Dolfan Watches Every Wrestlemania On Lockdown

[thee Reverend Axl Future]

Plus Pat Patterson was there, to lay out the matches and finishes for the big angles to keep things flowing and logical. He took care of these details and helped with the big picture. Patterson was a master of this. PP > a whole room full of writers who never have been in the ring (secondary) and who have never absorbed the knowledge of booking savants past (Shire, Owen, Graham).

- RAF

[Death From Above]

Honestly I wonder how much Patterson retiring hurt the company. It's very hard to know just how much input he had over the years, but there seems like a lot of evidence he was sometimes the guy that said "No we can't do that, but here's an idea that will work instead" which is a different universe from "no".

[elizium]

41 minutes ago, Death From Above said:

Honestly I wonder how much Patterson retiring hurt the company. It's very hard to know just how much input he had over the years, but there seems like a lot of evidence he was sometimes the guy that said "No we can't do that, but here's an idea that will work instead" which is a different universe from "no".

The Rumbles have definitely taken a big hit. They're laid out so terribly now. Basically they all fall into the same pattern of: new guy comes in, hits his two or three signature spots (helped by every other competitor clearing out from the middle of the ring to give them space), throwing someone out and then getting lost in the crowd, because 90 seconds has gone by and we need to do it again with the new guy.

[thee Reverend Axl Future]

Those Patterson rumbles are some of the most elegant, subtle, lyrical and sophisticated pieces of booking ever - and those are words not normally associated with rassling. They are also damn effective and entertaining, getting over gimmicks, characters, moves and storylines (old & new) at a swift pace. Like a movie that is so engrossing that you don't "see" the acting, special effects or camerawork, those big matches that Patterson had a hand in are some of the ones that get talked about frequently on this board because they emotionally resonated with us - as the best wrestling does.

Allow me to gush. I am in awe of the folks who excel at the arts of booking and writing finishes and such. Patterson is one of thee best.

- I am going banana inside,

RAF

[zendragon]

One think that Pat was known for was being the 'finish" guy. I remember about the time he retired the seemingly didn't have a good finish for the Taker Mark Henry Casket match so thats another area that got hit

[Dolfan in NYC]

Future First Lady Kim Kardashian is apparently the host of this year's WrestleMania as she pimps Money in the Bank.  And today's participants are: John Morrison, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, CM Punk, Ken Kennedy, MVP, and Chris Jericho.  Now, with this being the 4th Money in the Bank in a row, I can see why they want to wait a year between these.  The spots are getting more and more contrived and roughly you can see who's cannon fodder, and who's taking the step up.   

Now, again, one of the more underrated character aspects of MVP is that he learns quickly and is usually one of the smartest competitors in the ring. He proves this instantly when they ring the bell and everyone dashes outside ASAP, and he just stays in the ring.  Why?  To pick off whatever idiot comes in first. He gets everyone with a ladder shot before he's finally taken down.  It's really a shame he had such a falling out with WWE in the past decade.  Though my understanding was, he was extremely unhappy in the life of a WWE superstar and wanted out.  Fortunately he's back now and doing great in his role. 

So, yeah, I will say that the spots are getting repetitive, even though some of them look like they're absolute death.  So kudos to the boys for selling their asses off in this one. And speaking of the Hurt Business, there goes Shelton doing a flipping senton from the top of the ladder outside.  Ouch.  

About 12 minutes in, the field has been cleared except for one guy... MVP.  He climbs, but in a big shocking return, here is the unbroken Matt Hardy. It looked for a second that Matt was about to climb up to take the briefcase himself, but nah. 

Now I'm going to contradict myself instantly here, because the finishing sequence starts with Kennedy climbing, but Punk paying him back for last year, by smashing him in the face with a ladder, ending his chances. Jericho gets rid of Punk via Codebreaker,  but Punk would not be denied.  And they actually do come up with a very nice final spot, Jericho has his fingertips on the briefcase... but Punk very wisely goes for the unguarded legs of Jericho, trips and ties him up in the ladder steps, and there's no stopping him now.   CM Punk is 2008's Mr. Money in the Bank.  

