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2019 HORROR MOVIE THREAD

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I remember somehow convincing my mom to let me rent ANoES 2 and I remember being so terrified in advance of the lore of Freddy movies that I literally watched the main character get on the bus and then just gave up right then and there before anything remotely scary happens in fear of what I was too young to be watching anyways. 

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17 hours ago, Brian Fowler said:

Halloween is a virtually perfect film. But by '88 when they brought it back, they were basically doing as much a knock off of Friday as it was a sequel to Halloween. Which is fine by me.

The Nightmare movies had so much more budget, so much more ambition. Which was great until it was terrible.

I'm young enough I didn't come to any of them until into the 90's (the fact that cable didn't run down our road until 94 plays a role there as well) 

As a dipshit kid at the time (cuz let's face it all kids are dipshits) I was way more into Nightmare than either Friday or Halloween. As I got older and re-watched some of them I realized just how wrong my initial impressions of them were. While most of the Nightmare series is perfectly enjoyable popcorn fare, none of them (save for New Nightmare) are really what I would classify as GOOD. Halloween on the other hand, I have grown to appreciate much more. Particularly for Donald Pleasance (though it's a shame he had to go out with that dumpster fire that was Halloween 6). H20 was a perfectly fine 90s, Scream-style slasher film and I thought there may be some hope but then Resurrection came out and (ironically because of the name) killed the franchise. Then I had a bad fever dream that Rob Zombie did a shitty remake which thankfully never really happened (SHUT UP IT NEVER HAPPENED!)

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Look, Halloween is probably my actual favorite movie ever. It's certainly the one I watch the most often.

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My uncle rented the first Nightmare on Elm Street when I was five and me, my brother, mom and dad watched it with my uncle, who had already seen it. The main thing I remember is that being my introduction to the concept of spoilers as my dad talked about how much he hated watching movies with my uncle (mom's baby brother) because he tells you everything that's about to happen if he's already seen something and ruins it. 

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2 minutes ago, FluffSnackwell said:

My uncle rented the first Nightmare on Elm Street when I was five and me, my brother, mom and dad watched it with my uncle, who had already seen it. The main thing I remember is that being my introduction to the concept of spoilers as my dad talked about how much he hated watching movies with my uncle (mom's baby brother) because he tells you everything that's about to happen if he's already seen something and ruins it. 

Doing that to a horror movie is just... Ugh. 

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4 hours ago, nate said:

I imagine the knives-for-fingers would be replaced with sex toys.

Now this is in my head.

If I'm not mistaken, that Original Video Junkie blog reviewed such a movie and yes, the blade-fingered glove was changed to a dildo-fingered glove instead.  

Update. Yep, they reviewed it along with Halloween porn parodies and all the Avengers parodies.

http://www.videojunkie.org/

Just go to the site and search for:

Spoiler

A Wet Dream On Elm Street (2011).

 

Edited by FluffSnackwell
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That's a good title for it, if nothing else.

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I knew I read about that somewhere! Anyway, here's a line from the review and from the movie that I have to steal because it's that funny. 

Quote

Post-sex, the girl rolls over to complement her partner and discovers Freddy (Anthony Rosano) in her bed.  No joke, we then get one of the most intentionally funny lines I’ve ever heard in a porno.  Looking at the burnt man laying next to her, the girl gets excited and exclaims, “Oh my God! You’re Edward James Olmos.  I can’t believe it.  I’m such a huge fan.”

😂

Anyway, I just got back from a Fathom screening of 3 From Hell. Didn't stick around for the behind-the-scenes stuff and no free posters in sight, but the movie was good. Basically, if you liked The Devil's Rejects you'll like this, because it's another movie of the Fireflys on the run yet again after they incredulously survive the shootout at the end of the previous film and land behind bars. The new Firefly member has great chemistry with Bill Moseley and even Zombie's barely tolerable wife thankfully starts to ease back on the throttle after the prison scenes. Sid Haig sadly goes out with a whimper instead of a bang. I honestly think he told Zombie this was it and that's why they wrote it like they did. Plenty of sleazy side roles and the typical solid gore and retro soundtrack, including Rob's tribute to Manhunter. 

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17 minutes ago, Curt McGirt said:

Sid Haig sadly goes out with a whimper instead of a bang. I honestly think he told Zombie this was it and that's why they wrote it like they did.

The story is Sid was supposed to be a big part but Rob had to beg just to get him for the bit he got. He was super sick by the time they started filming. 

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He knew then. Shame Rob couldn't have written a better send-off speech for him. 

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EDIT: Oh no there are a ton of these. My buddy just texted this to me and I thought that was all... sadly, no. I just watched a Slashstreet Boys (yes, Slashstreet Boys) one...

Edited by Curt McGirt
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Hoo boy. I set up Deranged to be recorded on Comet and they must've cut about half the movie out. Why'd they even bother showing it? 

