Jump to content
DVDVR Message Board
Gonzo

So, How's It Going?

Recommended Posts

15 hours ago, Brian Fowler said:

So a friend of mine from college works in an office 8 blocks away from where the attack in Nairobi, Kenya just happened. And apparently six months ago when his company was moving offices, they considered space right at the hotel that was attacked.

So I'm glad my friend and his family are safe, but... Jesus.

Damn. Glad your friend and his family are okay.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
37 minutes ago, Ramsey said:

My wife and I are separating after 25 years and I'm fucking lost. Lost....

Sorry to hear this, Ramsey. Best wishes at this difficult of times.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Ramsey said:

My wife and I are separating after 25 years and I'm fucking lost. Lost....

Shit, man, sorry to read that.  Hoping things work out for you but that really sucks.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/16/2019 at 10:20 AM, Ramsey said:

My wife and I are separating after 25 years and I'm fucking lost. Lost....

Damn, brother... I hope that you can sort things out, 25 years is a long time to invest. Kathy and I seperated for a couple of weeks after her daughter (my step-daughter) died, (piling more pain on top of the pain) and it wasn't very pleasant. We still can't listen to Motley Crue, (she drank her herself to death after a Crue concert, making February our least favorite month... My best friend died of a sudden heart attack on Valentine's Day, some ten years ago which just adds to it... Hope you get through this okay. (1. hope you two work it out. (2. if it's gone past that, remember that for every door that closes, another one opens.)

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎1‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 12:20 PM, Ramsey said:

My wife and I are separating after 25 years and I'm fucking lost. Lost....

I've been where you are, my brother, and I am here to say that you will not only survive, you'll get your life back together.  It will take some work, but you will persevere and thrive.  You may even find love again, believe it or not.

There will be days when you get angry for no apparent reason.  There will be days when you will be sad for no apparent reason.  

All of that is normal and you are not some mutant for feeling the way you feel.  The best advice I can give you is to find not so self destructive ways to channel your feelings.  Find a hobby, travel, make new friends, do something you didn't think you had the time to do when you were married.

Do NOT use your new found free time (and there will be oodles) to drink your sorrows away or pick fights or do anything stupid.

The weird thing is that as time goes by and if you two can't work things out, you will eventually get over your feelings for your spouse but you will find your self strangely missing your role as a husband and it will be up to you to decide how to best fill this void.

Both of you already know whether or not this relationship is really over.  You've probably known it for quite some time.  If you're both not sure, then see if you can reconcile.  Give each other some space and some time to miss each other and process your hurt.  Who knows?  You both may re-discover what attracted you to the other person in the first place.

If you're both done, then admit to yourselves and to each other that you are done.  Don't tease one another with hopes of mending fences when you know in your hearts and minds that the relationship is broken beyond fixing.

I will pray for you, Ramsey.  I hope that you will find the courage to move on with your life in a positive manner no matter what happens in this situation between you and your wife.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you very much for that man. I needed all of that today.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nothing like getting off from a long day of work only to walk out to the parking lot and discover some piece of shit broke into your truck, all so they could steal 3 bucks in loose change and an old coat I was gonna give to Goodwill anyway. 

  • Sad 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎1‎/‎18‎/‎2019 at 2:08 PM, Ramsey said:

Thank you very much for that man. I needed all of that today.

Anytime.  And on the practical tip, you need to prep for the divorce now even if it doesn't happen.

One thing I have found is that the courts are not terribly compassionate to husbands and fathers when it comes to divorce.  

if your spouse just wants closure and separation, try to find a mediator who will help the both of you come to terms with a marital asset division that both of you can agree to without one of you getting sent to the poor house.

If the shit gets ugly, find a family law attorney that specializes in representing men in divorce proceedings.  You may end up being an emotional amoeba while trying to deal with all of this, so you need to find an advocate that will represent your best interests in a court of law.  

