So, How's It Going?

[J.T.]

I love all of y'all so everyone needs to collectively figure this shit out.

[Guest Stefanie Without Stefanie]

4 hours ago, NikoBaltimore said:

I'm appreciating this sort of Town Hall that's going on.

As for me, despite what I try and think otherwise I don't know.

I don't know a thing about what it's like for another gender, race, religious belief or sexual orientation.

I don't know if the person I'm disagreeing with online is a straight up asshole or is going through bad times and has shit to deal with.

And I surely don't know as much on various subjects as I would like to know.

So with all that said it does suck when I misinterpret what somebody says and inadvertently either say something that doesn't help or makes things worse.  Especially if it's seen as me invalidating what somebody says.  Much like this post I try my best to not sound like a clueless idiot.  If I had a way to tell those that put me on ignore I'm sorry I would sure love to try that.

And with all THAT said while I'll never truly know about what I stated above I'll always do my best to get a better understanding.  Even with things like politics where I would vehemently disagree with an opinion I'm at least trying to not be ignorant of why somebody would feel that way.  But the wrestling forum can be a toxic place and I do wish that others would do the same.  But in the end I can only control me.

That's the importance of listening to others not like ourselves. You may never know my experience because you've never lived it, but by reading what I say and taking it to heart, you may have a better understanding of what I experience. Frankly, that's why I've been more open about my experiences being transgender. There are times when I've posted to clarify matters of trans terminology or experiences, and I've been like "ehhh do I really want to post this", but whenever I do it's because I'd rather y'all hear directly from trans folks on those matters instead of relying on googling the topic or doing your own research.

[NikoBaltimore]

31 minutes ago, Stefanie the Human said:

That's the importance of listening to others not like ourselves. You may never know my experience because you've never lived it, but by reading what I say and taking it to heart, you may have a better understanding of what I experience. Frankly, that's why I've been more open about my experiences being transgender. There are times when I've posted to clarify matters of trans terminology or experiences, and I've been like "ehhh do I really want to post this", but whenever I do it's because I'd rather y'all hear directly from trans folks on those matters instead of relying on googling the topic or doing your own research.

FWIW I appreciate that a ton. I always like when you and @Bustronautpost on this as it helps me gain a lot of perspective. I wish you two all the best. 

[Nice Guy Eddie]

I just wanted to pop my head in and let everyone know you're in my thoughts and prayers. I consider this board a lot of friends I just haven't met yet. I met Rev. Ray once at an nxt Asbury Park house show. I haven't been around much because I started my new job yesterday. It's amazing how much has changed since that night in late June where I was at the lowest I've been in a long, long time. Thank you for everyone that was there for me with kind words when I needed it, and I'm here for all of you as well.

I got really lucky finding the job I have now. I'm dispatching for a courier service that delivers medications out of state and overseas for people who require home delivery. It's mostly cancer medications. Money isn't only the thing, but it's nice to be making more than I was as a funeral director. It seems like a really good group of people I'm working with, which is great considering how toxic of an environment the last funeral home I was at was. I wish everyone the best and will still be here when I can be.

Edited July 24, 2019 by Nice Guy Eddie

[Infinit]

Congrats on the new job @Nice Guy Eddie! 

Sometimes, I read some of the stuff on the board and think to myself "wow, some of these peeps are way up in their feelings, this is just a message board". And now I feel kinda shitty thinking that. Thank you all for helping me get a little perspective. This is a great little community that we have here...and it should be an escape from whatever our real lives are. 

 

[Nice Guy Eddie]

7 minutes ago, Infinit said:

Congrats on the new job @Nice Guy Eddie! 

Sometimes, I read some of the stuff on the board and think to myself "wow, some of these peeps are way up in their feelings, this is just a message board". And now I feel kinda shitty thinking that. Thank you all for helping me get a little perspective. This is a great little community that we have here...and it should be an escape from whatever our real lives are. 

 

I wouldn't say you should feel shitty. Your feelings are your feelings. Everyone is going to feel differently. I look at this thread almost like writing in a journal. 

[OSJ]

39 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I wouldn't say you should feel shitty. Your feelings are your feelings. Everyone is going to feel differently. I look at this thread almost like writing in a journal. 

BTW: Congrats on the new gig! Sounds far more rewarding and interesting than the DOT job that we chatted about. Good on ya, bro!

[Nice Guy Eddie]

2 minutes ago, OSJ said:

BTW: Congrats on the new gig! Sounds far more rewarding and interesting than the DOT job that we chatted about. Good on ya, bro!

To quote Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell, "Something's gotta turn out right".

[OSJ]

4 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

To quote Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell, "Something's gotta turn out right".

