Dolfan Watches Every Wrestlemania On Lockdown

[Death From Above]

That's a more enthusiastic piece of heel work than anything Bret did in WCW.

[Niners Fan in CT]

I missed the whole HBK "face champion" run.  I was a kid and felt "too old" to be watching that wrestling stuff anymore but I was right back into it by early '97.  It's funny because I liked HBK as a heel with Sherri.  

Bret was always my guy and still is.   I went back and watched a lot of 1995-96 and HBK did have some good matches but damn I hated his persona. 

[Eivion]

I didn't start watching until late 98/early 99. The only face HBK I'm familiar with was his return in 02 to when he finally retired, the Iron Man with Bret and his run in the Rockers. Heel HBK was way more entertaining from what I have seen.

[Dolfan in NYC]

DAY 37

WRESTLEMANIA XIII

The year between Mania 12 & 13 marked the low point of my viewership of WWF.  I went to Survivor Series 96 on a total whim (and fortunately got to witness one of the best matches I've ever seen live).  But honestly, school was kicking my ass hard at this point and I was concentrating on mid-terms, the insane amount of reading I had, a 40-50 page paper I had to do, and just fucking graduating in general, so this is one of the few Mania's I've never seen completely, so that's how I'm approaching this. 

In terms of the larger picture, WWF was in a weird transition at this point, going between "The New Generation" and "Attitude".  So just in the first few matches, you instantly see where they'd go, but also somewhat of an unwillingness to let go of the past.   So, let's get started...

We begin with a Four-Way Elimination Tag match, which they still haven't called a Fatal 4 Way yet... or it may just be the first time they do it because Fink has to very carefully explain all the rules to the crowd while Vince and Lawler blather on.  JR is there too, and is in his very odd heelish smark phase, which is to say, he's also annoying.  

The intros feature a VERY odd dub from Fink, introducing the Godwins.  I can't imagine what was said that they needed to cover for, but... yeah, it's there.  So, anyway, they're facing the Can-Am Express, who deserved a lot better in their WWF run (but they did voluntarily get into that car with a self-described "Sycho")... the Headbangers... and the spotlight interview/intro goes to... The New Blackjacks?  It's another package for Barry Windham and a very young future WWE Champion, JBL. 

The match is basically a nowadays standard multi-team tag, however there is one weird spot where both Headbangers are in the ring, and Vince says "they must fight each other or forfeit."   The Bangers *instantly* do the right thing and pretend to fight, tag out, and double team the idiot they tagged in. Vince legitimately sounds like he never accounted for this completely foreseeable scenario. About a minute later, JR even calls him out on it by asking the perfectly logical question, what happens if one teammate pins another?  Vince has no answer. And I smile.  

The Express & Blackjacks both get double-DQ'ed on the outside and the Godwins don't last much longer against the Headbangers.  So the Bangers win a Tag Title shot at the following night's Raw. Here it is, and a reminder that Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People" is the only song that's been the title song for BOTH Raw & Smackdown:

This match was one of the big angles leading Bret to form his faction of America Haters. 

[(BP)]

Those rules for four-way tags carried over at least another year or two, because I remember the Outlaws defending the titles in one. Billy and Road Dogg both got tagged in and sold indecisiveness, then one quickly pinned the other and they ran out with the belts while the other teams flipped out. 

[EVA]

I remember that, somehow.

[Vgmastr]

18 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

The intros feature a VERY odd dub from Fink, introducing the Godwins.  I can't imagine what was said that they needed to cover for, but... yeah, it's there. 

Dubbing out "Don't Go Messin' with a Country Boy" which the Godwinns were using at the time.  They also edit it out of Wrestemania III for Hillbilly Jim's intro, so they must not have the rights to the song.

[Dolfan in NYC]

I'd never noticed how much "Blue Chipper" Rocky Maivia's music is just a stripped down version of the one we know.  I'd always thought it changed when he turned. Anyway, he's IC Champ at this point and is defending against The Sultan (who's Rikishi under a mask). He's being accompanied by The Iron Sheik and Bob Backlund(?).  And if you remember what I said about things being in a weird transition period, you can 100% see that in Rocky.  He's no longer smiling and cheery, he's intense, beginning to sneer, and just generally looks like the boos are getting to him.  I believe he's about two months from turning. 

