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Rock God who Least Looked the Part


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Okay this is perhaps random as fuck, but I was blasting music while writing and the rotation included vids of Queen, Bowie, The Cramps, Stones, Aerosmith and AC/DC (which is pretty standard for me). The wifeperson commented on my tendency to play these same six bands over and over and I responded with "You have perhaps the six greatest frontmen in rock, what's not to like?" Her response was, "One of those guys looks like someone you would hang out with at the Knarr Tavern, the rest of them look like rockstars." Of course, she meant Brian Johnson, and I have to agree, Brian even in his younger days looked like the guy on the next barstool that you would watch a game of football (soccer) with while having a few pints of Guinness.  Onstage he was magical, but he looked like the guy next door that helped you build a workshed, not like the voice of arguably the greatest hardrock band ever. So who ya got as the person whose looks most belied what they were as a true god/goddess of rock n' roll?

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Hopefully I can summon the spirit of @DEAN by mentioning Pete Shelley of the Buzzcocks, who just looks like some fuckin' guy. I'd expect him to, I don't know, try to spray my apartment for termites or cut me off in traffic or give me the side-eye for not wearing a nice enough polo shirt on a golf course, not blow my hair back. Though having not been around for their original heyday, perhaps I missed a point in the 80s where he looked the part.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Shelley

I think they still put on the best show I've ever seen (40 Watt in mid-2006, apologies to Nine Inch Nails and Sleater-Kinney for not supplanting them).

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Good call! I stupidly forgot to mention Shane MacGowan, who before getting his teeth fixed looked like a guy who would try and bum a drink off you at the local and then get kicked out for the night for smoking meth in the men's room.

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1 minute ago, cwoy2j said:

Eric Clapton looks like the dad who sits next to you at your kid's soccer game who is super positive about everything.

He does now.  Young Clapton looked like a Philosphy TA who would get his female students drunk and tell them they were 'old souls.'

My vote is for "everyone in the Traveling Wilburys."

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7 minutes ago, Zimbra said:

He does now.  Young Clapton looked like a Philosphy TA who would get his female students drunk and tell them they were 'old souls.'

My vote is for "everyone in the Traveling Wilburys."

3448c81e007ffa1366bbe57e0bcd78ff.jpg

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Hah. The Wilburys tried to cultivate that by being a little bit square, but it never really worked. Petty was still a young guy, Jeff Lynne's hair never stopped screaming "70s rocker", and Dylan/Harrison could have swaggered as legit hobos. Even Roy Orbison had too much style.  You look at that guy and you see one of two people. 1: Roy Motherfucking Orbison, or 2: the best pot dealer you ever had, back when you lived in San Pedro in 1983, who had all that good Afghan shit and you remembered to buy twice as much because every time, even when you said you wouldn't, you always ended up sharing it with him.

I think I'd also argue that Shane MacGowan *does* look the rockstar part since he can look like such a fucking dirtbag. I think Dylan was guilty of that, too - there's the put-together rockstar side of the coin, but the flip is "OK, you're trying too hard to veer away from being cool, and that's gone back to an altogether different sort of cool." 

Clapton pre-drying out & the stuff with his son - definitely a rockstar.

 

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This thread made me think about which artist looks like the most like their music and it turns out the answer is Elvis Costello.

Welp, see ya.

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7 hours ago, Zimbra said:

This thread made me think about which artist looks like the most like their music and it turns out the answer is Elvis Costello.

Welp, see ya.

Not Phil Collins? 

Even Collins's music looks and sounds like "that one dad of  one of your group of friends who tries JUST A LITTLE TOO HARD to be 'the cool dad' and be part of the gang and it just makes them seem that much more pathetic in the process."

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  • 1 month later...
On 5/2/2018 at 2:23 PM, Meltzing Pot said:

David Byrne

I maintain that, when is isn't making loony faces, Byrne is a legit handsome man. I've long joked that the reason Tina Weymouth always seemed so pissed off was that she married the third best looking guy in a band with three guys in it.

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2 hours ago, Pete said:

1920px-Blackmore's_Night_in_2012.jpg

Ritchie Blackmore. I win.

C'mon Pete,  the man is 73 years old! During the heyday of Deep Purple and Blackmore's Rainbow he looked every inch the rock god. I don't know what the fuck he is doing here, performing at a ren faire, I would guess? As far as the bass player goes, anyone that wears a hat like that in a public place needs to be thrown under a bus.

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18 minutes ago, OSJ said:

C'mon Pete,  the man is 73 years old! During the heyday of Deep Purple and Blackmore's Rainbow he looked every inch the rock god. I don't know what the fuck he is doing here, performing at a ren faire, I would guess? As far as the bass player goes, anyone that wears a hat like that in a public place needs to be thrown under a bus.

It's Blackmore's Night, the medieval folk rock band project he and his wife Candace Night are helming. Sounds like it might be right up your alley.

Speaking of great hats...

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The hats are okay, but that's the worst fucking version of Highway Star that I've ever heard. I could do better than that (at least I know the lyrics) ;-)

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5 minutes ago, OSJ said:

The hats are okay, but that's the worst fucking version of Highway Star that I've ever heard. I could do better than that (at least I know the lyrics) ;-)

The story I've heard was they hadn't finished writing the lyrics (it was their first time performing it live), so Ian went out there and winged the whole thing. :lol: Gotta love those Beat Club graphics though!

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2 hours ago, Pete said:

The story I've heard was they hadn't finished writing the lyrics (it was their first time performing it live), so Ian went out there and winged the whole thing. :lol: Gotta love those Beat Club graphics though!

Okay, that makes sense. I just thought Ian was fucked up out of his mind (which he may have been). Yeah, you just don't have graphics like that anymore... ;-) 

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On 4/27/2018 at 4:41 PM, Death From Above said:

I just watched Led Zeppelin - Celebration Day last week and I couldn't unsee that old man Jimmy Page looks like Bilbo Baggins.

Jimmy Page in that documentary with Jack White and The Edge looks to have aged into an Old Asian Dude - and seems likable AF. 

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