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Hell in a Cell XI - 10/6/2019


Dolfan in NYC

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I mean, my god. Who in the hell thought this was a good idea? The stupid thing is that you might be able to pull that ending off in a regular match setting up the blow off in the cell, but how do you expect people not to shit all over this? People were SCREAMING for Seth to lose and wwe said “fuck you”. This is one of the dumbest things I have seen any company do. 

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What is so hard about putting the title on the Fiend?

Bayley loses her title match to Charlotte Flair, but Becky retains and makes Sasha tap out.   Fuck this PPV.

I think the only thing I am happy about is heel Asuka going full Muta and misting her way to tag team gold for the Kabuki Warriors.

Oh, and SHORTY GABLE, MOTHER FUCKERS~!

Edited by J.T.
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4 minutes ago, J.T. said:

What is so hard about putting the title on the Fiend?

Bayley loses her title match  but Becky retains.   Fuck this PPV.

I think the only thing I am happy about is heel Asuka going full Muta and misting her way to tag team gold for the Kabuki Warriors.

Oh, and SHORTY GABLE, MOTHER FUCKERS~!

Asuka brings back the Muta Mist and Roddy Piper-esque Eye Gouge antics from Kairi Sane.

I was going to point out how thinking doing cool shit like that is going to turn the Kabukis heel is the best illustration of how tone deaf 2019 WWE is....

 

...but then, yeah, Vince told me to hold his beer apparently.

 

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I may as well just start with the main event. WWE is officially in Russo booking WCW territory now if they weren't there already. I joked repeatedly that WWE would fuck this up and they did. First you have the stupid ass red lights up for the whole match WITH A RED CAGE TO BOOT! Thankfully for us, there's cameramen inside the cell. For everyone else? You're probably miserable. The rest of this match was like one of those theme park stunt shows for a live audience, but this one was horror themed. Then came the mallet. The giant, cartoonishly big mallet that looked like something Bray pulled out of Bugs Bunny's pants. That mallet looked stupid as fuck. Then came the ending. I could tell early on Bray wasn't going to win. This just made it official when he ate one curbstomp after another. Then there's all of the weapons shots to the head (even if they're protected) and Vince just a month or so ago was shitting on Cody for taking a chairshot to the head. Then came the DQ finish in a Hell in a Cell match. Midway through they killed the crowd, but man, this was maybe one of the most hostile crowds I've seen in awhile. WWE is fucking dead.

The only way they can salvage this is if Vince, HHH, Stephanie, and others come out at the start of Raw and say that they're sorry. Last night wasn't their best effort and they apologize for insulting the fans intelligence for so long. They need to tell them they can be better and they need a new direction. I know this all sounds like the last time they cut a promo like that, but they owe their entire audience an apology.

This fucking company.

Other than that, Becky vs Sasha was good until the finish. What the fuck is the point of keeping the title on Becky when Sasha can be there as a strong opponent. I shouldn't be that surprised because Sasha and Bayley have lost to Becky and Charlotte twice now I think, but still. This company is so fucking stupid.

Roman and DB winning was cool.

I actually don't care if Bayley lost the title. It's not as important for her to keep the title as it is for Sasha to win the other one.

And then there's the Kabuki Warriors...I was fine with the finish to that match until Meltzer pointed out how that was supposed to be a heel turn. If that's the case, then how can your primary job be booking wrestling for so long and yet you now have no idea how to book wrestling.

The rest of the show was whatever. I just can't believe that main event. Easily one of the worst things I've seen in awhile. They killed Bray and Seth. And Pritchard can say some bullshit like Bray doesn't need the title and that can be their mindset or whatever the fuck, but they're full of shit.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall in gorilla when the ending of that match was happening.

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This was indefensible.

There's a problem when you have a good match that instantly fails solely because the wrong guy won it. 

It's not even just one indefensible move, but how every move of the fall culminated in being booked into a corner. If The Fiend challenges for the title at HIAC, then either you have to have The Fiend win and Rollins lose.

