Raw is Kabuki Theater - 12/9/2019

[Casey]

I "watched" for about 45 minutes or so before getting bored and choosing to watch Silicon Valley and Watchmen instead.

It's so weird to hear the commentators so nonchalantly mention that CM Punk is going to be on a WWE show the next day. 

[The Natural]

Poor Mojo.

[The Natural]

7 hours ago, For Great Justice said:

And well, sometimes you just gotta say “FANS WE’RE OUTTA TIME!”. Yikes to that ending, which really sucks for two HOF guys like that.

[Dolfan in NYC]

7 hours ago, Eivion said:

Was neat trying to see a jobber get clever with Rowan and paying dearly for it. This was another reminder though that WWE needs to actually announce the why when matches end in referee stoppage. 

This isn't the first time we've seen this jobber fwiw

 

 

[Greggulator]

The Kabuki Warriors are number one and the best. The whole act currently rules right now. I love their cocksure, over-the-top strut/dance to the ring. They have a great combination of brutality and cheapshot b.s., too. The end of the Becky match was so badass with Asuka doing her rolling hand gesture to point at Becky when Kairi blasted her through the table. That was on the same level as when Bray pointed at Roman speared that dude, just with the camera angle not quite as good because it was on the floor. Then I loved Kairi holding titles on her kneck, followed by them screaming nonsense in Japanese, jumping Charlotte and tormenting Charly. 

I also really liked how they beat Charlotte but took a DQ to get Becky. That's a really good way to show that Becky's the champ and the best and Charlotte is a little below. That's what you SHOULD do with your champion.There's a hierarchy. Charlotte has established herself as awesome. Becky has established herself as the dominant figure in woman's wrestling, and she shouldn't be taking a pin. Hierarchy is important.

And, also, Becky walked off in pain and holding her neck. Her doing that makes sense at the time because KO took the stretcher/ambulance job. Again: Hierarchy. KO ate a curb stomp to the floor after taking a van door to the face. Becky got put through a table to the floor, which may or may not end an actual wresting match. Two stretcher jobs on one show takes away from the impact of one of them. Maybe they could have cut to commercial so you don't see Becky walking off, but either way she has to get back to the locker room anyways. 

As far as predictability goes: What's the difference between something being predictable versus having organized storytelling that advances from week-to-week with a plan in place that leads to a match at a flagship PPV? I'm fine with predictability if the stories are fun getting there. The Kabuki Warriors, who people were slagging on for not being on TV or having credibility not too long ago, now have that and are forcing the two long-term rivals with years of tension and one of the most bitter rivalries in memory to team up.

Rollins reverted back to his manipulative heel ways and finally revealed his true motivations -- you turned on me, so screw you -- and his plan with his hired goons. And it's not like KO played the dumb babyface who never saw it coming. He saw it coming from the very first second! They played it against type, too. No KO/Rollins vs. AOP match where the turn or increased tensions occurs. It was KO just saying "yeah, okay, whatever dude" the whole time. He just was obsessed with getting revenge against the AOP and Rollins knew that and took advantage. 

[caley]

I didn’t watch the whole show but didn’t hate it as much as some of you (I actually didn’t mind the opening segment because Rusev played it really funny and against type instead of hurt or vengeful he played it kinda nonchalant and I liked when he said Lana was “just...bad” which was a funny line anywhere else but a wrestling audience didn’t react because they’re waiting for an Attitude-era slut-shaming kind of perjorative put-down) but the one thing I disliked that nobody mentioned is putting the Vikings over the Street Prophets for (What i think is) the latter’s first loss.  The Vikings didn’t need it, it didn’t help the Prophets.  It was just counter-productive.  

[NikoBaltimore]

48 minutes ago, Greggulator said:

As far as predictability goes: What's the difference between something being predictable versus having organized storytelling that advances from week-to-week with a plan in place that leads to a match at a flagship PPV? I'm fine with predictability if the stories are fun getting there. The Kabuki Warriors, who people were slagging on for not being on TV or having credibility not too long ago, now have that and are forcing the two long-term rivals with years of tension and one of the most bitter rivalries in memory to team up.

I haven't seen last night yet but predictable is all well and good.  Takeovers can be pretty predictable but are still beloved anyway because things largely make sense and are fun to watch.   It's just that aside from Kabuki Warriors there's no fun in this build to the PPV.  Yeah, everybody knew Rollins was with AOP but given how little people think of Rollins (myself included though that wasn't always the case) it can be a chore to get through.  And it's been obvious that Rusev and Lashley are going to have a match.  Heck, it seems rather obvious that Rusev will win at the show unless they want to go full Attitude Era and pull a swerve.  But it sure as shit hasn't been fun and has led to me skipping their stuff altogether.  And then there's the whole Roman/Corbin feud which has been straight up embarrassing to watch with the "Big Dog" stuff.  We know Roman will get revenge but I just can't be bothered to watch.  So take all that and you have a TLC show that is oh-so-very skippable no matter predictable things are or even how it may make sense at the end.

