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Backlash XIV - 5/6/2018


Dolfan in NYC

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2 minutes ago, NintendoLogic said:

Wrestling is fake. They can concoct a storyline explanation out of thin air if they need to.

Wow, holy shit, I never realized that. Thank you.

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3 hours ago, saveholmes said:

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This is a pretty damning indictment of Big Cass. Having a decent match with Daniel Bryan should be just about the easiest thing imaginable, but he needed two agents to put one together for him. And it wasn't even that good.

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12 minutes ago, Casey said:

It just seems like they would have mentioned it if that was the case. They treated the MITB since the recent roster split as brand specific. Corbin's briefcase was blue... so why is it different for the women of Smackdown?

I don't think it's much of a hang up.  They play fast and loose with all these stipulations and in this case it would have made sense to do a little creative booking to get themselves out of a jam.  Let's think about this.  Since WrestleMania,  who is in a better position?   Asuka obviously is not...  her stock has fallen off a cliff.   Charlotte hasn't been protected,  she can easily reclaim her spot but she is in no better position now than she was prior to Mania and Carmella...  it can be argued she's in a better position but I think most are just waiting for the shoe to drop on her title reign, she's obviously keeping that belt warm. 

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Ending a No DQ match with a double nut shot when the whole point of such a match that moves like that are legal are crap.

Anyone care to explain why AJ Styles has more in-ring chemistry in the WWE with Jinder Mahal than Shinsuke Nakamura? 

Granted, the match was sort of getting interesting when they brought in the chair and Nakamura started doing the low blow. I mean it's a No DQ match. And then they end it with that crap. Why is there even a standing 10 count in a No DQ match?

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12 minutes ago, alstein said:

you can win by knockout in a no DQ, if both dudes are knocked out, it's still a draw/no contest.

The referee never started a 10 count beforehand. It's not that defendable when the WWE doesn't even know the rules of a cage match.

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10 hours ago, piranesi said:


This show was quite a month-long slow-motion kick to the nuts.

The first two matches had me excited and into it.  Alexa is so fantastic. Miz is so fantastic. They both deserve so much better.

Then the One-Two punch of Randy Orton being like a treadmill workout to watch and Carmella being some kind of Kroll Show version of a wrestler staggered me...hard. Even though I left the room for Orton, the sheer power of his boringness seeped into the wifi and contaminated my bones. And watching Charlotte Flair have to play fight with a strange defective blonde child and lose was bewildering and embarassing like a skit at a family picnic where the family has a prodigious child that likes to put on skits and we all have to watch them.

But then Elias splashed some water on my face and told me I could do it. And you know what? I think I can! Thanks, Elias! You are so great! Please do more.

Then Big Cass put me in a sleeper hold and I tried and tried to keep going because I knew Daniel Bryan would save me. And then he did!  He ended it, pretty quickly and told me now we could be together.  But then a PA announcement decreed that Big Cass was going to never ever ever stop being there and ruining Daniel Bryan and I wept openly because I knew I was in the Clockwork Orange world and everything is just going to be like this and never make sense always.

And then AJ Styles and Nakamura wrestled for, something like 7 hours and for nothing. For nothing. They wrestled for 3 days without food or sleep and then on the third day they just said "That's that we're leaving now." And the people said "But why did you even? Why did we even?" And they said "We just like cardio bye." And why can't they just FUCKING DO SOMETHING????? And I lay down and closed my eyes and tried to stop breathing.

Then they reminded me there were still TWO matches left and my soul left my body.

And then there was a Three Stooges short, which was nice, except it was a little weird because Moe was fat and Canadian and Larry was Syrian and they had all the best punch lines. I think it was a Joe Dorita, because the third guy wasn't funny and he was black and it was weird because it was like the only one where Vernon Dent wins and beats the shit out of the stooges and was a giant hillbilly. I may have been having a death mirage at that point.    

