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Dolfan Watches Every Wrestlemania On Lockdown


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Vince at some point convinced himself that to build to an Undertaker match, you did not need a program or even a reason to have him fight someone.  John Cena called him out for a match after the awful debacle that was the Roman Reigns match and there was no response.  So he kept doing it for week after annoying week...  Never a response.  Well here we are and despite some great action in the first half of Mania (and the pre-show) the announcers kept focusing on John Cena and his quest for a Streak match.  

Well, here he is again.  Supposedly Undertaker is here.  Cena calls him out...  And it's Elias that responds.  

Cute.  

Cena destroys the new guy, because that's what happens at WrestleMania.  

He's ready to leave, but.... the lights go down, steam fills the entrance way, and a lone bell sounds.  

What happens next is best summarized by this one frame of a famous cartoon series...

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End of Day 112, Ride 1.

 

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Ride 2

The crowd is in shock that Cena was just obliterated. But no time to even think about that, because it's time for the 2018 Hall of Fame.  This is again, another interesting class but not because of anyone who was actually introed during the show.  Just as an FYI, the people on the show are: The Dudley Boyz (okay, yeah, they deserve it), Hillbilly Jim (my understanding is this was more for his time as an exec than in the ring), Jeff Jarrett (who, as a reminder, refused to job to a woman until his paycheck was doubled), Ivory (she rules), Mark Henry (he rules, and you owe him money), Goldberg (fine, fuck, whatever), the celebrity is Kid Rock (I watched two squirrels fuck while he sang), and the Warrior award goes to Jarrius JJ Robinson.  

If you want a good laugh (or just be depressed) at what kind of horrific corruption the WWE associates with, Google him.  

But again, the real action happens in the Legacy section:  Boris Malenko, Matsuda, Lord Alfred Hayes (about a decade after his death... and boy is the story of his departure from WWE to his death just depressing as fuck). 

Oh, and El Santo.  

Next up, an HR mediation session gone wrong. 

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15 minutes ago, Curt McGirt said:

Who was the woman in the Jarrett situation? Given I just saw her (unfortunately wearing a fucking Confederate flag cowboy hat), I'd imagine Jackie. Which would make it even worse. 

Chynna, over the IC belt

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Not to go too far back but it still is crazy to think that I was there for Brodie's tag title win.  And I always wanted to see Undertaker with the full-on entrance and everything.  So that plus him doing his greatest hits was nice to see and a good way to recover from the year before.  I think he should have ended it on that but it seemed to work out fine for him in the end.

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Long term storytelling is never really a strong suit for WWE, especially in the late 2010's.  However, through twists and turns, they produced a year-long story featuring Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, and ugh, Shane McMahon.  The large throughpoints are: At last year's Mania when Owens won the US title he kept it on and off for about 6 months before losing it in a Last Chance match to AJ Styles. He demanded a rematch from SD commissioner Shane McMahon, who refused and insulted him. Owens told Shane that his kids sucked, so Shane didn't take that well. KO headbutted Vince (after Vince threatened an absolutely illegal retalitatory firing if Owens sued), so Shane and KO had a Hell in a Cell.  Owens won after Sami Zayn "turned heel" by helping Owens not die via Shane dropping from the top of the cell.  The feud simmered until boiling back up at Survivor Series, which led to Shane almost firing KO & Zayn.  They were saved by the retired wrestler and now co-commissioner of SmackDown Daniel Bryan.  

Bryan, who had been fighting like hell to get the okay to get back into ring competition, had been a face commish, but had sort of flirted heel when around them.  Eventually, Shane was attacked again by Zayn & Owens, AND Bryan got clearance to resume his in-ring career.  But in one of his final acts as commissioner, he fired Owens & Zayn, which they of course took... poorly.  Of course, beating the living fuck out of your boss isn't a great way to get your job back, but hey, this is WWE, so they get a final chance of winning their jobs back by facing Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan.   

Now, the thing about this match is, it is, of course, Bryan's first match in years.  My memory of it was it was a very good match back and even though Bryan took some cringe-inducing bumps, he did great.  

Rose colored glasses...  

See, the thing is, when I was watching in 2018, I literally was hoping Daniel wouldn't get fucking paralyzed. Probably by Shane.  So, I was glad that he made it through unscathed, but two years later...  Yeah, this match isn't great.  

Bryan gets a titanic pop coming out. Nearly matching the one at the end of XXX.  And why shouldn't it be?  This is the moment of triumph over adversity, regardless of what happens in the ring, this is his "WrestleMania Moment".  KO and Sami come out to nice pops of their own, because, well they're fighting for their jobs and cheering for a McMahon ... No. Of course, something's up when they don't appear at the top of the ramp...  Oops they attack them from behind.

