So, How's It Going?

[Mike Campbell]

I had my drug test and physical yesterday. I'm not really worried about either of them. I know damn well I'm passing the drug test. And my brother in law is in far worse shape than I am, and his job has more physical demands than the one I'm getting, and he passed his just fine. Everything the doc asked me to do, his comment was "Good." But, the hearing test honest to goodness scared the shit out of me. I'm shut in this tiny chamber wearing giant headphones and I have to press a button when I hear a beep.

 

It sounds simple, but they alternate ears and levels of faintness, so  you're never quite sure if you heard one or not. Plus, the cord attached to my button was swinging and hitting the wall, which made a noise that I thought could be a beep. It probably only took 5-7 minutes, but it felt like an hour. I had to ask the nurse how it went, because of the ear ringing and the cord issues, and she said that it was good. 

Edited May 21, 2019 by Mike Campbell

[Mike Campbell]

I've been offically offered the job! 

 

And, because my life always has impeccable timing. I got the phone call while I was waiting to be seen at another job interview. Honestly, I only took the interview as a matter of politeness, since I'd already been told that I was getting this job after I passed the drug test and physical. I don't think I'd have gotten that job anyway, but this one is more money, better hours, and much better insurance!

[Cliff Hanger]

On 5/21/2019 at 3:11 PM, Mike Campbell said:

I had my drug test and physical yesterday. I'm not really worried about either of them. I know damn well I'm passing the drug test. And my brother in law is in far worse shape than I am, and his job has more physical demands than the one I'm getting, and he passed his just fine. Everything the doc asked me to do, his comment was "Good." But, the hearing test honest to goodness scared the shit out of me. I'm shut in this tiny chamber wearing giant headphones and I have to press a button when I hear a beep.

 

It sounds simple, but they alternate ears and levels of faintness, so  you're never quite sure if you heard one or not. Plus, the cord attached to my button was swinging and hitting the wall, which made a noise that I thought could be a beep. It probably only took 5-7 minutes, but it felt like an hour. I had to ask the nurse how it went, because of the ear ringing and the cord issues, and she said that it was good. 

Coming to this a few days late, I'm so glad you got the job

 I've had tinnitus since I was born and may have developed minor hearing loss in my 40s, so I absolutely empathize with the terror of hearing exams. It's terrifying.

[OSJ]

On another note, Bushi had her kittens yesterday in the basket that we had laid out for just such an eventuality. This morning at 3AM she decided that a more appropriate locale would be my bedroom closet behind the boxes and tubs that house my comics collection and the shelves that hold the complete run of The Magazine of Fantasy & SF. Stupid fucking cat, took us an hour to rescue the newborns from a ridiculously unsafe situation and finally get mama to sleep in a tub on a blanket with them.

Anyone need a kitten? We have four to spare, it appears (though this can change) that three are black and one is orange. Don't know the genders yet, but the orange one is a big fat bastard, has to be a male.

[Ace]

Back at work. My eyesight isn't 100% back and my endurance is shite, but I'm managing to survive the week.

 

[OSJ]

36 minutes ago, Ace said:

Back at work. My eyesight isn't 100% back and my endurance is shite, but I'm managing to survive the week.

 

Good deal, bro. Though I would be remiss were I not to point out that everything is better with a kitten... Shall I put you down for one or two?

[Ace]

My apartment has 4 cats. No thanks.

 

[Nice Guy Eddie]

On 6/1/2019 at 6:59 AM, OSJ said:

On another note, Bushi had her kittens yesterday in the basket that we had laid out for just such an eventuality. This morning at 3AM she decided that a more appropriate locale would be my bedroom closet behind the boxes and tubs that house my comics collection and the shelves that hold the complete run of The Magazine of Fantasy & SF. Stupid fucking cat, took us an hour to rescue the newborns from a ridiculously unsafe situation and finally get mama to sleep in a tub on a blanket with them.

Anyone need a kitten? We have four to spare, it appears (though this can change) that three are black and one is orange. Don't know the genders yet, but the orange one is a big fat bastard, has to be a male.

I love that you have a cat named Bushi. I hope there's also Naito, EVIL, SANADA, Shingo, and Hiromu.

[OSJ]

2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I love that you have a cat named Bushi. I hope there's also Naito, EVIL, SANADA, Shingo, and Hiromu.

Bushi(y) is of course a pun, based on her bushy tail, she's a medium-hair cat except for the tail that looks like it was swapped on from a Persian or other long-haired cat.  I really wanted to name the two boys that are now six years old Naito and EVIL, but the wife was having none of it, so we have:

Jorkens - 16

Sumuru - 12 

Jackpot  & Seven - 6 (they were born in Vegas, so what are you going to do...)

