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Thinking of my best friend today, Lisa who was only 26. I love you xxx.

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I went to work on Tuesday, and was greeted by an email from the ops manager yelling at me for not working a heldesk ticket from the night before. Unfortunately, had she actually bothered to read the details, she'd have seen that it wasn't an urgent matter that require the person being called at 11:00 PM.  I emailed her back and pointed this out. I also spoke with the three managers I deal with on a daily basis, and they call agreed that I was right.

 

Two days later, and she still hasn't returend my email. Curious............😀

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one of my closest friends from high school is in mortal danger and there's nothing anyone can do and I'm in just enough shock to be able to write this but not do anything else

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Posted (edited)

First off, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone affected by the bombings in Sri Lanka. 

On a personal level, my father is supposed to be released from UPenn Hospital tomorrow. He said he got a lot of calls from family in Greece to check on him. On his side of the family, he and I are the only ones in the US. Everyone else is in Greece, except for a brother and his family in New Zealand. He's had several brothers and sisters pass away young, including his brother I'm named after.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Niki

I had a nice Easter dinner with my immediate family. I celebrate Easter twice since my mother is Catholic and my grandmother converted to Catholicism when she got married. Next week is Orthodox Easter. I'm not overly religious. I do like to believe that my mom's father and brother are looking out for us. It gives me a level of comfort. From my time in the funeral field, I've seen people's faith help them deal with the loss of loved ones. If it helps to believe your friends and family that have gone before you will be waiting for you in paradise, who am I to say it's wrong? Frankly, I hope it's not wrong. I'll never knock another person's religious beliefs, whatever they may be.

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie
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My kids will be going to the science expo! The only downside is that they won't be allowed to present their project. Because, being so young, it's not considered high-end research compared with what other kids will be showing (which beckons the question of why they say it's for K-12, although that's likely to change next year after the stink that the school made). But, instead of being shut out, they'll be going to observe, so that in a couple of years they'll know what exactly to expect when they can present something.

 

The school is putting up the money for a hotel room for the weekend, and also reimbursement for the gas to take them there and for meals. 

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So I haven't spoken with anyone from my immediate family in five years now, as of today, shortly after I told them that I was definitely transgender and I was going to start seeking hormone replacement therapy. Their reaction was about as I expected.

I knew I was a girl for as long as I could remember. I was bounced around from therapist to therapist by my parents who thought it was something that could be "fixed" and I could magically start thinking I was a boy again, including attempts at conversion therapy (which included electroconvulsive therapy that did not work and I wasn't properly sedated for, so I have a lot of recurring nightmares about it). They would also abuse me physically and emotionally whenever I would insist that I was a girl, so I just stopped talking about it and went along with what they were saying so they would just stop hitting me.

This triggered a couple of mental breakdowns and suicide attempts, because I was massively uncomfortable living the way they wanted me to. I hated who I was becoming and I knew I had to stop it, but by that point I had been gaslighted into thinking being transgender was something to be ashamed of, so I had no way out of who I was.

Fortunately I found a place where I was comfortable being myself, far away from their reach, and eventually got to the point where I could start HRT. And when I told my family what I was doing, their response was to threaten me all over again, including sending threatening letters to my job (and one of them actually showed up to try and fight me in the parking lot). Eventually I cut them off. Changed my phone numbers and got protection orders against them. They gave up and decided to start telling their friends I had died in a car crash. They would rather have a dead son than a trans daughter. Oh well.

My co-workers don't understand why I never talk about my family. The ones who I did talk to about them would always suggest that I should try to mend fences, because "you only get one family". To that, I say that I am much happier with my group of similarly cast-off friends with the little patchwork family we built instead. You may only get one blood family but you can build your own however you choose.

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Posted (edited)

I've talked about being a caretaker for my 91 year old grandmother, and my biological father's recent heart attack. Now, my mother has a hard lump on her leg. She went to a dermatologist to have it checked out and they took a biopsy to hopefully rule out any cancer. I also mentioned my family history of cancer in the Roman thread when he announced his. Her and my step-father were supposed to go to the Bahamas in mid-May, but they've cancelled. They did buy insurance for it, so they're getting the money back, but that's minor in the big picture.

