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2ND ANNUAL JUSTIN NEWBOULD MEMORIAL CHRISTMAS CHAOS


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Film: A Midnight Clear
Picked by: driver.
 

"My choice for this year is A Midnight Clear. I saw it once back in the mid 90s. It's an out of left field choice, but who doesn't love a war film set during Christmas?"

 
A Midnight Clear (1992)
Directed by Keith Gordon
Written by Keith Gordon (screenplay), William Wharton (novel)
A&M Films, Beacon Pictures
 
 
Reviewed by: execproducer
 
 
How in the actual hell did this film get by me? '92 was a peak year for film-going in my life and I should have at least gotten to it in '93 when it was released on videocassette. I'd be willing to bet if I started going through my stack of Film Threat or Film Comment magazines from the early 90's I'd find a review in one or the other or likely both, that should have put this on my radar. Better late than never I guess. This was a war film set somewhere in the Ardennes forest in December, 1944, with the fighting still going strong but nearing the conclusion of the European war. It features a group of up and coming actors, not quite household names. Ethan Hawke, Gary Sinise, Frank Whaley, Peter Berg, Kevin Dillion and Arye Gross. John C. McGinley as the C.O. of an American intelligence unit. He has the bright idea that his unit would be twice as effective as any other if he filled out the ranks with only soldiers that have 150+ IQ scores. This leads to a high attrition rate since brains doesn't necessarily correspond to survival skills and, as Hawkes narrator Sgt. Will Knott wryly notes, " They gained a few miles of European real estate and lost the beginnings of untold generations of very bright people.".  It also doesn't help that McGinleys bound for glory Maj. Griffin is a strategist on par with Custer and if he has to break a few eggs on his way to gold stars then so be it.
 
The film opens with shots of the deserted chateau where  the now six man platoon will be spending  most of the film.With shots of creepy statuary and Mark Isham's ominous score, you might be forgiven for wondering if you were watching a horror film and in a way, you are. I was immediately reminded of The Ninth Configuration.  Cut to a recent flashback of Knott and 'Mother' Wilkens (Sinise) in a foxhole where Wilkens, having suffered a personal tragedy back home, is having a major freak-out. Knott wants to help his buddy get Sectioned 8 out of there but with no other witnesses decides to keep this to himself for the time being. This will be one of several bad decisions the bright but very much out of his depth  young platoon leader will make. 
 
Griffin orders his very shaky platoon to hole up in a house right in the path of where he believes German forces will enter the area. Recon is a bitch. As a side note, you might think that characters like Griffin are a Hollywood invention where 90% of field officers are complete tools that need a no-nonsense NCO to pull them through a war alive. That is assuming they don't walk right into the death their stupidity demands. Sure, that number is way high but those dudes exist and always have. *Spoiler Alert* Griffin will make it through the portion of the war covered by the film without a scratch.He isn't one to actually be nearby when the action starts and he isn't above taking  the snow chains away from his troops so he can haul ass outta there. 
 
Knott and Wilkens, along 'Father' Mundy (Whaley), Bud Miller (Berg), Stan Shutzer (Gross) and Cpl. Avakian (Dillion) make their way to the chateau in two jeeps. Along the way the very touchy Wilkens suddenly opens up with the  mounted .30 cal  ....foreshadowing, kids.... having spotted something in the distance. Turns out to be the frozen corpses of an American G.I. and German soldier staged in something like an embrace. The platoon doesn't know it yet but it is a message from an equally frazzled squad of German soldiers. Having returned from the Russian front they may be even more damaged than their enemies.
 
After reaching the chateau, they settle in for their mission. Someone walks across the screen with a spool of commo wire and I'm transported back to the winter of '87, knee deep in snow in the fields of Grafenwohr, running wire to the field phones of the gun bunnies as they got ready to blow some shit up.  They find wine and sardines and massive amounts of artwork in the attic and decide that while possibly being a deathtrap, it is luxurious accommodations compared to what they've known. 
 
