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The Justin Newbould Memorial Christmas Chaos


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" Fowler's not the only one who picked a Christmas-themed movie... :ph34r: " 

" I was thinking something similar for Christmas could be cool."  
- Newb82, Halloween Havoc 2013.
 
 
I did not know Justin and do not recall ever interacting with him on here. But from reading the thread in Land of Confusion and visiting his Facebook page, it is very clear that he touched a lot of lives. In fact, I believe I envy him a bit. I'm a 51-year old man who has known many people but been close to very few. I enjoy the time I spend around here. It is a nice distraction from the travails of life. But, perhaps because of my age and when I finally got around to exploring the internet, I am not really a social media aficionado. I do not have my phone constantly in my hand. I do not do twitter, snapchat, instagram, what have you. I have 49 Facebook friends and the majority of them are people I know or have met irl. I am signed up on a handful of other forums but my total posts probably don't amount to ten. I have never really considered this place a part of my social life. But perhaps I'm kidding myself. Because I get invested in the conversations, debates, and arguments just like anyone else. Because I find myself liking or not liking people I have never met. This is a pretty good community. I have visited a few other forums, wrestling related and otherwise, and more often than not, they are about 90% snark and venom. Don't even know why people would bother. But here the snark is generally good-natured and the venom minimal. I have exactly one person on ignore. Not for any conflict I had with them, but because they posted something so gross I decided life was too short to read any further. For the most part this is a place with a lot of good people. And in that mix there are some that stand out as people you'd kind of like to know personally. From reading his posts, Justin seems like he was that type of guy.   He was rich with family and friends that are still thinking about him and talking about him and posting about him to this day.  So Merry Christmas, Justin. We pick up your idea and carry it forward in your honor and memory, to be enjoyed by those here that knew you and those that didn't and are poorer for it.
 
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Film: The Ref.
Chosen by: driver
 

"My choice is The Ref. Plain and simple I fell in love with this movie twenty plus years ago. It struck me as the perfect Christmas comedy. That may be overstating it a bit, but I do enjoy it.

 
Reviewed by: Ultimo Necro
 

Here is my review.  Happy Holidays!

The Ref (1994)

By Ultimo Necro

Spoiler - this film is not about Earl Hebner.

I love random Christmas movies, even as a kid I appreciated the likes of Scrooged and enjoyed the darker elements of Holiday time. Bad Santa remains a personal holiday favorite, there's something about dark humor at this time of year that really appeals to me. Maybe coming from poor family where my Dad had alcohol issues, sometimes, particularly in my teenage years Christmas wasn't exactly a fun place to be around my house.

The Ref came out in 1994, ironically the same year my parents got divorced. At the time I was a 14 year old Ultimo Necro, had blonde 'Cobain' hair, spent my days skateboarding, watching wrestling, playing football and doing very little else with my life. I'm almost certain I watched this movie back in 1995 or 1996 when it came out on VHS but I had very little recollection of it, other than Dennis Leary being the main star, prior to rewatching. During the mid 1990's Leary was a guy I greatly enjoyed, I had his stand up special on VHS and it would get passed around my slacker friends alongside Bill Hicks and Henry Rollins tapes. His material played very much into my angry teenage white boy mentality at the time. It was kind of weird going back and revisiting him. Other than the Ice Age movies I don't think I've seen him in all that much over the past decade.

I had no memory of Kevin Spacey being in this film, but there he is, giving a suitably uptight performance. The biggest surprise of all was seeing Arlo Givens (Raymond J Barry) playing the Chief of Police. He isn't the film all that much but gets deliver one of the great lines in the film, which in all fairness could have been an Arlo Givens line... “I fucked your wife... three times”. I'm sure Raylan would be proud.

The movie starts out like a very dark Home Alone, suburban Connecticut, Christmas decorations, people all around enjoying the holiday season, big houses and a couple of cat burglars (one being Leary) robbing a large home. One remains lookout while Leary breaks in and eventually falls foul to a Kevin McAllister style booby trap. Upon making his escape he meets (takes hostage) Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey, a bickering husband and wife on the brink of a divorce. Leary forces them to take him to their house to hide out and over the next 90 minutes the stakes are slowly raised in the search for Leary's character Gus, while Gus gives the couple the type of tough love they are not receiving from their counselor.

