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Dolfan in NYC

I Said, Hey... What's Going On?

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I like reading what's going on with you fine folks around here through for the most part tend to keep personal stuff to myself.  But aside from talking about the house move may as well mention this.

My dad is going to be 70 next year and figured given his age to go and get a check-up.  He's pretty healthy as far as being active and eating well save a little gut he's grown to laugh at.  But while he wasn't feeling anything wrong his doctor noticed heart issues and recommended he get some stents put in.  So he goes Wednesday and they're scoping it to verify everything when they notice 80-90% blockage in three arteries.  So they have him do open heart surgery (triple bypass basically) and everything went really well.  But what still eats away at me is if he didn't get that check-up for sure would have had a massive heart attack at some point.  I can't help but think of my father-in-law who didn't see a doctor for check-ups or when things bothered him.  And for that he sadly ended up with stage 4 colon cancer and passed away.  But if he was on top of things I would think he'd still be around.  But thankfully my dad went otherwise I'd be posting here about his passing.

One thing that my mom mentioned while waiting was that there's been relatives on both sides that have had various heart issues and it's freaking me out.  I currently have a bit of high blood pressure and what my doctor said is Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  I've tried medication for it which didn't pan out and feel at this point it's best to get into a heart healthy diet of some kind along with regular exercise.  It's been easier said than done the past couple years considering I definitely have my vices (beer/alcohol, fatty foods, etc.)  But with what I found out even though I'm only 36 I feel a huge need to get my shit together.  I'm hopeful about things especially since we're planning on having a kid next year And at 37 that opens up another set of questions but that's for another time.  We'll see what happens but at this point either I hold on to my dumb decisions or I do something about it.  Hopefully I make the right choices so I don't end up like my dad.

So long story short getting check-ups are essential and in my dad's case can be life-saving.  So while I can't tell anybody what to do I can at least hope that y'all do them if anything for peace of mind.  I'm aiming to get mine by the end of the year. 

Edited by NikoBaltimore
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Insurance red tape has been cut through and things appear resolved. Unless anything else happens, I'm having surgery December 11. Things are quite exciting over here!

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On 11/13/2019 at 12:12 AM, Stefanie the Human said:

Insurance red tape has been cut through and things appear resolved. Unless anything else happens, I'm having surgery December 11. Things are quite exciting over here!

Great news!

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@NikoBaltimore:  Minor bloodpressure issues are just that MINOR  issues if you take care of them. I've been taking meds for same almost as long as you've been alive (32 years), it's not a big deal, cost is $7.00 a month for the pills and $18.00 for three months of the inhaler, oh, guess that would be $6.00 a month... Total is therefore $13.00 a month which I blow on comic books that end up in the Why the Fuck Did I Buy This? Box! So, in other words not a financial hardship. Make sure to ask for generics, unless you have a really weird condition there is a generic to treat it. On the other hand for every in-expensive drug there exist four or five name-brands that cost a ton of money and have highly-paid sales reps to take doctors to lunch or Yankees games to convince them to prescribe their product. I always stayed out of medical sales despite being heavily recruited for just that reason. "You   want me to convince a guy to write scrips for a drug that costs $319 for a one-month supply that is chemically identical to one that costs $7.57? And basically the benefit is free tickets to baseball games and lunches at some pretty dope places? I think I'll take a hard pass on that. Thanks anyway.

@Stefanie the human: Sounds good if the surgery is for what I think it's for. Nice to sever the red tape! Congrats and best wishes! 

 

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Jesus, there is some shit going down on MLK Drive in the JC.  Six people killed in a shooting.  

I used to hang out in that part of town when I lived in Manhattan back in the late 90's to early 2000's.

I hope all of my Tri State peeps here are alright. 

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i don't post personal issues on here very often, but you folks are good-hearted and open and unfortunately have dealt with your own share of problems.

my wife is suffering from a pretty severe case of depression. She was diagnosed with depression and bi-polar when she was younger but it hasn't been severe for many years now. I'm looking for advice on the best ways to help her cope and treat it. 