'Mother' hears noises while on sentry and Knott debates whether he should fill everyone in on his condition. The German squad finally makes its presence known by taunting them from the dark. Shutzer, who speaks some Yiddish, translates it as "sleep well" .  They will later encounter a couple of Germans in the forest. The Germans have the drop on them, causing Shutzer to panic. As Knott attempts to calm him down, the Germans disappear. After a few more encounters, including a nighttime snowball fight, it becomes clear the Germans wish to surrender. Knott and Avakian, who by all rights should be the platoon leader, argue reporting any of this back to command. There is justifiable fear that would lead to Maj. Griffin storming in and ruining a possible good outcome. 
 
The Germans show up with a Christmas tree and start singing carols. This is the final gesture that they have good intentions and the Americans decide to accept their surrender without telling the brass.  The Germans can only communicate with Shutzer and though they insist they aren't Nazis, ("fook Hitler!") they aren't comfortable dealing with a Jew so the blonde Miller masquerades as an officer by nodding his head a lot and holding his hands behind his back.
 
There is a caveat to their surrender, however. In order to not be branded as traitors and endangering their families, they insist upon faking a skirmish that will be followed by their capitulation. Having finally told the others about the incident with Wilkins, Knott suggests keeping the unstable 'Mother' completely in the dark, leaving him back at the house and engineering giving him credit for the capture in hopes of having him removed from combat. When it happens, this feels like the fateful decision it will indeed turn out to be. 
 
This is the second film from Keith Gordon who is probably most famous as an actor for Christine. He eventually gravitated more towards TV/cable shows, though very good ones and it is kind of a shame that he has only directed a handful of features since. I liked this a lot. I don't know if I would put this on my Christmas rotation but I'm sure I will revisit it at some point.   
 
 
 
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Film: Gremlins
Picked by: J.T.
 

"I love Gremlins.   Despite the monster mash going on, it's a very Christmas-y movie with people doing their best to show the people closest to them how much they care, failing miserably, and in the attempt truly showing how precious their sacrificial love really is.

It's like The Gift Of the Magi but with homicidal lizard critters.  Million Billion Stars!"

 
Gremlins (1984)
Directed by Joe Dante
Written by Chris Columbus
Warner Bros., Amblin Entertainment.
 
 
Reviewed by: Raziel
 
 

So i pulled Gremlins, a fantastic comedic holiday romp with fun, merriment, and chaos.  It’s one of those Horrimedies from the 80’s that tried going in two directions and never really found it’s footing but was fun nonetheless.  

We start in some city’s Chinatown, where stereotypical traveling salesman Rand Peltzer is trying to find a market for his inventions and he get’s led down to a strange shop where he encounters a Mogwai.  The wise old man owner refuses to sell to him, but his grandson sees an easy $200 bucks and in typical mid-80’s “Everything’s for sale” fashion, Rand buys the creature, along with getting the 3 Rules, which will promptly get broken in the next 20 minutes or so.

 

We then get to the opening roll and Joe Dante invents the opening montage to every Hallmark Christmas Movie ever as we look around at beautiful Hill Vall-... wait a minute, to Google 

 

OK, So Downtown Kingston Falls is the same set as Downtown Hill Valley, and the whole setup is so damn close that I’m pretty sure then went straight from filming this to filming the 1985 scenes for Back to the Future.  But anyway, we finish the montage and meet Billy Peltzer, Rand’s son, still living at home while getting his art career off the ground but working at a Bank, and for whatever reason bringing his dog. He sits next to his love interest, Kate, played by Phoebe Cates not coming out of a pool in a one piece and they do some standard issue “you’re late’ discussion as Mrs Deagle comes walking down the street carrying a severed snowman head.  She runs into the bank, everyone lets her cut in line as supposedly she underwrites every mortgage in town and she proceeds to blame Billy’s dog and trots out a bunch of threats that today would allow Billy to sue and press charges and win with the amount of witnesses present, but also get her membership into PETA.  

