So, How's It Going?

[Super Ape]

3 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Today is going considerably better. My grandmother won $50,000 on a $25 scratch off ticket. For a woman who has endured so much shit in her life, Yia Yia certainly deserves it. I know, money doesn't buy happiness, but it helps a little.

My mother texted me at work, so I have to try and contain myself and remain professional.

Awesome! Money isn’t the end all, be all of life, but especially for an older person like Yia Yia, it definitely makes those golden years a little easier.

[J.T.]

3 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Today is going considerably better. My grandmother won $50,000 on a $25 scratch off ticket. For a woman who has endured so much shit in her life, Yia Yia certainly deserves it. I know, money doesn't buy happiness, but it helps a little.

My mother texted me at work, so I have to try and contain myself and remain professional.

I hate to be the practical party shitter, but in this case I think it is the right thing to do.

I hope your state is one of those that allows her to accept the money anonymously. 

Asshole scammers like to prey on old people, especially if they are armed with information about their finances and those stupid mandatory promotional pictures that states make people take while holding those huge checks as a requirement to receive their winnings is no bueno.

You may as well tattoo I HAVE WON CASH~! PLEASE ROB ME~! on your forehead.

Do your best to make sure that Yia Yia's winnings reach her bank account and are spent on her and your family (even then, be careful because family can be the worst sometimes...). 

if she choses to be chartable, ensure that her donations reach the right places and the right people.

Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS, YIA YIA~!  GET THAT MONEY, GIRL~!

Edited March 6, 2019 by J.T.

[Nice Guy Eddie]

The only people that are going to know aside from my grandmother, mother, and me is my step-father. There was no mandatory picture or anything like that. New Jersey does allow to collect anonymously.

[Technico Support]

On 3/1/2019 at 10:31 AM, Super Ape said:

Screw you, baldness. Took some overhead pictures yesterday and I am mortified at how much worse my scalp is showing than I thought it would.

Someone talk me out of going full-on Mr. Clean.

As a guy who started buzzing his head when he realized it was really thinning, I can't convince you of anything

I now shave it every 2 or 3 weeks with the lowest guard I have (I think it's 1/8") and I love it.

[Guest Stefanie Without Stefanie]

I appear to have reached the point in my transition where my co-workers think I'm sick whenever I'm not wearing makeup as opposed to misgendering me.

This may not seem like a net positive but in my head I'm doing cartwheels.

[Lamp, broken circa 1988]

December 29th I had an enormous fucking breakdown, which is fair because I have been through a massive amount of trauma just recently.

It appears that stage two of the breakdown has begun, but at least I'm cognizant of it so I'll get to warn everyone instead of just hiding and then being odd and dark to everyone who asks me any questions.

Looking forward to therapy day!

Edited March 11, 2019 by Lamp, broken circa 1988

[Technico Support]

2 hours ago, Lamp, broken circa 1988 said:

December 29th I had an enormous fucking breakdown, which is fair because I have been through a massive amount of trauma just recently.

It appears that stage two of the breakdown has begun, but at least I'm cognizant of it so I'll get to warn everyone instead of just hiding and then being odd and dark to everyone who asks me any questions.

Looking forward to therapy day!

Hang in there, buddy.

[J.T.]

My mom had cataract surgery yesterday.  She's doing fine and has gotten a lot of sympathy work around her house from me lately, but it is still one more reminder that my folks are old and are slowly falling apart.

It's tough to watch, but I appreciate the skin thickening.  It will prepare me to do what needs to be done when the time comes and I become clan elder.

I'm not giving up my Xbox One, though.

Edited March 13, 2019 by J.T.