Even though on the surface the film is a Home Invasion / Hostage movie, there are no real high stakes in the film, despite the premise. It's billed as a 'dark comedy', but Leary is never truly in danger of being caught by the cops, nobody is at risk of death or harm and there appears to be no consequences to anything, there's not much to keep you on edge. The humor isn't particularly dark either, the main gag running through the film relates to Gus smelling of cat piss which is a 10.0 on the Vince McMahon scale, I think VKM may have watched this before sending Spud on his latest adventure, “Linda, Linda, c'mere, you gotta see this, this burglar guy... He stinks of piss... hahahaha, I gotta get one of the boys with this one”.

Yes, there are laughs to be had, but again the film isn't all that comedic, there are long stretches with lots of dialogue, its quite a “light” dark comedy as I've ever seen. Most of the humor comes from laughing at the pettiness of the couple. The film has such a weird dynamic. Rather than being a true dark comedy the film could be described more as a comedy drama exploring the relationship of a failing marriage and the event that gets things back on track (spoiler).

The visual style of the film is fantastic, it is the single most 1990's thing I have ever watched. Bottle neck glasses, everyone wearing shades of brown, Spacey's denim shirt and maroon tie combo, Judy Davis' hairstyle. It was nothing short of fantastic and such a nostalgia trip.

I really enjoyed the movie, although I felt it dipped in the middle and got quite slow. The opening 30 minutes was great and the closing 20 minutes was a blast. Later in the movie as the couple begin to get back on track and Spacey's meltdown at his Mother are really well built towards. The holiday season played into matters perfectly. While you were aware that it was Christmas Eve it didn't overwhelm the film like some Christmas moves can(even if the police, limo driver, family members all mentioned it in nearly every scene hey, its Christmas Eve). Even Dennis Leary fleeing as Santa Claus at the end of the film didn't feel over the top or out of place. Put it this way, they could have set this film during the summer with Dennis Leary burgling a house of an old guy on holiday, and I think it would have worked just as fine. What it did though was tug at the heart strings. No one wants to see a family fall apart, particularly during the holidays and this is what gave the film a warmth that it may have lacked otherwise.

Would I recommend it as a holiday film? Certainly, it's a fun 1990's nostalgia trip, Dennis Leary is great and actually reins in his usual “angry ranty Dennis Leary” gimmick for the most part. It actually made me go “Hey, Dennis Leary is a pretty great actor when is playing it kind of straight, why wasn't he in more things?” then I remembered “yeah because he's Dennis Leary”. Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis have a great chemistry together and the supporting cast is largely excellent.

The film is directed by Ted Demme, who I didn't know all that much about. He directed Leary's stand up specials and also made the highly enjoyable Blow with Johnny Depp before passing away at 38.

I think the film holds up really great and was glad this was my first film of the holiday season. I can't wait to get into some others and find some new ones following you guys Christmas Chaos reviews.

- Ultimo Necr-ho-ho-ho

 

 

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Stocking Stuffer Bonus Review!!!!

 
Picked and reviewed by odessasteps.
 
 
 

Taz-Mania 

Episode 40

“No Time for Xmas”

Aired December 25, 1993

 

While there are plenty of well-known classics from the kids WB era of cartoons (Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, the Dini/Timm DC heroes, Freakazoid), one that does not often the recognition of its brethren is Taz-Mania, the wacky Down Under adventures of the longtime Bugs Bunny nemesis, who at the time had become a breakout popular culture character.

 

“No Time for Xmas,” the full-length episode from the show’s third season, sees Taz runs into almost all of the show’s cast of characters, delvering presents and getting into hi-jinx. There are plenty of Australian accents on display from the various indigenous animals (dingo, koala, kangaroo, ...), as well as some well-known actors (Rob Paulsen, John Austin) doing voices that would be used in other shows (Axl Gator sounds a lot like Pinky). 

 

While the first part of the episode sees Taz trying to spread Xmas cheer only to be constantly thwarted, everything wraps up nicely with a holiday bow, as it were.

 

Not the best episode of the series, but a good way to get most of the characters in one show. 

