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Dolfan Watches Every Wrestlemania On Lockdown


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23 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

I’d forgotten that the $15,000 Body Slam challenge was also for Andre's career.  Not even sure why they'd throw that stip in unless there was any kind of rumor that Andre was going to NWA or Japan at the time.  Also, if any of your 40-something gay friends are into bears, Big John Studd is why.  I'll take no further questions on this. 

They did André vs. Studd on house shows for what seemed liked decades so they needed the retirement angle to spice things up. 

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7 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

So Day 3 of my riding starts with:

Uniondale, NY

God, even in 1986, you can see what a complete shithole Nassau Veterans' Memorial Colosseum is.  It's amazing. Anyway, I'm not going to look it up, but I'm guessing Vince pitched the idea of three venues to MSG and whichever Dolan was in charge at the time told him to go to hell.  Vince took that literally, apparently. 

 

 

Coliseum > Barclays Center AINEC. Next year the final ever NHL game will be played at the old barn on 1255 Hempstead Turnpike and even though it's time has passed it will be a very sad day. There has never been a better venue for watching a game or a crazier atmosphere than the Coliseum. Literally the loudest craziest and most berserk reaction at a pro sports event I have ever attended was when Clutter scored an empty net goal to seal game 6 vs the Caps in 2015 (which was the last game in the original Coliseum):

And also either Gulf & Western or Paramount owned MSG in 1986. Pretty sure it was G&W as I went to my first ever hockey game that year (Leafs-Rangers) and I think the Felt Forum had been turned into a bowling alley by then and wouldn't become The Paramount until years later. The Dolans/Cablevision didn't take over MSG until roughly 1996 (Which as you will probably notice is when everything about the place went straight to hell).

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How fucked up was Corporal Kirschner? Per Mick Foley's first book the guy got fired from either FMW or WINGS for essentially trying to kill his opponent by trying to stomp a board with spikes onto the head of some guy like a makeshift iron maiden (the torture device not the band).

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14 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

Now, while they clean up and set up the boxing match (ugh), there's the highlight of the show so far...  an AWESOME quick interview segment between Hogan and Ventura:

 

Just watch and enjoy two guys clearly at their promo peak dueling for 60 seconds.  It's a damned shame we never got a Ventura-Hogan program that shit would have been BANANAS.  

 

 

Here's a nice consolation prize:

 

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15 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

So Day 3 of my riding starts with:

Uniondale, NY

God, even in 1986, you can see what a complete shithole Nassau Veterans' Memorial Colosseum is.  It's amazing. Anyway, I'm not going to look it up, but I'm guessing Vince pitched the idea of three venues to MSG and whichever Dolan was in charge at the time told him to go to hell.  Vince took that literally, apparently. 

So Orndorff is in the first match against Magnificent Muraco, who's a guy who 10 year old me very much had a crush on, but I did not have the words to describe it then.  Shame this match was awful ending in a Double Countout (!) which the crowd was loudly calling bullshit on. (more on crowd chants in the LA portion...)

Savage/Steele was a shockingly quick and bad match. Macho Man you can already tell has got it.  The man exudes as RuPaul says, Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent.  And man, I did not remember George Steele being so bad in the ring, but yeah... those kid memories are very rose-colored because, yikes.  Macho did everything he could.

I don't know why I thought Jake the Snake came in later than this, but nope, there he was obliterating George Wells.   Was very odd to see the unnamed "DDT" just being a headlock-piledriver.   SSJ is in overdrive here because she apparently doesn't like snakes and is either very uncomfortable or is selling amazingly.  I will say, Wells, for his part is a goddamned trooper as I pretty clearly heard him say "wrap it" and Jake obliges while I think the ref gives him Alka-Seltzer to really sell this.  

 

Poor George Steele... He will be forever remembered for his end of the road abominable performances in WWF as opposed to the psycho heel that scared the shit out of people a decade earlier. He was never Bret Hart in the ring, but he was very good at getting his persona over and scaring the beejeezus out of the little ones, and after all, isn't that what a great heel is supposed to do? I recall being terrified of the Sheik when I was a lad, a young Abdullah the Butcher when he was kind of, sorta in shape was the stuff of nightmares as well.

