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Smackdown is... Something About A Crucifix? - 3/28/2017


Dolfan in NYC

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  • Dolfan in NYC changed the title to Smackdown is... Something About A Crucifix? - 3/28/2017

As I plunge this, the Halberd of the Order of the Round Seer of Kreel, into this, the hallowed resting place of Glor, I seal your fate and begin the Age of Arnocalypse.  May Hextal have mercy on your third outer soul!!!!!

 

Randy Orton is the best Larp Master. Now let's finish this skirmish and then break for orange slices.

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That train ride looks like one hell of an acid trip.

Admittedly, I only tuned in for Bray/Harper.

Brodie Lee/Luke Harper not wearing a dirty, white wifebeater and dirty blue jeans feels wrong to me. I don't think the Harper turn will be for long. I think Bray, Harper, and Rowan reunite at WM.

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So post-Wyatt Luke Harper is the same guy but he raided Dean Ambrose's ring gear. 

Speaking of Ambrose, he and Corbin have a title match of what's been a pretty violent feud this weekend and neither of them were on the show.  Then again the tag titles aren't even being defended despite AA having a contractual rematch and an on again off again feud with the current champs.

Miz and Maryse got completely destroyed and even though I've never been a big fan of Cena, everything he said was true.

I'm pretty much over Elsworth at this point, but his bit was actually pretty funny.  They really should have saved Naomi's return for this weekend, but I guess this was some way to generate more interest in the match?  That running rana was sick though. 

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I thought the finale of Total Bellas Bullshit was outstanding.  I was dying at the Daniel Bryan stuff and then when Miz and Maryse took off the Cena/Nikki garb and went serious it got dark and I loved it even more. What a show by those two.  So then Cena comes out and cuts an amazing, scathing promo of his own.  I'm into this big time.

However, Cena saying Maryse is useless and a waste of space and does nothing all while he takes up 99.9% of the promo time between he and Nikki (and for good reason)....  

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I figured out why Cena's promos bother me. Guy never gets angry at anything. Its always the same scathing annoyance every time punctuated with random (yet somehow understated) shouting. 

Stuff like tonight would work better if he seemed pissed off and not on the verge of checking his watch at the end of every sentence. Fingers crossed Miz gets to work with an actual fiery babyface again after Mania. 

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I would love to see Miz and Maryse win but something tells me that Cena and Nikki are going to beat the crap out of them and it won't be pretty.  If the ultimate goal of this match is for Cena to propose to Nikki then is winning really that necessary?

Yes Cena spent a ton of time talking about women's revolution and empowerment and then called Maryse useless (even though she was a champ at least twice and basically put Nikki in the corner for about 10 minutes until the last sentence

If Carmella is willing to share used gum with the WWE version of Jimmy Dreams (Ellsworth) imagine how lucky Big Cass is 

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Great to see Naomi make it back for Mania although I agree that her return should have been saved for the big show. But whatever. The reaction she received was pretty awesome though. 

Cena totally killed Maryse and The Miz. I almost felt sorry for them lol 

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Cena and Miz are on fire right now. Remember when the mixed tag rumor leaked and no on was sold on the idea? I think this is the best built program on Smackdown. Part of me wants to see Miz and Maryse win, but another part of me would be totally fine with a quick squash, wedding proposal, and cut-aways to Total Bellas fans in the audience crying tears of joy. I can't believe how much I'm enjoying this feud.

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5 minutes ago, BorneAgain said:

I figured out why Cena's promos bother me. Guy never gets angry at anything. Its always the same scathing annoyance every time punctuated with random (yet somehow understated) shouting. 

Stuff like tonight would work better if he seemed pissed off and not on the verge of checking his watch at the end of every sentence. 

He's an Alpha Male. When you're supremely confident, you don't sweat shit. 

 

He absolutely  pulled Miz' bitch card tonight, and for as clever as he is, there wasn't anything shooty enough he could've said to  get the crowd back. 

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I think the reason why The Miz wasn't given time for rebuttal is this. We've seen him on Talking Smack in a live environment without a script. He would have eviscerated Cena.  All Cena was saying is the same shit The Rock said to him 3 years ago. The stuff about Maryse was BS and really dumb considering Nikki has also had work done and is not good on the mic..  and clearly he feels the same way considering she only had one line and delivered it poorly.

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2 minutes ago, Niners Fan in CT said:

I think the reason why The Miz wasn't given time for rebuttal is this. We've seen him on Talking Smack in a live environment without a script. He would have eviscerated Cena.  All Cena was saying is the same shit The Rock said to him 3 years ago. The stuff about Maryse was BS and really dumb considering Nikki has also had work done and is not good on the mic..  and clearly he feels the same way considering she only had one line and delivered it poorly.

Shit. Nikki messed up the spot of "taking off wrist bands".

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The funny thing is I think Cena could hold his own no matter what Miz threw at him; its just the smug, uncaring dismissal attitude from the former doesn't really do much for the angle. On paper Miz is entirely the heel, but its hard for me to not root for him just by sheer virtue of the fact he actually seems to give a shit about this entire program. Well Nikki does too, her delivery is just so awkward its hard to tell her sincerity. I get that its just a silly mixed tag to act as a prelude to the proposal, but after watching so many pissed off babyface promos on the Network, its weird to go to this and see one with a figure so uncaring about the whole thing. 