I'm scared to death. Yes, I'll be 39 in November, but I still don't know what I'd do without my mother. We've always been very close with me being the only child and her a single mother. Some might say I was a "mama's boy", but those were the circumstances. Her and my step-father got married when I was 16. My mother has been there for me no matter what mistakes I've made. She's been there for me after two suicide attempts, a drinking problem, cocaine addiction, and a failed engagement. She understands the depression and anxiety I deal with because she also suffers from them. She's been supportive with all the issues I've had relating to my father over the years. She knows that despite the flaws, her son is a compassionate, caring, and genuinely good person. I think I'd be lost without her. I don't how I would take care of yia yia on my own. I don't know how much more I can take. 

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie
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16 hours ago, Stefanie the Human said:

My co-workers don't understand why I never talk about my family. The ones who I did talk to about them would always suggest that I should try to mend fences, because "you only get one family". To that, I say that I am much happier with my group of similarly cast-off friends with the little patchwork family we built instead. You may only get one blood family but you can build your own however you choose.

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the womb."  Found family is family. Take care of yourself. 

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18 hours ago, Stefanie the Human said:

My co-workers don't understand why I never talk about my family. The ones who I did talk to about them would always suggest that I should try to mend fences, because "you only get one family". To that, I say that I am much happier with my group of similarly cast-off friends with the little patchwork family we built instead. You may only get one blood family but you can build your own however you choose.

Today is my sister's birthday, and marks about a decade since I've spoken to that phoney, nasty woman. Far as I'm concerned, I have no blood-family and that's perfectly fine. I was always the black sheep that never had a "real" job ("Oh, he talks to people on the telephone is all.."), look, just because you can't understand what I do doesn't mean that there isn't considerable value in it. Oh, my D-list celebrity status? What the hell, I get paid for doing something that I'd probably do for free. I have a huge family, (including some folks here on this board) that I wouldn't trade for anything. That last sentence you wrote are some of the wisest words I've ever seen posted on the Internetz. 

Peace,

John

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10 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I've talked about being a caretaker for my 91 year old grandmother, and my biological father's recent heart attack. Now, my mother has a hard lump on her leg. She went to a dermatologist to have it checked out and they took a biopsy to hopefully rule out any cancer. I also mentioned my family history of cancer in the Roman thread when he announced his. Her and my step-father were supposed to go to the Bahamas in mid-May, but they've cancelled. They did buy insurance for it, so they're getting the money back, but that's minor in the big picture.

I'm scared to death. Yes, I'll be 39 in November, but I still don't know what I'd do without my mother. We've always been very close with me being the only child and her a single mother. Some might say I was a "mama's boy", but those were the circumstances. Her and my step-father got married when I was 16. My mother has been there for me no matter what mistakes I've made. She's been there for me after two suicide attempts, a drinking problem, cocaine addiction, and a failed engagement. She understands the depression and anxiety I deal with because she also suffers from them. She's been supportive with all the issues I've had relating to my father over the years. She knows that despite the flaws, her son is a compassionate, caring, and genuinely good person. I think I'd be lost without her. I don't how I would take care of yia yia on my own. I don't know how much more I can take. 

I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on tv, but I do know a few things... We always tend to suspect the worst, even when there's no basis in doing so. Based on your age and your grandmother's age, I think I have a pretty good ballpark figure as to how old your mom is. Women of that age are very, very prone to getting cysts in the lower extremities. Or, not to put too fine a point on it, "hard lumps on the leg". You're probably worrying needlessly, so cut it out. Stay strong, little brother we never get more than we can deal with.

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20 hours ago, Stefanie the Human said:

My co-workers don't understand why I never talk about my family. The ones who I did talk to about them would always suggest that I should try to mend fences, because "you only get one family".

