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Dolfan in NYC
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Rather minor in the scale of things, but I have a hole in my foot which is painful as hell. It started as a blood blister (which I don't know how or why I got) and then went deep. It isn't all the way through, but to call it a pretty deep puncture wound be accurate. As it seems to be getting worse (or at least more painful, I think a trip to the doc may be called for (much as I hate it, as he's going to say "I'm just a GP, so we'll get the wound specialist to look at this." Which means waiting around for hours as the wound specialist is also the wound specialist for the local hospital and after Saturday night there's generally no shortage of stab wounds to patch up... ? 

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3 hours ago, OSJ said:

Rather minor in the scale of things, but I have a hole in my foot which is painful as hell. It started as a blood blister (which I don't know how or why I got) and then went deep. It isn't all the way through, but to call it a pretty deep puncture wound be accurate. As it seems to be getting worse (or at least more painful, I think a trip to the doc may be called for (much as I hate it, as he's going to say "I'm just a GP, so we'll get the wound specialist to look at this." Which means waiting around for hours as the wound specialist is also the wound specialist for the local hospital and after Saturday night there's generally no shortage of stab wounds to patch up... ? 

I'm sure you're keeping it clean, but watch out so it doesn't get infected! Hydrogen peroxide that SOB. . . 

 

As for me, I'm writing my course syllabus for my five classes today, (in order of my day: Government, US history to 1877, US history to present, 7th grade geography(Eastern hemisphere,6th grade geography(western hemisphere) I have 1st prep and 7th is study hall.  I've had two weeks to do it, but I rarely can turn my brain on to do things too early. Its mostly in my head, and I have the scope and sequence on paper, so it shouldn't take that long. 

I stepped into a hornets nest with this job. I'm grateful to have it don't get me wrong, but its a school on a Native American reservation, so things are different, for good and ill. Most of the kids are tough nuts(They have shit lives, so I understand, if if its irritating) and I took over with two and a half weeks left in the first semester, and am their third teacher this year.  Both of their previous teachers were hacks as far as I can tell, the first being the popular coach, who does the minimum. That might be unfair to him, but he didn't file scope and sequences so I have no idea. The guy I took over for was my competition for the job, and had a English background, and was pissed that I wasn't certified yet.  He was the long term sub before I got there, and when I say he didn't know shit, trust me on it. The students also set a fire in the classroom a few days before the interview, so. . .  So, like him, I took over on the fly, and basically survived the last two weeks before break. 

This week will be my first week where its all on me, but i'm I'll do okay. School starts on the 13th, and I have my student teaching/curriculm project class, and one on exams. The program schedule had me taking the exams class in the summer, but I'm not going to pay for another semester out of my pocket(no student loans for less than half time) or waste my time with a three credit class for shits and giggles. Besides the instructor of the other class if pretty easy, I've had her a couple of times, and I don't anticipate much problems there. Both the good and bad news is this semester will likely be my busiest and toughest.

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My Mom unexpectedly passed away yesterday.  The place she was living called us that she had been acting kind of strange recently (But as had been the case with her dementia, didn’t seem too out of the ordinary). so my brother called her to say he was coming to visit and she seemed excited but wasn’t feeling too well so was going to lay down and take a nap.  She never woke up.  Half an hour later he walked in to find her peacefully laying in her bed.  He tried CRP and so did paramedics but she was already gone.  
 

Funnily enough, she had just gotten a clean bill of health from her doctor last week saying her heart and blood pressure was that of a 16 year old and he wouldn’t be surprised if she lived well into her 90’s.  
 

I know she’s in a better place now with her parents and her sisters and she can remember everything and is her full self again after everything that horrible disease did to her in the last couple years but it’s so hard.  Every time I woke up last night I had this slight moment where I thought yesterday was all just a dream and everything was normal but nothing is normal right now.  Leaving soon to go see her beautiful face one last time with my brothers and nephews and nieces. 

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I'm sorry for your loss, man.

I am also at that weird place where I think I may be losing one of my parents.   My dad's mental and physical health are in steady decline and my aunt is also not doing all that great either.  I think it's only a matter of time before either of them passes away and the thought really terrifies me.

