of it.   Therein lies the issue.  

I'd say a significant number of people equated the character with the man behind the character and only relatively recently with time and distance has that changed.  

I say all of this, because you can almost literally find "John Cena" in all those paragraphs and replace them with "The Rock."  So when he came back after being gone for several years to host WrestleMania, he could do no wrong. He told the audience exactly what they wanted to hear about John Cena and his brightly colored clothing and his bland, banal catchphrases.  And after he cost him the WWE Championship at said Mania, they decided to have a match at the next WrestleMania.  So here we are.  

Now, the match is in Miami Fucking Florida (the city's official name!), so there's zero chance Cena's going to be seen as the face here.  And sure enough, after Machine Gun Kelly performs to solid boos, Cena comes out to a cascade of disapproval.  The Rock has Flo Rida do a couple of songs before his entrance to a much friendlier reception, and Rock himself comes out to an all-time pop.  Yeah, kinda had to expect that.  

Much to his credit, Cena does work heel here, as he works over Rocky very well.  Rock hasn't been in a match in 8 years, and frankly, it shows (for him).  Things aren't quite as crisp as I'd imagine he wanted them to be, but they still do fine.   It should speak to the two performers that they trusted them with 30 minutes and even on this show, they did quite well.  

The match follows pretty standard main event of a PPV form, but since it's WrestleMania, they get to kick out of each other's finishers. And like I said, Cena was playing heel... so that explains why he made the classic heel mistake, of trying to do the face's finishing move to him.  Well, of course, Rock counters the Cena-People's Elbow with a huge Rock Bottom and that's enough to give Rocky the big win.  

Rock celebrates, and Cena sulks in the entranceway to close out the show.  

One thing I've always wondered, in retrospect, was the Rock-Cena program done as a way to prepare the WWE fandom, or "universe" as the trademark states, to tell them, "You were okay without Rock... you'll be okay without Cena."  

--

So that was Mania 28.  Overall a good show with one catastrophically bad decision... Though that does seed what happens in 2 years, so we'll just put a pin in that.  Three out of the four matches that close are really great and more than make up for a middling first part of the show.  I distinctly remember expecting nothing from this show and being very pleasantly surprised.  So that much hasn't changed.  

Up next... 

Spoiler

Dolfan *POINTS AT A SIGN*

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God, I was so cold... 

 

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WRESTLEMANIA XXIX

When Hurricane Sandy formed around the Caribbean, I remember thinking, hmm... that one might be a problem.  Sure enough, around 10 days later, I'm drunk on my couch with my ex, watching some dumb movie and enjoying the fact that I wasn't bothered by stupid Trick or Treaters.  Of course, I was *extremely* lucky. (So was my ex who left around halfway through to hook up with someone in my neighborhood.)  I never lost power or cable or anything.  A co-worker lost her house immediately to flooding, another found out about 2 weeks later that his walls were filled with black mold so basically his house was a total loss. Half of Manhattan lost power, and the subway is *still* recovering almost 8 years later... Literally, the pandemic actually allowed the MTA to make its final repairs to the train system in the damage caused by Sandy.  

The WWE decided to dedicate this Mania to the victims of the storm and opened the show with Chris Christie - who was then actually liked (kind of) - voicing over a video that has a very 30 Rock "Pre-prepared For Any Disaster" Charity vibe to it. And speaking of disasters.... 2012-13 WWE:

John Cena spent his year getting attacked by the returning Brock Lesnar (then beating him in a piece of absolutely idiotic booking), getting turned on by Big Show (join the club), and having John Laurinitis belittle and humiliate him at every turn. But then he won the Rumble, setting a up a rematch with the new WWE Champion, The Rock.   And since he'd been champion for more than a year at that point, I'll just note that CM Punk strongly disagreed with the booking choice.  

Speaking of Brock, he was reigning havoc all over the WWE and was breaking limbs all over. Alberto Del Rio was champ and was challenged by Jack Swagger for the title in a match that, oof, looking back on... Yikes.  

But it's not all bad...  

Sierra. Hotel. India. Echo. Lima. Delta.  

It's the debut of The Shield.  Few, if any three man groups can boast that they had three future multiple-time world champions, but Dean Ambrose (nee Jon Moxley), Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins, are absolutely incredible talents, so they're getting pushed hard.  Basically getting the push The Nexus probably should have gotten, had they been... well, good.   They're debut match is a six-man against The Big Show, Sheamus, and an already looking at his watch Randy Orton.  Ostensibly, Orton, Show, and Sheamus are the faces, but:  1) fuck Randy Orton, 2) The Big Show sucks and was a heel until about a week before the show, and 3) 18 seconds.   Plus, 4) The Shield are awesome bad-asses who can fight and fuck shit up, and NYC absolutely *loves* that kind of wrestler. 