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Film: Black Christmas.
Chosen by: Brian Fowler
 

  "Assuming nobody already picked it, Black Christmas (1974)"

"I know it's not the most festive and Christmasy of Christmas movies, but if we are doing this at least partly to memorialize Justin, he was a man who loved horror movies and slasher flicks. I had a lot of conversations with Justin over the years, and most of them were either about football or slashers. It also happens to be one of the best movies of the 70's, highly influential and underrated."

 
Reviewed by: J.T.
 

"Listen to me. We've traced the call... it's coming from inside the house. Now a squad car's coming over there right now, just get out of that house! "

Sgt. Stacker - When A Stranger Calls (1979)

Black Christmas (1974)

(AKA Silent Night Evil Night, Stranger in the House)

Starring Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Margot Kidder, John Saxon, Marion Waldman, Andrea Martin, Lynn Griffin.

Directed by Bob Clark

It did not surprise me that someone chose Black Christmas for this project, nor did it surprise me that I was chosen to review it.  Most of you already know that Black Christmas is one of the very first slasher movies to ever be released and it holds an extremely important place in horror film history.

The film begins with a party at a sorority house to mark the beginning of Christmas break.

At the party, we're introduced to the wonderfully liberated sisters of this sorority including seemingly chaste Jess (Olivia Hussey), outrageous Barbara (Margot Kidder), the sheltered Claire (Lynne Griffin), and the lovable but drunken house mother, Mrs. MacHenry (Marian Waldman)

While the party is going on, we see an unknown man (from a first-person viewpoint which establishes a well worn horror trope) sneak into the house via the attic.

Within minutes he has already claimed his first victim, Claire with a very shocking bag-over-the-head murder before dragging her body to the attic and putting it right in the window in plain view!

The body remains there for the duration of the film and establishes yet another well worn horror trope.

Like the numerous masked killer movies that would follow it, Black Christmas gets to work on setting an ominous tone and establishing its own mythology from the very first frame. 

The killer makes numerous obscene phone calls to the sorority house and constantly references someone named, "Billy."  Is Billy the killer or an alternate personality of the killer?  Is Billy someone from the killer's past?  Is the revelation of Billy's identity really relevant to the plot or is it just good storytelling that illustrates just how deranged this crazy son of a bitch really is?

.... as if the multiple murders weren't proof enough?

It is easy to dismiss Black Christmas as being riddled by cliché, but it is important to realize that this is 1974 and movie is establishing all of these clichés.  You can literally see the birth of the HOLY FUCK, THE CALLER IS INSIDE THE HOUSE~! urban legend right before your very eyes, and it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that our final girl is going find a makeshift weapon and march right upstairs to confront the killer immediately after being told by the police to get out of the fucking house.

This movie is groundbreaking!   There would be no Halloweens or F13's without Black Christmas.  It is the template for which every slasher movie following it owes it's very existence and design.

On a more serious note, you can't really discuss Black Christmas without tackling the sexual politics head on.  It is mildly disturbing to take note of the meta that the female victims of the killer in this movie are pretty progressive minded for the time period this movie was filmed in.  Barb is as wonderfully raunchy, strong willed, and as crass about her sexuality as they come, and one of the key conflicts in this movie goes down between Jess and her creepy, domineering boyfriend, Peter (Keir Dullea) over whether or not Jess should have an abortion.  Jess does not want to sacrifice college for motherhood, while Peter uses both intimidation and false sympathy in the attempt to coerce Jess into having a baby she might not be ready for.

It is jarring to see these forward thinking women brutally killed one after another.  It is also difficult to see them have to cope with the male dominated social roles of the time, and it is equally sad to acknowledge that the concept of reproductive rights has gone no further today than it did in 1974 when this movie was made

Sometimes you wonder if you are watching a horror film or if you are watching an assault on feminist ideals?  Is Bob Clark showing his disdain for such ideals with his choice of victim or is he a champion of those ideals by virtue of his choice of a batshit insane, window licking, murderer as the antagonist?

Suffice to say that Black Christmas is one of my all time favorite movies and I always notice something new every time I watch it.

Merry Christmas and make sure your attic is locked!

