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2018 HORROR MOVIE THREAD


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HOW ABOUT A LITTLE JOE BOB FOR THE HOLIDAYS?
Joe Bob returns to Shudder with not one, but TWO holiday specials! On November 22, Joe Bob will turn Black Friday into Red Thursday with “The Dinners of Death,” the best deadly-dinner movies in history. Then on December 21, tune in for “A Very Joe Bob Christmas!” (And as an extra gift, Shudder has announced plans to launch a regular series featuring Joe Bob in 2019)

 

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So. Over the summer my 10 year old son requested that I take him to see SLENDER MAN. He doesn's like horror films and gets real squeemish. I'm pretty much alone when it comes to horror films at my house. But for some reason he wanted to see this one, probably because he's into all those horror kids games like Five Nights at Freddys. I didn't really care to see it, but I couldn't pass up this opportunity to take my son to his first scary movie. I was ecstatic to go as a father.

We went, and it was...not absolute horrible. He also handled it well, and didn't get really scared.

School started this week in Chicago, and on the first day of school he and another kid were talking about seeing the movie. Another kid jumped in and was like NO WAY THAT MOVIE IS TOO SCARY AND IT'S RATED R.

My kid shut him down and was like it's PG13 and also not that scary.

I was so goddamn happy when I heard this, you guys. He got to be the kid who did the older kid thing that the other kids were too scared to do and I facilitated that. Maybe the best moment in my parenting career. And I'm putting it here for all my fellow horror aficionados to celebrate.

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I think my dad got to experience that when he took me to Darkman. Not the same, but I covered my eyes for the finger chopping scene. He also took me to see Leprechaun 2 but that was just a piece of shit. After that it was all "I'm paying for your ticket, see you in two hours"

So what's a lock for Joe Bob's Dinner night? Texas Chainsaw obviously. Delicatessen? 

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The Nun is projected to have the biggest box office opening of any of the movies from the Conjuring universe

The story I read didn't have specific numbers just kept saying it was "out-selling everything" including Get Out and A Quiet Place

Conjuring 2 holds the franchise record opening at just under $42 million so I guess $50 million isn't out of the question.

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That Joe Bob announcement leaves an opening in my October drinking plans. I was really expecting something around Halloween. I guess I'll just go back and watch the Demon and Re-Animator segments I missed from the last one. As for dinner movies, maybe that I Drink Your Blood piece of shit where the little chubby kid shoots rabies-infected dog blood into meat pies and sells them to some hippy derelicts. Blood Diner. Blood Feast. Motel Hell. Delicatessen is one I still need to get around to watching. The Hills Have Eyes revolves around a fat and juicy baby feast that never comes to fruition. Really anything involving cannibals is a good bet.

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Last night I did a little triple feature of Summer of '84, Der Fan, and Terrifier.

Der Fan was a fun slice of dreamlike insanity. I thought it built up to the crazy ending really well but I could see some people dismissing it as slow, in a bad way.

Summer of '84 was a decent little thriller that brushed up against horror in some parts. I'm a sucker for coming of age movies wrapped in a horror/thriller/sci-fi shell so this scratched my itch pretty well. 

Terrifier was a sleazy little thing, for sure. My sister's friend was one of the victims in it and she got dispatched in a really nasty, mean way. I'm not the type to get scared or squeamish during horror films but I've got to admit, this one made me a tiny bit uncomfortable. I can't even put my finger on why because gore doesn't bug me, clowns don't scare me and I haven't thought a slasher was scary since I needed a babysitter. Even so, this one got under my skin. I wouldn't say it's well made in any way. You can tell the budget was low low low but it was still decent. 

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On 9/7/2018 at 4:15 PM, FluffSnackwell said:

Really anything involving cannibals is a good bet.

I'd totally be down for him doing trivia on a piece of crap like Cannibal Ferox, Eaten Alive or Dr. Butcher M.D. (which is probably my favorite non-Chainsaw cannibal film. I mean you got cannibals AND zombies AND a mad doctor, what more can you ask for?)

It also has the coolest trailer ever that shows basically everything cool in the film (NSFW obviously)

Spoiler

 

 

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The money shot is 

Spoiler

the outboard motor prop driven into the zombie head. If that doesn't make you want to watch the movie then you are either running for the toilet or you might be legally dead. 

Dunno what's up with calling the not-so-good doctor a rapist though, since he does nothing of the sort in the film (luckily). And Dakar from Zombie/Zombi 2 shows up! I unfortunately can't find the video online but there's an extra on the Zombie DVD that is just him playing flamenco guitar and singing that will make you lose it. 

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That one's been on my backlog for a while. It's still on Shudder and I'm sure the alternate title toned down version is also on Amazon if I wake up without my sack one morning. I finally saw Cannibal Ferox recently. Besides all the real animal torture I lost count of, it really decided to outsleaze Cannibal Holocaust in portraying the vile meddling white man as the real savage. Does Burial Ground count as a feast movie considering the breast meal that weird kid decides to make out of his own mother? There's also some of that in Nightmare City. Get the Colonel to sponsor this shit ASAP. Come to think of it, George Romero would've made a passable Colonel. 

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Yeah, Giovanni Radici as the cokehead psycho in Cannibal Ferox is pretty gross. It's such a low-down film that I've only watched it once, and like Dr. Butcher, if you have the trailer sitting around you don't need to watch the film at all. Eaten Alive is at least reasonable goofy with its Jim Jones-in-the-jungle plotline, and Dr. Butcher both doesn't have any animal murder and is just so dizzy you can't take it seriously. If Burial Ground/The Nights of Terror counts then we should get Cannibal Apocalypse (the film of a thousand titles) with John Saxon (and Giovanni Radici)! Now THAT film is a blast, and I'm still pissed that a friend of mine lost my copy of it. 

