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Dude, Where's My Phone? - Raw - 7/16/2018


Dolfan in NYC

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Wow. They're going to 50/50 the fuck outta Roman and Lashley. A friend earlier today sent me a message saying that Extreme Rules really sucked, but at least Lashley winning was surprising and refreshing. And since this stupid fucking company makes me a cynical person when I hate being cynical, all I could say in response was that I bet Roman still gets to challenge Brock at Summerslam.

Then came the opening segment. WHAT. A. SHOCK. Roman and Seth both lost so I don't what the fuck either guy thought he was doing out there. The only dudes who had any sort of claim to a title match were Lashley and Drew. Anyway, it was completely obvious that it was going to wind up being Roman vs Lashley. This fucking company.

The only dude who was booked smartly last night was Braun of all people. In response to being asked why he didn't go out in the opening segment, he responds by saying why would he since he's got the briefcase. So that right there was the high point of intelligence of Raw. A Raw that really looks like it's going to book a lesbian angle between Sasha and Bayley.

Christ, it's like the Bluths are the ones writing this shit.

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Maybe it was just my TV but the crowd seemed into the possibility of Drew vs. Lashley (or either against Brock).  Why couldn't they just try that?  You know Vince loves the fuck outta both of them so what the hell..   put Roman in something else for a while and just book Lashley vs. Drew and then one of them could get over on Brock and we could be done with it. 

That would also setup the possibilities of Braun vs. Lashley and/or Braun vs. Drew.  All of these would be match ups that I wouldn't mind seeing.  

Instead it's just the same old crap. 

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I have zero desire to see another Roman/Brock match, but I also can't get around the fact that letting Brock leave without him putting Roman over would basically make no sense.

I mean, booking Roman like Daniel Bryan was always dumb, but this would be like going through with Batista ending Orton's reign at Mania. And Roman is someone Vince actually wants as the top star.

So it's... I don't know, Roman should've just won at Mania. Four years ago.

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In what I think is the closest we will get to him actually being on WWE, Buffalo native, wrestling superfan and one of the better contemporary hip hop artists out Westside Gunn was in the crowd at tonight’s RAW, shouted his catchphrase “boom boom boom boom” during Elias’ segment and you can clearly hear the audio.

 

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14 minutes ago, Brian Fowler said:

So it's... I don't know, Roman should've just won at Mania. Four years ago.

Eh, not really. When he won the title later in the year was right time. They just managed to fuck it up immediately.

28 minutes ago, Niners Fan in CT said:

Maybe it was just my TV but the crowd seemed into the possibility of Drew vs. Lashley (or either against Brock).  Why couldn't they just try that?  You know Vince loves the fuck outta both of them so what the hell..   put Roman in something else for a while and just book Lashley vs. Drew and then one of them could get over on Brock and we could be done with it.

They were not. Those two were probably the least over during their respective matches.

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3 hours ago, sydneybrown said:

 

Hulk Hogan needs to come back next week to help Lashley beat Reigns so he can then profess his undying love for him. And THAT turns out to be the tasteful same-sex angle.  They can go all Rocky III on the beach for the SummerSlam montage.

You joke, but what do you want to bet that SummerSlam ends with Hogan raising the hand of the new Universal Champion, Lashley?

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1 hour ago, Brian Fowler said:

I have zero desire to see another Roman/Brock match, but I also can't get around the fact that letting Brock leave without him putting Roman over would basically make no sense.

I mean, booking Roman like Daniel Bryan was always dumb, but this would be like going through with Batista ending Orton's reign at Mania. And Roman is someone Vince actually wants as the top star.

So it's... I don't know, Roman should've just won at Mania. Four years ago.

Hindsight being 20/20, it would have been better for everyone in the long term had Batista won

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6 hours ago, sydneybrown said:

And "If you can't get along, I'm sending you both back to NXT" was right there.  Which at this point I wish they both were.

That goes for other NXT talent as well: Asuka, the Revival etc. Papa H must despair at the booking of some NXT wrestlers when called up to main roster.

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8 hours ago, Brian Fowler said:

There was a rumour last year (maybe the year before?) about Steph wanting a "tasteful same-sex angle"

Current fanfic points to the IIconics. 