 

So, Billy goes to the bar after work where Kate moonlights for free supposedly, we get Judge Reinhold showing up as a early 20’s Yuppie who’s hitting on Kate and being a dick to Billy then disappears never to be seen for the rest of the movie as we get the “this isn’t the job you want talk”.  Billy goes home, and Rand is there and gives him the Mogwai as a gift, giving him the rules in an “oh yeah, I was supposed to tell you this” and naming the creature Gizmo. Cut to later where Billy hangs out with a kid half his age played by Corey Feldmen pre-drugs and hijinks ensue to have water spill on Gizmo, causing him to multiply into 5 other mogwai.  These creatures are total dicks and the opposite of calm Gizmo. Rand goes out of town and Billy brings one to the local High School Science teacher, who goes to study it. 

 

2 Days of setup pass of the Mogwai laying a trap and fool Billy into feeding them after Midnight (rule 2) which causes the Mogwai into a pupal state.  The one with the Teacher manages to get food as well. We get some great foreshadowing with Dick Miller showing up and laying the Gremlins framework the Cocoon’s hatch.  The movie goes straight horror here as the Gremlins attack Billy’s mom and she manages to off 3 in pretty spectacular fashion before one gets the drop on her, but Billy comes home and takes it out.  He grabs Gizmo and runs to the school. In the school he finds that the Gremlins managed to kill the teacher. Billy takes that one out and they find Stripe, the mohawked leader of the Gremlins, who runs to the Y.  Billy follows and in the process, fails to stop Stripe from jumping in the pool, Multiplying into a massive amount of the monsters.

 

So, here the movie decides to be something else as in the chaos and destruction, the movie goes back to presenting as a comedy while people are getting trashed by these monsters.   We get to the bar scene where the movie stops trying to be serious and leans into the absurd. Billy rescues Kate there, and they hide in the bank where we get an unnecessary story about the death of Kate’s father, and the Gremlins all move to the movie theater.  Here we get something that would never happen today, but since this was the Dark Age of Disney and they needed the money, they let a bunch of Snow White show up in a WB Flick but the Gremlins are there watching and Billy and Kate manage to blow up the theater and kill all of them, but not before Stripe escapes and runs to the Montgomery Ward store.  Billy gives chase, and gets his ass kicked. Stripe goes to jump in the fountain to re-multiply, but by now it’s morning and Gizmo arrives in a toy car to save the day and opens the skylight, flooding the room with sunlight (never mind it was still very dark and snowing before), killing Stripe. Everyone returns home to the Peltzers as the news reports the aftermath, but no one managed to actually *see* a gremlin (despite many, many people seeing them). 

 

The old man shows up, chastises everyone for the events of the movie, and takes Gizmo home, saying that “perhaps someday, Billy will be ready”.

 

I looked at this and for all the chaos, there were only really 2 confirmed kills, the Science Teacher and Mrs. Deagle.  They left the Puttermans vague (they showed up in the next movie anyway), and everyone else just seemed to get hurt or maimed.  But anyway, it was a fun movie that’s really enjoyable, even if it can’t make up it’s mind if it wants to play everything straight or lean into the absurd.  At least the sequel picked a lane.

 

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Film: 3 Godfathers
Picked by: odessasteps
 

"Not the best work of John Ford and John Wayne, but it fits the Xmas theme. 

 

Sinners redeem themselves, some not so wise men. Shooting in Death Valley instead of Monument Valley. Good use of Ford’s regulars, specially Ward Bond. "

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3 Godfathers (1948)
Directed by John Ford
Written by Laurence Stallings, Frank S. Nugent (screenplay) Peter B. Kyne (novel)
MGM, Argosy Productions
 
Reviewed by: nate
 
 

An admission up front:  I’m a cinephile, and I have this collection of movies that’s now at 3101.  And, amazingly, this is the first – and so far only – John Wayne film that I have in my possession.  Also, remarkably, this is the first John Wayne film I’ve watched all the way through.

