So, How's It Going?

[Ryan]

I imagine he has more of a Yooper accent.

[Brian Fowler]

Very important update: the cat eventually forgave him.

[Ryan]

The cat's probably licking his wounds.

[Kuetsar]

Finished my summer semester at ISU a few days ago, and now I have about a week and a half until fall starts.  I pulled out an A- in my Research and Writing class, even though it was a fucking bear. Anyone ever wrote a Literature Review before? Not fun. I got by only B of the program so far(and a B- at that) because I forgot the final deadline of my technology class. 3.67 GPA so far, cumulative and half way to my Masters of Teaching degree. . . .

[Nice Guy Eddie]

6 minutes ago, Kuetsar said:

Finished my summer semester at ISU a few days ago, and now I have about a week and a half until fall starts.  I pulled out an A- in my Research and Writing class, even though it was a fucking bear. Anyone ever wrote a Literature Review before? Not fun. I got by only B of the program so far(and a B- at that) because I forgot the final deadline of my technology class. 3.67 GPA so far, cumulative and half way to my Masters of Teaching degree. . . .

Congratulations.

I posted this on FB, so a few of you have seen it, but I'm about as happy with my life as I've been in a really, really long time. I don't remember the last time I've felt this way. I've done a complete 180 from how I was feeling. The good people do eventually win, but sometimes it takes a hell of a long time.

Edited August 8, 2019 by Nice Guy Eddie

[Epic Rickey]

When you know someone is suicidal, talk to them as much as you can. Not even about suicide, make them feel valued and loved. Make sure they know there is no shame in asking for help.

Don't make them feel guilty for being depressed or "negative". 

Now there are no gurrantees unfortunately, but I feel being there helps.

[OSJ]

15 hours ago, Epic Rickey said:

When you know someone is suicidal, talk to them as much as you can. Not even about suicide, make them feel valued and loved. Make sure they know there is no shame in asking for help.

Don't make them feel guilty for being depressed or "negative". 

Now there are no gurrantees unfortunately, but I feel being there helps.

Well said, even better is to ask them for help!  Nothing gets you out of the morass of self-pity and depression like helping someone else out. 

Earlier today I was at the lowest low that I've been at in years, here are the details , more or less. I'm working on an afterword for a career retrospective of Jack Dann's fiction. To  say that it is an honor and a privilege would be an understatement, with Harlan Ellison gone, Jack's been the guy that I look to as a mentor and writing the afterword to his book is a huge honor. Like myself, in addition to putting anthologies together and writing fiction, he also writes scores of essays, so I dialed up the Internet Speculative Database just to see if he'd published anything recently that I was unaware of. Imagine my shock to see that not only had he published a new essay, but that it was about R. A. Lafferty in a fantastic new book entitled  The Best of R.A. Lafferty  some of you may recall that four years I was given the assignment  of my career, assemble a 8-10 volume set of the complete stories of R.A. Lafferty. So when it comes to this author, not to put too fine point on it, I'm sort of one of the leading experts in the world and I hadn't been invited to participate. What's more is that the editor is someone I like and respect totally and consider him a true peer in our field.

To say that this exclusion hurt quite a bit a bit would be an understatement, imagine a Beatles documentary with Sir Paul McCartney not asked for his input, that's what this felt like; I couldn't imagine this editor passing me up by accident which made it all the worse. I e-mailed Jack ans asked for his input as we're all mutual friends; he  reaffirmed my opinions of Jon as being a totally straight shooter who would never intentionally snub me. This made me feel a bit better, so I wrote a polite note to the editor and was gratified to receive a  very apologetic response and it seems that he was given about one-third  of the time that one traditionally needs to do a quality project like this. While I still feel bad about not being in the        book , some good stuff may yet come of it as I shared with both Jon and Jack that my bucket list is fairly complete except for co-editing an anthology with either/both of them; something that at least is on the table now. So just a crazy day, but all okay now .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

[PB-13]

EDIT: Never mind. I never should have come back here.