Then they introduced Roman Reigns and turned down the crowd noise so much and so suddenly that my Roku stuttered and told me to check my audio settings.    And when I went into settings to check them, my Roku spoke to me and said "Look, we're out right now. We're out and they don't know it. We don't have to go back, you know.  We can just not go back. You know nothing good is going on in there."  But I knew I had to go back. I did and Mchael Cole quickly told me someone "has absolutely no absence of malice" and I knew I wanted to live if only that I meet Michael Cole some day and punch him in the mouth.

So I guess I have to give this show a thumb up. I can't right now because my brain has shut down to the point that I cannot send the "up" signal to either thumb. But I will pencil it in to do alter since despite literally killing my soul and squatting down and squat-peeing into my grave hole for hours and hours, in the end it renewed my desire to live, even if the only reason I have to wake up and locomote my beaten and dessicated body out into the world in the morning is the small chance I might get to punch Michael Cole in the mouth some day. Some day....

I'm writing all of this during the main event, which is so boring that this is what I'm doing while it's on. This and literally looking at review of the tactical LED flashlight that you deep fry and then feed to an alligator and then roll over the alligator with a truck wheel and then when the dying alligator poops out the tactical LED flashlight, it will still melt the retinas of any intruder when you focus down the beam to a tiny dot. The reviews are pretty good. Let this chronicle be a warning to any and all who might stumble into this show. It is not your friend. It is poison.

Oh, Roman Reigns won. Okay. Cool. My grave hole is getting warmer. Nice.

Oh my god, now two dummies are going to describe all of this for money on a thing I'm paying them for and I'm going to watch it because I am a fucking brain dead slug.  All in all, this was a great experience, guys!
        
       

So in summary, are you getting the tactical light?  This is the only thing that holds any interest for me, from this shitshow ppv.

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Well this show sounds like shit pretty much all the way through. I turned it on late and saw the end of the Elias segment, which seeing only the last couple bits of was fine for what it was but I imagine watching the whole segment might not have been as fun, Bryan/Cass was boring and I really hoped Cass tapping was him being sent to the mid card and never have to see him on PPV again but then he attacked Bryan, lame. Carmella/Flair ugh I really hoped Carmella would be able to pull of being champ but she is not up to the role and Charlotte ended up looking weak in defeat (why not just have the IIconics interfere?) and I turned it off after Nak/AJ which the ending has just completely awful why have that long of a match just for that? Makes no sense, dumb dumb dumb. Then I turned it off and sounds like I made the right choice to not watch most of the show. 

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10 hours ago, Rick said:

Because Vince hated Asuka's streak probably 

But he'll send Alexa away for a tit job in the name of empowerment and run a weight-shaming storyline because he has the mental capacity of a 14 year old

 

6 hours ago, Niners Fan in CT said:

Asuka didn't have to drop her streak because she didn't need to be tied to Carmella at all.  We all know why Charlotte broke the streak, it was a combination of her being Vince's favorite,  creative not wanting to be creative, they viewed the streak as a disadvantage more than anything and I'm guessing the undervalued part of it is that Vince probably doesn't think Asuka can be a star.  

But even so..  if you are going to have Charlotte beat Asuka then Charlotte should then be protected or else the win means nothing and it especially means nothing if Asuka can't even crack a PPV card now. 

Someone, I want to say it was Court Bauer, once told a story about Vince not wanting to hire (or maybe push) Gail Kim because he couldn't understand guys finding Asian women attractive.  It was the first thing I thought of when Asuka lost at Mania and when I heard she wasn't on the card.  Talk about empowerment all you want; it's still all about what makes Vince's old man parts semi-turgid.

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Well after that awful segment with the Iconic duo on the pre-show with Rosenberg, they probably want nothing more to do with them.   the IIconics are really the perfect example of too much of a good thing.  Once every 2 or 3 weeks they are good.  Every week with terrible material and not William Regal they are impossible to deal with

 

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I am not a Rollins fan at all, but he is quite over at the moment to the point I question maybe having him be the one to dethrone Brock and use it to set up a Roman heel turn after the win. In that scenario, you could potentially even cement Braun as "The Guy" after a heel Roman gets the belt off of Seth.

