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Gonzo

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a brief overview of the extremely good weekend that just passed

  • Still going through mental health stuff during all of this
  • Discovered that multiple members of my friend group were literal fascists, a bunch of drama ensued and now the group is divided forever
    • in the process of the above, got accused of being in a cult
  • While all that was exploding there was a death in the family of a friend's husband
  • this was all saturday
  • The next day, one of my friends workdays starts with watching a driver hop a median and clobber a roadworker at 40mph
  • Another friend's mother went missing and, after several phone calls, turns out she's in prison and she forgot to tell either of her children.
  • While being unable to sleep, I ended up rehashing what happened to yet another friend that came in late on the whole thing, and then to cool off after finding that out, checked the news and learned one of my favorite musicians and composers had passed away.

man, therapy this week is gonna be a blast. "So how've you been?" "SECRET NAZIS EVERYWHERE"

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On 3/23/2019 at 9:58 PM, RolandTHTG said:

I really don't know.

My father's still terminally ill, but pushing shit up hill as best he can, taking care of my grandfather who's 94 and alzheimers well and truly set in, but incredibly physically healthy for his age and will probably out live us all, and his autistic older brother/my uncle, who burns through all disposable income they have trying to fund his.....burgeoning porn empire with his late 90s style website that no-one in their right mind would ever subscribe to.  Once my Dad dies from this, that is a multitude of shit on the other side of the world I am in no way capable of dealing with.

My mother had a stroke recently, leaving behind a severely underinsured business, a series of hidden bank accounts no-one can reach, and a property portfolio that was The Big Short-esque in being over-leveraged. Not a single cent in principle paid off any mortgages, all valued well less than the mortgage taken out on each. Hadn't really spoken to her in recent months, but figured I'd try to help out remaining family with insurance claims and any other business admin I can lend some expertise to. This has lead to remaining family putting a caveat on my home as it's the only one with any real value, and the one trip to the hospital being screamed at in front of my 18 month old daughter that I was responsible for her having the stroke, as I didn't visit her enough. Cool. Not interested, you guys do you.

Looked at selling our place before the market gets really bad. It's not really worth it. Either from a value perspective, or the constant need to keep the place spotless enough for 10 minutes to show someone through it before 18 mth old destroys everything. On the other hand, barely treading water from a debt perspective, and a 3.5 hr round trip to work is just not sustainable anymore. Guess it goes on the backburner until the market improves, or we have no other choice. Super worried for my MIL who went guarantor for us despite all logic saying bad investment.

Slowly being performance managed out at work. I'm garbage/dangerously under-qualified at what I do, but have been for 3 years,  and escaped scrutiny until I complained about working from home access being revoked for parents in the team. Now, a weekly humiliating work review, and 10 weeks to go on a performance improvement plan that I have no chance of meeting, and as much as I want to portray my boss as an evil asshole, it's very much a "here's 12 weeks to find a new job" scenario. Have spent most of my weekends doing extra work for essentially no progress, so this is the first one that I've thrown in the towel and decided to spend it with family. Job hunt is pretty ordinary - nothing really has gone my way - a lot of positions I've interviewed well only for an internal promotion to occur, or the money hasn't been something I've been in a position to accept. On the other hand, lot of self destructive behavior. Walked out of one interview after the interviewer made a homophobic slur that I thought was the final red flag. In hindsight, I would have got that job and it would have paid well. Principles are a luxury. 4 second round interviews hoping to hear back from this week, but nothing that really inspires behind the idea that I live to fight another day - bad location, bad money, not what I want to be doing, or all of the above. 

It's not that I want to kill myself or feel depressed enough to need to do it, but from a rational perspective I can't see how it's not the best option for everyone else if things don't improve. I'm insured for 7 figures, I've met my self-harm exclusion period, that's money that can put my grandfather in a home, pay off a mortgage, allow my wife to work less and spend time with our daughter, and probably an appropriate consequence for some really poor decisions and failures to provide properly, pride cometh before a fall and all that. 

As it stands, 10 weeks left at this current role before they fire me, 4 weeks termination money, about another 2 weeks worth of wages worth of stock options I can cash in once I'm no longer an employee,  and then a tax return of about 2 weeks too. That takes me to mid-August before things become dire. If I can't find a job to provide for my family in that period of time, I probably don't deserve to stick around realistically.