"Sometimes the good guys win!"

[OSJ]

1 hour ago, Infinit said:

Congrats on the new job @Nice Guy Eddie! 

Sometimes, I read some of the stuff on the board and think to myself "wow, some of these peeps are way up in their feelings, this is just a message board". And now I feel kinda shitty thinking that. Thank you all for helping me get a little perspective. This is a great little community that we have here...and it should be an escape from whatever our real lives are. 

 

How you feel is how you feel. I do know that I've done a bit of reflecting based on this discussion, I'll admit that in the past I've amused myself by subtly goading jagoffs like FSW and Thibs into a fury so that they would wind up getting banned. I have to be better than that, I have to be. I'm probably the oldest regular poster here and I should set an example of what to be, not skate the edges of what I know I can get away with.  Lesson learned.

[Epic Rickey]

I will try not to be too long winded or coy, I am Victator. 

 

Reading other people's stories relate to my own experiences. In the last two years I was consistently bullied and dogpiled by people here. 

I was definitely in the wrong at times and I admit it.  But nobody else will.

It got to a point I could say the earth circles the sun and Craig or Technico would accuse me of heresy and killing puppies. 

It turned out beyond Matt, I have zero friends here. I don't care if its my fault. I know I have lived within my code and tried to do right. If I got banned with Craig, I would not be as mad. But instead I get banned with Jae making no attempt to contact me with a heads up. It was clearly personal.

 

Smelly McUgly, or whatever name he desperately hides behind, attacks my family and calls me a "RACIST ANIMAL!!" in PM and he gets suspended for a week. I would have been banned.  Now in fairness to SMU, I did start it. But I also tried to apologize and he attacked my family.

 

Someone else wanted my family to die in a fire, but I'm the bad guy.

I could not get anyone related to this site to contact me. That is very dehumanizing. Treating me as if I am a nothing. I am not sure why this gets under my skin, my real life is filled with serious problems.

Have I personally wronged Craig or Jae or even Zeidler? Craig is a two faced bum, I have accepted that. But I know I was a good friend to Zeidler.

Maybe because this showed me I am as alone in my virtual life, as I am in my real one. A very dehumanizing experience, I know I did not deserve.

Just wanted to say my piece since apparently it isn't just me.

 

I truly hope you all find happiness. Victor

[OSJ]

Vic:

I don't think that I have ever been less than open-handed and honest with you whether you liked it or not. I posted earlier that the one thing I've learned in 62 years is you can be right (which feels good for a minute) or you can be kind, which is forever.  You always have that choice before you post something, consider that the person you are responding to may feel as isolated as you apparently do now and act accordingly. We talked quite a bit about your comic/writing project and when you asked for my serious opinion you got it, again, whether you liked my conclusions or not, you got an honest opinion which you solicited.  I hope you find enjoyment and success in whatever you're working on now. 

[John from Cincinnati]

I can’t imagine being so worked up by any of you that I’d wish harm on your family. I hope whoever did that knows enough to feel shitty about it. 

I miss your posts, Vic. I don’t have contact with anyone beyond the board. Hope you feel better. As Matt said, don’t let a dude named Smelly McUgly ruin your day. 

[Epic Rickey]

56 minutes ago, OSJ said:

Vic:

I don't think that I have ever been less than open-handed and honest with you whether you liked it or not. I posted earlier that the one thing I've learned in 62 years is you can be right (which feels good for a minute) or you can be kind, which is forever.  You always have that choice before you post something, consider that the person you are responding to may feel as isolated as you apparently do now and act accordingly. We talked quite a bit about your comic/writing project and when you asked for my serious opinion you got it, again, whether you liked my conclusions or not, you got an honest opinion which you solicited.  I hope you find enjoyment and success in whatever you're working on now. 

You were a huge help in making it look professional and I used all of your advice. I'm sorry if I forgot to thank you at the time. I was nearly homeless and had started college. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[Technico Support]

 

11 hours ago, Epic Rickey said:

It got to a point I could say the earth circles the sun and Craig or Technico would accuse me of heresy and killing puppies. 

Shit, Vic, I didn't want an argument about Jim Cornette or Joey Ryan's dick to turn into you thinking I think you're an asshole or something and I definitely didn't like you getting banned over it.  I'm sorry for keeping it going and I'm trying to keep in mind that disagreements don't mean your own opinion is invalid.  Some people just like different things.  Hell, AxB and I just had a low key and quite gentlemanly argument over Cody that I'm quite proud of. 

I try my hardest to not shit on anyone here or make their day worse because you truly never know what other shit someone has going on and what you may do to inadvertently add to that through a cross word.  I really try to go by "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about."  I don't always succeed and I'm sorry if  I was overly shitty to you and contributed to you feeling bad about yourself.  Be well, man, and I hope you can stick around.