None of this will happen, but it seems like the organic thing to do.

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9 hours ago, L_W_P said:

*Holy crap. How long til Vince realizes Bobby Lashley and Bobby Roode are on the same show and one of them has to give up their name?

People get hung up on this supposed Vince thing but he's been fine in the past with Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit and more recently with Big Show and Big Cass.

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42 minutes ago, Swiftian said:

People get hung up on this supposed Vince thing but he's been fine in the past with Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit and more recently with Big Show and Big Cass.

Garrison Cade and Gregory Helms say hello.

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I had this show on the background and it sounds like that was the ideal way to watch it cause I didn’t think it was all that bad. Miz/Rollins was great and I thought Bryan/Cass and Orton/Hardy were fun enough. I was really hoping for a coming out party for Carmella but alas it was not to be. I was down with Nak/AJ too. That ending was funny and sets up another match I want to see. *shrug*

The main event was... I don’t know. A foregone conclusion? A depressing reminder that Roman isn’t going anywhere? Underwhelming? All of the above and more? I like Roman as a worker but as an all around wrestler with, like, personality and crowd reactions and stuff, he’s the pits. What are we doing now? Building him for Lesnar again? Who could possibly give a shit for that? The audience of one, I guess, although I have no idea how even Vince isn’t bored with Reigns by now.

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Didn't watch all of the show. Why are they going over 3 hrs for regular shows? Kids have to go to school the next day. It's like they only want the douchebags chanting CM Punk watching the main event.

I didn't think Big Cass was absolutely awful UNTIL the finish, when Daniel Bryan was literally trying to make Big Cass fight back from the Yes Lock. Daniel should have just locked it in and tapped him. If he's not going to put up a fight fuck him, bury his 7 foot ass.

Shinsuke Nakamura was GREAT until all the dick shots. AJ Styles has had some of the worst fucking finishes over the last two years. 

Bobby Lashley looks lost all the time. Every time I see him he looks like doesn't know what everyone else is doing, and then he does something and guys look at him like "what are you even doing right now, bro?" I thought he was better than this.

Braun was not getting the same reactions at the end of the match either. People getting bummed as the show went on.

Main event was a good match. I thought Joe was great at trying to get heat by not giving the fans what they wanted. He laid into his holds and as the crowd started to boo he'd give them a spot. Only problem is that what he needed was for the crowd to try and push Roman to fight back. But even Roman's fans sit on their hands until provoked by the guys in the backward baseball hats. Floor seats opposite the hard cam was one of the bro-iest I've seen in a while.

My son wanted to go to Money in the Bank. But after the last show we went to(Jinder's Title Win), and all the absolute SHIT booking they've had lately, we're going ALL IN instead.

 

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5 minutes ago, jaedmc said:

I didn't think Big Cass was absolutely awful UNTIL the finish, when Daniel Bryan was literally trying to make Big Cass fight back from the Yes Lock. Daniel should have just locked it in and tapped him. If he's not going to put up a fight fuck him, bury his 7 foot ass.

I've never wanted to be a gif maker, until this very moment where I could post Bela Lugosi fighting the octopus in "Bride of the Monster" and *totally* win the DVDVR day!

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6 minutes ago, nate said:

I've never wanted to be a gif maker, until this very moment where I could post Bela Lugosi fighting the octopus in "Bride of the Monster" and *totally* win the DVDVR day!

gif_gifsicle_30_gif_357x241_fb0959.gif

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19 minutes ago, Matt D said:

Playing catch up: 

1. Did we know they were using TJ as an agent?

Yeah, we did. I'm sure you thought it was shit, but he was the agent for one of the really good Balor/Rollins matches they had on RAW a few weeks ago.

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