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On 12/17/2019 at 1:41 PM, twiztor said:

i don't post personal issues on here very often, but you folks are good-hearted and open and unfortunately have dealt with your own share of problems.

my wife is suffering from a pretty severe case of depression. She was diagnosed with depression and bi-polar when she was younger but it hasn't been severe for many years now. I'm looking for advice on the best ways to help her cope and treat it. 

First step is to go back to the doctor for a new evaluation.  Don't self-diagnose these things.

Second step is to do what the doctor prescribes.  Perhaps the reason her condition is becoming more severe is because any meds she's might be taking now are not as effective as they used to be and maybe a new treatment is in order?

If you feel you can trust the doctor's regimen, then follow it.  Bad things happen when you rebel against sound medical advice.  My mom does it on the regular because she is ornery and thinks she knows better and then before you know it, my sister and I are with her in the fucking ER at two in the morning because she "forgets" to take her meds and her hypertension cranks up.

To caveat, if you guys don't trust the advice you're given, don't be afraid to get a second opinion.  There are doctors out there that can be a bit too meds happy or surgery happy, so be diligent and do a bit of online research on these people before you settle on a doctor of physician or whatnot.  You are the custodians of your own bodies and minds so you are the ones that decide what happens to them.

Edited by J.T.
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J.T.'s advice is solid.

The thing with mental health is that everyone's different. I can tell you what works for me but it may not work for her.

For me, when I'm in a depressive state, I need people I trust to reach out to me because I will get really insular. The whole "reach out if you need help" is great for the person offering help to feel better, but for me when I feel like I'm helpless and anything I do hurts someone, I won't reach out because I think it hurts them. This is specifically because I was raised in an abusive household where I was told everything was my fault, everything I did hurt someone, everything I did was wrong, so as a result when I get depressed, I shut down and try not to hurt anyone because that's what I was raised with and that's what was programmed into me. That means I need people to come to me, tell me I'm not a burden, there isn't anything wrong with me, et cetera. It's a lot to manage but it does snap me out of things better, and fortunately I have people who love me that are willing to do that for me. (I'm very grateful for that every time it happens, and luckily that's few and far between these days.)

If your wife's the same way, you probably need to be giving her a lot of reassurance right now. Basically, find the things that help her when she's in this state and keep mashing those buttons. Meds may work, talking it out may work, being told she's not a burden may work, maybe a combo of all of them work, but now's where you need to be listening to what she's responding positively to and deliver that to her regularly.

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12 hours ago, Super Weak Machine said:

The hair on top of my head went thin on me while I wasn't looking. Man, that hair was part of who I was. Now who am I?

Jimmy Valiant called to say that you are a "bald-headed geek".

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13 hours ago, Super Weak Machine said:

The hair on top of my head went thin on me while I wasn't looking. Man, that hair was part of who I was. Now who am I?

Apparently, you're Bald Super Weak Machine. 

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Hey, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Just got the shaggy back and sides trimmed and I feel like new. Having a load of dark hair hanging around makes it look so much worse than it is.

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In general OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE news, the dishwasher died yesterday afternoon.

I mean yes, the floor's clean now, but now I have to buy a new one, get it delivered, and hand wash everything until it shows up. 

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2 hours ago, JLSigman said:

In general OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE news, the dishwasher died yesterday afternoon.

I mean yes, the floor's clean now, but now I have to buy a new one, get it delivered, and hand wash everything until it shows up. 

Paper plates are your friend!

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On 12/21/2019 at 1:45 AM, Super Weak Machine said:

The hair on top of my head went thin on me while I wasn't looking. Man, that hair was part of who I was. Now who am I?

I noticed a thinning spot on the back of my head the last time I got my haircut. I'm not ready for losing hair yet. I was blessed with a nice, thick head of curly brown hair. My father isn't completely bald, but he does have a large bald spot on the back of his head. I know guys I went to high school with who were completely bald in their 20's.