If Rollins had to not lose to The Fiend, then Strowman should have beaten him- but then you turned Strowman heel, and the heel/heel match also is booking into a corner where Strowman can't lose either. 

This isn't just normal "The Wrong Guy Won", but a vast tapestry of utter shit that leads to the most booked into a corner match in wrestling history and proof "if they're both booked into a corner, DON'T BOOK THE MATCH". It's almost beautiful how badly WWE fucked themselves over with this match.   

 

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53 minutes ago, BobbyWhioux said:

Asuka brings back the Muta Mist and Roddy Piper-esque Eye Gouge antics from Kairi Sane.

I was going to point out how thinking doing cool shit like that is going to turn the Kabukis heel is the best illustration of how tone deaf 2019 WWE is....

Asuka's always had a mean streak even when she was supposedly a face, so this was a pretty unsurprising transition for her and Heel Io Shirai has been great on an otherwise blah NXT television run, so why not let Sane follow suit and push the Kabuki's as heels? 

Embrace the traditional racism of foreign heels in pro wrasslin and celebrate their win.  Let the Kabuki's be vicious and beat the living shit out of girls for our amusement in the proud Japanese tradition of Mayumi Ozaki and Akira Hokuto.

You almost had to pull the trigger on that since Alexa Bliss has become a gigantic babyface in spite of herself since running with Nikki Cross.  Who saw THAT coming?

Edited by J.T.
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2 minutes ago, J.T. said:

You almost had to pull the trigger on that since Alexa Bliss has become a gigantic babyface in spite of herself since running with Nikki Cross.  Who saw THAT coming?

I'm so glad they've resisted the urge I know they must have to split Alexa and Nikki, at least up to this point. This is the most interesting Alexa's been in years. The two work well together and the audience has accepted it. They should run with them as friends for the foreseeable future whether in singles or tags. And if one of them MUST eventually turn (which shouldn't happen), they should make it Nikki.

But it's WWE, so probably they'll split up tomorrow or something. Or the draft will split them. I don't know.

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All the sycophants on Twitter, put your damn money where your mouth is on Wednesday night. You got your alternative now. Stop enabling Vince.

Just like the moron braindead fans who cheered when Stephanie declared "YOU ARE THE AUTHORITY!"

 

Oh Meltzer you clever scamp.

 

Edited by TheVileOne
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Just now, TheVileOne said:

All the sycophants on Twitter, put your damn money where your mouth is on Wednesday night. You got your alternative now. Stop enabling Vince.

Just like the moron braindead fans who cheered when Stephanie declared "YOU ARE THE AUTHORITY!"

The problem I see is AEW is running opposite NXT. So they'd likely just blame NXT's quality for AEW beating it in ratings and think whatever garbage they put on Raw/Smackdown is still fine.

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5 minutes ago, CastleVania Rey said:

The problem I see is AEW is running opposite NXT. So they'd likely just blame NXT's quality for AEW beating it in ratings and think whatever garbage they put on Raw/Smackdown is still fine.

I say good at this point. If NXT has to be the Theon Greyjoy in all of this, so be it. 

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More Twitter goodness. Also, yeah, if I'm Matt Jackson I'm rolling up my sleeves and eating this shit up right now. However, it means they got to hit it out of the park these next few weeks. These next four weeks are gonna be key. They can't get lazy.

FYI, here's the Mankind vs. Kane Hell in a Cell match from August 24, 1998 Raw. Ends in a DQ/No Contest type finish. Also, just realize that Foley worked this match just like two months after what happened to him at KOTR 1998. Freaking insane.

 

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2 minutes ago, Casey said:

WWE is saying the match ended due to referee stoppage and there’s no winner.

That's even worse.

That also seemed to be what that moron Matt Camp was trying to pass off on that watch along show too. It seemed like he knew what the finish would be.

Edited by TheVileOne
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2 minutes ago, Casey said:

WWE is saying the match ended due to referee stoppage and there’s no winner.

And hear I thought that HIAC was always supposed to be No DQ, but I forgot about the whole Brock Lesnar screwjob booking thing.

I am sadder and wiser.

Edited by J.T.
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