I liked Logan/Moon. About time Sarah got herself a win. And I'm glad that they are giving her more to do than play "country girl".

 

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4 hours ago, Eivion said:

i don't recall hearing that for either, but there was talking in the kitchen at the time so I could have missed it.

The crowd definitely got a "Yes" chant going when Drew Mac came down and said that Phase Two of his plan was to win the Universal Title.

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Kurt Angle, Over-Protective Dad of the Women's Division, is a weird look for a company just patting itself on the back for th Women's Evolution.   Braun can throw guys off of cages, throw them off the stage in a portapotty etc. and Angle is nowhere to be found but if Rousey is beating someone up or two popular women don't like each other he's right there to stop it.  It's actually a pretty offensive, obviously written by men element of the show that anytime the women are getting out of hand that a male authority figure has to come along and assert control over them.  

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15 minutes ago, JonnyLaw said:

It is amusing that people are fantasy booking Hogan raising Lashley’s arm as a redemption given that Lashley was also Trump’s surrogate. 

Bobby Lashley: Bad Judge of Character is an interesting gimmick.

Can't be as bad as Sting ; )

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25 minutes ago, The Natural said:

Can't be as bad as Sting ; )

 

41 minutes ago, JonnyLaw said:

... Lashley was also Trump’s surrogate. 

I beg to differ! /LandauAsLugosi

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14 hours ago, Brian Fowler said:

There was a rumour last year (maybe the year before?) about Steph wanting a "tasteful same-sex angle"

there is no media/entertainment business I trust less to handle any sort of same sex/non binary/LGBT character or storyline tastefully, or even it's internal standard for what is and is not "tasteful" than World Wrestling Entertainment.

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14 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Yeah, tasteful. From the same company bringing back Hogan.

Well they did show restraint to do a tasteful storyline about the plight of Middle Easterners in post-9/11 America.

I mean they actually held out for a week or two before turning both into The Screamin' Shiek.

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17 hours ago, Brian Fowler said:

There was a rumour last year (maybe the year before?) about Steph wanting a "tasteful same-sex angle"

Yesterday I posted an HLA joke on a post WWE made on Instagram, oops. 

Wonder if WWE noticed that Brock being stripped of the title got a pop and him wrestling was booed. Trick question, they don't care. 

Angle is a worse GM than the fucking laptop. Nothing he does makes sense. Why is he so desperate to protect Alexa? Braun has tried to murder multiple people and little has been done. Alexa gets beat up and its a huge deal. 

The two triple threats reveal how little depth the main event has and why the brand split can't work. 

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8 hours ago, Victator said:

Yesterday I posted an HLA joke on a post WWE made on Instagram, oops. 

Wonder if WWE noticed that Brock being stripped of the title got a pop and him wrestling was booed. Trick question, they don't care. 

Angle is a worse GM than the fucking laptop. Nothing he does makes sense. Why is he so desperate to protect Alexa? Braun has tried to murder multiple people and little has been done. Alexa gets beat up and its a huge deal. 

The two triple threats reveal how little depth the main event has and why the brand split can't work. 

This made me chuckle. Cheers.

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WWE's dragged Sasha Banks/Bayley on. I liked the tensions between the two and the beat down  by Bayley to Banks brought Bayley her biggest cheers in ages. Then what? Anger management. Now? I'd hoped we would get Banks/Bayley ideally at WrestleMania this year. I can see WWE trying to replicate the magic of Banks/Bayley at SummerSlam, three years after Banks/Bayley stole the show the night before at the first NXT TakeOver: Brooklyn 2015.

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8 hours ago, Victator said:

Does anybody remember why Braun hates Owens? Seems like he just looked at him funny. 

Because Kevin asked to be his friend.  

Seriously.  That's it.  

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On one hand, KO tried to have the other MITB contestants take out Braun before and during the match. On the other hand, it was obvious that KO was merely doing so as a strategic move and not because he actually hated Braun. 

If Braun had said he saw how KO treated Zayn and Jericho for making the mistake of being his friend, it would have played better. In any case, it's gone too far.

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