 

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I've always found great meaning in small, initially insignificant things, and this movie has a good example.  There's TONS of stuff that stands out as eerie, terrifying, etc., but the thing that always gets me is when Margot Kidder intercepts one of the crank calls and brutally dresses down the caller/killer.  It starts off with him being foolish, inane, and rather harmlessly unhinged.  After Kidder's insults, there's a pause, then the cold, meticulous reply: "I'm going to kill you."  I remember, even today, the first time I watched this movie, how still I was after that one part.  It still gets me.

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8 hours ago, RIPPA said:

JT getting Black Christmas says to me that this whole thing was FIXED~!

Eh.  Who better to review it than me?

While I was watching Black Christmas, I started to think about how Fowler, Newbz, and I would talk about horror movies, particularly slasher films.

He was fascinated by their psychology and how the mythologies they created not only set the internal framework for each individual movie, but they also set the groundwork for films that followed them. 

We had one or two discussions about Black Christmas and how it serves as the template for nearly all slasher films, so I felt honored to review it for this project.

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There was literally no other movie I could pick in a project for Justin's memory and Christmas. The fact that it's a masterpiece just gilds the Lilly.

And I'm glad J.T. got it, even if I know he'd seen it several times before.

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Film: Christmas with the Kranks
Chosen by: CSC

 CSC: "So I know it's super obvious but I love it so much -  [Redacted]-  I'll send more of an explanation later, but just wanted to get the pick in (hopefully) before others would." 

Exec: "Sorry, already picked." 

CSC: "Damn - ok something completely on the other side of the spectrum then .... Christmas with the Kranks."
 
Reviewed by: S.K.o.S. 
 

Christmas with the Kranks has a scintillating 5% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  My expectations were not high. (Going in, I didn't think I'd ever seen this movie before, but I may have caught bits of it here and there, because some parts seemed strangely familiar.)

Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis play Luther and Nora Krank.  At the start of the movie, they're sending their daughter Blair (who I guess gets her looks from her mother?) back to college after Thanksgiving
weekend.  In the subsequent preparations for Christmas, Luther has to run around in the pouring rain and is kind of done with the whole thing.  Then he sees an ad in a store window for a Caribbean cruise and decides that's how he'd rather spend his Christmas.  Nora takes a bit of convincing but eventually gets on board.

Unfortunately Luther's whole neighborhood passive-aggressively turns on him for this.  I was having a tough time believing this could really happen.  I spent Christmas in the Bahamas one year and I'm pretty sure no one cared (it's kind of a trip hearing Christmas music played when it's hot out btw).  But the story is that the Kranks hosted a huge holiday party every year, and this year they're not doing it, and if you were the Christmas leaders in your community and then you just drop out of that role with very little warning... okay, I could see people being a bit salty about it.  Also the idea of saying no to Christmas donations when you consistently made them in prior years would be pretty awkward.

So the neighborhood turning on the Kranks consists mostly of Dan Aykroyd and M. Emmett Walsh harrassing Luther to put up Christmas decorations, sending carolers to their house, and so on.  And as the Kranks prep for their vacation, there are some weird tanning bed and Botox gags.  

My brain wasn't working too hard as I watched this movie, but it became pretty clear to me that the Kranks would not be making it to their cruise.  And right around the halfway point of the movie, Blair calls her parents with a surprise: she's coming home for Christmas, and she's bringing the guy that she's probably going to marry!  Uh oh, now the Kranks have to cancel their cruise and set up all their Christmas stuff with very little time to do it.  There's some slapstick with Nora chasing a rolling Christmas ham around a supermarket parking lot, only to have it crushed by a truck.  But in the end, the neighborhood comes together to help set up the Kranks' decorations, get everything ready for their party, and pick up Blair and her fiancé at the airport.  Everything works out great.  Also there's a bit of a side plot with a criminal being set loose in the party, but that gets taken care of too.

Dan Aykroyd plays the accordion as everyone sings at the Christmas party, and he seemed so into it that I had to google and check if he actually can play an accordion.  Turns out that he absolutely cannot, and it was just great acting.  What an actor.  They should call him "Dan Actroyd".

I wouldn't call this a good movie, but it was not as bad as I feared.  If someone had watched it every year around the holidays, I could see them becoming a little attached to it.

 

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5 minutes ago, odessasteps said:

After some quick Wiki research, I see the daughter in question was on Veronica Mars, so theres one reason for Fowler to watch it. :)

Well I'll be damned. I'm not sure I've ever seen anything else Julie Gonzalo was in.