[Cliff Hanger]

I just wanted to check in since it's been three weeks since I last posted to this thread.  First off, huge thanks to @J.T., @Technico Support @Contentious C, @Craig H for the words of sympathy and the advice.  My head's firmly above water, I've been keeping my distance from her and making a point of trying to drag my individual friends out of the house more.  One thing she remarked upon as a stressor in our relationship was that when my friend group largely collapsed in a wave of people turning 40 and feeling too old to hang out in bars and shit, and I no longer had a trivia night to go to or a monthly karaoke date with ten other people, I left too many of my expectations for not-sitting-at-home-alone on her shoulders.  She was right about that and I'm trying to take it to heart.  I've made it a point not to keep booze around the house (because if I'm home alone I've always been too willing to get a buzz going and play Injustice, and I don't want to exacerbate that with breakup sad on top of regular depression) and I'm actively seeking out new social opportunities.  I'm not "okay", to be honest I'm pretty angry at both her and myself some of the shit I put up with while I was walking on eggshells. And SXSW has put a cramp in my social opportunities since it fucks bus and rideshare and none of my friends want to deal with the bullshit, and my age and awkwardness make me not want to go to big-ass tourist parties alone.  So...I'm still wallowing a little, but I think things are going to start getting easier next week when there's not a goddamn forcefield around downtown making it impossible for me to go anywhere north of the river and unpalatable for my friends to come down here.

 

ETA: To answer J.T.'s assumption before, currently neither of us are in therapy.  My prior doctor retired and I've been having trouble finding a specialist who takes my insurance and who can be reached without spending as much to get there and home as I spend on my copay.  I'm on a couple waiting lists but have no idea when I'll be able to go back.  She hasn't been to a therapist in over fifteen years and flat out refuses to go, which was a source of friction; nothing would end a conversation about the troubles we were having faster than my suggesting we go to a couple therapist.

Edited March 14, 2019 by Cliff Hanger

[Craig H]

Good on ya buddy for at least seeking a new doctor. I totally empathize with you. My old therapist retired as well and despite there being a litany of psychologists and therapists in the area, I'm on a waiting list at a few places and no one else is taking patients despite my insurance website saying those people are taking patients. 

It sucks when you want to work on your problems and challenges with a professional and can't. I really need to address my fears of doom and other stuff and I can only take so much xanax and meditate in a day. 

Hang in there though. It sounds like you're doing the right stuff. 

[J.T.]

What Craig said.  

Continue to pursue your healing and do not let anyone stop you from pursuing your healing, Cliff.

Your ex's denial about her mental issues was problematic so you really did need to kick her to the curb.  It's sad, but you can't save someone that doesn't think they need saving and stubborn human nature is a pain in the ass.

I should know.  I can be a total asshole when it comes to going to the doctor. 

I get pretty defensive and resistant if someone else (like my boo) tells me I should go get a check-up, but that's because I don't like people making decisions like that for me and not necessarily because I don't think I need to go see the doctor.

Yes, I know it's dumb, but our need to believe we are in control of ourselves is very powerful.

It sounds like your home girl is cut from the same troublesome cloth, so she will have to get to a place in life on her own where she decides that she needs to go get help.  If anyone else tries to advise her about it, she will throw up her defensive walls.

As they say, the best ideas are the ones you come up with on your own.   Anyone else that comes up with the same idea and tries to share it with you is obviously an idiot that has horrible ideas..

Edited March 15, 2019 by J.T.

[Contentious C]

Bad day: smashed a wireless keyboard because I have a bad temper.

Good day: replaced it with a solar-powered keyboard!  No more batteries going in the trash!  Hooray infinitesimal decisions that won't stave off the death of the planet but make me feel better anyway!

[AxB]

So, anyone want a "You think you've been having a bad week?" story?

 I'm friends with this farmer. 20 odd years ago, he lost his right arm. Got caught up in a baling machine, ripped off above the elbow. Then he hiked half a mile to his house while holding the stump closed so he could call for an ambulance. Not much mobile coverage up on the hills back then. And he was right handed before that. But anyway, he adjusted. Farmed one handed for a couple of decades. Then this week, he was out putting fence posts up with his son, using one of those massive pneumatic hammers they put on the backs of tractors. Puts on fence post in, tells his son to stop, grabs the fencepost to shake it, to make sure it's secure, son activates the hammer again. 250 kilos (550+ lbs) of pressure right into his left hand. Crushes the all the bones to fragments. It's like the second worst thing that ever happened to him.