Now, the match itself is basically two handicap matches. Both disappointing in their own ways.  The Shane portion should be Owens and Zayn mugging him for 10 straight minutes.  I don't care that he's a "martial arts master" or whatever the fuck... he's 50, he's a part-timer, and he should not dominate either Kevin or Sami at any point.  Which of course, he does.  Eventually of course, he gets into trouble because 2 > 1. So after selling for a few, the crowd gets the moment they've been waiting for... The Return of Daniel Bryan.  

The Bryan handicap match is odd.  I can't quite place my finger on if it's that he's overeager or that Kevin and Sami are visibly pulling their stuff and being feather soft with him. But the result is a match that I'm just not getting into.  Again, because I'm still thinking Bryan may be paralyzed or a lot worse and it's clear everyone except Daniel Bryan is thinking the same thing. 

Now, I could quibble about the finish - Sami eats a Knee Plus and then taps to the Yes Lock - and yeah Bryan should go over in his first big match back... but he could have very easily taken the loss and began the trek to "The New Daniel Bryan" by viciously turning on Shane at the following Smackdown or saying he threw the match because, again, fuck the boss.  But that's all fantasy booking.  

I think I just chalked it up as a win that the match was fine.  Notably, the second half is much, MUCH better than the first.  But I just don't need to see Shane anywhere near these guys, especially when it could have been someone with history with these three like Samoa Joe or Cesaro.  Shane actively stuck out like a sore thumb and just didn't contribute anything.  And Kevin and Sami, understandably, don't want to hurt their (real life) friend, so they were rolling at around 75%.  Just enough so that it's noticeable.  

But this was Daniel Bryan's match and for what it's worth, he was back, and about to have a pretty good year. Culminating in another huge WrestleMania moment. But, that's next year.  

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I remember wondering at the time if he'd be wrestling only a handful of times a year as a special attraction. Even thought they had him lay out for so much of this match to protect him. Oh how wrong I was.

Two days later he's wrestling AJ Styles on free television with zero build. And then he'd feud with Big Cass...

Edited by Andy in Kansas
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Not giving Daniel Bryan a hot start shine at the beginning of that match is one of the single most baffling match layouts I've ever seen. That crowd was primed to go fucking insane for him throwing Yes kicks and what not. They needed to just give him 2-3 minutes of kicking ass to whet the appetite for his comeback later. Then you do some dastardly heel thing to dump him outside the ring laid out, and go from there with Shane in peril...

 

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One thing I really don't like about tag teams breaking up, is that it has always become BEST FRIENDS BETRAYAL.  So, when Alexa Bliss won the Raw Women's Title - being one of the smallest women on the roster - she needed some muscle to back her up. She found it in Nia Jax.  Nia gets sweet talked into believing they're friends, but soon enough, the ruse is up and Alexa reveals (on camera, because she's stupid) to Mickie James, that she is just using Nia.  Nia's of course upset about this and is awarded a title match at WrestleMania - because that was the next PPV on the calendar.   (Seriously, this could have happened at any PPV because the build up was just atrocious.)

Oh Corey Graves is also super horny for Alexa Bliss.  

I'm not going to pretend that this match was good, by any stretch.  It was a weird Sting vs. Vader match, but if Sting was the heel. It did have some good moments though.  Notably, Nia immediately taking care of Alexa's second, Mickie, by destroying her ringside before the match even started.  But overall, these two cannot carry the pathos of what this story is supposed to be.  

Alexa is running as chickenshit heel, terrified of Nia, but oddly controlling a good portion of the match... something that, being half the size of Nia, is just comical in appearance. And not in a good way either.  Nia is "standing up for bullied people", but just really isn't a great babyface here.  I'm sure they can eventually find that kind of role for her, but this just wasn't it.  

By the end, Alexa has kicked out of Nia's finisher(!), Corey's having an orgasm about how tough she is, and Nia decides to go big.  A Super Samoan Drop (kudos to Alexa for taking that bump) is enough to give Nia Jax her first Women's Championship. She's very emotional and celebrates to the crowd. 

There were apparently(?) backstage issues between these two and some actual hurt feelings and maybe even a true falling out during the build. I put the question mark there because I don't know if that was just fodder fed to the sheets.  But frankly, they didn't look comfortable there with each other and the match suffered badly for it.  

This Mania is going downhill fast.  ?  Let's see if the world title match can turn things around.  

End of Day 112, Ride 2. 

 

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24 minutes ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

There were apparently(?) backstage issues between these two and some actual hurt feelings and maybe even a true falling out during the build. I put the question mark there because I don't know if that was just fodder fed to the sheets.  But frankly, they didn't look comfortable there with each other and the match suffered badly for it.  

I know they seemed to be good friends when they were on Total Divas but granted that was a reality show.  I heard bits and pieces of real issues going on but honestly never paid much attention to it.  I can say that this was my piss break match and not because it was a women's match.  The build just didn't feel like a must-watch match to sit through.

But going back to the Daniel Bryan tag it was so perplexing to watch live.  We were happy as could be to see him back but whoever laid out that match should have been fired.