The story is, as with most early Shield matches, the team they're facing doesn't fully trust each other, and the Shield will *always* find a way to break them. In this case, while Orton and Sheamus are very much on the same page, they're not sure about Big Show, since he's a last minute replacement for Ryback.  They try to avoid tagging him when possible, and when he actually makes it into the match, he beats the Shield members unmercifully -- which, you know, should have told Orton and Sheamus he was cool.  

Of course, this all falls to shit when Sheamus has finally got a tiny escape route from a horrific beating the Shield has laid down on him, and is reaching for Big Show to tag in.... and Orton cuts off Show and tags himself in.  An RKO for Rollins, leaves Randy open for a spear by Roman, which leaves him to get pinned by the actual legal man, Ambrose.  Meanwhile, Show is rightly looking quite nonplussed on the apron.  After the Shield leaves, Show gives Sheamus and Orton a parting gift of a knockout punch for being shitty partners.   

Good for him. 

JBL on commentary is already calling them the greatest three man team ever... and looking back from 2020, I'm just gonna say, yeah, he ain't wrong. 

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I still remember people actively, unironically arguing for Ryback to be WWE Champion. 

Well, he's had a meteoric rise in the WWE over the previous year as a big dumb meathead who fucked shit up.  So, you know, he's fun and stuff, but much like the Golds-berg of the world, whenever he got thrown in with a real worker, he got exposed... badly. Well, at least his song is fun to chant to. 

"Feed Me More..."  

Fun fact about my weird brain -- when I can't figure out the words to a song, my brain autofills words. My Ryback Theme Song lyrics are about how he can't find love because he has bad credit. Because he eats too much, you see.  

Anyway, Mark Henry is his opponent and gets a GREAT pop from the NYC crowd.  This is his first ever non-gimmick singles match at a WrestleMania, which is kind of crazy to think about. Speaking of which, I've been a big guy pretty much my whole life.  Usually hovering in the mid 300's, standing about 6 feet tall.  I mention this, because one Sunday around 2005 or so, I was at a bar with my friends and who walks in but Mark Henry.  I'd never, ever in my adult life felt small... until I was shaking that man's hand.  He was several inches taller than I was, his hand enveloped mine, and he felt wider than I was tall.  Mark Henry is fucking terrifyingly big...  Thankfully he seems like a cool guy. 

So, the two big guys, unsurprisingly work a standard power vs power match.  Henry, however, is the smarter of the two and works on Ryback's knees throughout.  And since Ryback's finisher is a fallaway slam and he has to pick up his opponent to do said move....   Yeah, Ry's knee buckles under Mark's weight and Henry gets his first ever win at WrestleMania.  

Ryback, being a sore loser, picks up the celebrating Henry and delivers the Shell-Shock anyway.  The crowd booed him for that.  

That's enough for one day.  

End of Day 87. 

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I was cheering so hard for Henry in that match and legitimately surprised he won.

But the next night on RAW we got one of those insane wwe logic things. Cena came out to issue an open challenge for anyone that wanted a shot at his new title. Henry comes out to accept the challenge. Whoever the authority figure was comes out and says you have to earn title shots, the belt isn't on the line, blah blah etc. Whatever, can make a mini program if you wanted. Instead Cena just wins iirc, but post match Henry gives him a beat down until Ryback runs in. Shocking swerve, Ryback lays out Cena and... Is booked in a title match with Cena for the next ppv.

In WWE logic, the guy that won at WrestleMania and respectfully accepted an open challenge hasn't earned a title shot, but the guy who lost and then sucker punched the champion is number one contender.

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6 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

Fun fact about my weird brain -- when I can't figure out the words to a song, my brain autofills words. My Ryback Theme Song lyrics are about how he can't find love because he has bad credit. Because he eats too much, you see.  

I do that too, except my lyrics are always about kicking people in the face.

 

I may have a problem.

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DAY 88

Daniel Bryan  took the worst loss in recent WrestleMania memory and got thrown into comedy sketches dealing with his anger issues.  Also, Kane's storyline from the previous year where he wanted to become a monster again, landed him in those sketches as well.  Through WWE magic, and a total commitment to the bit on both Daniel & Kane's parts, they ended up becoming one of the most over tag teams of the early 2010's.... Team Hell No.   They did so well together, in fact, that they are walking into WrestleMania as the tag team champions.  

On the other side, Dolph Ziggler has the Money in the Bank briefcase, and though he hasn't cashed it in yet, he had been... using it.  There are so many dents in the case, you'd think he'd have flown through several category 5 hurricanes.  His partner for this tag team challenge afterthought of a match, was the very recently called up Big E Langston.  E had been reviving King Kong Bundy's 5 count gimmick down in FCW/NXT.  He was now a lackey for Dolph and... well... I'll just say this and HOPE to God I don't jinx it, but may headline WrestleMania '21.   Assuming there is one.   

AJ Lee is also there as "Girlfriend of Dolph Ziggler" for some reason.  

And like I said, this is pretty much an afterthought of a match, Team Hell No have roughly zero chance of losing, and the outcome was never really in doubt.  It's decent enough for what it was, as the faces are basically doing everything they can to prevent Big E from tagging in. 