Edited August 13, 2019 by PB-13

[Robert C]

We've got a family funeral in El Paso this weekend.  My four year old is all freaked out about going, since the only thing he's ever heard about the place is the shootings.  Meanwhile, I don't want to go.  Partly because of that.  Partly because the deceased is my wife's uncle, who was a lying, thieving piece of shit.  And partly because I don't want to deal with his piece of shit kids.  One of them will is almost certainly running a major prescription drug ring.  I had to stand in as a pallbearer during the last funeral there because another one of this fucker's kids was on the run from the police over his involvement in a gang related shooting.  The rest of em aren't really any better.  I'd put the chances of one of em asking to "borrow" money at about 80%, and the chance of me telling him to get fucked at 100%.

[Ryan]

Wow, talk about going out of a sense of obligation, I don't envy your predicament and wish you the best.

[Matt D]

2 hours ago, Robert C said:

We've got a family funeral in El Paso this weekend.  My four year old is all freaked out about going, since the only thing he's ever heard about the place is the shootings.  Meanwhile, I don't want to go.  Partly because of that.  Partly because the deceased is my wife's uncle, who was a lying, thieving piece of shit.  And partly because I don't want to deal with his piece of shit kids.  One of them will is almost certainly running a major prescription drug ring.  I had to stand in as a pallbearer during the last funeral there because another one of this fucker's kids was on the run from the police over his involvement in a gang related shooting.  The rest of em aren't really any better.  I'd put the chances of one of em asking to "borrow" money at about 80%, and the chance of me telling him to get fucked at 100%.

This doesn't help, but I promise you, in that exact situation, there's no fucking way in hell we'd go. And you have our full support here at DVDVR, Inc., if you decide it's best for your family not to.

[J.T.]

11 hours ago, Robert C said:

We've got a family funeral in El Paso this weekend.  My four year old is all freaked out about going, since the only thing he's ever heard about the place is the shootings.  Meanwhile, I don't want to go.  Partly because of that.  Partly because the deceased is my wife's uncle, who was a lying, thieving piece of shit.  And partly because I don't want to deal with his piece of shit kids.  One of them will is almost certainly running a major prescription drug ring.  I had to stand in as a pallbearer during the last funeral there because another one of this fucker's kids was on the run from the police over his involvement in a gang related shooting.  The rest of em aren't really any better.  I'd put the chances of one of em asking to "borrow" money at about 80%, and the chance of me telling him to get fucked at 100%.

We will all get together and play Borderlands 3 and work this shit out, Rob.

[The Natural]

11 hours ago, Robert C said:

We've got a family funeral in El Paso this weekend.  My four year old is all freaked out about going, since the only thing he's ever heard about the place is the shootings.  Meanwhile, I don't want to go.  Partly because of that.  Partly because the deceased is my wife's uncle, who was a lying, thieving piece of shit.  And partly because I don't want to deal with his piece of shit kids.  One of them will is almost certainly running a major prescription drug ring.  I had to stand in as a pallbearer during the last funeral there because another one of this fucker's kids was on the run from the police over his involvement in a gang related shooting.  The rest of em aren't really any better.  I'd put the chances of one of em asking to "borrow" money at about 80%, and the chance of me telling him to get fucked at 100%.

That's such a shitty situation to find yourself in. I wouldn't want to go either. Best wishes.

[Robert C]

Thanks y'all. 

Looks like we're not going, which is probably good.  My wife made the decision on her own, since it's her family  She's well aware of what she's got for a family on that side, but she wanted to see them for what would probably be the last time anyway.  Ultimately the logistics didn't work, and she would've had to miss out on things here in Austin that she didn't want to give up.

[OSJ]

Good deal. man. I severed ties with my family eons ago. Didn't speak with my mom the five or six years of her life that's the way she wanted it, so be it. Read the will and all the amendments in my sister's handwriting cutting me out of the house in Seattle and changing the inheritance from $17K to $1K; like I'm going to get real excited about $17,000.00 when  the best part was the realization that I never have to interact with either of those horrible unpleasant women again.