[NikoBaltimore]

Holy shit that's awful.  I was going to joke that he could learn to be a one-armed swordsman (fantastic movie) but crushing his other hand is just awful.  Is he working on getting that healed or finding some way to make it functional?  I can't what being in that situation is like.

[J.T.]

Holy crap, that is tragic and sad. 

I was going to post about my kinda grandkid gave me a head cold and how getting sick from something you get from a child is about the worst thing that can happen to you, but the one armed farmer thing kicks my situation squarely in the ass.

Edited March 21, 2019 by J.T.

[Contentious C]

I seem to recall a news story about a younger guy losing both arms more or less the same way roughly 20 years ago; maybe that version was apocryphal and it was him? Or more likely it's just depressingly common. 

Body part stuff is the first red line for me with respect to "shit I hope I never experience".  If someone says to you, "I can get you a toe," you can be quite certain it won't be mine. 

[AxB]

OK, it looks like it might be slightly less catastrophic than I was first told . He managed to extricate half his hand before it got crushed, so he's got this massive cast on his hand, but his index and middle fingers and his thumb are poking out of it and apparently functional.

Oh, and he's back at work already. You know how all farmers are incredibly tough? He's a guy who's known for his toughness amongst farmers. I asked him how it was, he said it hurt a bit at the time but he's fine now.

[AxB]

 

I seem to recall a news story about a younger guy losing both arms more or less the same way roughly 20 years ago; maybe that version was apocryphal and it was him? Or more likely it's just depressingly common. 

He would have been mid to late 30s twenty years ago, so you're probably thinking of someone else. It is depressingly common though; Less so now, because of all the health and safety rules we didn't used to have. And surgeons have gotten very good at reattaching severed limbs recently.

[Mike Campbell]

The last day of my ten-hour workday stretch. I wish I knew when I turned into an old man. I used to work 10 -11 hour shifts nightly without batting an eyelash. But, this feels like it's draining the life out of me.  Even worse is that I'm out of coffee and the wife denied my requests to either go to the store for more or to go to the coffee hut and get me a cup after school (she's a teacher).

 

So, I guess I"m getting though today with coke (I meant the soda  ).

[OSJ]

On 3/21/2019 at 1:15 PM, Mike Campbell said:

The last day of my ten-hour workday stretch. I wish I knew when I turned into an old man. I used to work 10 -11 hour shifts nightly without batting an eyelash. But, this feels like it's draining the life out of me.  Even worse is that I'm out of coffee and the wife denied my requests to either go to the store for more or to go to the coffee hut and get me a cup after school (she's a teacher).

 

So, I guess I"m getting though today with coke (I meant the soda  ).

My wife has just volunteered to make another half-pot of coffee since I did all three of the litter boxes. They all went out at 6AM and came back in because it's still relatively cold here,. so really not much to do.  

Well, as there's about $400 worth pf books that I I want to buy and you bastards keep coming up with stuff to recommend in the comix forums that I can't seemingly do without I'll need to get some stuff loaded on to eBay... So what sort of stuff does a guy who has been collecting. accumulating  material for over fifty years dump on eBay? Check out Seller ID Chrismorris927 and see! Chris is my nephew and we were  going to use his account and do comics and sportscards in a big way until he realized that there would be a lot of work involved and that was why people were so happy to pay me $60 for boxes of football cards that they paid  $50 for. They ended up with over $200 in value  that I was perfectly happy to give them in actual cash of $120 for day at the end of the day.

So checkout SELLER ID = ChrisMorris927  as I was just informed that dustjacksetcovers comic book bags be they magazine size,.comicbooksize or whathave you are notreadili availableible, so off  SELLERS

[GuerrillaMonsoon]

I really don't know.