Another admission:  I had the hardest time getting into this movie.  It’s not the movie itself; I had a lot going on work wise, mainly from a re-assignment to cover mental health services in our local jail system.  Then, in the first weekend where I haven’t had to cover on-call services in several months, my 11 yr old daughter came down with the flu.

John Wayne (Robert Hightower), Harry Carey Jr. (The Abilene Kid, and this is NOT “Take me out to the ball game” Harry Caray), and Pedro Armendariz (named Pedro, and often called “Pete”) rob a bank.  They are chased through the desert by Ward Bond, an improbably named actor playing an equally improbably named sheriff named Buck Sweet.  As they are thwarted during their escape, the three bank robbers happen upon a dying mother and her newborn child.  In her dying words, she tasks these desperados with the mission of taking her baby somewhere safe.

This film is amazing to look at.  I had to do a little bit of research on the production, and I found out that it was shot in Death Valley.  And holy crap, John Ford made this film look amazing.  There’s one shot, early on, where there’s a sandstorm and the three bank robbers are silhouetted against the desert sky while rivulets of sand flow over them.  The composition of the shot give it this surreal look, almost like watching the men wading across a stream.

Before finding the dying mother, there’s a spot of exposition by John Wayne that almost took me out of the movie.  Up to this point, the point of the film was the urgency with which these guys are trying to evade their pursuers.  Why, then, does the level headed Wayne, presumably the leader of the group, take any time to recount this tale of disgust at a settler who fucked up in his search for water?

Of course, this is a John Ford/John Wayne film, and these hardened desperate men are not actually villains but anti-heroes, while the sheriff plays the role of the heavy.  As the three godfathers, dubbed so by the dying mother, continue to carry out their promise of providing safety to the newborn, the sheriff’s posse narrows in.  Around here, the narrative becomes a bit heavy-handed as the sense of foreboding closes in: The Kid was shot in the arm, and he’s slowly dying from blood loss, probably shock, and definitely trauma from the constant moving through the desert.  When Pete breaks his leg and can continue no further, he asks for Bob’s pistol to ward off “coyotes” … bullshit.  As Bob walks away, a gunshot rings out.

                I had to rewatch this next part several times, because there was an ethereal sense to the film, involving visions and prophetic bible passages.  And then John Wayne shows up in New Jerusalem and next thing I knew, everyone is on his side.  From the judge to the sheriff (didn’t you just put mark down the “Dead or Alive” conditions on these guys by one-half?) to the daughter of the bank manager (who wants to write to him in the big house).  There’s a line in “Get Shorty” where Chili is asked about being an actor, and he says, “I couldn’t see myself in those movies where three grown-up guys get left with a baby, so they act like three grown-up assholes acting all cute”.  And I’m pretty sure this was referring to a whole different film, but most certainly there’s an element of “3 Godfathers” in that speech too.  I guess I wanted a little more villainy from the three leads; there was no question about how this would end, so there’s no turnabout in the hearts of the leads, no eye-opening moment of salvation or redemption because they already start off as nice guys.  But, it’s otherwise a really a great film, helped in no small part from the absolutely gorgeous cinematography.

 

 
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Whatever happened to Johnny Mack Brown
And Alan "Rocky" Lane
Whatever happened to Lash LaRue
I'd love to see them again
Whatever happened to Smiley Burnett
Tim Holt and Gene Autry
Whatever happened to all of these
Has happened to the best of me.
 
Whatever happened to Randolph Scott
Has happened to the Industry
 
The Statler Brothers - "Whatever Happened to Randolph Scott."

 

Stocking Stuffer Bonus Review!!!!

Film: The Cowboy and Indians. (1949)

Directed by John English

Written by Dwight Cummins, Dorothy Yost.

Columbia Pictures, Gene Autry Productions.