Edited by OSJ
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7 hours ago, sabremike said:

How fucked up was Corporal Kirschner? Per Mick Foley's first book the guy got fired from either FMW or WINGS for essentially trying to kill his opponent by trying to stomp a board with spikes onto the head of some guy like a makeshift iron maiden (the torture device not the band).

A match with Corporal Kirchner and New Jack would have been glorious! Yes, I am an evil bastard.

This does beg the question, just how fucked up do you have to be to get fired for violence by Atsushi fucking Onita?

Edited by OSJ
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15 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

DAY 4

The WWF vs NFL Battle Royale happened next and... HOLY SHIT!  It's MENG!   I'd completely forgotten a very young Meng was in this.  And you should too because he was the FIRST PERSON ELIMINATED (!!!).  Jesus.  Bruno is in it and clearly looks like he's there as a coach, walking people through their spots, until he get booted about 2/3 of the way through.  Bill Fralic of the Falcons was featured a lot so I'm wondering if he was testing the waters for a post-football career that just never came.  And Andre wins after eliminating the Hart Foundation and looks *very* much the worse for wear.   But I'll just say, this was nowhere as bad as it could have been -- or as even I remember it being.  Good pacing, good spots (Fridge/Studd double-cross is still great), and good result.  

Bulldogs vs. Dream Team match was the wrap up for Chicago and boy oh boy, this match.  First of all, it's weird to see Ozzy as a youngster again.  Next, I'm genuinely shocked by how FAST Dynamite Kid was.  I know this is the 80's and everyone is slower then but jfc that motherfucker could MOVE.  There's one leapfrog spot where Valentine *barely* gets up in time and I think even he is surprised by how fast Dynamite was in getting there.  

The match itself was good though odd.  They didn't work a Face In Peril style which was interesting. The Bulldogs were in control for most of the match, which sort of changed the dynamics of what was happening. The Dream Team was getting overwhelmed and eventually couldn't hold back the tide any more.  As I think about it, it could be they were basically hiding the worst wrestler (Beefcake) as much as possible and letting Valentine do the heavy lifting. 

But the finish... okay, so it did seem to come from out of nowhere, so I don't know if one of the guys was legit hurt or what... but Dynamite climbs to the top for what looks like a splash or something, Valentine gets thrown at the corner and they violently collide.  The Kid gets sent to about Row F, and a quite quick count and we have new champs. 

After the match, an interview with the new champs is supposed to happen...

I was a little annoyed by seeing Capt. Lou take all the credit and Ozzy being Ozzy.  But I realized, oh no, Kid appears to have a legit concussion, as he can barely stand after the match. Mean Gene is trying his damnedest to get the Bulldogs in the ring, but only Davey Boy can drag himself into the ring and barely cut a tiny promo.  The Kid is STILL hanging on the ring apron and clearly has the 1000 yard stare as he's being almost dragged to the back.  

Seeing this through 2020 eyes is fucking terrifying.  

Just a quick note about DK... I was fortunate enough to see him live several times really close up in a small venue in Portland. The dude was so fast that if you told me he really wasn't human, but was some sort of cyborg-super soldier, I'd have no reason to doubt it. Easily the best performer that I saw live in the 1970s-1980s (apologies to Playboy Buddy Rose, who was #2 for entirely different reasons.).

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16 hours ago, sabremike said:

How fucked up was Corporal Kirschner? Per Mick Foley's first book the guy got fired from either FMW or WINGS for essentially trying to kill his opponent by trying to stomp a board with spikes onto the head of some guy like a makeshift iron maiden (the torture device not the band).

Naw, I think it was a powerbomb onto the nails. I saw it one time and it was pretty mean. 

EDIT: Here it is 

Damn.

Edited by Curt McGirt
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On 3/27/2020 at 2:20 PM, Dolfan in NYC said:

I don't know why I thought Jake the Snake came in later than this, but nope, there he was obliterating George Wells.   Was very odd to see the unnamed "DDT" just being a headlock-piledriver. 