People who say that are either fucking idiots or have never had any type of real family issues so they can't comprehend what it's like to have toxic family members.  "Both" is also an option.  It is absolutely none of their business.  Fuck do I hate it when people universalize their limited experiences instead of having empathy and realizing other people's lives might be different from theirs.

You just keep doing your thing.  Good on ya.

 

12 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I've talked about being a caretaker for my 91 year old grandmother, and my biological father's recent heart attack. Now, my mother has a hard lump on her leg. She went to a dermatologist to have it checked out and they took a biopsy to hopefully rule out any cancer. I also mentioned my family history of cancer in the Roman thread when he announced his. Her and my step-father were supposed to go to the Bahamas in mid-May, but they've cancelled. They did buy insurance for it, so they're getting the money back, but that's minor in the big picture.

I'm scared to death. Yes, I'll be 39 in November, but I still don't know what I'd do without my mother. We've always been very close with me being the only child and her a single mother. Some might say I was a "mama's boy", but those were the circumstances. Her and my step-father got married when I was 16. My mother has been there for me no matter what mistakes I've made. She's been there for me after two suicide attempts, a drinking problem, cocaine addiction, and a failed engagement. She understands the depression and anxiety I deal with because she also suffers from them. She's been supportive with all the issues I've had relating to my father over the years. She knows that despite the flaws, her son is a compassionate, caring, and genuinely good person. I think I'd be lost without her. I don't how I would take care of yia yia on my own. I don't know how much more I can take. 

Hang in there, man.  If all else fails, say the goddamn words, you're gonna be okay!  😉

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Posted (edited)
18 minutes ago, Technico Support said:

People who say that are either fucking idiots or have never had any type of real family issues so they can't comprehend what it's like to have toxic family members.  "Both" is also an option.  It is absolutely none of their business.  Fuck do I hate it when people universalize their limited experiences instead of having empathy and realizing other people's lives might be different from theirs.

What do you think it's taking for those people to keep putting up with what is probably their own shitty family?  A metric fuckload of compartmentalization and hypocritical rationalizing.  Or, as you say, equally large amounts of ignorance and privilege.

Count me in the group of "family you choose", too.  

EDIT: Also, Eddie, you really are lucky to have had both types of families to the extent that you have.  If my father were on fire, the only reason I'd piss on him to put it out is because the Ned Stark/Steve Rogers voice in my head would make a big fat frowny face at me if I didn't.  Having people, even in shitty and anxious and stressful situations, is better than not having them, good situation or bad.

Edited by Contentious C
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1 hour ago, Contentious C said:

What do you think it's taking for those people to keep putting up with what is probably their own shitty family?  A metric fuckload of compartmentalization and hypocritical rationalizing.  Or, as you say, equally large amounts of ignorance and privilege.

 

I didn't even consider option 3 like you did (people with shitty families that managed to successfully instill the "family is everything" bullshit in their heads.  Which is worse than the other two!

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Posted (edited)

An early Happy Easter to @NikoBaltimore and any other DVDVR members that might be members of any other Orthodox Christian faith.

Ο Χριστός ανέστη

O Christós anésti

Ο Χριστός ανέστη

O Christós anésti

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie
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On 4/27/2019 at 11:27 PM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

An early Happy Easter to @NikoBaltimore and any other DVDVR members that might be members of any other Orthodox Christian faith.

Ο Χριστός ανέστη

O Christós anésti

Ο Χριστός ανέστη

O Christós anésti

Thank you very much!  Same to you, good sir.  Yesterday was full of drinking shitty beer, running errands/picking up people, and eating lots and lots of food.   We ended up getting the lamb on late due to technical difficulties but by the time it was ready I ate as much as I possibly could.  I freaking love that stuff, man.  And my dad apparently has a lamb tenderloin to give me so I'm way looking forward to that.  Add to that having octopus and lamb intestine (kokoretsi I believe it's called which my 6-year-old nephew couldn't get enough of) and it was a pretty awesome day.  Hope all was well for you as well yesterday.