He'd of course famously be miserable about it because he had to carry the briefcase with him everywhere.  But he'd cash in successfully, so... 

All in all, the match was better than the previous year's, with the right person going over.  

And speaking of over... this ride is done.

End of Day 73. 

[Dolfan in NYC]

DAY 74

We begin this day with the 2008 Hall of Fame. This year the class is Ric Flair, Gordon Solie, Eddie Graham, Jack & Gerry Brisco, Mae Young, Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson.  Ric is busy prepping for his match, so out on stage comes his family.  So, here is the debut of Charlotte.  I was literally so shocked by how... different she looks, I texted Rippa.  Yeah, "Ashley" and "Charlotte" look like two different people.  And there's Reid also...

Snoop Dogg and Santino get into a verbal argument. Snoop unleashes Festus on Santino.   It's a wonder that CM Punk picked that guy to be a part of the SES and that he'd turn out to be really, really good.  Mick Foley does a racist impression of Snoop.  (Don't do impressions of other races.)

Next match finally is starting and it's a "Battle of Brand Supremacy."  (Insert Krusty "Oh God this is always death" gif here.) Umaga is representing Raw, or as he's known in the North Country, You-man-ga. And here to represent Smackdown is Batista...   Jeez, Raw sure got the short end of this stick.  

The match itself is probably one of the worst of Dave's career in Mania.  He and Umaga just didn't mix well here. It's like watching a truck that's stuck in the mud for 7 minutes.  They'll eventually do something, but it's really plodding and just going nowhere. Judging by where his career would go over the next year, I'm guessing he's doing enough painkillers to paralyze a horse.   Well, maybe not, because a paralyzed horse would actually get up for the Batista Bomb, which Umaga did not...  Nearly breaking his shoulder and neck in the process.   

This would be Umaga's last Wrestlemania.  It did not go well for him after that.

Looks like there's an edit here...

Kane won a pre-show battle royale to get an ECW title shot.  And faster than you can say SD Jones, Kane chokeslams Chavito to win the ECW Championship.  It would mark the final Wrestlemania appearance for both the ECW title and Chavito. 

Yikes, this ride is starting out rough...

[AxB]

1 hour ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

  So, here is the debut of Charlotte.  I was literally so shocked by how... different she looks, I texted Rippa.  Yeah, "Ashley" and "Charlotte" look like two different people.  And there's Reid also...

I can't find it, but during Wrestlemania someone I follow tweeted "Charlotte looks lovely, her surgeon must be so proud."

[Dolfan in NYC]

"Anata ga motte iru subete no monode watashi o kōgeki shite kudasai."

Okay.  Here we go.  

Ric Flair had pissed off Mr. McMahon one too many times, when the edict came down in November 2007.  The next time Flair lost, he would be forced to retire. He'd of course then go on the winning streak of his life, beating guys like Batista, Randy Orton, Mr. McMahon, and Triple H.  So it's Mania time, and since he's essentially playing with house money, he wants to beat Mr. Wrestlemania... Shawn Michaels. Shawn is very hesitant to say the least, but is goaded to yes, because of Flair's dickery.   

At the time, I was 90/10 that this was it for Flair, as it would be fitting for him to go out with an incredible match at the biggest stage in pro wrestling.  But the kid that saw the Ricky Steamboat matches, that saw him get destroyed by Lex Luger, that saw him go to war with Terry Funk... he didn't want to see him go.  So, I held out hope.  

So the match begins and both guys get suitably epic entrances.  HBK to pyro all around the stadium, and Ric Flair to the iconic fireworks shot:

(This exact moment is when I hit 1100 miles on my odometer)

So, we're in the ring and Flair is basically begging Shawn to attack him.  Shawn's a lot less hesitant at this point and they lock up.  Flair shoves him away and Shawn slaps him hard as thanks.  Now they go to war.  

It's a back and forth until Shawn momentarily has the advantage and tries to moonsault Flair on the outside, but only succeeds in getting the edge of the announcers' table on his fucking ribs.  OUCH.   They replay it a couple of times, and I finally see where the set trick is.  HBK actually reaches over and adjusts Lawler's mic for some reason, and Lawler clearly adjusts it back... so THAT is where the latch is to have the table fly apart when they do the spot. Guessing Shawn was annoyed at that. 