Suggested by: odessasteps

Reviewed by: execproducer

Now this? This is exactly why I enjoy doing these things.  I've seen a lot of oaters in my time but Gene Autry has always been a blindspot, both in film and music.Sure, I know all about Frosty and Rudolph but that has been the extent of my Gene Autry experience. Having watched the Ken Burns Country Music doc a couple of months ago, I had it in my mind to change that so when odessasteps brought this film up, I was ready. It opens up with a prologue about the plight of the American Indian. Yeah, I know...Native American or Indiginous Peoples...but this is a 1949 film and I'll stick with referring to them as they are in the film. Anyway, bearing in mind this is 1949, the prologue is extremely sympathetic even going so far as to postulate that Indian uprisings against white settlers were the natural course of action of a people fighting displacement. Nevertheless, displaced they are and as the narrator says, 80 years on from the War of the States, after which westward expansion boomed, the plight of the Indian has very little improved.

80 years on? Yes because you see, most Gene Autry films, as well as Roy Rogers oaters, take place in the present. Sure it's all ranches and deserts and mountains and small towns and six-guns and horses (Hey Champion!!) are still in effect but at some point you're likely to see a car show up or outsiders wearing contemporary clothing. And Gene Autry basically plays an idealized version of himself. It even says 'Gene Autry' on his mailbox! So when the movie proper starts Gene is grabbed by his ranch foreman Tom and taken to a part of his land where some off the reservation Indians are grazing their livestock and maybe helping themselves to some of his. "Fuck all that!!" thinks Gene Autry. "Why don't these Indians stay on their reservation?" he says to his foreman Tom. Oh, and it takes me about 30 seconds of hearing Tom speak before I realize " THAT'S FRED ZIFFEL!!!!"  If a little pig comes scampering up the hill I'm going to lose it.

Anyway Gene heads over to see the tribal Chief, Long Arrow (Chief Yowlachie)   to give him what for but finds out that one of the elder women of the tribe is very sick and he instantly forgets about his deal (because he is a good dude and apparently these were issues that the real life Mr. Autry was very concerned about) and he arranges taking the elder to the local trading post and summoning a doctor. The trading post is run by a piece of shit named Smiley who loves nothing more than to cheat every local Indian he can, including Broken Arm ( Charles Stevens) and his wife Lucy (Claudia Drake), whose ancestral blanket he wants to buy and sell to Bradley (Alex Frazer) who covets Indian artifacts, including the Chiefs tribal necklace. Gene uses the trading post phone to summon a doctor. While he is on the phone, Lakohna(the Great Jay Silverheels) enters to buy silver to smith. When the elder woman arrives, Smiley objects to Gene putting her  in his bed. He tries to follow Gene outside only to get the front door slammed in his face. Embarrassed in front of some Indians, Smiley decides he needs to give a receipt and they commence ta fightin'. Obviously that isn't going to go well for Smiley. Gene Autry isn't the toughest looking dude in the world but he has some sweet movie fighting skills. A piston of a right hand that leads you to believe if you started some mess with Gene Autry, you might end up picking up your teeth.

After the fight is done a woman named Nan (Sheila Ryan)  pulls up in a jeep and asks Gene where the elder woman is. As they are talking Lakohna pops into the shot and says "Good morning Doctor!" This completely flummoxes Gene. Inside Doc Nan diagnoses malnutrition which clearly affects Gene. When foreman Tom later complains that the Indians are still grazing his land, Gene isn't interested in stopping them. Gene and Tom spot a young Indian boy named Rona trailing them and spook him into running off when Gene calls his name. Rona leaves his pony behind which Tom assumes he stole. When Tom asks Gene how are they going to catch him, Gene has a better idea in mind. His idea is to sit outside his ranch and sing One Little Indian Boy  with some other cowboys accompanying on guitars and Tom rockin' a squeeze box. Hey it works! Turns out Rona wants to board his horse with Gene because he is afraid Grandpa the Chief will sell him to piece of shit Smiley.  They bring him inside to feed him and Gene pretends to be distracted and allows Rona to steal every apple off of the table. Rona runs off and takes his haul of fruit to the Indian school and passes them out to the other kids.