Side note:  Are they really teasing an Andrande and Zelina split?  GTFOH with that shit, man, those two are fantastic together.

[sydneybrown]

12 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

Also, they absolutely better never do that Weekend Update thing again. 

I know Vince just found out that SNL exists, but jesus was that total cringe. 

Like, I get the point of the joke is to show how out-of-touch Vince is, but literally you can argue that WWE wouldn't be anywhere near where it became if Vince didn't partner with Dick Ebersol in the 80s to have SNME fill-in for SNL.

[Craig H]

44 minutes ago, NikoBaltimore said:

I haven't seen last night yet but predictable is all well and good.  Takeovers can be pretty predictable but are still beloved anyway because things largely make sense and are fun to watch.   It's just that aside from Kabuki Warriors there's no fun in this build to the PPV.  Yeah, everybody knew Rollins was with AOP but given how little people think of Rollins (myself included though that wasn't always the case) it can be a chore to get through.  And it's been obvious that Rusev and Lashley are going to have a match.  Heck, it seems rather obvious that Rusev will win at the show unless they want to go full Attitude Era and pull a swerve.  But it sure as shit hasn't been fun and has led to me skipping their stuff altogether.  And then there's the whole Roman/Corbin feud which has been straight up embarrassing to watch with the "Big Dog" stuff.  We know Roman will get revenge but I just can't be bothered to watch.  So take all that and you have a TLC show that is oh-so-very skippable no matter predictable things are or even how it may make sense at the end.

Side note:  Are they really teasing an Andrande and Zelina split?  GTFOH with that shit, man, those two are fantastic together.

My biggest problem with the Seth stuff is that he should have come out and been like, "You know what, Kevin was right. I was with AOP the whole time, but I just didn't feel like I owed it to any of you ingrates to be honest or truthful. It's much more fun to be a liar...even if everyone knows you're lying."

Instead he went out there and TWICE said that Kevin was wrong and he wasn't with the AOP and it was only until no one believed he was being honest that he decided to join up with the AOP. That is fucking dumb. It wasn't even the dumbest or worst thing that happened last night because that Rusev and Lana segment was just horrible TV. Lana has been doing this for years and it seems like she's only gotten worse as a personality. Also, skinny Rusev just looks weird to me. At one point he looked like La Sombra's handsome, burly cousin. Now he looks like slightly bigger Perez Hilton. And everyone was dressed like a goofball. Rusev looked like he was auditioning for Bachelor Party 2, Lashley came out in his wrestling gear and the elbow gear it looked like he stole from Barry Bonds, and Lana, well, she was dressed for the part.

[Niners Fan in CT]

2 hours ago, Greggulator said:

I also really liked how they beat Charlotte but took a DQ to get Becky. That's a really good way to show that Becky's the champ and the best and Charlotte is a little below. That's what you SHOULD do with your champion.There's a hierarchy. Charlotte has established herself as awesome. Becky has established herself as the dominant figure in woman's wrestling, and she shouldn't be taking a pin. Hierarchy is important.

I completely disagree. If history and titles mean anything in this company then the Kabuki Warriors who have success as both singles competitors and now as a tag team and are the current champions they should be able to beat any person 2 on 1.  

Why do I give a shit about them vs. Becky/Charlotte if they can't put away Becky by herself?  Why should I be invested in that match?  Shouldn't the whole point be that Becky and Charlotte need each other?  

[Craig H]

By the way, there's no way Rusev is winning.

[Kang]

I enjoy these Heyman booked Raws.

[caley]

45 minutes ago, D.Z said:

I enjoy these Heyman booked Raws.

I think one small but, to me, notable change is that the last part of the night is generally the main event of the night.  I HATED earlier in the year and into the last year or so where they would have the main event, such as it was, at the end of the second hour and then dump a bunch of random filler in that last hour.  It would be like if you were watching a movie and the climax came halfway through and then the characters just wrapped up some loose ends in the last half.  Also the main event spot should almost always be a match. 

How come Tozawa doesn't do that "Ha! Ha!" thing that the crowd used to do with him anymore? Is this one of those weird WWE things where they told him not to do it?

I hope Hornswoggle is in Rowan's cage.

[Curt McGirt]

Humberto/Andrade was indeed good. In a wrestling world filled with highspots, Humberto's Orihara is probably one of the prettiest. Breaking up Zelina and Andrade will be a huge mistake.

Tozawa sure doesn't mind getting his head kicked off every Monday. You got to give credit to that jobber trying to steal the countout from Rowan before also dying horribly. What did Rowan's shirt say, Glory of Hammer? If so that's a wonderful piece of broken English. 