Hopefully it won't come to that, though.  It's within your power as a couple to salvage your relationship if you both want it badly enough.  Like I said before, the two of you already know which way you want this to go, so be honest with yourselves and each other.  If you're done, just say that you're done.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎1‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 1:48 AM, BrianS81177 said:

Nothing like getting off from a long day of work only to walk out to the parking lot and discover some piece of shit broke into your truck, all so they could steal 3 bucks in loose change and an old coat I was gonna give to Goodwill anyway. 

That sucks. :(

I am sorta hoping that the dude who broke into your truck didn't do so out of desperation. 

It still doesn't excuse what the thief did, but given what the weather was last night at my crib, I can understand why a guy would smash in a car window to get to a couple of bucks and a warm coat.

I still remember a horror story on the news when I lived in Michigan about a homeless man dying because a water main broke near his tent and it was so cold that he was frozen in a shroud of ice as the water washed his tent a way.  I cannot imagine of ways to go that are much worse than that.

Winter has never been my favorite season and even more so after hearing stories like that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's been a month since I've been to work now. I know I am probably not the only person here in that position--or if I am, it's only because other feds on here are working with deferred pay.  I am incredibly privileged, in that my family can afford to lend me enough money to cover bills and groceries until this stupid bullshit ends.  I'm trying really hard to keep that privilege, and the fact that I have friends who DON'T live alone and DON'T have a dad with enough of a cushion to make that sacrifice, centered in my mind so that I don't go into full woe-is-me mode.  I'm shocked at how hard it is to find volunteer opportunities compatible with my disability.  I'm shocked at how bored I can get with video games and anime.  I never thought I'd actually envy the people working for deferred pay because fuck, at least they have someone forcing them to leave the house and interact with other humans daily.  This sucks so much and I just want to go back to my fucking job and complain about less-talented people getting promoted because of seniority and how the taxpayers who call in all think they've got a Special Case that's different from every other person who owed four grand three years in a row.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear celiac disease. Please feel free to get fucked

i cannot think of anything more repulsive than gluten free beer

  • Sad 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I saw someone today at work with an "NWO 4LYF" vanity tag.

I mean, I guess they're holding true to it...but, really??  C'mon, man.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino. I haven’t been here in several years. Back when I went it was the first, and only time I’ve been to a casino. I came away feeling it was exactly how I expected it to be from watching years of movies featuring Vegas-style casinos. Walking into it tonight has felt like my dream of the old video game arcade returning, but this was the real deal, and I can’t handle how much of a Wall-E style nightmare it is.

There is a smoke filled haze that has started to give me a headache. 7 out of 10 people look like The Miz’s dad. There is a non-smoking room that is filled with what appears to be old slot machines. There are what looks to be 3 roulette tables, and they are all electronic. Cocktail waitresses in revealing outfits walk around, and serve the zombie patrons. 

I’m desperate to find a quick bite to eat, and so I walk to the central bar in the place. No food service whatsoever. Instead the bar has even more electronic slot machines. 

I can’t stand being here anymore, as it’s quite sad seeing people gamble whatever they have left in this shithole(Although it does look nice inside).

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How's it going?

I wish I could say it was better.

Take that back. Being bad would at least mean something. This is nothing. And nothing is the worst thing of all.

  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Slipped on some ice and fucked my wrist up. And my shoulder, hand and hip, but the wrist hurts the most. Luckily unbreakable bones run in the family.

Still, it last snowed on Tuesday. Why is it still here? Fucking melt you icy bastards.

  • Sad 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear that. I slipped on ice last winter. I only hurt my knee a little, but it was kind of annoying for it to have happened right after I was finally feeling better in my other knee which I slipped onto into the garage the previous month. I am so damn happy we didn't have ice this year. That shit feels unnatural here anyways.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Burgundy LaRue said:

How's it going?

I wish I could say it was better.

Take that back. Being bad would at least mean something. This is nothing. And nothing is the worst thing of all.

