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Raw 9-16-13


MGFanJay

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The end of RAW was awesome. It was about time the lower part of the WWE roster came out and fought off The Shield. That was a great Nitro-Esq moment. I agree with the notion that if they did this in Tampa, in 1980 the Armory would have burned to the ground. Dusty was so tremendous. Who cares if he was flubbing lines. He's Dusty, he's allowed to.

 

When he said "this is Virgin Runnels talking" I was like OH SHIT, ITS A SHOOT. Stephanie has finally come into her own as the evil corporate vp. The Bed, Bath, and Beyond card was such a hilarious and tremendous touch. Stephanie is probably like Bill Murray in Scrooged and she has a list during Christmas for who gets a towel and who gets a VCR (well blu ray these days). She surprisingly did hold her own with Dusty, but man she really needs to lay off the Parlament unfiltereds. That voice is getting rough.

 

It was nice to see The Miz show signs of life for the first time in ages. But man, his dad is a pussy. John Cena's dad would have at least taken a swing at Orton if he was doing that shit right next to him. Hell, John Cena's dad DID take a shot and then some. But I guess all wrestler dad's these days can't be Johnny Fabulous.

 

Overall a really fun show.

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That ending was pretty damn great. The fact that it was the B-Team that came out for the save works in storyline (the bigger names are either injured, "fired," or openly weeping) and sets up a fun couple of weeks of guys like Gabriel and Ryder getting absolutely slaughtered before Los Midnightadores show up. Next step should be to add a guy or two to The Corporation of Business-ness's side officially so that it's not just The Shield cycling through guys for the next month.

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The SO was pretty funny watching Dusty's promo.

 

"Why do they always have to speechify?"

Me: "Uh, he is the best speechifier EVER."

 

Later on: "Every time I walk by the TV they're just standing there talking! How come they never fucking wrestle?"

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When he said "this is Virgin Runnels talking" I was like OH SHIT, ITS A SHOOT.

 

So, was this a rare non-horrible use of a real name?

 

No, it's even more horrible when Dusty motherfucking Rhodes is doing it.

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All that end sequence showed me is that Mark Henry and Titus Young would have handled it on their own. Shameful lack of Big Mark, especially after Piranesi tried to hint at his return on twitter.

 

.

 

Mark Henry would have to be awesome to be able to take out 7 or 8 guys with a former Detroit Lion as his partner ^_^

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Titus Young would have wrecked everyone's shit and then been found backstage asleep in a dumpster. They should do a gimmick like that where a dude is physically great at the pro wres and on his day can beat anyone, but is a known idiot who can just as easily be found in the wrong building feeding stray cats Oreos.

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What a great episode.  Fuck Cleveland and its dirty streets and shitty river. 

 

I loved the Miz / Orton match.  The wrasslin' courtesy of putting a guy over in his hometown is long dead, so i didn't mind Miz dying in front of me.

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What if Los Matadores make their debut and it's Cody and Dustin under the masks?

That's what everyone believes NEEDS to happen.

 

Complete with shot after the debut match with the Colons laid out backstage.

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All that end sequence showed me is that Mark Henry and Titus Young would have handled it on their own. Shameful lack of Big Mark, especially after Piranesi tried to hint at his return on twitter.

 

.

 

Mark Henry would have to be awesome to be able to take out 7 or 8 guys with a former Detroit Lion as his partner ^_^

 

 

I swear to God any time I think about the PTP I think of them as Titus Young and Darren O'Neal.  Every time.

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What if Los Matadores make their debut and it's Cody and Dustin under the masks?

 

 

His wedding is supposed to be September 26.  Can you wait until October for that to happen?

 

 

That would give them a chance to debut the Colons in the next two weeks, just so it's even more obvious when Dustin and Cody take over the roles.

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Fantasy booking:

 

Let's say they were looking to set up a Wargames match at Battleground, with everything having transpired the way it has until this very moment, who would you put in a 5-on-5 Wargames match? 

 

Orton/Shield/ - I don't think Triple H will, or should, be putting himself in a match until he faces Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania. If that's the case, who would  take his spot?

 

Dustin/Cody/Bryan/Big Show/?? - Who would be the best addition for that team? Ziggler? At this point? People have mentioned Dusty, but there is no way WWE is putting old guys in the ring again, especially Big Dust.

 

Stephie would put the screws to Show by making him team with Orton/Shield against Bryan/Cody/Dustin/Dolph/Kane. Finish has Show "accidentally" (quotes optional) laying out Orton allowing Bryan to tap him for the finish. Stephie fires Show, leading to a series of vignettes where the 7'4, 500 pound Midnight Rider saddles up and hits the trail for Raw riding a buffalo with YES/NO on its backside.

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If the next step is for HHH/Steph to add another to their ranks, who should it be? They probably should since the entire face locker room is now in a state of revolt. I would love for it to be Wade Barrett. He's a perfect conniving prick, albeit one who has lost a ton lately.  Mark Henry returning to the heel dark side for a boatload of cash?

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Fantasy booking:

 

Let's say they were looking to set up a Wargames match at Battleground, with everything having transpired the way it has until this very moment, who would you put in a 5-on-5 Wargames match? 

 

Orton/Shield/ - I don't think Triple H will, or should, be putting himself in a match until he faces Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania. If that's the case, who would  take his spot?

 

Dustin/Cody/Bryan/Big Show/?? - Who would be the best addition for that team? Ziggler? At this point? People have mentioned Dusty, but there is no way WWE is putting old guys in the ring again, especially Big Dust.

 

Stephie would put the screws to Show by making him team with Orton/Shield against Bryan/Cody/Dustin/Dolph/Kane. Finish has Show "accidentally" (quotes optional) laying out Orton allowing Bryan to tap him for the finish. Stephie fires Show, leading to a series of vignettes where the 7'4, 500 pound Midnight Rider saddles up and hits the trail for Raw riding a buffalo with YES/NO on its backside.

 

 

You're missing Christian on the babyface side. Sub him in for Dolph or Kane.

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If the next step is for HHH/Steph to add another to their ranks, who should it be? They probably should since the entire face locker room is now in a state of revolt. I would love for it to be Wade Barrett. He's a perfect conniving prick, albeit one who has lost a ton lately.  Mark Henry returning to the heel dark side for a boatload of cash?

 

I think they should bring up someone from NXT as an example of how HHH thinks rookies should act.  If Kassius Ohno could look the part of "guy HHH is high on", then he could work.  If he gets his body to where he fits the internet stereotype of what HHH wants, then they could have Steph give him a shave-and-a-haircut makeover.  Or maybe Bo Dallas could fill the role of bland babyface who is more interesting as a heel so that a paranoid Randy Orton worries that HHH is grooming a replacement.

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I also love that HHH stripped Dusty of his NXT commissioner duties -- selling either the injury and because of his opposition -- and replaced him with JBL, who is doing yeoman's work as the asskissing announcer who both understands and defends corporatism.

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