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Raw Is Kalisto Is Garbage Like All of You - 4/24/2017


Dolfan in NYC

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Well, that was not the fat guy I wanted to see at the end.  I wonder if that SA to Miz was a float for a future face turn.  Hell, if anyone absolutely needs it, it's Bray.

Also, Roman's gonna win on Sunday, and that really sucks. 

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Not sure how Roman can win if the plan is Lesnar vs Braun. Actually, really not sure how they can keep Roman and Lesnar apart for a year. 

Fun show. Handicap matches are the worst stipulation in wrestling history. This is doubly so when the face/heel dynamic is flipped. 

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Nevermind all that Bray stuff. Alexa Bliss killed it on the mic. From shutting down the yes chants, to asking if Bayley has ever kissed a boy, to asking if Sasha packs Bayley's lunches for her.

I love the nod to the unspoken WWE rule that the baby face always loses in their hometown and that's why Bliss is so confident. The women's title picture is great on Raw right now.

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Management styles Volume 1:

Mick Foley: No, Sami, you fairly large man who has proven he can handle himself in a fight, I won't let you face Braun. I will shut down this broadcast and weep tears to keep you from hurting yourself like that. I will trade you to another company to protect you.


Kurt Angle [on the phone]: Yeah sure Kalisto, tiny brown elf who needs constant protection from other predatory mammals, you can chain yourself to Braun. Just make sure he's sleeping when you do it. Ok! Knock yourself out buddy and I'll see you on the other side!

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  • There are no human beings on Planet Earth that I love more than my family, my bae, or Kalisto and Braun right now.  Even if Kalisto had been allowed to wrestle with an actual sawblade attached to the top of his mask, he still would've been wheeled out of that arena as a cripple.
  • So, that main event was a main event... I guess... Bray Wyatt continues to be booked in a manner that makes absolutely no sense.
  • Yeah, I was praying just like you that Finn would fucking turn heel tonight and reunite with Gallows and Anderson.  BALOR CLUB~!
  • God bless TJ Perkins.  You could see the skeletal hand of Death itself snatch the soul smoke from his mouth after AA hit that Discus Elbow finisher.
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Management styles Volume 2:

Mick Foley: Damn it, Sami, even if it means you personally hate me forever, I will PROTECT YOU FROM YOURSELF! You are BANNED FROM THE ARENA while Braun is here!

 

 

Kurt Angle [on the phone]: Hey did we fill that dumpster with something like puffy soft packing popcorn or styrofoam? Broken Legos and vinegar? Yeah. Fine. By the way why do have so much of those? Did he? Did it work? How much blood? Whatever I gotta go.

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Management Styles Volume 3:

Sami Zayne: He disrespected me, Mick!

Mick Foley: We've all been there. I've had dirt kicked on me so many times I can't even remember most of them. But you need to take a step back and realize that this isn't a battle you can win. Let me drive with you tonight and I'll tell you about what respect means and we'll see if you still feel the same way.

 

Kalisto [weeping]: He treated me like garbage, Kurt! Do you know what it's like to be treated like garbage?

Kurt Angle: What? No. Of course not. I'm Kurt Freakin Angle. I'm huge and white. Now get out there and fly away to victory! And pick up that candy wrapper. and hey! If you bleed in that dumpster the down payment comes out of your check!

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I loved Kalisto's Mutoh-like mask. I was hoping Braun would get a face full of red mist. In a perfect world, Kalisto would lose his mind after being repeatedly dumped in the garbage, and turn into a savage killer, which btw, is Rellik spelled backwards.

I love the Drifter just drifting around backstage playing his guitar.

I would love to see more of Joe teaming with Gallows & Anderson. Balor turning on Seth feels so obvious, so it's probably not going to happen.

 

 

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19 minutes ago, EVA said:

Boy, was Seth's new Rainmaker finish not over at all.

"Okada/Omega got 6 stars huh? Maybe if I take both of their signature moves and combine them into one super move where I smash my surgically repaired knee into my opponent's face, the people will finally accept me as a baby face!" -Seth Rollins, probably

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