Bullshit to this not sticking around stuff. Your family needs YOU money is nice, but money is replaceable, you are not. Hell, this board needs you, the world needs you, we need more Zevon fans to spread the word! Stay strong, my brother; if there's anything that I've learned in my six decades wandering around this lump of dirt it's that no matter what circumstances are today they will change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, but they will change and it's a hell of an interesting ride to see where they go...

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On 3/26/2019 at 1:14 PM, Lamp, broken circa 1988 said:

a brief overview of the extremely good weekend that just passed

  • Still going through mental health stuff during all of this
  • Discovered that multiple members of my friend group were literal fascists, a bunch of drama ensued and now the group is divided forever
    • in the process of the above, got accused of being in a cult
  • While all that was exploding there was a death in the family of a friend's husband
  • this was all saturday
  • The next day, one of my friends workdays starts with watching a driver hop a median and clobber a roadworker at 40mph
  • Another friend's mother went missing and, after several phone calls, turns out she's in prison and she forgot to tell either of her children.
  • While being unable to sleep, I ended up rehashing what happened to yet another friend that came in late on the whole thing, and then to cool off after finding that out, checked the news and learned one of my favorite musicians and composers had passed away.

man, therapy this week is gonna be a blast. "So how've you been?" "SECRET NAZIS EVERYWHERE"

Take care of yourself, dude.

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Never catch any sort of disease from a small child.

My daughter's eight year old half brother accidentally sneezed in my face last Tuesday at my daughter's High School soccer game and despite my best hygienic effort, by Friday I could feel myself running down.

By Monday, both of my eyes were blood red and I had a wheezing cough.  Doctor confirmed that I had dual conjunctivitis and an upper respiratory infection.

I haven't fucking had Pinkeye since I was ten.

Anyway, I was put on three days medical house arrest (I only got meds for my eyes.  Doc wanted me to build an immunity to the crud I had, so no antibiotics) until I wasn't contagious anymore and I'm back in the office today.   I still have a nagging cough, but my eyes are back to normal. 

I have to keep using the eye meds for a few more days to make sure the infection is 100% gone.

My boo also had a head cold so she was out of the office until Tuesday.  We binged watched a bunch of stuff and we had a couple of nice intimate dinners over homemade chicken soup, garlic parmesan brioche biscuits, and herbal tea.

If we hadn't both been as sick as dogs, it might've been romantic.

Edited by J.T.
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Depression and grief. Your thoughts and feelings in mind. I love and miss my Mum daily. Special ocassions are hard for what they are and this is the fifth Mother's Day since losing Mum, she was only 53. Anyone I'm friends with on Facebook, please don't say anything about the depression there.

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30 minutes ago, The Natural said:

Depression and grief. Your thoughts and feelings in mind. I love and miss my Mum daily. Special ocassions are hard for what they are and this is the fifth Mother's Day since losing Mum, she was only 53. Anyone I'm friends with on Facebook, please don't say anything about the depression there.

We all love you, man.  You are the best dude.

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First and foremost, my thoughts are with everyone here. @RolandTHTG, like others have said, your wife and child need you. The money issues will get worked out. 

I have a job interview with the New Jersey Department of Transportation April 16th. I decided it's time to get out of the deathcare industry. The emotional toll it's taking on me is becoming harder and harder to deal with. I decided to try to also get into the pet market of the industry. It's not a good fit for me. Seeing primarily dead cats and dogs is way too much for me. Not to mention, the DOT position starts at a higher salary than what I'm presently making. 

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6 hours ago, The Natural said:

Depression and grief. Your thoughts and feelings in mind. I love and miss my Mum daily. Special ocassions are hard for what they are and this is the fifth Mother's Day since losing Mum, she was only 53. Anyone I'm friends with on Facebook, please don't say anything about the depression there.

Stay strong, mate. Anytime you need a friendly ear (virtual), PM me. I may not have any useful advice, but I am a reasonably good listener.

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4 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

First and foremost, my thoughts are with everyone here. @RolandTHTG, like others have said, your wife and child need you. The money issues will get worked out. 

I have a job interview with the New Jersey Department of Transportation April 16th. I decided it's time to get out of the deathcare industry. The emotional toll it's taking on me is becoming harder and harder to deal with. I decided to try to also get into the pet market of the industry. It's not a good fit for me. Seeing primarily dead cats and dogs is way too much for me. Not to mention, the DOT position starts at a higher salary than what I'm presently making. 