Waldo - 5

Cersei - 5

Tyrion & Varys - 4

Sansa - 4

Sandor - 4 

Bushi(y) - about a year and a half near as we can figure, she's the one that adopted us last summer, just came zooming in the back door and made a bee-line for under the bed and has been with us ever since. I'm pretty sure that Jackpot is the one who extended the invitation, he normally puts up with no crap from any of the other cats, but he let her climb all over him, bite his ears, and jump on him when he was sleeping without getting mad. She still follows him around and gets away with stuff that none of the others would dare try. We call him "the iron paw" as he will whack anyone that is causing him displeasure, the exception of course being Bushi. I guess you could say that our pet has a pet and that would be pretty accurate.

[OSJ]

I suspect that most of you who know me through my Internetz postings will have long since come to the conclusion that I am fairly chill and it takes a good deal to provoke me. I am now well and thoroughly provoked

Anyway, all this segues into a long-planned visit by Kathy's sons (my step-sons)... Here's the back-story, Kat and I met on her 27th birthday, whereupon I rescued her from a horribly abusive relationship, but she had to leave the kids behind. Mike was still just under a year old and Tom was about five. Over the years things have been a roller-coaster. Mike just celebrated his first year of sobriety and considering where he came from (horribly addicted to Meth), I couldn't possibly be prouder of him. Tom, on the other  hand, has developed a remarkable skill for getting fucked up out of his mind at the most inappropriate times. Mike came down to visit us last year, marking the first time that we'd seen him in eight years. This would've been ten years  since we'd seen Tom,. but obviously there were other considerations that needed  to be given priority. Such as getting blasted out of his mind on 151 halfway across Utah. He was belligerent  and wanting to fight to both his brother and his dad (who is suffering from Alzheimer's , and while to a nicer guy it couldn't happen ), so they ended up turning around and making the twenty-hour drive back to Seattle/Lynwood. I'm really pissed at Tom as Kat is all torn up over this and none of it is her fault. I know enough about alcoholism to know that  the only one that can stop an alcoholic is the alcoholic, and since Tom likes to get drunk and feel sorry for himself, it's pretty damn unlikely that anything will change anytime soon.  

I hate being powerless, just hate it...

Edited June 14, 2019 by OSJ

[Ultimo Necro]

I’m thinking of booking the trans Siberian express train from Europe out to Vladivostok then taking the ferry from there to Japan for a week or two, travel around Japan then flying back.

Hitting 40 shortly and have an itch to travel through Europe and Russia.

Part of me thinks it could be terrifying travelling through Russia. My wife thinks I’m crazy. 

I think I should just do it.

[Nice Guy Eddie]

10 hours ago, Ultimo Necro said:

I’m thinking of booking the trans Siberian express train from Europe out to Vladivostok then taking the ferry from there to Japan for a week or two, travel around Japan then flying back.

Hitting 40 shortly and have an itch to travel through Europe and Russia.

Part of me thinks it could be terrifying travelling through Russia. My wife thinks I’m crazy. 

I think I should just do it.

That sounds amazing. I'd go for it if I had the opportunity.

I don't know if I'm going to see 40. I feel like things are falling apart around me and I just want out. Everything I've tried to improve my situation over the past few months has come up empty. The depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia are killing me. Last night, I couldn't decide between hanging myself with my bedsheets or flinging myself off the Morris Goodkind Bridge into the Raritan River. The only thing stopping me was the thought of abandoning my cats. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist Thursday and all of this is going to come out to him, so we'll see where it goes from there.

I probably shouldn't post this here, but it's either vent somewhere or keep it in, hide behind a smile, and let the knot in my stomach get tighter and tighter.

Edited June 26, 2019 by Nice Guy Eddie

[Ultimo Necro]

God damn Eddie that’s a tough read, we love you on here man.  Hope all goes well for your appointment.  The worlds a dumpster fire sometimes but you can get through it.

[The Natural]

Best wishes, Nice Guy Eddie. Hope things pick up for you ASAP.

[The Natural]

I haven't posted this before because I don't want to trigger anyone and you thinking less of me. For those reasons you might want to skip this. I'm still wavering whether to...

Five years today, I lost my Mum. I had depression beforehand and more since then including self-harm and suicidal thoughts. I won't do the latter, it's just crappy having them. June 2019 has been worse than usual and that's really saying something.

Edited June 26, 2019 by The Natural

[Nice Guy Eddie]

17 minutes ago, The Natural said:

Best wishes, Nice Guy Eddie. Hope things pick up for you ASAP.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

[Brian Fowler]

Always vent. Anytime you need to, here, or you can always message me here or on Facebook. Don't bottle it in.

[NikoBaltimore]

15 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

That sounds amazing. I'd go for it if I had the opportunity.

I don't know if I'm going to see 40. I feel like things are falling apart around me and I just want out. Everything I've tried to improve my situation over the past few months has come up empty. The depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia are killing me. Last night, I couldn't decide between hanging myself with my bedsheets or flinging myself off the Morris Goodkind Bridge into the Raritan River. The only thing stopping me was the thought of abandoning my cats. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist Thursday and all of this is going to come out to him, so we'll see where it goes from there.