NSFW of course

The extras on that were great too, with Antonio Margheriti and John Saxon both badmouthing the film because they had to shoot extra gore that wasn't in the original script. 

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I think I might have caught Eaten Alive one night halfway through on the Freakmax Roku Channel. It definitely featured a Jim Jones analog. The main thing I remember is Janet Agren butt naked in gold paint. Speaking of Roku genre channels, this probably belongs in Piranesi's cult thread, but Shockwerks (which I only discovered two weeks ago after getting a Roku player nearly a month ago) is closing up shop tomorrow. That sucks because last week alone, Anthropophagus, Alligator, and Darkness: The Vampire Version all played in the middle of the day last week. Plus last Saturday Night they played some kind of Goblin concert, even though I didn't recognize all the movies playing on stage behind them. Oh well, at least B-Movie TV goes all out horror next month. 

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Alligator seriously needs a re-release that's not a Korean or German import. I dunno who has the rights right now (Lions Gate probably) but you'd think it would have its own Blu Ray out from Scream Factory or somebody. 

EDIT: Of course you can always watch it for free on Youtube 

I forgot that both Henry Silva and Frankie Five Angels from The Godfather II were in this

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I didn't remember anybody being in it of note either other than obviously Robert Forster. Don't forget Cheswick from One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Speaking of The Godfather, I pulled up the wedding/rich prick party massacre scene on YouTube and my idiot buddy jokingly asked if this was The Godfather? I still can't figure out what that kid's asshole brother intended to happen to him besides drowning even if a giant alligator wasn't frolicking in the swimming pool.

I also saw a trailer on Shockwerks for this movie I remember from Cinemax years ago with giant ass killer cockroaches that were on fire and caught whoever they attacked on fire as well. I had no idea what it was called until the past week. I've seen The Nest a few times and knew that wasn't it. If a full-length version is on YouTube anywhere, I can't find it. Sure, you can rent it, but fuck that. This is the damn thing starring Bradford Dillman with his butch facial hair all grown in and apparently one of the last things William Castle had a hand in.

 

 

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Bug looks fucking ridiculous. Poor Bill Castle thought he could escape the B-movie ghetto with Rosemary's Baby and then got not only railroaded out of directing it by Polanski but dropped right back into the trough afterwards. The documentary his daughter put out about him underlines this pretty well. 

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On 9/9/2018 at 1:31 PM, FluffSnackwell said:

I think I might have caught Eaten Alive one night halfway through on the Freakmax Roku Channel. It definitely featured a Jim Jones analog. The main thing I remember is Janet Agren butt naked in gold paint. Speaking of Roku genre channels, this probably belongs in Piranesi's cult thread, but Shockwerks (which I only discovered two weeks ago after getting a Roku player nearly a month ago) is closing up shop tomorrow. That sucks because last week alone, Anthropophagus, Alligator, and Darkness: The Vampire Version all played in the middle of the day last week. Plus last Saturday Night they played some kind of Goblin concert, even though I didn't recognize all the movies playing on stage behind them. Oh well, at least B-Movie TV goes all out horror next month. 

Damn, that's a major bummer on Shockwerks, especially after American Horrors and Bizarre TV also bit the dust earlier this year.

Thanks for the tip on Freakmax. Haven't heard of that one so will need to check it out.

Any other recommendations out there for rando Roku streaming channels of horror and B-movies besides Freakmax and B-Movie TV?

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On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 4:32 PM, jaedmc said:

So. Over the summer my 10 year old son requested that I take him to see SLENDER MAN. He doesn's like horror films and gets real squeemish. I'm pretty much alone when it comes to horror films at my house. But for some reason he wanted to see this one, probably because he's into all those horror kids games like Five Nights at Freddys. I didn't really care to see it, but I couldn't pass up this opportunity to take my son to his first scary movie. I was ecstatic to go as a father.

We went, and it was...not absolute horrible. He also handled it well, and didn't get really scared.

School started this week in Chicago, and on the first day of school he and another kid were talking about seeing the movie. Another kid jumped in and was like NO WAY THAT MOVIE IS TOO SCARY AND IT'S RATED R.

My kid shut him down and was like it's PG13 and also not that scary.

I was so goddamn happy when I heard this, you guys. He got to be the kid who did the older kid thing that the other kids were too scared to do and I facilitated that. Maybe the best moment in my parenting career. And I'm putting it here for all my fellow horror aficionados to celebrate.

I took my 15 year old daughter to see IT! and it was great.  Slender Man was kinda meh, though.

If Hurricane Florence does not destroy the entire Mid-Atlantic region, we'll probably go see The Nun on Saturday afternoon around lunch time.

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One of the most underrated horror franchises in history is “Candyman.” The series, which famously starred Tony Todd in the titular role as the urban legend slasher, spawned multiple sequels and became the scariest thing to millions of children in the early ‘90s that stayed up late to try to summon the boogeyman in the mirror. While many horror fans remember the series, the legacy of the “Candyman” franchise has been overshadowed by the likes of “Nightmare on Elm Street,” “Halloween,” and “Friday the 13th,” among others.

Perhaps, Jordan Peele can fix that.

According to a report from Bloody Disgusting, Peele’s Monkeypaw Productions is in talks to produce a brand-new “Candyman” film. Everyone already knows the filmmaker’s interest in the horror genre, and considering Todd’s character is one of the more legendary slashers out there, it would be fun to see Peele take a stab at the bad guy.

FUCK YEAH~!

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