Back in, it goes back and forth again. Flair goes to the top and FINALLY hits an opponent with the blow from the top.  Shawn finally takes control again, and has Flair set up for Sweet Chin Music.  But the gravity of what he's about to do hits him, and he hesitates.  Well, that's still Ric Flair in there, so he pays for that by getting tripped into a Figure 4. 

You can really see Flair's tank starting to empty out at this point.  Flair keeps trying to comeback, but Shawn has fully taken over.  Flair resorts to tricks and counters instead of fighting HBK... and it's still wonderful.  The old man keeps getting close, but Shawn still has plenty in the tank. Eventually, you can see victory pulling further and further away from Ric.  Soon, it's a question of when, not if.  This is all masterful storytelling.

Ric's final trick is playing dead and Shawn stupidly pulling him up... and yup, there's the massive low blow for 2.  HBK gets a Figure Four on Flair... which is broken up with a thumb to the eyes.  They do a chop exchange, and HBK hits a superkick out of nowhere.  No cover... but Shawn's got the kill shot lined up now.  

"Anata ga motte iru subete no monode watashi o kōgeki shite kudasai."

When a samurai was dying in battle, legend was, they would say the prayer above to their opponent.  It means, "Attack me with everything you have."  

Flair barely gets to his knees...

"Anata ga motte iru subete no monode watashi o kōgeki shite kudasai."

"I'm sorry."

"I love you."

...

Ric Flair's career is over. 

...

HBK is in tears.  Charles Robinson is crying. Flair is openly weeping. 

Shawn says something to Flair, and leaves distraught.... and probably starts thinking about his own career's end. The Flair family is now ringside and they're crying.  Flair thanks the crowd and they return the thanks with a 10 minute long standing ovation. 

Now, was it the best match ever. No.  Was it a technical masterpiece... eh.  What it was, was a near 60 year old raconteur telling one of the best final stories ever. Yes, he'd go on to wrestle again and again after this... most notably against Hogan and at TNA, but who cares about that.  

75000+ people giving you a standing ovation is definitely a good way to end the career of the greatest wrestler of all time.  

End of Day 74. 

[Curt McGirt]

So the ref not see the low blow? 

[Log]

Ok, first off I really like the Flair/Michael’s match. It was a great one fro Ric to go out on (even if he didn’t really go out).  
 

Buuuuuuuut, I also hate that match. 
 

To me, that match is the genesis of the over-dramatic Shawn Michaels-style main event that is a scourge on modern day wrestling. Especially in NXT. 

[PetrolCB]

5 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

So the ref not see the low blow? 

I mean it WAS Lil' Naitch....

[DreamBroken]

"Michaels couldn't pull the trigger, but the Nature Boy does!"

Always one of my favorite video packages, perfect fit, from back when they used to do those WrestleMania "TV Premiere" specials like 6 months later.

 

[Curt McGirt]

5 hours ago, PetrolCB said:

I mean it WAS Lil' Naitch....

Yeah that was my immediate thought after posting that but I let it slide

[Brian Fowler]

For as much as I don't like 2000's Michaels, that is one of the greatest finishes of all-time.

[Death From Above]

Is this where I should post about Flair's run in Impact after this?

[PetrolCB]

8 hours ago, Death From Above said:

Is this where I should post about Flair's run in Impact after this?

Whats that, some sort of E-Fed?

[Dolfan in NYC]

DAY 75

After making everyone in the stadium cry because they just saw the end of the GOAT's career (btw, 'GOAT' is getting quickly into ridiculous overuse)...  the WWE decides that the next emotion most of the crowd should feel is "horny."  To wit, the Playboy Lumberjill match is next.  I wonder if there's a gender neutral version of a lumber worker.  (Jack/Jill/Jxlk?) Well, anyway, here's Snoop Dogg and a pimped out go cart.  The only note on the lumberers is Cherry (Deuce & Domino's second) who is actually coming to the ring in roller skates.  Ashley Massaro & Maria Kanellis are the face tag team here.  Their opponents are the not-yet real life insane Melina & not-yet real life bad announcer, Women's champion Beth Phoenix.  I think Maria had just been on the Playboy cover that month in 2008, but I was too busy reading the excerpts from Kurt Vonnegut's new book. 