I probably shouldn't post this here, but it's either vent somewhere or keep it in, hide behind a smile, and let the knot in my stomach get tighter and tighter.

I'd like to think that we're some kind of weird wrestling family of sorts so if you feel a need to say something please go right ahead.  We love you, man.  I hope things work out with the psychiatrist.

Shit, sorry, forgot to add @TheNatural to this.  Sending positive thoughts your way as well, sir.

Edited June 26, 2019 by NikoBaltimore

[Technico Support]

9 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

That sounds amazing. I'd go for it if I had the opportunity.

I don't know if I'm going to see 40. I feel like things are falling apart around me and I just want out. Everything I've tried to improve my situation over the past few months has come up empty. The depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia are killing me. Last night, I couldn't decide between hanging myself with my bedsheets or flinging myself off the Morris Goodkind Bridge into the Raritan River. The only thing stopping me was the thought of abandoning my cats. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist Thursday and all of this is going to come out to him, so we'll see where it goes from there.

I probably shouldn't post this here, but it's either vent somewhere or keep it in, hide behind a smile, and let the knot in my stomach get tighter and tighter.

 

6 hours ago, Ultimo Necro said:

God damn Eddie that’s a tough read, we love you on here man.  Hope all goes well for your appointment.  The worlds a dumpster fire sometimes but you can get through it.

THIS.  Hang and there and do your best, my friend.

Same goes to @The Natural

Edited June 26, 2019 by Technico Support

[OSJ]

Eddie and @TheNatural: 

Look guys, joy shared is increased and pain shared is diminished, always keep this in mind, and while you can go it alone, you never need to. Stay well, both of you, I've lost enough friends this last year without adding to the list. Whether you know it or not, let me just point out that some of the goofy shit that you've both posted from time to time put a smile on my face when I was thinking that it might not be a bad idea to swallow a whole bottle of my pain meds. Thank you for that and stay strong, you need to IM me, I'm never far away from the keyboard.

[Technico Support]

Seriously.  I don't care if we ever disagree on some wrestling bullshit or whatever on here.  If any of you dudes are having dark thoughts, remember you've touched the lives of people you don't even know, even if it was just a mild chuckle at a dick joke on a message board.  You're not alone and we're all in this sometimes awesome, sometimes shitty life together.  Hang in there, try to be well, and IM a friend if you need to. 

Edited June 26, 2019 by Technico Support

[Nice Guy Eddie]

Thank you everybody. It means the world to me knowing the DVDVR can double as a group therapy session, where we can discuss anything from wrestling to real life issues, to dare I say it, Seinfeld. I feel like I know some of you like family and close friends. I think we can all use a little of this today.

 

Edited June 28, 2019 by Nice Guy Eddie

[The Natural]

Cheers everyone. Most appreciated. Virtual hugs all round xxx.

Edited June 26, 2019 by The Natural

[Contentious C]

15 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

That sounds amazing. I'd go for it if I had the opportunity.

I don't know if I'm going to see 40. I feel like things are falling apart around me and I just want out. Everything I've tried to improve my situation over the past few months has come up empty. The depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia are killing me. Last night, I couldn't decide between hanging myself with my bedsheets or flinging myself off the Morris Goodkind Bridge into the Raritan River. The only thing stopping me was the thought of abandoning my cats. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist Thursday and all of this is going to come out to him, so we'll see where it goes from there.

I probably shouldn't post this here, but it's either vent somewhere or keep it in, hide behind a smile, and let the knot in my stomach get tighter and tighter.

Not to be too flip about it, but it could be worse, Eddie; you could be me.

I've had enough of my own dark thoughts that, frankly, were averted for the same reasons as you: don't want my cats nibbling on my corpse, or, worse, starving because no one missed me.  And you've just had a fair outpouring of genuine care from some of the folks you spend time with.  Count me among them; you're good people, and good people are in short supply.

Not many here know who I am (Campbell & OSJ and probably Rippa, and maybe some others who've cottoned on), but one thing you can say is that the people you know here don't so thoroughly despise you that they've literally committed libel just to talk shit about you, years after you stopped interacting with them. If I gave in to some of my lesser urges, I'm fairly sure the collective response from those people would be, "Good riddance."

In other words, as Kent (more or less) said in King Lear, it can always be worse.  I'm not one of those "count your blessings" suckers, but it's worth recognizing that absolutely every stupid soul on the planet is their own worst enemy.  And somehow, we still suck at A) admitting that, and B) understanding it as a kind of common ground.  A whole world full of people feeling inconsolably alone and still thinking they're the only drops in the ocean who move that way...it'd make you cry if it weren't so damn funny.

[Eivion]

15 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I probably shouldn't post this here, but it's either vent somewhere or keep it in, hide behind a smile, and let the knot in my stomach get tighter and tighter.

Vent here whenever possible if it helps even the slightest. Its sad and disappointing to see, but I would rather that than to hear you have done harm to yourself in some way or worse. I really hope life picks up for you sooner than later.