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Posted (edited)

Mine was a nice quiet, relaxing day with church in the morning. I was too tired for the 11 pm mass Saturday night. 

I found out today my mother has skin cancer. She's going next Monday to have the lump on her right leg, which has since turned black removed. She doesn't seem that worried about it since it was caught early. It's not like she's had this thing for months and just now decided to get it checked. If she's not too worried about it, I guess I shouldn't be. With my family history of cancer, but not skin cancer, I guess it's hard for me to hear my mother has it and not be scared.

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie

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I found out Thursday that my phone is on its deathbed. I had it next to me, and suddenly got a voicemail alert even though it never rang. I tried calling back and the call kept failing. I go to Walmart (the only place in town that I can get a new phone) and they won't have anything from my carrier for at least two weeks (despite their website having two listed as being in stock). I ordered a new one offline and I'll gave it by Tuesday. This is the *ONE* time that everything down here moving slow as mollasses is a blessing. I put in for a job, and the posting closed on Thursday, so highly unlikely they'd be calling me before Tuesday anyway. And, if they do, I'll at least get a VM.

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Found out yesterday that the reason it was raining in my living room is because the dormer on the roof is rotting. And the shingles are old. So I've gotten myself approved for a $4170 12-month same-as-cash loan to get the front half of the roof replaced. 

Are there rules about not posting GoFundMe's here? I won't spam it, just will have the link in this post once I set it up. 

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2 hours ago, JLSigman said:

Are there rules about not posting GoFundMe's here? I won't spam it, just will have the link in this post once I set it up. 

If it's ok to post it, recommend putting the link in your signature.  That way every single one of your posts will mention it, without being annoying.  (Maybe you already thought of this yourself, but just in case)

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So somebody hacked my wife's online account at Nordstroms, changed the shipping address and bought some properly ugly shoes.  These are the worst of em. $995 for a guinea pig humping a loafer.

b1069faf-96bd-43cc-aa96-66a1728faf29.jpe

Also, I'm pretty sure I've said it in one of these threads that got closed, but fuck chiggers.

 

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So I had a (relatively minor) stroke on Saturday night. So that was an experience. Still waiting for my eyesight to come back to normal. My insurance doesn't kick in until next month, but Kaiser gave me some temporary month long thing to cover me, which is nice. 

 

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On 5/8/2019 at 10:39 PM, Ace said:

So I had a (relatively minor) stroke on Saturday night. So that was an experience. Still waiting for my eyesight to come back to normal. My insurance doesn't kick in until next month, but Kaiser gave me some temporary month long thing to cover me, which is nice. 

 

Sorry to hear. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery and good health from here.

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My 10+ year old labrador has stopped drinking, and will barely eat. It breaks my heart to see her (or any animal) suffering. I'm afraid Monday I'll have to have her put down. That's the downside to pets: your life is so much longer than theirs (not that I would trade the 10 years I had with her for anything). 

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, BrianS81177 said:

My 10+ year old labrador has stopped drinking, and will barely eat. It breaks my heart to see her (or any animal) suffering. I'm afraid Monday I'll have to have her put down. That's the downside to pets: your life is so much longer than theirs (not that I would trade the 10 years I had with her for anything). 

So sorry. Pets are family who give such love and companionship to you. Animals rock for that and locality too.

Best wishes, @Ace.

Edited by The Natural

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On 5/18/2019 at 2:12 PM, BrianS81177 said:

My 10+ year old labrador has stopped drinking, and will barely eat. It breaks my heart to see her (or any animal) suffering. I'm afraid Monday I'll have to have her put down. That's the downside to pets: your life is so much longer than theirs (not that I would trade the 10 years I had with her for anything). 

I know this isn't the good news thread, but... Dog kicked out at 2. Turned out she just has arthritis in her back legs. Vet gave me some pills to give her. Gave her the first one last night. This morning I go to give her the second one and she pops right up and trots right over to me like nothing's wrong. 

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