My friend, I can't tell you how happy I am to hear this news. The number of people I know in your line of work that are not alcoholic or so emotionally fucked up that they SHOULD drink I can count on one thumb. DOT may not be the most interesting or challenging work, but the bennies are great and you have a career for life. Good on ya, mate. Considering our shared past with addiction I've worried about your choice of work more than once over the years. I'm not the sort to tell someone that I think their career is an accident waiting to happen, because I don't know all the particulars of their financial obligations and what have you. But I sure as hell can rejoice when I hear that a friend is getting out of what has to be at the very best a slow soul-destroying cesspool of a career. You are (dare I say it?) too nice for that sort of work.

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On 3/28/2019 at 6:12 AM, J.T. said:

Never catch any sort of disease from a small child.

My daughter's eight year old half brother accidentally sneezed in my face last Tuesday at my daughter's High School soccer game and despite my best hygienic effort, by Friday I could feel myself running down.

By Monday, both of my eyes were blood red and I had a wheezing cough.  Doctor confirmed that I had dual conjunctivitis and an upper respiratory infection.

I haven't fucking had Pinkeye since I was ten.

Anyway, I was put on three days medical house arrest (I only got meds for my eyes.  Doc wanted me to build an immunity to the crud I had, so no antibiotics) until I wasn't contagious anymore and I'm back in the office today.   I still have a nagging cough, but my eyes are back to normal. 

I have to keep using the eye meds for a few more days to make sure the infection is 100% gone.

My boo also had a head cold so she was out of the office until Tuesday.  We binged watched a bunch of stuff and we had a couple of nice intimate dinners over homemade chicken soup, garlic parmesan brioche biscuits, and herbal tea.

If we hadn't both been as sick as dogs, it might've been romantic.

It's a fucking shame when you are too sick to have any fun with blood-red eyes, such a waste.

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So I got suspended from work for a week today. Not a April Fool's joke. When I got to the office this morning I noticed that my chair cushion looked strange. I heard stifled laughing at which point I put my hand over my eyes and said, "If my cushion has tacks in it, or glue on it, I'm going to fuck y'all up." Yes I know not professional. They did this tripe to someone else last year and it didn't go to well for them. But I got reported so I'm out till next Monday. Even though there was glue on my cushion. Plus side though. I'll get to catch up on a lot of wrestling I've missed. Negative... The in-laws are in town. Damn it all. Have I mentioned that April Fool's can go fuck itself?

 

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14 hours ago, Black Angel said:

So I got suspended from work for a week today. Not a April Fool's joke. When I got to the office this morning I noticed that my chair cushion looked strange. I heard stifled laughing at which point I put my hand over my eyes and said, "If my cushion has tacks in it, or glue on it, I'm going to fuck y'all up." Yes I know not professional. They did this tripe to someone else last year and it didn't go to well for them. But I got reported so I'm out till next Monday. Even though there was glue on my cushion. Plus side though. I'll get to catch up on a lot of wrestling I've missed. Negative... The in-laws are in town. Damn it all. Have I mentioned that April Fool's can go fuck itself?

 

I'd most likely lose my mind if a co-worker put glue on my chair and I sat in it, ruining my pants. What kind of company condones that? The whole thing wouldn't have happened if your co-workers weren't assholes, and they should have been suspended as well.

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie
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12 hours ago, Black Angel said:

So I got suspended from work for a week today. Not a April Fool's joke. When I got to the office this morning I noticed that my chair cushion looked strange. I heard stifled laughing at which point I put my hand over my eyes and said, "If my cushion has tacks in it, or glue on it, I'm going to fuck y'all up." Yes I know not professional. They did this tripe to someone else last year and it didn't go to well for them. But I got reported so I'm out till next Monday. Even though there was glue on my cushion. Plus side though. I'll get to catch up on a lot of wrestling I've missed. Negative... The in-laws are in town. Damn it all. Have I mentioned that April Fool's can go fuck itself?

So wait, they do the April Fools shit and you're the one that gets punished for it?  What kind of horseshit is that?  I don't know if you generally get along with them but they owe you big-time for that.

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I don't generally get along with them actually. It's mainly because every day after work they'll hit the bars and me and a few other co-workers don't really go out like that. If I drink I drink at house. But for whatever reason they take it hard. Not to mention the endless complaining about having to show up at 8 in the morning for work. Also they should know better than trying to play these jokes since the last time they played these types jokes two of them got their faces kicked in. 