Now that we're on the sobject of horrible, unpleasant women, and in this case it isn't her fault, there's a short circuit in the writing if'n you know what I mean, the elevator doesn't go to the top floor, the baker's dozen is more like the muffin man's malfeasance , seems the get-together is a couple of hot-dogs short of a picnic, you guys get the idea. My neighbor has been  refusing her meds since I last commented on the festivities last month when she announced "I used to be somebody else, now I''m a giraffe!" This is the woman who did 13 years on a life sentence for chopping her hubby's head off with an axe. Anyway, her SO  warned that this would be the time, but apparently Linda meant it this time as she brought the keys over to the motel that our landlords, George & Mae also own, whereupon Mae called us to ask what was going on and I was just on the verge of telling her, "She's your tenant, why don't you ask her?" When Linda showed up at our door visibly shaken ans just repeating, "I can't do this!!"  Look, Linda is career Marine Corp. and one of the toughest people I know, riding it out through all that "don't ask, don't tell" bullshit from a few years back. For her to be visibly shaken about anything  is concerning. Apparently on the 1st, MaryAnne decided it would be  a wise investment to make extra keys  for the apartment to pass them out among all the new friends  she's been making at Sammy C's and The Dead Man's Bar (Hey, wrestling reference! What do I win?

Apparently, Linda stayed with friends last night and that's when the shit hit the fan, or rather it would have had there been for there a fan to hit. You see, MaryAnne's been doing such a fine job of passing housekeys out that she even gave away her own set! and locked herself out. I can't imagine how thrilled George is going  to be with the idea that every barfly in Gallup has a  key to his apartment, sadly he only has to change one lock. But on to the rest of the story as Paul Harvey were wont to say when I was a wee lad. Apparently MaytAnne  had to go number TWO rather badly and commenced to do so rather badly at that.  I was wondering what the gent in the front house was doing arguing with his wife proclaiming loudly "I WILL SO KNOCK on their door (He'll do nothing of the kind, he's a big fat bastard who wears a MAGA hat, Linda would eat him for breakfast.) I made it a point of taking my morning walk early just so I could observe, "Someone have an accident? That's some devilshly-smelling shit at that! Like somone had a cross all the way up their  poopshoot."

"Hey, I don't like that kind of talk!"

"Me either, I'm just repeating what the Pastor told me.. You know why they make the  crosses  with a rectangular post instead of a rounded one. So it will hurt the perves more when they shove 'em up their butts. Now ain't that a heck of a thing when a church has to think of stuff like that just so the perves don't have a field day Well, smell  ya later!:"  I am so glad to be moving... Our neighbors on either side were practically in tears and they fessed up to feeding the cats from time to time in the morning. I said, "They have dry food 24/7, what do they get from you guys?" Oh, we'''ll put a couple of cans out every day before we go to work at 7AM, cause we know that you guys don't get up until 8 or 9." 

"No reason to; the cats have trained a local human to feed them promptly before  7AM."  Oh, the expression...

[Gonzo]

I had no idea that the headquarters for Los Ingobernables DVDVR was located in Amityville.

[Nice Guy Eddie]

3 hours ago, Gonzo said:

I had no idea that the headquarters for Los Ingobernables DVDVR was located in Amityville.

You learn something new everyday.

[Marty Sugar]

So I've been working at the same bar for over six years: first as a bouncer and lately transitioning to server. As a server, I've had the issue with several longtime shitty regulars taking a run at me because "I'm not the bouncer," which has lead to some stressful situations. Twice now I have had customers attempting to fight me that are friends with one of my two owners, and said owner has demanded I be punished for mistreating his friends. The first time, he verbally abused me via text message and in person, to the point of outright workplace bullying...in the hopes that I would get mad so he could fire me. Delightful.

He's blatantly ignored the fact that both times his employee (me) has been thrust into dangerous situations caused by his friends, that have left other customers in a state of duress and have left them concerned for my safety...as I've continued serving them, while dealing with these ridiculous situations. Not to mention the stress it has put me under, as I've been "under the microscope" with everything I do since February, when this first incident happened: a guy's drunk wife was harassing me, long after close, and the couple wouldn't leave. I told the wife to finish her drink and stop embarrassing herself so I could go home after a 12-hour shift...and the husband (who is nearly a foot taller than me), barges over and asks if I wanted to fight right there. But I was the unreasonable one.

I've been told "one more mistake" and I'm fired (despite only ever having been written up ONCE in six years), and an incident on Tuesday was the second and apparently final straw for my owner: he demanded the GM fire me today. To his credit, the GM (a friend of mine for longer than the time I've officially been employed there), went to bat for me and refused to fire me...but now the owner has essentially said that if I make one more "mistake" (because defending yourself as a bouncer/bartender from unruly drunks is somehow the sober guy's fault), the GM might get the axe, too. SIX YEARS I have been busting my ass at this little dive bar, dealing with all matter of dangerous and stressful bullshit, and it was supposed to end at 3am today when my shift was over.