Having followed Rona to the school, Gene runs into Doc Nan, who is having jeep problems. Gene offers her a ride on Champion. First, she needs to inoculate the kids for whooping cough and enlists Gene's aid. Gene gives Doc Nan a ride to her next stop and she asks him to deliver some medicine to Broken Arm's place. When he gets there he finds two of Smiley's henchmen, Luke (Clayton Moore) and Joe (Lee Roberts) trying to steal Broken Arm's sheep under the guise of being government agents thinning out the herd because their grazing is destructive. Gene calls bullshit on that and him and Luke start fighting. THATS RIGHT MUTHA FUCKAS!!! GENE AUTRY IS THROWING HANDS WITH THE LONE RANGER!!!!!  In all of the fuss, the sheep get driven over an embankment to their doom wiping out Broken Arm and family's livelihood. Gene takes the two bad guys to the sheriff and the government official in charge of managing the Indians (actually his assistant)  but they're like "well what can we do?" Smiley shows up and claims his men were there to buy wool which everyone in the room knows is a lie but hey, their hands are tied because Smiley has a government contract. The agent in charge is on vacation and anyway, Washington and red tape and all that.

Gene tries to interest a newspaper reporter in blowing the lid off this bullshit but the plight of the Indians don't sell papers so PASS!! Now Gene is really pissed!! He does what any red-blooded cowboy hero would do! He calls his congressman!!!! Rep. Who-the-fuck-ever is all "Hey Gene, I'm a fan and all but we need hard evidence before we can move. Can you get that?". SO GENE FUCKIN' AUTRY GOES ON A FACT-FINDING MISSION!!!!!!! He's talking to this rancher there and that farmer here and this guy and that guy and he's building his case and I'm pretty sure this is THE GREATEST FILM OF ALL TIMES!!!!

Back at the trading post When Chief and Rona attempt to buy food on credit Smiley tells them he'll gladly take Rona's pony but Chief refuses and leaves empty handed. Bradley is practically salivating over the necklace but Smiley sees Lucy Broken Arm, who is always wrapped in her blanket, coming towards the trading post with her son. Smiley tells Bradley he'll get that blanket now. Smiley goes outside to meet them and, in front of other starving Indians, starts stuffing his fat fucking face with two handfuls of food talking about how warm eating makes you and all I want to do is pull a reverse Purple Rose of Cairo and go into the movie and choke this bitch out myself! Lucy Broken Arm crumbles and proffers the blanket. Of course, now the blanket isn't worth what he offered before and she ends up walking away with two dollars worth of groceries. Bradley is watching from the inside and making weird faces like he climaxed in his trousers.

Gene and Doc Nan are on the road in a buckboard where she is reading his report that he is preparing for Washington. She approves to his obvious delight. They encounter Lucy and son on the road where Nan notices her blanket is gone. Nan converses with Lucy in her native tongue and then informs Gene what happened and you can see it in his eyes ...someone is going to get got! At the trading post Bradley is still pushing for the necklace and plants an idea in Smileys greasy head.

Back at Gene's ranch, Gene, Doc Nan and Lakohna sit at the dining room table planning a petition to have Smiley removed from the reservation. As they rise from the table Gentleman Gene goes to put Doc Nans coat over her shoulders and....HOLYFUCKINSHIT JAY SILVERHEELS JUST COCKBLOCKED GENE AUTRY!!!!!!!....and he did it smooth like Cesar Romero and this is most definitely THE GREATEST FILM OF ALL TIMES!!!!!!.  Before things get too awkward Rona shows up on his pony because Grandpa Chief is missing. The trio set out to search for him as Lakohna knows where he was headed. They find him unconscious with his necklace missing. Off-screen they get him to a hospital and Gene goes back to the scene of the crime to investigate. Next scene is Gene showing Lakohna some silver from a pair of moccasins that he found where they had discovered Chief. Nan rides up to tell them Smiley claimed Lakohna attacked Chief and a posse is on the way.. Lakohna is next in line to be Chief and doubt quickly crosses Gene's mind. Lakohna smiles at this and pulls out his moccasins to show they are intact. Doc frets that he wouldn't be in this mess if he had taken that engineering job after college and it is now more than clear that they are knocking boots. Gene sees Lakohna's Marine uniform and all doubt is erased. The sound of the approaching posse spurs them into action. Lakohna flies out on horseback with the posse in hot pursuit. Gene trails the posse and when Smiley stops to take a shot, Gene bumps him saving Lakohna's life.