 

This is odd because a month or two earlier, when Jake was still wrestling for Mid-South, he was being billed as the Master of the DDT.

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21 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

Naw, I think it was a powerbomb onto the nails. I saw it one time and it was pretty mean. 

EDIT: Here it is 

Damn.

I am a horror writer by profession and it takes a LOT to make me uncomfortable. I can watch New Jack beating cutting up fools for hours, but this is just distasteful on every conceivable level. Hopefully Kirchner is locked up somewhere where he can't harm people.

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Los Angeles

Man, Ricky Steamboat.  His 80's run in WWF was definitely fascinating from a historical point of view. In an era of odd gimmicks (we'll get to that in the next match), Ricky got "the Dragon", which of course he kept forever. And probably speaks to how much of a good guy he actually is since a vindictive piece of shit like Vince let him actually keep it when he left. So he got Hercules Hernandez and they both clearly had their working boots on, because Herc was clearly trying to keep up with Steamboat.  

Now... gimmicks. It's funny how for every Dragon, Undertaker, or Stone Cold, there are at least 10 Max Moons, Kwangs, and Muhammed Hassans.  But the most interesting gimmicks to me are the ones that under no circumstances whatsoever should have worked.  An evil wrestling clown, a trio of wrestling vampires, and of course, a gender queer former tough guy from the roughest parts of New York City. It spoke volumes to Adonis' talent and drive to not only make the Adorable gimmick work, but to make it still so memorable.

Man did the crowd hate his guts (and there were a lot of guts there)... 

Which is of course why the audio during this match is so weird.  The LA crowd is very clearly and loudly chanting "f*ggot" at AAA and I'm guessing someone at Titan HQ did not want this to be the tape played for every negative story that would air about them for the next 25 years.  So there's this weird overdubbing, which also leads to an insane pop for Uncle Elmer(??).  In the 3 minutes or so this match lasted, Adonis worked fucking circles around Elmer, and looked very determined to prove he could work with anything or anyone.  

Chants be damned.  Adonis could fucking work.  It's a shame he died so young.  

Here's where Day 4 ended for me. 

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Day 5

So it dawns on me now that Vince saved the best workers in the company for the final build up to the main event.  Steamboat, Adonis, and now the Funks. 

As I'd said in another thread, I had completely forgotten that Dory (a/k/a Hoss) Funk had ever set foot in a WWF ring. Wiki says he was only there for about 6 months, so I guess my memory shouldn't be all that second guessed for missing him.  The Funks are wrestling Tito Santana and patron saint of the jobber to the stars, JYD.  Terry and Dory, of course, cheat to win and all is right with the world as this was a very fun match to re-watch with relatively fresh eyes.  

And we're finally at the main event.  Hogan and Bundy in a steel cage.  I'm honestly not sure, but I believe this was the debut of the big blue steel cage that everyone (fans and workers) hated.  During the match, you can clearly see there were a couple of times Bundy, Hogan, and later Heenan, took some rough shots into that thing.   Having grown up a WWF guy, I never saw the cyclone fencing and roofed versions of the cage until a lot later, so this was just the normal cage to me.  Thankfully they don't use it any more.  

So it's the paint by the numbers Hogan vs. monster match, because... well, this pretty much sets the template for that.  

Mania 2, while being overall better than Mania 1, was a gigantic mess overall.  The commentary was pretty much terrible.  The matches for the most part were bad.  But there were plenty of good things going on.  

Anyway, this wrapped up, and I still had about 25 minutes to go...

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WRESTLEMANIA III

So we begin with the Can-Am Connection (with a very weird-to-see face Rick Martel) going against Magnificent Muraco and Bob Orton -- and boy, if you watch this match, you can very much tell Bob is Randy's dad.  It's scary how much they look alike.  Except, of course, that the Ace is alot less cut up than his kid would eventually be.  And speaking of cut up... It's very clear that Vince found some new strain of anabolics to have his guys take.  Because Muraco (and later Hercules, Valentine, and Beefcake) are all looking a LOT leaner and cut than they did before.  So they're very clearly on something new. 