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33 minutes ago, Execproducer said:
 CSC: "So I know it's super obvious but I love it so much -  [Redacted]-  I'll send more of an explanation later, but just wanted to get the pick in (hopefully) before others would." 

Exec: "Sorry, already picked." 

On the subject of fixing things, CSC was involved in the only change I made. He ended up drawing his first pick, so I switched his with someone else's. Serendipity, as we shall see later.

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6 hours ago, Execproducer said:

On the subject of fixing things, CSC was involved in the only change I made. He ended up drawing his first pick, so I switched his with someone else's. Serendipity, as we shall see later.

I think I know what you're talking about here... but I'll wait and see.

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Stocking Stuffer Bonus Review!!!!

 
Picked and reviewed by Execproducer.
 
 
ER - " A Miracle Happens Here"
 

Season 2, Ep. 10.

Original air date 12/14/95

It's Christmas season at County General Hospital but not everyone is feeling jolly. Nurse Carol Hathaway (Julianna Margulies) is frustrated that her recently purchased fixer-upper house won't be ready for Christmas Day. To make matters worse, her co-workers aren't willing to honor a commitment she made to sing Christmas carols later that day. Meanwhile, Dr. Mark Greene (Anthony Edwards) spends his morning giving a deposition in a wrongful death suit from events that occurred in season one. Recently separated, he argues with his wife who is out of town with their daughter. He is supposed to have her for Christmas but his wife wants her to remain with her family a few extra days to attend her cousin's skating party. Mark tells his wife she should have thought of that before she started screwing her co-worker and refuses to give up the day. His friend, Dr. Susan Lewis ( Sherry Stringfield) tells him he shouldn't let his anger ruin his daughter's Christmas.
 
As the day unfolds, several emergencies take place including a bunch of kids performing a Nativity-on-ice that are run over by a drunken Zamboni driver and a priest dying of a gunshot wound, brought to the hospital by neighborhood gang bangers that want vengeance. Both Carol and Mark will meet patients that help them change their perspective.
 
Carol helps a toy maker named Stan Caulas (Brandon Maggart) who cut himself with a jigsaw. She thinks he looks like Santa and the way he talks half convinces her he might be the real deal. When she laments that no one wants to sing with her, Mr. Caulas tells her no one can give her the spirit and that she has to find it within herself. Taking that to heart, she tells her co-workers that she will go sing carols whether they're coming or not. Eventually they join her. When the location for the hospital party is snowed in, everyone ends up at her unfinished house to celebrate Christmas.
 
Dr. Greene treats  elderly car-jacking victim Hanna Steiner (Joan Copeland), whose grand-daughter was taken with the vehicle. He sees numbers tattooed on her arm and realizes she is a Holocaust survivor. It is later revealed that he is "the son of an agnostic Jew and a lapsed Catholic". The grand-daughter is found and Hanna's family brings Hanukkah to the hospital. After spending time with them, he will call his daughter to wish her a good time with her cousins and  will see her a few days after Christmas.
 
Typical episode where they save some, lose some and introduce characters for multi-episode arcs.  ER was a good show back in the day, until the original cast slowly began leaving. The frenzied camera work during emergencies was always a high point. Anyway, this episode does a decent job of capturing the Christmas spirit
 

er-210-1.jpg

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Film: Batman Returns
Chosen by: Ultimo Necro

  "My pick is Batman Returns.  It's the greatest Superhero at Xmas movie of all time.  Unless you count Turboman from Jingle All the Way."

 
Reviewed by: RIPPA
 

BATMAN RETURNS

(Burton, 1992)

Hoo Boy…. Welcome you are about to get a first hand look on how my brain processes things.

Let’s get this out of the way first. Batman Returns is not a Christmas movie. It is a movie set at Christmas time. I feel like this was done for one specific reason. RIP Ice Princess

I didn’t rewatch this since I originally saw it probably my senior year of high school since it isn’t available anywhere and I am not paying for it since I really am not a fan of it to begin with it. I watched a bunch of clips on Youtube to remind myself of certain things and I was surprise how much more I disliked it than my memory lead me to believe.

If I didn’t know Fowler had already picked Black Christmas, I would have said he picked this. Now I am thinking I will blame Mark.