My mom continues to tough it out, but she's got a shit ton of debilitating ailments, including fibromyalgia.  I'm not sure how much longer she'll be around.  Spouses in my family have a knack for dying soon after their husband / wife dies.

I'm not sure I'm ready to be the eldest generation in my family.

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On 12/17/2019 at 6:41 PM, twiztor said:

i don't post personal issues on here very often, but you folks are good-hearted and open and unfortunately have dealt with your own share of problems.

my wife is suffering from a pretty severe case of depression. She was diagnosed with depression and bi-polar when she was younger but it hasn't been severe for many years now. I'm looking for advice on the best ways to help her cope and treat it. 

Sorry to hear this, @twiztor. Speaking from my mental health experience, support of and understanding of loved ones is crucial. You're succeeding there. More people know about my depression here than away from the board as I only want some to know in the latter case. That's why I ask for it not to be brought up on Facebook. It's also trying to find the way or ways through the dark spells, even if it's brief. Hope this helps xxx.

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11 hours ago, J.T. said:

I'm sorry for your loss, man.

I am also at that weird place where I think I may be losing one of my parents.   My dad's mental and physical health are in steady decline and my aunt is also not doing all that great either.  I think it's only a matter of time before either of them passes away and the thought really terrifies me.

My mom continues to tough it out, but she's got a shit ton of debilitating ailments, including fibromyalgia.  I'm not sure how much longer she'll be around.  Spouses in my family have a knack for dying soon after their husband / wife dies.

I'm not sure I'm ready to be the eldest generation in my family.

Sorry, my friend xxx. Its unfair what life can throw at us.

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On 1/5/2020 at 11:55 AM, Kuetsar said:

 

I'm sure you're keeping it clean, but watch out so it doesn't get infected! Hydrogen peroxide that SOB. . . 

 

As for me, I'm writing my course syllabus for my five classes today, (in order of my day: Government, US history to 1877, US history to present, 7th grade geography(Eastern hemisphere,6th grade geography(western hemisphere) I have 1st prep and 7th is study hall.  I've had two weeks to do it, but I rarely can turn my brain on to do things too early. Its mostly in my head, and I have the scope and sequence on paper, so it shouldn't take that long. 

I stepped into a hornets nest with this job. I'm grateful to have it don't get me wrong, but its a school on a Native American reservation, so things are different, for good and ill. Most of the kids are tough nuts(They have shit lives, so I understand, if if its irritating) and I took over with two and a half weeks left in the first semester, and am their third teacher this year.  Both of their previous teachers were hacks as far as I can tell, the first being the popular coach, who does the minimum. That might be unfair to him, but he didn't file scope and sequences so I have no idea. The guy I took over for was my competition for the job, and had a English background, and was pissed that I wasn't certified yet.  He was the long term sub before I got there, and when I say he didn't know shit, trust me on it. The students also set a fire in the classroom a few days before the interview, so. . .  So, like him, I took over on the fly, and basically survived the last two weeks before break. 

This week will be my first week where its all on me, but i'm I'll do okay. School starts on the 13th, and I have my student teaching/curriculm project class, and one on exams. The program schedule had me taking the exams class in the summer, but I'm not going to pay for another semester out of my pocket(no student loans for less than half time) or waste my time with a three credit class for shits and giggles. Besides the instructor of the other class if pretty easy, I've had her a couple of times, and I don't anticipate much problems there. Both the good and bad news is this semester will likely be my busiest and toughest.

School on the Nez Perce res? Teach the classes from the kids' POV, you'll probably get fired, but you'll be the best teacher those kids will ever have...

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3 hours ago, OSJ said:

School on the Nez Perce res? Teach the classes from the kids' POV, you'll probably get fired, but you'll be the best teacher those kids will ever have...

ShoBan, actually(Shosone Bannock). The history classes aren't a problem, and they said in the interview they want me to cover native history. I have to learn it first of course, but I have a native history book next in my queue. The problem is these jr high kids. I know they  have had a really hard life, but they usually won't shut up long enough for me to give instructions. . . . 

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1 hour ago, Super Weak Machine said:

I had a couple wisdom teeth out yesterday. They only had to pull 'em so there was no cutting and I can barely feel I even had anything done now, but this lack of solid food is driving me bonkers.