The match itself is just odd.  It's so generic good guy/bad guy 80's style, and knowing what these two guys would be capable of, they're clearly just handcuffed to hell.  And in that vein, this match is just dragging on and on.  Wiki says it's under 10 minutes, but it feels like it's at least twice that. Anyway, this boring ass match ends the only way it could to fit the whole situation, a fluke roll up for Rocky to retain.  After the match, Sultan attacks Maivia and he and Iron Sheik lay him out, drawing his dad Rocky Johnson out for the save, until they take HIM out, and Maivia needs to save him.  The crowd literally has no idea who Johnson is because there is zero reaction to any of this.  

Oh, also of note, The Honky Tonk Man was brought out to do commentary for the match.  Lawler's very happy to see him, to which JR says "you'd think you guys are cousins."     I think they were going to do a Honky-Rocky feud, but I have zero memory of this actually happening. 

Just gonna plow ahead and do the HHH-Goldust match too now since I've still got another 10 minutes.  

Helmsley is half-way to becoming "HHH" and is coming out to Ode to Joy, which I don't care what anyone says, is easily his best entrance music.  This is the debut for Chyna, and boy oh boy, are the comments about her from Lawler... problematic.  Goldust comes in and is in "Intense Dustin" mode because he starts beating the fuck out of HHH as soon as the match begins. 

Dustin and Hunter are having a perfectly decent match. But my gaze actually focuses on Chyna.  She's literally standing there doing nothing... Arms folded, staring at the match, being very scary.  She's literally doing this: 

And much like the Yakuza guy, the best part of this match is when she actually moves.  HHH goes for a Pedigree, Dustin counters and is about to get the Curtain Call off, but Chyna has now slowly moved to menace Marlena.  Goldie stupidly lets go of Hunter and goes to make a save.  Hunter knees Goldie in the back and flings Marlena into Chyna's arms.  Chyna then ragdolls the living shit out of her, Goldust turns around into a Pedigree.  Game, Set, Match.    

That's it for Day 37.  (Note - Day 38 is very, VERY good.) 

[SirSmUgly]

Chyna was cool as fuck. 

Her limitations as a worker were always unimportant because she had "it." She had the sort of "it" that doesn't come around often. 

The Rock's music to me was always based on the NOD music rather than on his Rocky Maivia music. Eh, I don't know music, I'm probably wrong. 

 

[Death From Above]

Honky was brought in for some angle that dragged on searching for the next Greatest IC Champion or something. That resulted in Billy Gunn being rebranded as Rockabilly which 100% lands in what you're saying about this time being trapped between eras. I can't really remember the details of a single segment from that whole thing, but I know it wasn't good.

There are so many dead on arrival gimmicks in this period where Vince is just throwing out stupid shit and then not even pushing it, which makes you wonder what the point was.

[Curt McGirt]

Oh yeah, I too remember Honky coming back for that... but absolutely nothing else about it. Was this before, during, or after the NWA "invasion", working with Memphis, etc.? 

[PetrolCB]

Before the NWA invasion. That happened later in the year.

[Ziggy]

4 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

Oh yeah, I too remember Honky coming back for that... but absolutely nothing else about it. Was this before, during, or after the NWA "invasion", working with Memphis, etc.? 

Was Honky Tonk Man apart of the office sort of then? He was doing commentary in early 97 and watching at the time it didn't feel like it was solely for the Rockabilly angle. Maybe it was but he wasn't bad on commentary,  I  would've preferred him as a commentator than as someones mouth piece.

[Dolfan in NYC]

DAY 38

Shawn Michaels pretends he's never seen a laptop.

We've had two very big face vs. face matches in the WM's to this point, but I'm 99% sure that this is the first time we have a heel vs heel match, and it's for the Tag Team straps.  Vader & Mankind are challenging Owen & the Bulldog and to say the crowd is confused is understating it. Both teams come in to alternating boos and cheers, but there's clearly a segment of the crowd cheering for all 4 guys.  The storyline is Owen & Bulldog are on the verge of breaking up, because Owen's being a shithead and Bulldog is more concentrated on being Euro champ than anything else.  JR instantly stirs the shit when he asks, *during their entrance* if Bulldog is okay with Owen saying he's smarter and the captain. (I can instantly tell, this is Vince saying 'Fuck you' to the gotcha journalists of the time.  Thank god that's no longer an iss... Hmm.)

One good thing about 4 heels working together, is the posing to the crowd is kept to a bare minimum.  Owen starts with Vader and that does NOT go well for Mr. Hart. Vader is motivated and pumped up, and that means bad things for whoever he's in the ring with. Owen is doing great by playing a sneaky (NOT chickenshit) heel who keeps biting the ankles of the elephant only to get occasionally pummelled. The thought actually crosses my mind, could Owen have played the Sting role in NWA/WCW?  He's certainly got the charisma, moveset, and selling ability. 