It is still really freaky seeing the old man from Home Alone play Ed Gein though

Edited by Curt McGirt

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You can't trust Pluto or some of these other apps to show the gory stuff either. I noticed that in From Beyond, they removed the eyeball scene. 

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Aw man I just remembered that Prison and The Beast Within were on Comet. They better not have butchered those, too...

EDIT: Crap AND From Beyond as well

Edited by Curt McGirt

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12 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

Aw man I just remembered that Prison and The Beast Within were on Comet. They better not have butchered those, too...

EDIT: Crap AND From Beyond as well

Comet tones down the blood letting for vanilla episodes of Hammer House of Horror, so I know they probably wouldn't let the grimier stuff from Beast Within or From Beyond slide.

I'm sorta hoping they will adapt El Rey's policy of loosening the censorship restrictions after 9 or 10 PM.

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HALLOWEEN HORROR-THON UPDATE 4

MOVIE 10: ONE CUT OF THE UNDEAD

So straight up this isn't really a horror film. But it counts because it's a fucking love letter to the genre and one of the greatest movies I'll see this year. If you have SHUDDER, you absolutely should watch this now. We were HOWLING and celebrating the whole final act. I don't want to give too much away about it, so fucking watch it.

MOVIE 11: BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON

It's been a while and this one still holds up. My wife also thought it was one of the better ones I've inflicted upon her. I didn't remember that what's his fuck from Walking Dead is the mentor. I think that family and how supportive they were was the best part of the movie. That and Robert Englund. I hear they're finally making another one. I think it might be too late for me, but I'm intrigued. 

MOVIE 12:  MONSTER SQUAD

Watched this with the kids. There's obvious growing pains like the use of the f-word a couple times out of the beginning but I think the main strength of this movie is the atmosphere. On this viewing I realized I'm in love with the IDEA of Monster Squad - not really the movie any more. The love is strong, but I find myself just kind of shaking my head at certain things and realizing it's not exactly as cool as I thought it was. Maybe it's the Stranger Things effect, in which they distilled those nostalgic feelings into whole seasons of TV and the original inspirations can't necessarily hold up.

MOVIE 13: EMELIE

Watched this on a weird whim. Glad I did. This movie is fucking horrifying if you're a parent. Basically a couple of parents hire a babysitter who isn't who she says she is. She then does shit to the three kids that made me so fucking uncomfortable. Like the kind of shit that make you think "Doesn't matter how this ends those kids might be fucked up forever." The ending felt highly restrained by budget, but it really doesn't matter. The creepiness and fucked up-ness is all that matters. Check it out if you need a quick fix and can't figure out what to watch. It's on the Netflix.

MOVIE 14: HELL HOUSE LLC

I've never seen this. I'm of two minds about it. One one hand I feel like it could have used some RESTRAINT. There were certain scares and gags that thought, "Man if they just dialed that back it would really last." Instead it feels like a home run derby of found footage. It's exciting to watch, but it's not nearly as memorable as a dramatic game. There are some genuinely GREAT scares in this. On the other hand, if it didn't go balls out on everything, I don't think it would exist. 

There's also a lot of "what the fuck are you doing, just bail." moments but that's par for the found footage course. I think I'm at a stage where I just let that shit go. 

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I will thank whatever Gods you might believe in that New Nightmare broke up that string of absolute suck.

Oh, and here's Curse to bring it right back.

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The Cabin in the Woods is on right now and I swear the guy playing the Pinhead imitation with sawblades sticking in his face is Ryan Reynolds.

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I drove up to MD, spend nearly all day at Maryland DMV, and then drove back to VA.

I was good for The Uninvited and half of The Haunting and then I passed out.

I was smart enough to set the DVR to catch Kuroneko before going to bed.

Edited by J.T.

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I watched almost all of The Fog and was reminded why it's my favorite Carpenter movie. That one casts a spell. 

Meanwhile, Poltergeist is the same Spielbergian claptrap it's always been. I switched to The Silence of the Lambs on Logo with the quickness.

Edited by Curt McGirt
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Friday VII: The New Blood is on. If I was Tina, I'd just rip Jason's body into little pieces with my telekinetic powers, or make him explode like he was John Cassavetes in The Fury. There. Problem solved.

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On ‎10‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 5:31 PM, jaedmc said:

MOVIE 10: ONE CUT OF THE UNDEAD

So straight up this isn't really a horror film. But it counts because it's a fucking love letter to the genre and one of the greatest movies I'll see this year. If you have SHUDDER, you absolutely should watch this now. We were HOWLING and celebrating the whole final act. I don't want to give too much away about it, so fucking watch it.

Was in Austin last month and had planned to go see this at an Alamo Drafthouse… but waited too long and it sold out.  It's in the running for my worst moment of the year.

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