The less said about the match the better.  Beth is far and away the best wrestler in the ring (Melina's fine.) and it's her job to corral a watchable match out of two models.  There are literally 6 better workers than the two faces, and they're all on the outside. 

Oh, and this is when I should mention Santino Marella.  Santino's involved because Maria dumped him after she'd been in Playboy. Anyway, he costs the faces the match when he pulls off Maria from a pin.  This draws the ire of Jerry Lawler.   Beth finishes Maria with a FishermanBuster.  Which I think was supposed to be a suplex, but Maria fucked it up.   The heels celebrate and leave.  Santino sticks around to talk shit and get clotheslined by Snoop.   Who then kisses Maria in the ring.  

Santino is on the outside watching this very upset.  Probably because he comes from the Ozone Park section of Calabria, Italy. 

[Dolfan in NYC]

For the first time in 20 years, the WWE Championship had been held by one person for over one year's time. It seems almost quaint now that John Cena was set to defend against Randy Orton to supposedly end their feud at 2007's No Mercy.  Unfortunately, John's pectoral muscle decided that would be a very good time to rip off the bone, sending Cena to the IR for what was supposed to be nearly a year. Randy Orton was awarded the belt at No Mercy, instantly lost it to HHH, who then had to defend against Umaga, and THEN had to defend again when Orton used his rematch clause. 

Well, about 200 days after all that nonsense, Orton is the WWE Champion going into Wrestlemania.  HHH has won the right to fight him by winning the Elimination Chamber in February.  And John Cena has proven what an absolute freak of nature he is, coming back 5-6 months ahead of schedule, winning the 2008 Royal Rumble, he chose to face Orton, and we've got a triple threat match.   The video package is odd as they focus almost exclusively on HHH and Cena fucking each other over for weeks on end, and treating the champ as very much of an afterthought.  Both were fond of calling him a paper champion, which is a little bit odd to treat a guy in his 3rd reign...  

Cena's entrance is one of his more awesome ones as he has the marching band of local Jones High School play his theme music down to the ring.  HHH means Motorhead, which means I'm sprinting for the next few minutes.... Christ was that a long entrance way and is Hunter taking his sweet time. And Randy decides to come down too. 

Well, like I said, the build was very much everyone expecting Randy to lose the title to HHH or Cena, the only question was who.  The match itself sort of followed that logic too.  Orton tries to assert dominance and Cena and HHH would just take turns knocking his ass down. This would be followed by Cena or HHH working the other over, and Orton blasting the one in control with an RKO, and then getting put into the other's submission finisher.   Oh, and if you'll recall this is back when HHH (and Shawn Michaels) was trying to "reclaim" the Crippler Crossface because... well, you know.   All it did was make the crowd audibly uncomfortable. 

Cena's bringing hot fire intensity in this match for what it's worth.  HHH, eh, he's doing what he normally does.  Orton though is bumping around like a pinball which is kind of unusual for him.   Oh, and before I forget, shout outs to Above Average Mike Sanders, the 3.0 GPA makes it's Mania debut here as JR calls it an inverted atomic drop (??).  

Well, finish time comes when HHH and Cena are doing the Yay-Boo back and forth spot. Which as you may recall from leaked scripts was something only they were allowed to do. Orton's nowhere to be found during this sequence, so they do the finisher-reversal-finisher-reversal-fininsher spot... which finally ends with Cena eating a Pedigree. Hunter goes for the cover and...

PUNT~!

Orton collapses on the already prone Cena to retain.  

Rewatching, the ending of this match was better than it had any right to be, considering the first 2/3 of this were just a standard main event match. But they really executed the final sequence very well.  The point was very much to put Orton over as having flash moves that would end matches in a heartbeat, especially since HHH and Cena were too busy trying to outdo each other to prevent.  