My father's still terminally ill, but pushing shit up hill as best he can, taking care of my grandfather who's 94 and alzheimers well and truly set in, but incredibly physically healthy for his age and will probably out live us all, and his autistic older brother/my uncle, who burns through all disposable income they have trying to fund his.....burgeoning porn empire with his late 90s style website that no-one in their right mind would ever subscribe to.  Once my Dad dies from this, that is a multitude of shit on the other side of the world I am in no way capable of dealing with.

My mother had a stroke recently, leaving behind a severely underinsured business, a series of hidden bank accounts no-one can reach, and a property portfolio that was The Big Short-esque in being over-leveraged. Not a single cent in principle paid off any mortgages, all valued well less than the mortgage taken out on each. Hadn't really spoken to her in recent months, but figured I'd try to help out remaining family with insurance claims and any other business admin I can lend some expertise to. This has lead to remaining family putting a caveat on my home as it's the only one with any real value, and the one trip to the hospital being screamed at in front of my 18 month old daughter that I was responsible for her having the stroke, as I didn't visit her enough. Cool. Not interested, you guys do you.

Looked at selling our place before the market gets really bad. It's not really worth it. Either from a value perspective, or the constant need to keep the place spotless enough for 10 minutes to show someone through it before 18 mth old destroys everything. On the other hand, barely treading water from a debt perspective, and a 3.5 hr round trip to work is just not sustainable anymore. Guess it goes on the backburner until the market improves, or we have no other choice. Super worried for my MIL who went guarantor for us despite all logic saying bad investment.

Slowly being performance managed out at work. I'm garbage/dangerously under-qualified at what I do, but have been for 3 years,  and escaped scrutiny until I complained about working from home access being revoked for parents in the team. Now, a weekly humiliating work review, and 10 weeks to go on a performance improvement plan that I have no chance of meeting, and as much as I want to portray my boss as an evil asshole, it's very much a "here's 12 weeks to find a new job" scenario. Have spent most of my weekends doing extra work for essentially no progress, so this is the first one that I've thrown in the towel and decided to spend it with family. Job hunt is pretty ordinary - nothing really has gone my way - a lot of positions I've interviewed well only for an internal promotion to occur, or the money hasn't been something I've been in a position to accept. On the other hand, lot of self destructive behavior. Walked out of one interview after the interviewer made a homophobic slur that I thought was the final red flag. In hindsight, I would have got that job and it would have paid well. Principles are a luxury. 4 second round interviews hoping to hear back from this week, but nothing that really inspires behind the idea that I live to fight another day - bad location, bad money, not what I want to be doing, or all of the above. 

It's not that I want to kill myself or feel depressed enough to need to do it, but from a rational perspective I can't see how it's not the best option for everyone else if things don't improve. I'm insured for 7 figures, I've met my self-harm exclusion period, that's money that can put my grandfather in a home, pay off a mortgage, allow my wife to work less and spend time with our daughter, and probably an appropriate consequence for some really poor decisions and failures to provide properly, pride cometh before a fall and all that. 

As it stands, 10 weeks left at this current role before they fire me, 4 weeks termination money, about another 2 weeks worth of wages worth of stock options I can cash in once I'm no longer an employee,  and then a tax return of about 2 weeks too. That takes me to mid-August before things become dire. If I can't find a job to provide for my family in that period of time, I probably don't deserve to stick around realistically.

[AxB]

Your wife and kid need you more than they need money. You might feel like you're a liability right now, but people need you more than you realise. Keep strong.

[Burgundy LaRue]

Life is rough, but it would be rougher for your family if you're not here, @RolandTHTG. As the saying goes, it will get better. 

[Brian Fowler]

How in the motherfucking hell can a mental health facility recommend a 90 day stay for a sufficient sucidial, borderline 15 year old, and then the motherfuckers at the insurance company can just say "no, he only needs/we'll only pay for 25 days"?

I've never before in my life honestly wanted to murder people.

[Casey]

Because health care is a business first in America.