As for important life issues, I'm still looking for a job after being unceremoniously dumped by the last company I was with. The depression has been up and down. Some days, I'm barely able to drag myself out of bed, but I still do. There haven't been any days I've just slept through. My psychiatrist also put me on a medication to help curb the cocaine cravings I had been having. Hopefully, I hear something on the job front after the new year.

I'm going to try to enjoy Christmas Eve with the Greek side of the family and Christmas Day with the Italian side. I got my Bullet Club Christmas sweater just in time, so I'll have pictures in that and my ELP-like LED glasses. 

Things aren't as good as they could be, but they could be a whole lot worse. Happy holidays and best wishes to my big, twisted DVDVR family. Let's make this year the best Festivus ever!

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie
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On 12/21/2019 at 1:45 AM, Super Weak Machine said:

The hair on top of my head went thin on me while I wasn't looking. Man, that hair was part of who I was. Now who am I?

 

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Just spent a couple hours with the person who's been my rock the last 8 years in Austin, who is moving to Kansas in a week for work.  We swear we will stay in touch and keep talking about playing Borderlands together or doing a pop culture exchange like a book or music club.  But she's moving, and when one of us is hurting we won't be able to reach out to each other and ask to meet up at the usual bar after work. She and her husband probably saved my life when T and I broke up, even as toxic as that relationship was by the end. And I'm nearly 43 and my social circle has greatly decayed in the last few years as people settle down and have kids and move to the suburbs, and I'm scared that I'm never again gonna have people who will encourage me to show up for a UFC, shoot the shit for a night and help me get home the next morning, and that nothing will replace that to make me not miss it.

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3 hours ago, Cliff Hanger said:

Just spent a couple hours with the person who's been my rock the last 8 years in Austin, who is moving to Kansas in a week for work.  We swear we will stay in touch and keep talking about playing Borderlands together or doing a pop culture exchange like a book or music club.  But she's moving, and when one of us is hurting we won't be able to reach out to each other and ask to meet up at the usual bar after work. She and her husband probably saved my life when T and I broke up, even as toxic as that relationship was by the end. And I'm nearly 43 and my social circle has greatly decayed in the last few years as people settle down and have kids and move to the suburbs, and I'm scared that I'm never again gonna have people who will encourage me to show up for a UFC, shoot the shit for a night and help me get home the next morning, and that nothing will replace that to make me not miss it.

It  doesn't help your problem, but you are always at home on the board.

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4 hours ago, Cliff Hanger said:

Just spent a couple hours with the person who's been my rock the last 8 years in Austin, who is moving to Kansas in a week for work.  We swear we will stay in touch and keep talking about playing Borderlands together or doing a pop culture exchange like a book or music club.  But she's moving, and when one of us is hurting we won't be able to reach out to each other and ask to meet up at the usual bar after work. She and her husband probably saved my life when T and I broke up, even as toxic as that relationship was by the end. And I'm nearly 43 and my social circle has greatly decayed in the last few years as people settle down and have kids and move to the suburbs, and I'm scared that I'm never again gonna have people who will encourage me to show up for a UFC, shoot the shit for a night and help me get home the next morning, and that nothing will replace that to make me not miss it.

Can't help with the physical logistics since I'm way over here in New Mexico, but if you want my number PM me. I don't mind calls from friends at odd hours. 

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Huge thanks to both @Matt Dand @OSJas both of you have been incredibly rad every time I hit a really down spot and talk about it here.  This has, by and large, been a really good decade for me--I finally got a job good enough to support myself and not rely on my parents or disability, I'm physically and emotionally healthier than I was when I first moved to ATX nearly a decade ago, I am by and large okay.  But if life is a series of hellos and goodbyes, this has been a very goodbye-heavy year, and I'm feeling it hard on my first solo NYE since 2012.

