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ALL-ENCOMPASSING T-SHIRT AND MERCHANDISE THREAD


MORELOCK

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10 hours ago, piranesi said:

As in all things, they play the long game.  You may think you won but cat bites are like 70% likely to get a horrific infection because their teeth are like little hypodermic needles.

You will laugh and then in a week you'll have MRSA of the eyeball.

 

That said, I have one of the most adorably gregarious and needy cats in the world. She even plays fetch, although she takes a moment to practice murdering whatever I'm throwing to her each time.

My cat was stolen. ): 

Who steals a cat?

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18 minutes ago, Victator said:

My cat was stolen. ): 

Who steals a cat?

I had a cat stolen by a guy in the same building I was living in. Found out later he had a rep for grabbing stray cats and trying to sell them online, which seems like a tough way to make a living. Went to the police and they didn't care, so my roommate and I broke into his apartment and took him back. The only time I've ever taken part in vigilante justice.

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1 minute ago, elizium said:

I had a cat stolen by a guy in the same building I was living in. Found out later he had a rep for grabbing stray cats and trying to sell them online, which seems like a tough way to make a living. Went to the police and they didn't care, so my roommate and I broke into his apartment and took him back. The only time I've ever taken part in vigilante justice.

I'm also certain he is in the next building. But I let it go because I am afraid I will beat someone to pulp and go to jail.

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6 hours ago, Victator said:

I'm also certain he is in the next building. But I let it go because I am afraid I will beat someone to pulp and go to jail.

When it comes to my harming my cats, I am 100% certain I would lose my mind and attempt to kill somebody. I'd try to impale them like the Berzerker tried to do to Taker.

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Might as well repost my old wallaby story from Facebook.

Quote

The one with the wallaby and the Penthouse limousine

 

Some of y'all know my dad owned a limo business in the 80s/90s... he had a lot of cool clients (Johnny Cash, ZZ Top, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Iron Maiden, Roger Miller, Goose Gossage, Dominique Wilkins), a few not cool ones (Miles Davis) and all and sundry in between. Penthouse Magazine definitely counted in the "cool" column, especially when Dad would get me a signed glossy from the odd Pet he drove now and then.

 

One month Penthouse is doing some sort of feature on Australia, so Bob Guccione brings in a wallaby and his handler. Because BOB GUCCIONE. That night I get a phone call from Dad who explains the deal and invites me out the next morning before school to see the wallaby. Why not, says I.

 

Get up early the next morning, Dad picks me up in the Penthouse limo and shuttles me down to the Omni Park Central where we meet Joey and his handler, a boisterous chap right out of central casting. Seriously the most Australian man on the planet, down to the khakis and the digger hat. We head over to Central Park and the South Lawn so Joey can stretch his legs a bit... they are nifty little critters, and there's something soothing about watching him hop around back and forth, especially as he's interacting with someone's dog who has no idea what the hell kind of animal this is. (Somewhere there's a roll of film Dad shot of me with Joey and his man... cool as hell.)

 

After 10-15 minutes, it's time for Joey to report to the set so we all get back in the limo and head over to the Penthouse building. Suddenly, Joey's handler bellows:

 

"JOEY! YOU'VE SHAT ALL OVER THE NICE MAN'S CAR!"

 

Yep, Joey had a messy indiscretion in Bob Guccione's limo.

 

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1 hour ago, thee Reverend Axl Future said:

Not to pile on, but I reserve my interWeb pronouncement until I see his bellybutton's expression. If it is not sufficiently dour, I will give it a thumbs down.

- RAF

Cue Seinfeld reference in 3....2....

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