I also acknowledge the difficulty of fairly commenting now about an over 25 year old movie one that has seen the number of interpretations of its main character multiple tenfold in the years since it came out. Especially when this was the sequel to the original new hotness.

All of that said - Michelle Pfeiffer is like the 8th best Catwoman. I wonder where Annette Bening would have ended up if she had stayed in the role. Probably like 13th best Catwoman.

Lord are the origin stories of Penguin and Catwoman infuriating in this movie. MAGICAL CATS WITH HEALING POWERS!!!! WHY THE FUCK NOT?!?!?!?! And I am even gonna fuck touch being raised by fucking Penguins.

Speaking of which – Fuck Gotham for not supporting their zoo. They got what they fucking deserved.

Maybe I am the only one but I feel like the latest weird internet push over the last few years has been the push to try and make you believe that Batman Returns is a cinematic masterpiece better than Batman. The internet is stupid.

If I did this in the style of a Workrate Report – it would have been

What Worked

Vincent Schiavelli

What Didn’t Work

Everything else

It is a mortal lock I would have also put Burgess Meredith up there if his health had allowed him to play Penguin’s Dad.

I like a few Tim Burton movies but this really is a Tim Burton movie dressed up as a superhero movie. Most folks were distracted from this fact in Batman since Jack Nicholson dragged that movie kicking and screaming to greatness. Here… I am thinking that if Burton could have stalled production for like 18 months – Johnny Depp would have been Batman and Helena Bonham Carter would have been Catwoman and Christopher Walken would have been a villain with wacky hair… oh wait…

BTW – did you know a cat has nine lives? Really! And Catwoman had magical healing cat powers!

Jesus – there were so many false finishes. It’s like a darker Return of the King.

I really hope 18 year old me wasn’t entertained by horny Penguin. I know 43 year old me isn’t

Hold up – before I forget – you want me to fucking believe that a fucking group of carnies can hack the Batmobile but no one else fucking can? What fucking password was Bats using? 123456?

God now my Youtube recommendations are all fucked up.

 

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44 minutes ago, Brian Fowler said:

For the record, I love the production design and nothing else in that movie and never would've chosen it.

Yeah, I’m not really a fan of the movie either, other than some of the wacky metatext in the movie (Max Shreck...).

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  Stocking Stuffer Bonus Review!!!!

 
Picked and reviewed by nate
 
 

King of the Hill; Season 2, Ep. 11: "The Unbearable Blindness of Laying"

Hank Hill walks in on his mom and her new boyfriend having relations, right there on the kitchen table, and he goes blind as a result.  I used to show this part of the episode to my undergrad class in Psych 101, to give the students an example of conversion disorder.

The Christmas trappings are actually pretty lean - there are smatterings of seasonal references, like Hank hanging Christmas lights, the distribution of gifts at the Christmas tree - and, honestly, there's just as much about Hannukah than Christmas. But, this episode (one of my favorites), like everything about "King of the Hill" in general, captures family togetherness and love like few live action shows can pull off.  That peace and goodwill and fellowship with your neighbor may be the kind of stuff Hallmark and Coke sell every December, but when Gary - Hank's mom's Jewish boyfriend - takes Hank to a TV faith healer to cure his blindness, it's hard not to wonder who's cutting onions in the room.  Selflessness, that's Gary's game.  And hey, you can't get much more "Christmas miracle" than curing the blind. 

I don't remember Gary being mentioned, much less showing up in further KotH eps.  I like to think Tilly & he made it and were still together by and beyond Season 13.

King-of-the-Hill-S02E11-f87d174b897f7579

 

 

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Jesus Harold Christ, *that* screenshot.  No wonder he went blind.

One of my favorite parts I totally forgot to mention, that speaks to the development of Peggy across the entire series: After "the incident", Hank's mom and Bobby are making cookies on the used kitchen table.  Peggy runs over, grabs all the cookie dough and utensils, trashes them, vigorously sprays the table down, then sighs, "Who wants to make cookies?"  Peggy is great.

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Thinking about ER - I used to watch the hell out of that show.

Now I legit only remember Eriq La Salle fist pumping in the hallway

Oh and the dude who lost his arm in the helicopter blade

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