Bulldog comes in and matches Vader for power, but Mankind comes in and takes over because he's roughly suicidal.  They're running through their stuff and I'm really struck, why did no one talk about this match. It gets badly overshadowed by what comes next, but everything has been fantastic so far and the crowd is getting INTO it.  I mean when fuckin' Davey Boy Smith is far and away the worst worker, the match should be great. The crowd even popped when Vader got unmasked(!).  

Finish came as all four guys are in the ring, Davey & Mankind are fighting on the ropes over Foley's mandible claw and Vader is generally mauling Owen.  Vader whips Owen into the backs of Mankind & Bulldog, sending them both out.  Both are out and exhausted on the floor, and after beating the unholy fuck out of each other for nearly 20 minutes, I can see why. Foley claws Smith again, not hearing (or caring about) the count. Double COR, Owen & Bulldog escape with the belts and their lives. 

Cute spot at the end if you're paying attention, Mankind is NOT letting Bulldog out of the claw and Owen, the ref, and Vader all try to get him to break the hold.  At one point, Vader or the ref even says "Foley, let him go!"  

That match was way, WAY better than any reviewer I've ever seen give it credit for.  It's well worth the re-watch.   In fact... 

Enjoy.

[Curt McGirt]

35 minutes ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

Mankind comes in and takes over because he's roughly suicidal.

I watched a super green Cactus Jack against Ron Starr in Continental last night and he took the most psychotic bump over the ringpost to the floor about 30 seconds in, which rivaled any of his other bumps ever. The fact he managed to stay... connected, might be the word? For so many years is incredible. 

That match was as I recall a bigtime dream lineup for me as a kid but haven't seen it since then, thanks Dolfan! 

[Curt McGirt]

Good match! The drop toehold into the urn was inspired. They sure did love doing spots in front of Stu and Helen. 

[zendragon]

12 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

Oh yeah, I too remember Honky coming back for that... but absolutely nothing else about it. Was this before, during, or after the NWA "invasion", working with Memphis, etc.? 

the one thing that memorable from the Rockabilly angle is Billy Gunn turning on Honky to start the NAO

[BobbyWhioux]

7 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

 

Shawn Michaels pretends he's never seen a laptop.

 

KEYWORD SEARCH:  "my smile"

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[Dolfan in NYC]

Okay, here we go.  Bret-Austin, Submissions Match. This match is widely cited as one of the best matches in Mania history and the angle that follows as a pivotal moment in where the WWF finally let go of the 80's. It's actually been a while since I've watched this, so let's see if it still holds up. (Spoiler: it does)

The background is Austin had caught fire after he won King of the Ring, and as he rose up the card, though still nominally a heel, he was getting more and more cheers as the fans in WWF were revolting against everything being presented. Bret didn't like that.  So he and Austin fought in MSG at Survivor Series and Austin just barely got beat.  The WWF Championship had been tossed into chaos as Sid, Bret, Undertaker, and Austin had all been fighting over it since Survivor Series when Sid beat HBK for the strap.  And yeah, Austin and Bret just despised each other. So now we're here, the middle of a blood feud, and Bret wants Austin out of his way, so he can fight for the WWF Championship and prove Austin to be a fraud. Austin's motivations can be summarized as "Fuck you."

Hoo boy. 

Austin gets his famous glass shattering intro here, and Chicago greets him with, I'd say 75% cheers.  Bret comes in, and the crowd is cheering him too.... so it's a de facto face vs face match, even though, and this is part of what makes this match great, BOTH guys wrestle the match as heels.  

The moment the bell rings, they attack each other, because there's no time for any of that posing bullshit.  They almost instantly go into the crowd and fight all the way through a shockingly not-cleared-by-arena-security region. Like the two of them, and special ref Ken Shamrock, all have to physically push their way through the crowd to get to their next spots. (My god this would never happen in 2020 -- for various reasons.)  They make it halfway up the first bowl when Austin clearly says stop and they do a spot and fight back down. The camera work here is especially bad because they've just got no way to actually shoot where they are.  Also, I think the only reason they got Shamrock to ref was to muscle the goobers in the crowd out of the way for Austin and Bret.  

