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Marvel - Everything Else - 2020


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I watched the Josh Trank version of Fantastic Four this morning on FX since my hip pain woke me up, and I can't imagine how The New Mutants is worse than that piece of shit. Then FX decided to up the ante and play The Amazing Spider-Man 2, and it's like I'm being reminded of Marvel movies that TNM can be better or worse than.

But now they're playing Days of Future Past and there's no way TNM is better than that, so I guess that part of my day is over with.

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just got done watching the New Mutants. hey, it was $5 and i had a free afternoon. why not, right?

because it's terrible, that's why. if you're familiar with these characters from the comics, you'll be disappointed because the characterizations are paper thin. If you're not familiar with them, you will find little reason to care about them. I'm going to put the rest of my rant review in spoiler tags, but really there's nothing to spoil because the film is fucking boring as hell. Also this is going to be long because there's a lot to complain about.

Spoiler

first let me just say that the whitewashing of Roberto de Costa is unacceptable, but the fact that they also do it to Dr. [Cecelia] Reyes is fucking atrocious. Now, she isn't given a first name, but there's only one character connected to the X-Men who goes by Dr. Reyes and has shielding powers, so draw your own conclusions.

let's start with the characterizations. Sam is a country boy hick. He doesn't do or say much. Roberto puts on the persona of a rich playboy kid, but he's shown doing the dishes a number of times, so whatever i guess. Rahne is handled pretty well, and next to Dani gets the most time to explore/explain who she is. Illyana is the worst. She's apparently a Russian murdering bitch who was taunted by smiling faced monsters with big teeth and long claws. Where that comes from i have no idea. Also, it's never mentioned that she's Colossus' little sister or why she has a giant glowing sword or why she has a sock puppet dragon that also comes to life that one time or how she can teleport to Limbo, which is a place she made up. Dani is a Native American girl who has the mutant ability to bring nightmares to life. She unknowingly slaughters her entire tribe (is that the right word?) and destroys the reservation she lives on. 

So anyway, Dani Moonstar is essentially kidnapped and wakes up in a hospital. the other inmate patients are Wolfsbane/Rahne Sinclair, Sunspot/Roberto de Costa, Cannonball/Sam Guthrie, and Magik/Illyana Rasputin. The site is run by the aforementioned Dr. Reyes and her "employer" who we never see. It's implied to the kids that they're being groomed to become future X-Men, when in reality this site is run by the Essex Corporation (this gets mentioned twice with no further explanation. If you weren't a comic fan it would mean zero since they don't expand or mention Mr. Sinister and his DNA testing AT ALL.)  The kids all seem to swing wildly between feeling like they're trapped and then being totally OK with it. i mean, they all have powers but they can't break a window to leave the building? Illyana can FUCKING TELEPORT!

The film uses all of its run time to set up the final confrontation with the Demon Bear. i will say that they did a decent enough job at explaining what it is and where it comes from. That's the only compliment i can give. That final fight scene is ok, at best, but by this point i just wanted the bear to kill them all because they are all so unlikeable (except Rahne). Also, there's no post-credits scene. i was hoping for something to set up Mr. Sinister to pay off in a sequel that will (gladly) never materialize. 

Multiple times i felt like i was watching a made-for-tv movie. i think the 1990s Generation X movie was actually better than this. Don't watch this. 

also, this film really makes use of the "glowing eyes" CGI effect. Seriously, we see it on three of the seven characters. 

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Essex Corp got Easter Egged in the credits scene of X-Men Apocalypse. I figured it was something they dropped that was supposed to play into the clones in Logan. Interesting they kinda brought it back. Maybe they had future plans for Sinister, before the sale?

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I was so excited for the New Mutants movie when it was first announced and intrigued by the teaser trailer but wow with all the deserved negative press it got leading up to it's eventual release and then the reviews yeah I'm never watching it. The director sounds like an asshat on top of it all too.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Benedict Cumberbatch will appear in Spider-Man 3 as Dr. Strange.  

This will tie Tom Holland's Spider-verse into the MCU and will lead directly into DS2: Multiverse of Madness

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Yeah, Electro is definitely the same Electro from The Amazing Spider-Man 2 then. They laid the foundation in Far From Home, and paying it off in the 3rd. That's great shit, pal.

EDIT: I wonder if they adapt the One More Day story. Obviously a lot will be changed, since Peter isn't married etc, but it's possible. Strange being opens the door for Mephisto to appear, maybe. Evan Peters is rumored to play Mephisto in WandaVision, which seemingly starts this string of events that bleeds out of that series, into Spider-Man, and would (presumably) close in Dr. Strange 2. Lots of interesting theories and whatnot for all of this.

Edited by Casey
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I went from being meh on this Spider-Man movie to being totally stoked for it. There's two things I like with these movies, cosmic Marvel insanity and multiverse Marvel insanity.

God, maybe just go all out and also give us Spider-Man 2099 in this and then find a way to tie that into the next animated movie. 

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On 10/9/2020 at 3:49 AM, Curt McGirt said:

Punisher 2099 might be the only first issue of any comic that I own aside from Darkman #1. I haven't thought about it in YEARS.

I have Spider-Man #1 by Todd McFarlane, The Superior Spider-Man (Vol. 1) #1, The Amazing Spider-Man (Vol. 3) #1, TASM (Vol. 4) #1, TASM (Vol. 5) and Batman (2016) #1. I have a first printing of Edge of Spider-Verse #2 featuring Spider-Gwen's debut and is probably worth the most in my comic collection. That went to four printings!

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