 

Later that night Gene and Lakohna meet up at the trading post where Luke and Joe are snoring away in the back.They search for evidence of the frame-up which they find right before waking Luke and Joe up.  They both light out towards the hills on Champion with the bad guys right behind. It is surreal seeing evil Clayton Moore doing that thing where he draws his shooting hand back towards his head and throws it forward like he is tossing bullets instead of shooting them, just like the Lone Ranger would. Doubly so since he is tossing them in the general direction of Tonto, albeit a much more erudite, sophisticated Tonto. The Lone Ranger series would debut the same day this film opened.

Gene and Lakohna end up boxed in on the hills with the bad guys electing to wait them out until daylight. Luke seeks to gain the high ground and we are denied the Tonto-Lone Ranger match up when Gene goes out to meet him.  Gene and Kemosabe duke it out once again while Lakohna exchanges gunfire with Smiley and Joe. Gene punches Luke off of a boulder. Gene(s stunt double) launches himself off the boulder like Steamboat. It is a pretty impressive dismount though the cut to the landing is nothing special.  While Smiley keeps shooting, Joe sneaks around to get the drop on Lakohna. Lakohna spots him and pins his gun hand to a tree with a sweet knife throw. Lakohna and Joe struggle out into the open and Smiley takes a shot that hits Joe by mistake. Just then thundering hoofbeats! Here comes the cal....WAIT!! NO!!!!  I recognize that music cue!!   HERE COMES THE INDIANS!!!! Smiley jumps on his horse and gets outta Dodge. The Indians chase Bradley around a corner as Gene punches Luke off of another boulder to end their fight. We hear Bradley cry "No! Don't kill me!" and then Blue Eagle walks out with a handful of scalp. No worries, it's only a toupee and we all laugh and laugh.

The White Dudes posse shows up, a day late and a dollar short and Bradley tries to convince the sheriff that he is just a victim of these murderous savages but no one is buying it including foreman Tom who has been anti Indian throughout the film. From the top of the hill Smiley appears and aims his rifle. Lakohna rushes forward and pushes Gene and Tom out of the path of the shot. The sheriff FINALLY does something and drops that bitch Smiley with one shot. Gene pulls the stolen tribal necklace from Bradley's pocket, ending his shenanigans. Sheriff tells Blue Eagle to get that to his chief. Blue Eagle puts it around Lakohna's neck as it seems Chief Long Arrow has succumbed to a combination of his injuries and malnutrition. Gene tells the reporter, who had tagged along with the posse, that he's got some stories to write! A montage of headlines later, Gene and Tom/Fred Ziffel, dressed as skinny Santa, lead a caravan of food supplies to the starving Indians as Gene sings 'Here Comes Santa Claus' . Yup, our Christmas tie-in with four minutes to go. At the Indian school Lakohna and Doc Nan are together and she reveals to Gene that she is actually half Indian, so no 1949 Jungle Fever here. We end with Gene and Indian kids singing Silent Night.

 

Great. Fucking. Movie.  69 minutes of my life well invested.