Edited July 24, 2019 by Technico Support

[Technico Support]

10 hours ago, OSJ said:

Vic:

I don't think that I have ever been less than open-handed and honest with you whether you liked it or not. I posted earlier that the one thing I've learned in 62 years is you can be right (which feels good for a minute) or you can be kind, which is forever.  You always have that choice before you post something, consider that the person you are responding to may feel as isolated as you apparently do now and act accordingly. We talked quite a bit about your comic/writing project and when you asked for my serious opinion you got it, again, whether you liked my conclusions or not, you got an honest opinion which you solicited.  I hope you find enjoyment and success in whatever you're working on now. 

That is tremendous.  Thanks for that.

[Contentious C]

22 hours ago, OSJ said:

I'm just going to say one thing and then I will STFU and go back to making Rippa's life miserable in the appropriate folders (I can't help myself, it's what I do). If I have learned anything in my 62 years of treading this mudball it's this: You can insist on being right and that feels good for a minute or you can be kind and that's forever. Both cost nothing but the latter has a great return that the former does not.

Wait, so how exactly have you put up with me for 15+ years, then?

[Casey]

The only thing I've really learned is that a lot of people would benefit from using the ignore feature in the future.

[Matt D]

I don't have anyone on ignore right now. I know people, including some who have been here for decades, who do have a lot of people on ignore. To me, it sort of defeats the purpose of being here. This isn't Reddit or Twitter or whatever. We don't have thousands of people here. We have a couple hundred who are really active, tops, and probably less than that. This is a community as much as anything else, one a lot of us have been part of for more than half of our lives. 

[Zimbra]

I use ignore often, enthusiastically, and without remorse and I think my experience here is much better for it.

The only other forum I use regularly has a 5 user limit on their ignore list and it's like Sophie's Choice, but for which shitheads' bad opinions I want to see.

[OSJ]

58 minutes ago, Zimbra said:

I use ignore often, enthusiastically, and without remorse and I think my experience here is much better for it.

The only other forum I use regularly has a 5 user limit on their ignore list and it's like Sophie's Choice, but for which shitheads' bad opinions I want to see.

Interesting.  In all the time I've spent here I have never used the ignore feature. Here's why, maybe I'm just super chill, (though being Irish, that's doubtful), but no one is going to post something that's going to do anything more than perhaps make me consider the poster an idiot. On the other hand, even those I consider idiots occasionally have something of value to say and I don't want to miss something that could be really important to my outlook on life simply because I disagree with 99% of what a person has to say. Without getting into politics, I'll use this example, people probably have a pretty good idea where my party loyalty lies, however, the other guys have some good ideas too, if we exclude the orange shit-gibbon we put in the White House, the GOP, while generally taking a different view than mine wants the best for this country too. Their ideas of how to get there are different than mine and that's where discussion happens and without that we might as well be back swinging in the trees.

[Eivion]

1 hour ago, Matt D said:

I don't have anyone on ignore right now. I know people, including some who have been here for decades, who do have a lot of people on ignore. To me, it sort of defeats the purpose of being here. This isn't Reddit or Twitter or whatever. We don't have thousands of people here. We have a couple hundred who are really active, tops, and probably less than that. This is a community as much as anything else, one a lot of us have been part of for more than half of our lives. 

We have hundreds who are active? I figured it was maybe 5-6 dozen tops.

I never use the ignore function. I feel I should at least try and see others' perspectives on things even if I generally disagree with them.

[Zimbra]

6 minutes ago, Eivion said:

We have hundreds who are active? I figured it was maybe 5-6 dozen tops.

I never use the ignore function. I feel I should at least try and see others' perspectives on things even if I generally disagree with them.

See, and I would say that one of the biggest lessons I've learned from (Jesus wept) almost 30 years on the internet is "Not every opinion needs to be heard."  Different strokes.

Personally I'm much more likely to block someone I agree with that's an ass than someone I disagree with who knows how to act.

[Eivion]

3 minutes ago, Zimbra said:

See, and I would say that one of the biggest lessons I've learned from (Jesus wept) almost 30 years on the internet is "Not every opinion needs to be heard."  Different strokes.

Personally I'm much more likely to block someone I agree with that's an ass than someone I disagree with who knows how to act.

I actually understand that. In my case though I live in way too much of a bubble with how little I interact with people in real life so its slightly necessary for me to better educate myself at times.

Edited July 24, 2019 by Eivion

[Matt D]

It does feel a little uncaring to say "Just ignore someone if they're giving you trouble," though that is a tool available to people.