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Sounds like a totally fucked-up place to work. I would give serious thought to dispensing a few head-kicks and resigning. No one needs to put up with assholes like that. 

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On 4/2/2019 at 6:42 AM, Black Angel said:

I don't generally get along with them actually. It's mainly because every day after work they'll hit the bars and me and a few other co-workers don't really go out like that. If I drink I drink at house. But for whatever reason they take it hard. Not to mention the endless complaining about having to show up at 8 in the morning for work. Also they should know better than trying to play these jokes since the last time they played these types jokes two of them got their faces kicked in. 

Hang on. AFD pranks resulted in a violent altercation and not only hasn't the company cracked down, but when another prank gets an angry verbal reaction, they suspend the person the prank was pulled on? What kind of morons run this company and how can I get hired there so I can cash in with an easy 6-figure lawsuit?

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19 hours ago, Black Angel said:

So I got suspended from work for a week today. Not a April Fool's joke. When I got to the office this morning I noticed that my chair cushion looked strange. I heard stifled laughing at which point I put my hand over my eyes and said, "If my cushion has tacks in it, or glue on it, I'm going to fuck y'all up." Yes I know not professional. They did this tripe to someone else last year and it didn't go to well for them. But I got reported so I'm out till next Monday. Even though there was glue on my cushion. Plus side though. I'll get to catch up on a lot of wrestling I've missed. Negative... The in-laws are in town. Damn it all. Have I mentioned that April Fool's can go fuck itself?

 

Someone else does stupid shit and you end up getting in trouble? Man, that's 31 flavors of fucked up. 

And yes, April Fool's Day blows.

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23 hours ago, Black Angel said:

So I got suspended from work for a week today. Not a April Fool's joke. When I got to the office this morning I noticed that my chair cushion looked strange. I heard stifled laughing at which point I put my hand over my eyes and said, "If my cushion has tacks in it, or glue on it, I'm going to fuck y'all up." Yes I know not professional. They did this tripe to someone else last year and it didn't go to well for them. But I got reported so I'm out till next Monday. Even though there was glue on my cushion. Plus side though. I'll get to catch up on a lot of wrestling I've missed. Negative... The in-laws are in town. Damn it all. Have I mentioned that April Fool's can go fuck itself?

 

I would have gone apeshit on whatever manager had to deliver the message. That's total horseshit.

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Thanks for the support guys. I actually didn't give it much thought or care yesterday but for some reason it bummed me out today. There is a update. I won't lose pay for this week...but I put my notice in today. There's no way I can continue to work there with those people and be civil. So at the end of the month I'll be out of there. Honestly this feels like a weight has been lifted. And at least I'll be graduating this summer so there's that to look forward to.

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9 hours ago, Black Angel said:

Thanks for the support guys. I actually didn't give it much thought or care yesterday but for some reason it bummed me out today. There is a update. I won't lose pay for this week...but I put my notice in today. There's no way I can continue to work there with those people and be civil. So at the end of the month I'll be out of there. Honestly this feels like a weight has been lifted. And at least I'll be graduating this summer so there's that to look forward to.

That's great, glad to see you're getting out of there.  Not sure if you'd care to do it but if it was me I'd give them hell on my way out.  And unless you want to use the manager as a reference he/she isn't blameless either.

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15 hours ago, Black Angel said:

Thanks for the support guys. I actually didn't give it much thought or care yesterday but for some reason it bummed me out today. There is a update. I won't lose pay for this week...but I put my notice in today. There's no way I can continue to work there with those people and be civil. So at the end of the month I'll be out of there. Honestly this feels like a weight has been lifted. And at least I'll be graduating this summer so there's that to look forward to.

Good for you.  I'm assuming you telling them you're going to fuck them up if it's a prank constituted a "threat of violence in the workplace," but that's some bullshit.  If joking/half serious threats aren't allowed, pranks definitely shouldn't be, either.  So dumb.  Good on you for moving on.

Also, please, everyone, I am your friend.  Remember one of your old buddy's cardinal rules.  Never ever ever trust HR.  Ever.  They are only there to protect the company from lawsuits.  They are not your advocate or your friend.  They are there to give you the illusion someone is on your side while making sure nothing that happens between employees can result in a lawsuit.  They will cover for the company and fuck you 10 times out of 10.  Never ever trust HR.  If you are positive you have a winnable case, lawyer up.  Otherwise, just get your resume in order and go. 

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