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Cena had some weird logic. Maryse is a waste of space and Nikki didn't block her return but WWE gave into to bringing her back because Miz wanted to be on Total Divas? What? None of that made any sense. Nor did making fun of them for not having kids when that's never been a part of their story like it's been with Nikki.

His delivery was great, though.

Nikki checking herself out on the big screen and adjusting her hair while Cena was cutting his fiery promo reminded me of Shawn Michaels.

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Cena's promo had issues.   But the idea of calling Maryse silicone when Nikki Bella is sporting breast implants the size of cantaloupes is not the way to get me to see your side of the argument. And at least Maryse can be counted on to deliver her promos with some emotion, unlike Nikki's wooden delivery tonight.

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28 minutes ago, Sammo~! said:

Cena and Miz are on fire right now. Remember when the mixed tag rumor leaked and no on was sold on the idea? I think this is the best built program on Smackdown. Part of me wants to see Miz and Maryse win, but another part of me would be totally fine with a quick squash, wedding proposal, and cut-aways to Total Bellas fans in the audience crying tears of joy. I can't believe how much I'm enjoying this feud.

Cena and Miz have been fantastic. I still don't want to see a mixed tag. I would be all in on this if it was singles match between the two.

21 minutes ago, Niners Fan in CT said:

I think the reason why The Miz wasn't given time for rebuttal is this. We've seen him on Talking Smack in a live environment without a script. He would have eviscerated Cena. 

We've seen Cena succeed in that same environment so I'm not really sure where makes you think this.

16 minutes ago, Charlie M. said:

Cena had some weird logic. Maryse is a waste of space and Nikki didn't block her return but WWE gave into to bringing her back because Miz wanted to be on Total Divas? What? None of that made any sense. Nor did making fun of them for not having kids when that's never been a part of their story like it's been with Nikki

He said WWE didn't bring Maryse back because they didn't want her until Miz begged and pleaded. Not really sure what is weird in that logic. To talk shit about someone not having kids while being a couple, but not having any yourself while being married for so many years is weird. You can say its not a part of their story, but for many (wrong or right) its the next logical step after marriage so it works.

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Cena's promo was so brutal - and there was no sort of comeback from the Miz, verbal or physical - that I almost think Miz and Maryse win Sunday.  I'm probably deluding myself, though, and the heels will get their ass beat so Cena can propose. I dunno.  Cena has cut a couple damn good promos, as has Miz, but..... I still don't care about these four in a mixed tag match.  Especially since the proposal rumor - if true - probably means the faces win.  I kinda wish they would do a post-match proposal angle and then either Cena or Nikki would turn heel, but that seems really unlikely and kinda mean.  Nikki turning Cena down and giving a stunned Cena a rack bomb would generate a nuclear response from the crowd, though.

Rest of the show was there and mostly revolved around things i don't care about it.  Smackdown's contribution to the battle royal being their jobberish tag team division is sorta funny.  Poor Usos and American Alpha.  They deserve better.

Dug Naomi's return and she's got a great look and ring gear right now.  Guessing she wins the title.  I guess they gave up trying to get former "divas" to return as surprise entrants.  Obviously, they were angling for Lita or Trish, but they seemed more likely to inflict Kelly Kelly or Maria on us.  

Bray's stuff is so, so bad.  And now he's got Harper aping his promos and Randy Orton doing..... weird stuff.  The only thing that could save this for me is if they go full-on cornball and bring out Papa Shango and Mantaur as Bray's new flunkies.  Nah, I'm kidding.  Nothing could save this angle for me.

Dean and Corbin not even being on the show seems a good indicator of how important that match is to the company.  Hey, remember when Ambrose seemed on the verge of breaking out!

 

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3 minutes ago, Eivion said:

Cena and Miz have been fantastic. I still don't want to see a mixed tag. I would be all in on this if it was singles match between the two.

We've seen Cena succeed in that same environment so I'm not really sure where makes you think this.

He said WWE didn't bring Maryse back because they didn't want her until Miz begged and pleaded. Not really sure what is weird in that logic. To talk shit about someone not having kids while being a couple, but not having any yourself while being married for so many years is weird. You can say its not a part of their story, but for many (wrong or right) its the next logical step after marriage so it works.

So she's worthless and they turned down Miz wanting her around for three years but suddenly Miz wants to be on Total Divas and he's got so much influence that he gets to bring his worthless wife back? Doesn't check out at all. Probably because we all know that she probably did block Maryse and Kelly and others from coming back.

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25 minutes ago, Niners Fan in CT said:

Because The Miz has reached a level on the microphone this year that I haven't seen anyone reach in a very long time.

And all that "amazing" mic work got slayed in a 3 minute promo. 

The champ is here, indeed...

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The problem with Cena criticizing Miz/Maryse for not having kids is it's safe to assume they together have made choices regarding their potential family. So far, Cena has made the decisions about marriage and children in his relationship on his own.  That looks to be changing, granted.

But that's sort of why Miz looks better on some level.  Because Maryse has agency in their lives.  She has a say, she probably makes a lot of decisions for both of them.  Based on what we've seen, Cena dictates every term in he and Nikki's relationship.  That's breaking the fourth wall, but this feud has been toeing that line as it is.

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