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2 minutes ago, Cliff Hanger said:

Huge thanks to both @Matt Dand @OSJas both of you have been incredibly rad every time I hit a really down spot and talk about it here.  This has, by and large, been a really good decade for me--I finally got a job good enough to support myself and not rely on my parents or disability, I'm physically and emotionally healthier than I was when I first moved to ATX nearly a decade ago, I am by and large okay.  But if life is a series of hellos and goodbyes, this has been a very goodbye-heavy year, and I'm feeling it hard on my first solo NYE since 2012.

My friend, I can think of a couple of hundred worse places to do a solo New Year's Eve than Austin fucking Texas!!! C'mon, man go out to a bar that you never been to before and meet some folks! From everything I remember (and it's been a couple of decades) Austin is one of the friendliest places I've ever been. They didn't even make fun of my Northwest accent...

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So apparently I've hit the "Fuck Yeah Socks!" stage of life. Honestly it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Kids got me a few things, gift cards, beef jerky, Yakuza 0, Kiwami 1 and 2, and Bloodstained. The wife got me a pair of Durangos while I got her that vacation she's always wanted. Also something unexpected. As of Jan. 1st 2020 I've been completely off weed for a entire year. Yay!...I guess. Lol it's a good thing. In 2018 the wife got me this HUGE bag of holiday oregano at Christmas. The kids were gone to their grandparents for a week a day after Christmas. So I'm just looking at this crazy huge bag and she comes in the room which starts this conversation:

Wife: "Hey babe, if I ask you for one more gift would you get it for me?"

Me: "No problem. What is it?"

Wife: "To not smoke in 2019." 

Me: "? That's no problem, but why the large..."

Wife: "I just thought about it. But I want to see if we can do this."

Me: "Alright. That's no problem. I'll just give some away and flush the rest." 

Wife: "Uhhh no. That still cost a fair deal of money. And it's your Christmas present."

Me: "Love. I know I can smoke a lot...but not even I can smoke 3 oz in 5 days." 

Wife: "I'll help you. This'll be the last for me for a while too."

Me: "Ummm love...you get a bit munchy when you smoke. Remember the last time we did something like this? The great Lucky Charms Cap'n Crunch massacre of 2013?"

Wife: *smiles* "You're not funny. But seriously..." 

Me: *smiles* "Ok. We'll do this. But how exactly? "

Wife: "Simple. On the wings of El Producto. Get your smoking jacket babe."

Me: "I don't have one...."

And so from about noon on the 26th until about 1030 on the 31st, there were clouds. There was also another cereal massacre, but we've been eating pretty healthy for about 3½ years now, and the only thing that happened is that we forgot how fiber works. But other than that it went off without a hitch. Jan. 1st 2019 came, and it was hard for about 2 weeks. I honestly thought the hangover was gonna be longer. Until at least March. But it wasn't and it didn't feel like a big deal anymore. We probably won't for a long time(if I were to say ever again that wouldn't sound crazy). She has her Yoga and soap making and I started back with exercising/martial arts again so yeah. Not as bad as I thought. Happy New Year everyone.

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Posted (edited)
On 12/17/2019 at 1:41 PM, twiztor said:

i don't post personal issues on here very often, but you folks are good-hearted and open and unfortunately have dealt with your own share of problems.

my wife is suffering from a pretty severe case of depression. She was diagnosed with depression and bi-polar when she was younger but it hasn't been severe for many years now. I'm looking for advice on the best ways to help her cope and treat it. 

Just be there. When I went through that I asked way too much of everyone around of me and no one even hesitated to help out. In retrospect, it's almost overwhelming how much it means to me. 

On a more practical level, I found that a good balance of an SSRI and medical cannabis is what works best for me, but everyone's body is different. I'd advise checking in with her GP and getting some blood work to rule out a physical cause as well. I myself found out that I have an extremely severe vitamin D deficiency that was contributing to some of my issues. Best of luck to you and the mrs.

Edited by Zakk_Sabbath
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