God it is nice to fast forward through all the fucking Xmas commercials. As if the seasonal music wasn't enough one of them is playing "Come Together", I don't need that running through my head too. And when they're running a divorce angle with Rusev where even he takes the piss out of it by wearing a Donald Duck shirt, well missing that is more than a blessing. 

Speaking of highspots, that launch through the ropes for the flip powerbomb from Rey was just nuts.

[Whodathunkit]

Does anyone else think Owen's babyface Austin tribute act is unbearable?  I think he was probably the best heel in the company for a long stretch, but he's become one of my least favorite wrestlers since turning face.

Edited December 10, 2019 by Whodathunkit

[Nice Guy Eddie]

49 minutes ago, Curt McGirt said:

Humberto/Andrade was indeed good. In a wrestling world filled with highspots, Humberto's Orihara is probably one of the prettiest. Breaking up Zelina and Andrade will be a huge mistake.

Tozawa sure doesn't mind getting his head kicked off every Monday. You got to give credit to that jobber trying to steal the countout from Rowan before also dying horribly. What did Rowan's shirt say, Glory of Hammer? If so that's a wonderful piece of broken English. 

God it is nice to fast forward through all the fucking Xmas commercials. As if the seasonal music wasn't enough one of them is playing "Come Together", I don't need that running through my head too. And when they're running a divorce angle with Rusev where even he takes the piss out of it by wearing a Donald Duck shirt, well missing that is more than a blessing. 

Speaking of highspots, that launch through the ropes for the flip powerbomb from Rey was just nuts.

It said Gloryhammer.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloryhammer

[Curt McGirt]

Hoo boy... he should really draw the line at Hammerfall. Before Hammerfall, actually.

Anyway. Owens is at least reacting to things like we would, like by stunning people and saying "I just vomited in my mouth" in reaction to Raw's writing. And he deserves bonus points for collapsing in the same position every character in Family Guy does after getting jumped last night. 

[RIShane]

7 hours ago, Niners Fan in CT said:

I completely disagree. If history and titles mean anything in this company then the Kabuki Warriors who have success as both singles competitors and now as a tag team and are the current champions they should be able to beat any person 2 on 1.  

Why do I give a shit about them vs. Becky/Charlotte if they can't put away Becky by herself?  Why should I be invested in that match?  Shouldn't the whole point be that Becky and Charlotte need each other?  

Plus while a hierarchy isn't a bad thing in itself, the match and her not really selling the Kairi elbow that much comes as just the latest moment in more than a year of Becky having incredibly protected booking. That match was her first back after not taking the fall at Survivor Series (which is fine in itself) and then getting a needless Hogan-must-pose moment and Michael Cole going on about how she didn't really lose to finish the show. At this point her last clean loss was at the Rumble to Asuka and given the way Asuka largely disappeared from TV afterwards was basically just a pretext so she could then win the Rumble later that night on one leg.

The thing that gets me about it is that the protection is so heavy that its actively undermining the storytelling a lot of the time. In addition to this example (you can understand why Charlotte would need to work together given she lost clean but Becky didn't lose or even come close to losing, so why bother?), it reminds me of how parts of the Mania build were hurt by their reluctance to ever let Becky show any adversity on the way to winning both belts. The one that strikes me was the Beat the Clock challenge they did a couple of weeks before Mania. Ronda starts and beats Sarah Logan in 1:25, then Charlotte runs out of time against Ruby Riott (in what incidentally is about as good of a match as you can pull off in 85 seconds, they somehow tell a coherent story and include some cool counters/sequences in that time) and lashes out by attacking Becky. Clearly the logical choice given that Becky is going to be winning at Mania is to let Ronda win here so Ronda is then more of a threat to overcome at the PPV, especially as Becky has already gotten the protection of interference. What do they do instead? Have Becky win clean with ten seconds to spare. Its such odd storytelling. Its hard even for Becky to run this 'debt' storyline she keeps trying to push on social media because she's been booked so dominantly for so long that there aren't really any at this point.

[DreamBroken]

the Rumble completely turned me off of Becky and I've hated most of her year. the last few months haven't been as bad, largely in part to the Sasha cell match being the first Becky match I somewhat enjoyed this year. Lately she seems just kinda there, and I think this match was a good indicator of Charlotte being far superior overall.

8 hours ago, Whodathunkit said:

Does anyone else think Owen's babyface Austin tribute act is unbearable?  I think he was probably the best heel in the company for a long stretch, but he's become one of my least favorite wrestlers since turning face.

100%. Turned me off Smackdown completely and now he's turning me off RAW, instant channel changer. After a good few years, I think they ruined him last year making him Braun's bitch and then this year even worse with the fake face turn, back to heel turn, ok now this is the real face turn all coming off horribly. His imitation pipe bomb amounted to nothing. Bring back Shane O.