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Edited by Execproducer
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Film: The Shop Around the Corner
Picked by: execproducer
 

" It is the superior Jimmy Stewart Christmas film. Ernst Lubitsch didn't invent the filmic love-hate relationship but he nearly perfects it here with the added conceit that Stewart and Margaret Sullivan's bickering co-workers are unaware that they are each others pen pal crush. Also features the Wizard himself, Frank Morgan as their kind but troubled boss.  "

 
The Shop Around the Corner (1940)
Directed by Ernst Lubitsch
Written by Samson Raphaelson,(screenplay) based on the play Parfumerie by Miklós László
MGM
 
 
Reviewed by:J.T.
 
 

The_Shop_around_the_Corner-197813446-lar

 

I'll admit.  I was pretty surprised when I found out what I was going to be reviewing for this years Christmas movie project.  I definitely don't think I'm the first pick to review a romantic comedy, but we're not talking about any old rom-com here.  We're talking about the 1940 classic, The Shop Around The Corner, starting James Stewart and Margaret Sullivan; arguably one of the greatest movies committed to film.

Jimmy Stewart plays Alfred Kralik, the top salesman at a store in Budapest run by the fussy, eccentric Hugo Matuschek (Frank Morgan, literally taking this role shortly after The Wizard of Oz). The employees oil “Mr Matuschek’s” name across their tongues as they try to anchor positions in a mildly antagonistic hierarchy.

The Shop Around the Corner hones one of the perfect rom-com scenarios: the couple who hate each other with the fire of a thousand suns, but will, almost certainly, end up hugging before Act II is over. 

Klara Novak (Margaret Sullivan) enters the store in the opening scene looking for a job. Initially, she is rebuffed, but when she manages to flog a vulgar musical cigarette box, Mr Matuschek takes her on. She and Alfred really rub each other the wrong way. Happily, both are carrying on anonymous correspondence with partners who seem entirely unlike their professional rivals.

Even if you haven’t seen the two movies based on this film  (the Robert Leonard helmed In The Good Ole Summertime (1949) starring Judy Garland during the height of her tumultuous relationship with MGM and Nora Ephron's tepid You’ve Got Mail (1998) with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks), you will know where this is going:  the idealized correspondents turn out to be the hated workmates. 

The greenest grass is the turf on your side of the fence.  I think I heard this in a song once that had something to do with Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Anyway, as an indie film snob, I'd always heard about the Lubitsch Factor.  It was a strange formula which blended sophisticated, urbane comedy with biting satire.  The Lubitsch Factor does not really rear its head in this movie as it does in Lubitsch's other movies like Ninotchka or To Be or Not To Be, but it does have that bittersweet taste found in Heaven Can Wait (not to be confused with the 1978 movie of the same title which is a remake of Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1944), not this movie).  As a guy, I found it very reassuring that the best romantic comedies out there have a dash of sugar for the ladies as well as a hint of salt for us poor chaps that got dragged along to the theater.

The cast in this movie is delightful and the chemistry between Stewart and Sullivan is nothing short of magical.  This movie really shows off Stewart's range as well.  You normally think of Stewart as the All-American nice guy, but he really comes off as quite the pompous asshole this time around.  He's a puffed shirt just waiting for the right woman with a really sharp pin to come around and pop his ego and that's exactly what Margaret Sullivan does.

Not only is this a perfectly fine Christmas movie, it should also be required viewing in relationship counseling sessions.  Love isn't treated as some magical, ephemeral thing that swoops in and cures all.  It is fragile and requires cultivation.  Lubitsch does not pull his punches and always keeps it in front of you that there is a real chance that Kralik and Novak will never find the happiness they both desperately long for.  Will they both continue to be self absorbed idiots or will they risk their hearts on finding true love in the arms of the person they despise the most?   As they say, strange bedfellows.

If you and your significant other are stressing, pop this classic into the DVD player and watch it together.  Relationships can be combative sometimes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that your partner is the enemy, right?  Rebond and Rekindle, guys.  It's the season of giving and forgiving.

Merry Christmas, and I give this movie my highest recommendation!

 

Edited by Execproducer
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