Of course, putting Orton over in WWE means he'd lose the title a month later.   Oh well, win some, lose some. 

End of Day 75....

Spoiler

Or is it?!?

 

[Dolfan in NYC]

Day 75 (Ride 2~!)

Alright, so Thursday it rained all day here. So instead of doing my normal evening walk with my partner, I did a second ride because I could not wait... for boxer vs wrestler or undead wizard vs pervert....  

Hmm. 

Alright whatever.   

Floyd Mayweather  was brought in because Vince was in one of his "We need mainstream cred" moods.  Of course, Floyd is  a huge piece of shit and deserves nothing but to get beat on. Fortunately(?) for Floyd, he knows this and has made an extremely profitable career based on this.  (Though, I will personally say he was unequivocally the good guy in the Pacquiao fights, because... well, I think you can guess.)  

Anyway, to get a suitable opponent for Floyd, they needed someone who was much bigger than him, a veteran who could (in theory) carry the match, and a guy who's career was so inconsequential that losing to a non-wrestler wouldn't matter.  Well, the Big Show checks all those boxes, so he gets the call.   I should also note that the video package for this match leaves out the part where during the build Money Mayweather legit broke Big Show's nose. I can't recall if he leaned too far in, or if Mayweather just didn't know how to properly pull his punches. Either way, Show looked legit pissed off, and I have no idea why this wasn't included:

Spoiler

 

Because that shit is terrifying.  Show looks like he wants to kill.  Money looks like a fucking dragon slayer.   Instead the video makes Big Show into a heel and a guy who calls himself "MONEY" into a plucky underdog babyface.   Eh.  Maybe he isn't that self aware.  

It's basically a cat and mouse game for the match itself.  With Floyd running around like he rules the earth and hiding behind his boys and Show giving chase the whole time.  And it suddenly struck me...  Remember how I said Rey Mysterio couldn't play heel?  THIS  is *exactly* what a heel Rey Mysterio should have been.  Brash, cocky, arrogant, and above all else, smart. 

Mayweather knows his only chance of winning is by getting a flash knockout or cheating rampantly and getting a flash knockout.  And Show knows that as soon as the little cockroach gets caught, he's getting squashed.  But since the match is also No DQ, there will obviously be rampant cheating. 

Oooh there's Michael Tarver.  I'm sure the other guys in his entourage are indie workers but I don't recognize them.  I thought one was Shad Gaspard, but nah.

Well, nothing really matters in the match until Floyd makes a mistake and Big Show steps on him.  I will say Show is clearly an idiot, because I counted 3 separate occasions when he had the match won and chose to pour on more offense.  

Mayweather eventually grabs a chair and gives Show an unprotected headshot, that looks like it could have been a bad idea from many angles. Chairshots galore, and a right cross with gold knuckles sends Big Show to dreamland.  

Floyd never darkened the WWE's doorstep again. And again, given what a piece of human trash he is, good riddance. 

[John from Cincinnati]

3 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

Cena's entrance is one of his more awesome ones as he has the marching band of local Jones High School play his theme music down to the ring. 

And because of the power issues from the previous match, you get the image of him charging into the darkness.

Choice entrance. Underrated.

 

[DreamBroken]

1 hour ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

Day 75 (Ride 2~!)

Floyd never darkened the WWE's doorstep again. And again, given what a piece of human trash he is, good riddance. 

He did return the following year, as guest host of RAW in August 2009, helping MVP & Mark Henry defeat Big Show & Jericho

 

[Brian Fowler]

Big Show vs Mayweather might be the all-time champion "that was better than I expected" match, at least for me.

Although, Stephanie Mcmahon has a few contenders for that in her career as well.

[Dolfan in NYC]

For the first time in TEN YEARS, The Undertaker is going on last at WrestleMania. This the second time he's fighting for the World Championship and of course is 15-0.  So, like I said in the previous STREAK~ matches, the problem with this (and frankly all) winning streaks is you book yourself into a corner with who should be the one to end it.  And, on paper, Edge is about as ideal a candidate as you can get in the late 2000's.  