The CAC were apparently supposed to be getting set up here for an eventual tag title reign... which never came because Zenk quit... for reasons? Eh.

And now The Battle of the Full Nelsons with Hercules (who'd dropped his Hispanic heritage and was now in demi-god status), and Billy Jerk Haynes.  This is only notable for two reasons, one was a nasty little blade job Haynes gave himself after the match ended.  Two, was the golf cart that transported the wrestlers too and from the ring, taking off as Herc was boarding, nearly causing him to fall, and Hercules screaming at the driver "what the fuck are you doing?" 

We're now at the Mini's & Maxi's six man tag match.  The main takeaways here are as follows. The liberal use of the m-word for little people is quite prevalent and jarring to hear.  Second, the two heel mini's clearly missed their cues about 4 or 5 times, not the least of which was when they missed their cart back at the end of the match.  Finally, Little Beaver got exactly what he deserved. 

And here's JYD to do his job and job to a bigger star.  That in this case was The King of Wrestling, Harley Race.  And this is your periodic reminder that King of the Ring is a gimmick tournament born out of pettiness, since Vince refused to acknowledge the existence of other promotions -- how do you get the WWF audience to realize one of the greatest wrestlers in the world is one of the greatest wrestlers in the world?  Well, you make a tournament for him and have him plow through the competition there of course. 

So, as I said, JYD loses here to a belly-to-belly suplex.  A finish that still bothers me to this day, as it kind of looks like JYD missed his cue to kick out or something.  But the match was nothing special, the ending angle with Dog taking the cape and riding out triumphantly still remains one of the more iconic images in Mania history. 

That was it for Day 5. 

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We've had talks around here even in the last year about how hard it is to pin down heel Martel's best match because the options aren't great (Jake blindfold is the general consensus), and while there are actually a lot of good face WWF matches (Rick Martel vs Tama 1987-07-25 MSG ESPECIALLY), how thoroughly dumbed down his heel work was.

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I haven't seen it since it aired but I remember liking the I.C. title match on RAW I believe of The Model vs. Razor Ramon.  I've been watching some WrestleManias in my spare time as well and I have to say...  most of the matches on the early ones are I guess as pointless as I remember but the shows themselves are easier to sit through and just generally paced better than today's product.  They are long but there's enough going on and nothing really overstays its welcome. 

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8 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

And this is your periodic reminder that King of the Ring is a gimmick tournament born out of pettiness, since Vince refused to acknowledge the existence of other promotions -- how do you get the WWF audience to realize one of the greatest wrestlers in the world is one of the greatest wrestlers in the world?  Well, you make a tournament for him and have him plow through the competition there of course. 


Nope. First tourney was in 85 and won by Muraco, prior to Race's arrival.

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10 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

The CAC were apparently supposed to be getting set up here for an eventual tag title reign... which never came because Zenk quit... for reasons? Eh.

Pay dispute coming out of WM3 according to Martel's RF shoot. Can-Am's weren't getting a 50/50 split because, y'know, Martel was not only senior he was also the better worker, the bigger name and the bigger draw. Zenk, being an ingrate who didn't realise how much Martel had done for his career, got pissed about that and quit. Tito got slotted in his place.

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7 hours ago, Niners Fan in CT said:

I haven't seen it since it aired but I remember liking the I.C. title match on RAW I believe of The Model vs. Razor Ramon.

I was about 10 or 11 and for the most part didn't notice/care about what was a great match.  I was more about characters and angles.  But I can honestly say this is the first great match that I remember being an actual great match.  There was just something special about it.  I'll have to give this a re-watch but from what I remember this surely will hold up well for me.

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I hate getting old. I've only been to two Wrestlemanias, 3 and 23, and my memory of 3 is pretty much gone. I was only 6 at the time, I'm turning 40 this year, so it makes sense, but it does suck because I obviously had very fond memories of it. I think the main thing I remember was bringing my LJN wrestling figures with me and those were Randy Savage and the Ricky Steamboat one where he had black tights and looked like a giant hard plastic model of Quick Kick from GI Joe.

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