ARGH... I forgot this match ended with Air Goat.  (a/k/a That flying headbutt that's thee god damned reason why Daniel Bryan missed 5 years of his career.)  Yeah, it's cringe inducing to see it now.   

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Two notes: I found the Dolph/E/AJ pairing incredibly likable, maybe the only time I've really been into Ziggler as a character. 

And, I don't think it wound up on the broadcast, but Big E carrying Dolph to the back over his shoulder while THN celebrated was hilarious.

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Dolph/E/AJ was a great grouping.

And you know, thinking about it, that 18 second debacle from the year before is still having ripples today. Remember, the fans were very unhappy when Batista came back and was being slotted into the world title scene instead of Bryan - so when it became obvious that he was going to win the Rumble in 2014, the fans became heavily invested that he not win it, and got seriously behind the other man in left at the end of the match... Roman Reigns.

Even though it was obvious he was the intended breakout star of the Shield, I really think that the ending stretch of the Rumble led to the bookers thinking the fans were more into Roman than they were, simply because they still had blinders on about how just how popular Bryan was. If the fans didn't turn on Batista, the office may not strap a rocket onto Reigns quite as early, and maybe he winds up actually being the charismatic main event face they always pretended he was.

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3 hours ago, tbarrie said:

I do that too, except my lyrics are always about kicking people in the face.

 

I may have a problem.

Maybe you are Tommy Chong in "Cheech & Chong's Next Movie".

Spoiler

 

Spoilered for hilarious but racy C&C content that still makes me laugh. TB, your lyric dilemma is no problem, you are in good company and I for one would listen to your tunes.

- the same thing only different,

RAF

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Ever get a assignment at work that you absolutely do not want to do?  

Fandango is a newcomer on the WWE scene (though he'd been in the industry for more than a decade), he's Jonathan Curtis, the winner of the 2011 Tough Enough competition.  And for 2-3 years the WWE could not figure out what to do with him. Someone figured out he was actually good at ballroom dancing and Fandango was bored.  This was, of course, famously Fandango's actual in-ring debut, as he'd avoided wrestling with anyone until the ring announcer pronounced his name correctly.  He's right, you know... if you can't even get his name right, you don't deserve to see him.  

Anyway, Chris Jericho is still in JeriTroll mode, but now as a face.  So, that's enough to get a program together and yup, it's at Mania, so away we go.  

Now, Jericho has famously mentioned how, in no way shape or form did he want to do this match. He was in the main event the year before and blah blah blah...  But you know what?   Fuck him. Putting over new guys is a part of the job and if that's what's called for, if it's in front of 80 people or 80k, you do it.  

The match itself is fine.  Jericho's clearly annoyed the entire time and is half-heartedly going through his stuff. Fandango is busting his ass and trying his heart out to get his schtick over with the crowd, and to his credit, it's sort of working.  The finish, however, is kind of a mess, as after about 10 minutes, Jericho misses a lionsault badly ('Dango was out of place for it), and goes for the Walls, only to get cradled for the huge upset finish.  

Chris pops back up almost instantly out of it and still clearly looks annoyed he had to do any of this.  But they're trying to make a new star and sometimes to do so, you have to crack some apparently fragile egos.  

End of Day 88. 

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6 minutes ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

Someone figured out he was actually good at ballroom dancing and Fandango was bored. 

Not sure if autocorrect got to you but I got a chuckle out of thinking somebody asked him "Hey, since you're here you wanna do a Mania match?" and Dango plainly said "Sure".

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4 hours ago, El Gran Gordi said:

For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure Jericho has a much better attitude w/r/t putting over young guys these days. He seemed to be having the time of his life putting Orange Cassidy over. 

Well, it's not like Fandango and Orange Cassidy are in any way comparable, is it? Johnny Curtis had midcarder for life written all over him at the time (and it's been seven years, and Fandango's a one time NXT Tag Team champion and nothing else). And with Jericho's years in the company, he could see that this was a guy who Vince was going to lose interest in, and probably thought it was a waste to be putting him over. Whereas, Orange Cassidy is the most over guy in the biz right now. He was on his way to the top with or without the Jericho feud.

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47 minutes ago, AxB said:

Well, it's not like Fandango and Orange Cassidy are in any way comparable, is it? Johnny Curtis had midcarder for life written all over him at the time (and it's been seven years, and Fandango's a one time NXT Tag Team champion and nothing else). And with Jericho's years in the company, he could see that this was a guy who Vince was going to lose interest in, and probably thought it was a waste to be putting him over. Whereas, Orange Cassidy is the most over guy in the biz right now. He was on his way to the top with or without the Jericho feud.

quoted for truth. Fandango is and always will be a nobody. Yes, the fans singing his name was a thing for like a month, (8 YEARS AGO!) and that's about it. i guess i've heard people talk about the Fashion Police (or whatever their name is/was?) but what are Fandango's top 5 matches? 

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