Dude, you're doing it wromg; scrips for percocet and nubile dental assistants that know how to turn on the nitrous machine (among other things) after hours are the best.

Repeat after me:: "My gums are very sensitive, and I am allergic to ibuprofen and naproxen, both make nauseous , what else ya got?  Wait for response, should contain the prefix "hydro" or "perco" in the name... You respond with: "Oooh... Is that a narcotic? Are you sure that it's safe? I guess that enough for four or five days should be okay, I'll get a ride to and from work anyway!" 

Just heard this from a friend...

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2 hours ago, Control said:

My dog is dying and it suuuuuuuuucks

Man, I am so sorry. Try to make it as comfortable a transition as possible. In Seattle our vet was really cool, when it was time for one of our babies to go he made a house call on his way home from work. Totally unexpected, but if you don't ask you'll never know... I don't know what your relationship with your vet is like, but we're talking close to twenty years and six or seven cats.

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22 hours ago, OSJ said:

Man, I am so sorry. Try to make it as comfortable a transition as possible. In Seattle our vet was really cool, when it was time for one of our babies to go he made a house call on his way home from work. Totally unexpected, but if you don't ask you'll never know... I don't know what your relationship with your vet is like, but we're talking close to twenty years and six or seven cats.

Are you saying your vet did drop-in euthanasia?

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We put our dog down today. It fucking sucks.

Rationally, I know it was the right move. He became lethargic and lost his appetite at the start of the New Year (like, New Year's day, really). We took him in to deal with that, and they tested him for the standard causes and gave us some meds to deal with the symptoms. While we were treating him, he went blind. When we took him back to the vet, they discovered that he was also anemic. More drugs, more bloodwork didn't find a cause. And then his kidneys started to fail. Though they still didn't identify the cause, his symptoms suggest gastrointestinal lymphoma. Even to get properly tested for that, though, he had to gain strength, and so this last weekend we gave him even more meds and force-fed him for two days, which was fucking awful. He also started shitting blood. At that point we decided that it was best to say goodbye. Even if he got better (and he wasn't getting better), he'd be extending his life to likely get his eyes removed (there was too much pressure) and chemo and other surgeries that might not work.

So, realistically I know it was the right choice, but emotionally it feels like we gave up on him. Because he never stopped being happy. At the vet's this morning he was wagging his tail and giving the vet kisses. It just felt wrong, and now I feel like dogshit.

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22 hours ago, Control said:

We put our dog down today. It fucking sucks.

@Control  I'm sorry, man.

We also had to put one of our Yorkies down yesterday.  Bandit was suffering from renal failure, so it was just a matter of time before he died.  He couldn't hold down any solid food and he was rapidly losing weight.  It was either have him put to sleep or watch him slowly starve to death if dehydration did not kill him first. 

We all spent time loving on him yesterday.  He chilled with me in the early afternoon watching Godzilla movies on Comet.  After that, he slept by my Mom while she had brunch in bed, and then my sister put Bandit in a dog bed and he rested nearby while she graded papers.

We didn't want him to pass away in a room full of nurses and doctors, so we were all there when the time came.  It was hard to watch, even though we knew it was for the best.

After that we said our goodbyes and the vet placed him in a box that looked like a small coffin.  Strangely, it made us feel better that the box was shaped that way.  It felt like we were giving Bandit the homegoing he deserved.  it gave Bandit some much needed dignity.  I dug a hole near the house in a spot where we have buried other family pets (there is a cross and a stone memorial marker there), laid Bandit to rest and poured out a shot glass of fine Jamaican rum for the guy.  

It was sad because the two Yorkies have been incredible companions for my mom now that my dad is suffering from dementia, so it was extra painful to see mom deal with her grief.  Still, love can be selfish at times and my mom was talking about spending a couple thousand dollars on treatments that probably wouldn't have worked anyway since Bandit's kidney disease was so advanced. 

She wasn't going to spend the money to save Bandit; she was going to spend it because she wasn't prepared to say good-bye.  However, prepared or not, Bandit didn't have much time left and it was painfully obvious..  The best thing to do for Bandit was to let him go.

I'm sad for you and I know it sucks.  It sucks for me, too, but I know that Bandit is not suffering anymore and living in fear of something bad that is happening to him that he doesn't comprehend. 