Here's the best part, the second and "final" straw was one of the owner's friends getting mad that I wouldn't make impossible food substitutions (as per the owner's rules), and he tried to fight me. OVER HAVING TO ORDER THREE TACOS INSTEAD OF ONE. As you might imagine, I refused to sign the second write-up waiting for me in the office after work, and demanded my GM tell the owner to severance me out for six years of service. Also emailed three local labour lawyers for advice on said severance, as the provinces of B.C. (me) and Ontario have different/better rules than the rest of Canada.

Fingers crossed.

[The Natural]

I'll cross those fingers while typing this, @Marty Sugar. Good luck.

[The Natural]

Today was the last time I'll see my doctor as she's leaving. I've gone to talk to her before losing my Mum and every month since so just over five years. This doctor's seen me like few people ever have: crying, the self-harm scars and informing her about suicidal thoughts. Surreal seeing her today.

[The Natural]

On 8/12/2019 at 3:04 PM, PB-13 said:

EDIT: Never mind. I never should have come back here.

Hope you're okay.

[Mike Campbell]

The wife and I are fighting with her father over our car situaton, which is at least  partically his fault (although I'm smart enough to keep that deduction to myself). Last year at Christmas time, he decided that we needed to cut down our own trees instead of buying one from the lot. We all spend way too much time driving in the middle of nowhere. We hit a bump and our radio shorts out.  After getting a new car, he tells her to bring the older one over so he can fix the short.  He wound up frying the whole wiring harness so the thing won't even start up now.

 

Our insurance advised us that this isn't being covered, so we're looking at a couple of grand to get this this resolved. When we refused to take out ridiculously huge loans, or just push off a few bills for a few months, he started yelling at her that she needs to figure something out instead of "just give up."  I told her to suggest that he (he's the captain at the local detention center) start shaking down inmates and take up a collection for us.  If nothing else, we'll just get it towed back to the house and let it sit in our driveway for a few months until we get our tax refund and have the spare cash on hand to get it fixed.  We were a one-car family for years on end, so this isn't a new concept for us.  But yeah, all this horseshit because he decided that we all needed to go to the fucking woods and cut down trees for christmas!

[OSJ]

On 8/16/2019 at 6:14 AM, Mike Campbell said:

The wife and I are fighting with her father over our car situaton, which is at least  partically his fault (although I'm smart enough to keep that deduction to myself). Last year at Christmas time, he decided that we needed to cut down our own trees instead of buying one from the lot. We all spend way too much time driving in the middle of nowhere. We hit a bump and our radio shorts out.  After getting a new car, he tells her to bring the older one over so he can fix the short.  He wound up frying the whole wiring harness so the thing won't even start up now.

 

Our insurance advised us that this isn't being covered, so we're looking at a couple of grand to get this this resolved. When we refused to take out ridiculously huge loans, or just push off a few bills for a few months, he started yelling at her that she needs to figure something out instead of "just give up."  I told her to suggest that he (he's the captain at the local detention center) start shaking down inmates and take up a collection for us.  If nothing else, we'll just get it towed back to the house and let it sit in our driveway for a few months until we get our tax refund and have the spare cash on hand to get it fixed.  We were a one-car family for years on end, so this isn't a new concept for us.  But yeah, all this horseshit because he decided that we all needed to go to the fucking woods and cut down trees for christmas!

I am so glad that we don't really do Christmas. I've never approved of the idea of chopping down a perfectly good tree just for the cats to have something to dive into and raise hell at odd hours of the morning. 

[PB-13]

On 8/16/2019 at 6:52 AM, The Natural said:

Hope you're okay.

Been better, but my mental state is an eternal roller coaster ride. Just the nature of the beast in my head, you know? Promised myself I would keep the wrestling posting to an absolute minimum because, quite bluntly, I can be really stubborn.

[The Natural]

On 8/18/2019 at 10:15 PM, PB-13 said:

Been better, but my mental state is an eternal roller coaster ride. Just the nature of the beast in my head, you know? Promised myself I would keep the wrestling posting to an absolute minimum because, quite bluntly, I can be really stubborn.

I can relate to that. Best wishes.