So we finally get back to the ring, and Austin takes over.  Bret is selling everything with relish and making Steve look like a million bucks. I'm struck by how in just a year, Austin's moveset hasn't really changed, he's just hitting everything with more passion and it looks so much better.  I'm wondering if that's on Steve being more motivated, or Bret being a better worker than Savio.  Also, Austin's not a submissions guy, so he doesn't really have a lot to do here aside from his usual stuff, so why not add a notch of intensity or two.  Frankly, I think the closest Austin came to actually winning was late in the match when he's choking out Bret with the mic cord.  I will say, and it's a minor annoyance, but the "ropes force a break" rule really shouldn't be in play here, but they... alternatingly(?)... are.  

Bret, for his part, leads the dance very well when he's on offense.  Rolling through his stuff, although, I will say, while he began the 5 moves, he never really finishes them, as Austin is countering everything too much.  He does have a nasty ringpost Figure 4 that Austin is selling like he's getting his leg ripped off.  Austin really is an underrated seller, because damn he is bumping all over the place here. Though, to be fair, this was pre-neck injury. Speaking of nasty bumps, he gets thrown into the railings behind the announcers and he is busted wide open.  Austin really took his aspirin beforehand, because he is a bloody mess within a minute of the blade job.  Even Bret seems disgusted at one point.  And I should note, the crowd is getting disgusted by Bret too. 

So the end... and I think there's an argument to be made that THIS was what made his career.... Not "Austin 3:16". Steve has fought out of everything Bret has thrown at him. He even gets the sharpshooter on Bret at one point. Austin does the chokeout spot I mention above until Bret clocks him with the ring bell. So Bret decides enough's enough, and locks in and I mean locks in the Sharpshooter. Austin is screaming in pain. Blood is pouring down his face, as the most famous shot of his career happens. The crowd is going nuts. Austin *ALMOST* breaks the Sharpshooter, but Bret just leans back into it.  Austin tries one last time to break, and passes out from the pain. The fight is stopped, Shamrock has to pull Bret off Steve.  Bret celebrates. Austin is dead on the floor, having never surrendered.

Man oh man what a fucking match. 

Bret celebrates for a little bit, but doesn't really like the reaction he's getting, so fuck Austin.  He's gonna get him some more.  He beats on Austin until Shamrock pulls him off again and threatens to beat Bret himself.  Bret thinks about it for a second, but basically says fuck you to Shamrock, Austin, the crowd, and everyone else there, and leaves.  

Steve slowly regains consciousness. He pushes off Shamrock. He stunners a ref.  And he walks out on his own two feet. 

Beaten. Battered.  

And beloved.

The double turn is complete, and so is my ride.  
 

End of Day 38.

[J.H.]

Austin/Hart is tbe kind of match you can build a documentary on. Just the Mania match... Narrated by Werner Herzog

James

[SirSmUgly]

Austin was known as a very-good-to-great bumper and seller just based off his WCW work. He had that jelly-legged wobble before a crisp back bump down to a tee. 

This double-turn also ended up with the Hitman doing the best character work of his life. Heel Hitman in the U.S. still being a face everywhere else is the kind of nuance that very few can pull off, and when I watched that stuff again like three years ago, I basically agreed with him. The best heels have a point, and I got his frustration - Austin is a crass piece of shit! Michaels and HHH are absolute dicks! Why the FUCK would you cheer for them?

One of the all-time GREAT facial expressions in wrestling history, at least as far as my limited knowledge goes, is Bret re-forming the Hart Foundation and reconciling with Owen and Davey Boy, and as they hug him, he looks out over the crowd with this look that mingles disgust for the fans, pride in himself for getting his family back together, and maliciousness as he thinks about how they're going to fuck up Bret's enemies together. 

The video should start at the point that I'm talking about.

1997 Bret Hart is one of the greatest characters ever; I'll gladly put him on the same level as any of the other great characters in the history of wrestling. Just a virtuoso performance, his last one before he goes to WCW and they keep turning him heel for some fucking reason that I never understand before Goldberg kicks him in the head and ends his career. Boy, was his work in the WWF in 1997 a hell of a swan song.

That's my G.O.A.T.

[odessasteps]

Hart and Austin discuss the match

[BobbyWhioux]

I mean, it's in the running for most historically significant Wrestlemania match as well as best.

Because yeah, this is what made Austin, not 3:16.  The absolute best example of protect someone in a loss and/or get them over with one. "Moral Victory" almost always rings hollow but Austin does defeat Bret metaphysically even as he loses physically (and cleanly/unambiguously to boot).

[Curt McGirt]

Was that the debut of the ringpost Figure Four? Also, pretty sure you can consider that Hitman's very own invention.

[BobbyWhioux]

I only recall Bret using the ringpost figure 4 after he fully turned heel so I suppose WM13 would have to be the debut