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31 minutes ago, Curt McGirt said:

Ooof, I remember. How long has he done that/is he still doing that? 

Wait, he's on Smackdown now right? 

He did stop that when she went face for a bit.  But he hasn't really done that for anybody recently though maybe a bit for Carmella at times.  Considering they're dating that doesn't surprise me.

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Wait, wait, hold on. So, I've never seen this WM or really even known anything about it, but you are telling me that they ran Cena vs. Undertaker as a throwaway squash match AFTER the Streak was dead instead of running a competitive epic before the Streak was dead that EVERYONE in the crowd would have bought into, especially on every 2.9 from Cena?

This match in which the WWE-style overwrought epic would have worked was, um, replaced with a throwaway squash? 

I...what?!

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Considering how wrecked Taker's body was, a squash was the right move for this show.

The right time for Taker-Cena was probably Mania 23-25. Cena hatred is arguably at its peak and Taker's into some of the best work he'd do during that period. I'd have even taken that match over either of the matches vs Hunter, but that's when Rock was available so there's really no space for it there. 

Cena getting paired with Bray at 30 feels like such a meh booking in hindsight. 

Edited by Andy in Kansas
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14 minutes ago, Smelly McUgly said:

Wait, wait, hold on. So, I've never seen this WM or really even known anything about it, but you are telling me that they ran Cena vs. Undertaker as a throwaway squash match AFTER the Streak was dead instead of running a competitive epic before the Streak was dead that EVERYONE in the crowd would have bought into, especially on every 2.9 from Cena?

This match in which the WWE-style overwrought epic would have worked was, um, replaced with a throwaway squash? 

I...what?!

It is pretty dumb when you put it that way.  But I got to see 'Taker do his full-on entrance and do his greatest hits so I'm not complaining.

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3 hours ago, NikoBaltimore said:

He did stop that when she went face for a bit.  But he hasn't really done that for anybody recently though maybe a bit for Carmella at times.  Considering they're dating that doesn't surprise me.

He has toned it down in general and  focused it squarely on his Carmella. I doubt he loved doing it in the first place, but I suspect its better for him that its actually focused on his girlfriend now.

17 minutes ago, Smelly McUgly said:

Wait, wait, hold on. So, I've never seen this WM or really even known anything about it, but you are telling me that they ran Cena vs. Undertaker as a throwaway squash match AFTER the Streak was dead instead of running a competitive epic before the Streak was dead that EVERYONE in the crowd would have bought into, especially on every 2.9 from Cena?

This match in which the WWE-style overwrought epic would have worked was, um, replaced with a throwaway squash? 

I...what?!

The two were on different shows for the most part and busy with their own feuds. By the time it made any sense to do Taker had already started to break down.

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3 minutes ago, Eivion said:

The two were on different shows for the most part and busy with their own feuds. By the time it made any sense to do Taker had already started to break down.

There were flimsy excuses for interpromotional matches or for people to switch brands for what basically amounted to a single feud all over the place during the period when the match should have been done. Them being on different shows wouldn't have made a difference if they really wanted to do it. 

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@NikoBaltimoreOh yeah, seeing that entrance live is great on its own, definitely.

@Andy in Kansasand @Eivion: I see the latter's point, but as the former noted, they broke their cross-brand rules all the time for marquee matchups. 

I went to Wikipedia to look and I'm feeling like the best bet would have been that they ran Cena/Rock at WM once and then that they ran it back at SummerSlam rather than WM 29 in order to squeeze in Cena/'Taker at 29. First, because those Cena/Rock matches were just okay, and second, because no offense to CM Punk, but Cena/Taker would have been the way, way, WAY bigger match. 

They also could have just run that at 27 instead of setting up two Cena/Rock matches with a bullshit finish in a Cena/Miz match. Did we need three Taker/HHH matches at WM anyway? No, no we did not. Coulda just run that at 28 once and been fine. 

Hindsight is always 20/20, but even affording for that, not running Cena/Taker before Brock breaks the streak should be a criminal offense. 

Edited by Smelly McUgly
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The two basically were the aces of their respective brands for the longest time. It made sense to keep them separate even with the occasional flimsy crossovers occurring. It was a Wrestlemania level match. I think @Smelly McUglyhas the right idea about when they could have squeezed it in, but that also would have needed them acknowledging the Rock/Cena feud was kind of failure as fa as a multi-Wrestlemanias storyline goes. You also never know the Rock's schedule. He may have been busy filming that summer.

Edited by Eivion
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13 minutes ago, Eivion said:

The two basically were the aces of their respective brands for the longest time. It made sense to keep them separate even with the occasional flimsy crossovers occurring.

All of which can be applied to Angle vs Michaels. I don't think that excuses not doing it. 

Edited by Andy in Kansas
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What pains me is considering I loved their match when Cena was in Word Life mode it would have been one of the all time great WM matches. If only there was a time machine to slap some sense into Vince and make this happen. 

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