Sending my love; I've been in that hole before and I know how gutting it is.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎2‎/‎3‎/‎2019 at 9:56 PM, Cliff Hanger said:

Sending my love; I've been in that hole before and I know how gutting it is.

Thank you. I try not to complain because I know a lot of this is due to inactivity and honestly, no one comes here to see me gripe about life. But I find myself increasingly agitated, which isn't my MO. I flare up quickly, but cool down just as fast. These days, though? I stay irritated to the point of real anger. Not good at all.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/3/2019 at 10:46 PM, Burgundy LaRue said:

How's it going?

I wish I could say it was better.

Take that back. Being bad would at least mean something. This is nothing. And nothing is the worst thing of all.

Hope things improve xxx

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/4/2019 at 12:20 AM, AxB said:

Slipped on some ice and fucked my wrist up. And my shoulder, hand and hip, but the wrist hurts the most. Luckily unbreakable bones run in the family.

Still, it last snowed on Tuesday. Why is it still here? Fucking melt you icy bastards.

Sorry to hear that. I fell the other day, not fallen like that in a while. Doesn't help the CP.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The wrist feels a lot better now. I've got the full range of motion back but it still hurts a bit at ranges, and lifting heavy things is still out. But it's only been a couple of days, so I reckon it'll be fine soon.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/29/2019 at 8:42 PM, Robert C said:

Dear celiac disease. Please feel free to get fucked

i cannot think of anything more repulsive than gluten free beer

Not celiac, just wanting to sample the offerings...I've tried New Belgium's Glutiny and two of Omissions's beers (I forget which two).  They're not too bad, but I get where you're coming from.  Not a lot of selection out there. 

On the "how's it going" front, I did my taxes and I'm pretty pissed that a Republican tax act passed in 2017 made my refund drop by a few thousand.  Aside from that, I can't complain.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 hours ago, Burgundy LaRue said:

Thank you. I try not to complain because I know a lot of this is due to inactivity and honestly, no one comes here to see me gripe about life. But I find myself increasingly agitated, which isn't my MO. I flare up quickly, but cool down just as fast. These days, though? I stay irritated to the point of real anger. Not good at all.

Lots of great things get done because of anger, (of course, that means that one has to do something about that which is making them angry as opposed to just stewing about it), but I'm sure you catch my drift. If it's of any help at all, the bit about accepting the things that one cannot change and having the courage to change the things that one can has always been helpful when tempered with the common sense to know which is which. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am reading a great book right now called The Practicing Stoic: A Philosophical User’s Manual by Ward Farnswoth that I highly recommend. As someone who has also sometimes had a quick temper and struggled with quietly letting external stuff effect your mood, it has helped me see things differently. 

Of course, I also got a yellow card (indoor season and you go to the box for two minutes) for knocking someone over last night ‘cause they stood directly in front of the free kick after they handled from my shot. They also made a meal of me knocking them down. I count it as a victory, though, that I didn’t get a red after 3 instances of cheating by that guy in a span of a minute. 

I don’t know if it qualifies as Stoicism, but I then logically decided to foul the fuck out of their best player after that all game long as I knew if I targeted the original cheater it would have got me a red.  All in all it felt like a good night as I got a goal and also got their best player to have a yellow card when they retaliated against me after one of my meaty challenges. Soccer equivalent of the Gordie Howe hat trick I guess. 

It’s a process guys. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, The Magnificent 7 said:

I am reading a great book right now called The Practicing Stoic: A Philosophical User’s Manual by Ward Farnswoth that I highly recommend. As someone who has also sometimes had a quick temper and struggled with quietly letting external stuff effect your mood, it has helped me see things differently. 

I love you like family, Mag, but one thing I have learned over the years is that you are EXTREMELY passionate about your cinema and to respectfully agree to disagree if we are knotted up on some point of debate about a movie we've both seen :).

I respect how you feel because if you don't stand for something, you'll accept anything.

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...