Edge is the 4 time world champion at this point.  He's young enough to still have more than a decade of his career to go (), he's over with the crowd, he's fantastic in the ring, he's great on the stick, and he's been booked strongly for his time as champ.  And while these are all valid points... does the audience buy any of this?   Absolutely the fuck not. 

So, Undertaker enters with his relatively standard druid entrance.  And though I say standard, there's clearly a fuck up because he looks like he's supposed to rise through the fog onstage and be super cool... But someone has set the fog machine on too high, and the fog is way too thick for any of this to be seen.  The crowd is still super into it, so eh.   

Edge is out now, and kisses his wife Vickie Guerrero (also Smackdown GM) for luck.  Aw!   The reaction to Edge is... well, I'll be generous and say, nonchalant. The announcers are trying to put over a Streak vs. Streak story (in addition to the title), but they seem to just forget the part about Edge losing the previous year's Money in the Bank. 

Well the match begins and Taker is on offense to start.  It takes a bit to get going, but they're clearly going for a "Edge knows all of Taker's tricks" story here.  Again, the crowd was not buying it.  So while Edge is doing everything he can to get himself over, for example countering Old School twice! He's just not making that final connection where they think he's actually going to win.  

Edge is wrestling a smart match, working Taker's old man back... neutralizing The Last Ride AND the Tombstone.  Both of which fail at various points during the match. However, Edge does make a couple of mistakes, and DOES get the Last Ride and a successful Old School (now 8 for 16!) and Edge kicks out of both.  The announcers are apoplectic that Edge is kicking out of these... but really, all Undertaker is doing is selling Edge's offense.   The Last Ride was literally like the 5th offensive move he'd done the whole match. 

So the ref gets kicked in the face by Taker in a miscommunication, which leads to Edge... going South for the winter?  He runs out, grabs a (fake) camera and cracks Taker over the head (call back to his return at Survivor Series where he cost Taker the title). Edge does the dumbest thing you can do in an Undertaker match and goes to tombstone him... which of course gets reversed to a Tombstone for Taker.   Now Charles Robinson has to *SPRINT* from the stage to the ring.... and the tombstone gets 2.  

Again, the announcers are like "WTF".  And so am I because again, it's Taker's like 6th move, AND Lil' Naitch had to literally run 60 yards to get to the ring before he could count.  Oh hey, it's recent AEW signee Zach Ryder and recent free agent Curtis Hawkins.  They get beat up by Taker, who then turns around to eat a spear from Edge. 

Well god damn... the crowd FINALLY woke up and thought Edge *might* win.  The spear only gets 2 though. 

Edge decides, fuck it, let's go again.  And gets a clean spear in the middle of the ring.  It's hitting him now.... the gravity of what he's about to do... he's going to beat the Undertaker, end the streak, and become the unquestioned top guy in W...

Taker grabs the arm that Edge has put on his chest (which frankly should have started the count) and triangle chokes Edge.   And yes, this was the beginning of the most annoying version of Undertaker, "MMA Taker".  Edge is doing his best to get out of Hell's Gate, but he comes up just short of the ropes. He taps out to send Undertaker to 16-0 and give him his 6th world championship. 

Oh that final sequence annoyed the fuck out of me.   If that's the finish you want to go with, have Taker counter the spear mid-move. Because that finish was just like Taker saying "nah", and completely changing the ending to the story they were telling.  The match itself was good as Edge built himself up from nothing to having the crowd actually believe he had a shot.  But man... 

---

Well, that's all she wrote for Mania 24. The whole thing was suitably epic.   Flair/Michaels especially hit its target and Show/Mayweather was better than it had absolutely any right to be. The rest (with a couple of exceptions) was fine to good.  Overall, I feel this is an underrated Mania, but at the same time, not.  It's odd. 

So that is it for my second ride of the day.  Next up... Houston and the silver anniversary of Mania.  

End of Day 75.  For real this time.

[John from Cincinnati]

5 minutes ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

For the first time(!) in his career, The Undertaker is going on last at WrestleMania.