I think you are fortunate because at least your dog never stopped being happy.  Bandit was miserable and you could see it in his face, but he was brave and he was always at peace when he was with one of us.  I'm glad that you didn't allow your love to be selfish and let your dog get to the point where he was in pain and wasn't happy anymore.  I think you did the right thing because you can remember him and his kisses and his wagging tail.  You didn't take him to the vet as a shadow of his former self.  I think you would feel worse than you do now, if you allowed your companion to waste away before you made your final decision.

Your friend is in a better place and you chose mercy over your own wants.  That is courageous thing you did and I hope it gives you comfort.

I feel badly for the surviving Yorkie.  If Gypsy is not careful, my mom will have her locked in a glass box for the rest of her life.

Edited by J.T.
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16 minutes ago, J.T. said:

@Control  I'm sorry, man.

I'm sad for you and I know it sucks.  It sucks for me, too, but I know that Bandit is not suffering anymore and living in fear of something bad that is happening to him that he doesn't comprehend. 

I think you are fortunate because at least your dog never stopped being happy.  Bandit was miserable and you could see it in his face, but he was brave and he was always at peace when he was with one of us.  I'm glad that you didn't allow your love to be selfish and let your dog get to the point where he was in pain and wasn't happy anymore.  I think you did the right thing because you can remember him and his kisses and his wagging tail.  You didn't take him to the vet as a shadow of his former self.  I think you would feel worse than you do now, if you allowed your companion to waste away before you made your final decision.

Your friend is in a better place and you chose mercy over your own wants.  That is courageous thing you did and I hope it gives you comfort.

 

Thanks, man. That actually helps a lot. Honestly, even typing it all out assuaged my guilt: I realized that it was absolutely time for him to go. My wife (who is not taking it well, at all) actually looked up some online discussions of when to put your dog down, etc., and they all said that it's pretty normal to feel guilt. It's just profoundly weird and weighty to make a decision to end something's life.

Like you, we stayed there for the procedure, so Ollie died in my wife's arms with me holding his paw. It was quick and painless, but it's still very disconcerting to see your pet transform from a living being into a corpse. We decided to get him cremated, and the vet's office makes some cards with imprints of his paws for us.

I hope your other dog deals with it OK. I've only ever had cats, and when the older cat died, the younger cat's behaviour changed quite a bit.

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5 hours ago, Control said:

 We decided to get him cremated, and the vet's office makes some cards with imprints of his paws for us.

We are African-American backsliding Baptists, man.   We don't do cremations.  We do funerals.. uh... celebrations of life. ?

You know me so you know that inappropriate humor is my chosen defense mechanism.  It usually betrays how much I am actually hurting.

Anyway, I am glad you are doing this.   Ceremonies are not for the dead; they are therapy for the living.   Having his imprints will be the vehicle that allows you to remember your friend during happier times and it may help your wife better process her grief.

My sister helped my mom turn a photo of her and Bandit into a backsplash for her phone.  I think it will help.  She will see the picture and remember Bandit as the fiercely protective companion that felt he was ten times bigger than he actually was rather than the listless shell of a soul that could barely stand on his own.

5 hours ago, Control said:

I hope your other dog deals with it OK. I've only ever had cats, and when the older cat died, the younger cat's behaviour changed quite a bit.

Right now, Gypsy is confused.   She knows we left with Bandit and is still trying to figure out why we did not come back with him.  She knows something is not quite right.

Animals are smart so I think for better or worse it will dawn on her over the next few days that Bandit is gone.  She moped around the house when we had to put the Min Pin (RIP Duke.  I love you, buddy.) down about a year ago, so I have no idea how Gypsy will react to being the only pet companion in the house especially since despite her size, she was solidly the mother hen of the dog trio.  She wasn't just used to being in a group; she was used to being the boss and the easiest way to get some body part on you bit by Bandit and Duke was to mistreat Gypsy.  Bandit and Duke were as protective of her as they were of my mother.

Knowing me, I'll probably feel sorry for Gypsy if she starts looking depressed and I'll do something stupid like fix myself a steak on Friday and make time to slash off the tenderloin and dice it up for her.

Edited by J.T.
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