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So, How's It Going?


Gonzo

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16 hours ago, PetrolCB said:

It’s conclusive that I’m losing my house very soon and I have absolutely nowhere else to go. 

What happened to France?

Technically my spare room is empty. But it's in England, which might not be ideal.  

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On 8/25/2018 at 12:03 AM, OSJ said:

You can't re-fi the house? In my experience, banks don't really want your house, they want your money and will bend over backwards to find ways to keep you paying them. As far as where to go, surely among friends, co-workers, even nodding acquaintances someone must need or want a room-mate?

 

No. I inherited it 4 years ago after my grandparents passed away. I’m not in the most ideal of family situations. It’s always been disjointed, which is why I’ve always considered them my real parents. They bought the house in ‘67 and has been paid off for a while now. But during their declining years, they neglected to pay property taxes, which I wasn’t really privy to. 

I was spending 24/7 for a good 5-6 year stretch single handedly taking care of them all by myself. As you can imagine, I was run ragged as fuck. The only family members that would be relevant here are their kids; my father and two uncles. But they live down in Florida and ever since my GPs passed, they’ve done nothing but give me shit. They are those types of people. I’m passive and dislike getting in arguments, so I accept the verbal abuse. Which, yeah, isn’t healthy. That’s just who I am. 

But anyway, sorry, I veered off. It’s not so much a bank thing I think, as it is a lien. I don’t know how that stuff works but I’m assuming it’s not good. It’s all too much for me to contemplate and I’d rather cut my losses. As far as someone who has an open space briefly, that is not an option. I lost a lot of friends during those years when I couldn’t leave the house because I was caring for my GPs. 

I don’t have a lot of friends anyway. I can literally count on one hand, actual real life friends, and still have fingers left over. My longest friend, who I’ve known for almost 29 years and is like a brother to me (I’m an only child, he’s the same age) is back in the area. He’s cleaned himself up and I’ve basically been the only one to stay in contact with him during so. He knows my situation, actually gives a shit about me, is on a fresh start and is looking for a place in the city, safe area obviously, and will split with me and his girlfriend.

But all of that is now banking on two things: when he finds a place, which I will accept sight unseen. The second, which, you’ve gotta love this because it is so apropos in a negative time like this; I’m checking myself into the hospital tomorrow due to health problems that I let linger for way longer than I should’ve. So now, I have that stuff crippling me. 

Life is a strange thing. 

Sorry for this long, stupid, rambling reply.

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A lien? Okay, not a great thing, but hardly the end of the world. A lien is essentially a legal instrument wherein an injured party (one that is owed money) is able to position themselves in such a way that their claim must be satisfied prior to any other transactions involving the property in question take place. Kurt could probably explain this a little better than what I'm doing (my past life  left me with a pretty solid background in construction law, but I want to emphasize that I'm not now, nor have I ever been an attorney.) 

Without knowing more details it sounds like what you may have would be a simple tax lien. Again, this is a way for a Municipal, State, or Federal agency to protect themselves and collect monies due them (generally speaking: property taxes.)  As I noted originally, as with banks, so too with public entities, it's all about the Benjamins, nobody wants to take away your house, they want their money and I'm quite certain that they'll be very accommodating in working something out so that they can get paid by you. Possibly even up to and including removing the lien as the big downside (for them as well as you) is that the very instrument that supposedly exists to put them in a secure position also effectively hamstrings you from the very easiest thing in world for you to do to raise the money to settle the debt, that is to say a quick re-fi. 

Basically, you need to sit down with these folks and convince them that you want to make things right and you're not out to try and screw anyone over, but you need the ability to GET THEM THEIR MONEY and your hands are tied as long as the lien is in place. Chance are pretty good that they'll work with you. 

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2 hours ago, Dewar said:

Any chance your friend and his girlfriend could move into your place and pay rent? Give them a decent deal on rent, and put that money towards the lien.

Three years ago, I did have a friend here during his “in between places” phase. Which was about 6-7 months. This place is such an albatross now though, for my own well being I need out of here.  

Thanks for that explanation, @OSJ, I really appreciate it. I’ll dive further into the matter. As for right now, I have to mentally prepare for this hospital admission. 

Thanks again. 

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I have a female co-worker who my wife and I have taken a liking to even though the woman is borderline unfriendly and I feel like a socially awkward teenage when I attempt to have a conversation with her.

So of course I found out today I have to work even more closely with this co-worker for the next several months.  Really not looking forward to this.  I don't dislike the woman - quite the opposite - but she's so tightly wound she makes me jumpy.  Been working with her six months, and I barely get past hello with her.  She has a tendency to either shut down conversations within two sentences or just not respond much to the usual emotional cues.  I feel awkward around her because I feel this weird lack of affect when I talk to her.  Case in point: I took a neighbor the ER a few nights ago and spent the night in the reception area (she was admitted) until her family showed up the next morning (husband was out of time on business, rest of family lives out of state).  Mentioned that to my co-worker and she just said "get some more sleep" and walked off.  I assume she thinks I had to check myself into the ER for something or other, but didn't care to ask what was going on.

Sigh.  I could get off the project or probably get her reassigned.  But.... my wife wants me to figure this out.  We both like the woman, but both think she's so wrapped up in her own..... something (life?  Stress?  Relationship)... that we get nothing from her.  My wife thinks I think that eventually this co-worker gets encouraged to leave because she doesn't fit in or she eventually has some sort of stress-induced.  About two years back, another friend has a stressful workplace situation that culminated in her suffering a minor stroke and losing consciousness in the middle of a meeting.  She was 38 at the time. 

Lol, I've never been good at minding my own business when it comes to friends and family, so... my wife is probably right.  I guess I'm going to try to find some way to get through to her.  I have a feeling she's got a shitty life outside of work and not a lot of friends, so the wife seems to think we should "adopt" her.  Lol, what I'm expecting to happen is that her social life will blow up in my face (the one personal detail I've learned about her  is that she's got some sort of on-again, off-again wedding engagement) will explode and I'll get to deal with that.  But....

But, I was too busy to hang out with my friend with the stroke much the 6-12 months before the stroke - or make time to ask her about the new job - and I still feel guilty about that.

 

 

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I quit my band after 15 years. Three albums, tons of shows, and I was done. It was the cliche of "creative differences." I found myself cut out of the writing after writing tons of the last two albums. Egos were bruised by how much I was producing. After sitting back waiting for the other guys to fill the gap, one and a half songs were written....over 11 months. I left the band but hopefully saved the friendships.

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Got back from vacation with the kids just as we were getting four inches of rain within an hour. We've had preexisting flooding, have waterproofed on our own which lasted until the flooding around here got worse in the last few years. We had a water-filled "wall" barricade up outside the side door which has been working, at least until we can drop the 10K or whatever to get things really fixed (both inside and out), and that gave us some peace of mind while away but it couldn't stand to this. We had more flooding in the finished basement (about halfway into the room saturating the carpet).

Good news was 1) that we didn't get caught in it while on the bay bridge and 2) that we came home just in time to deal with it. An hour later would have been an issue on both counts but it was a shitty thing to come home to and we have so much work before we can even start to bring in a contractor and then the cost is the cost. 

Between climate change and all of the new developments around us destroying natural water run off this is the new normal though.

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22 hours ago, odessasteps said:

Flooding super bad up here tonight. Auto rescues, bridges washed out, etc. 

There was a car stuck on a bridge with water up to the roof. A couple stopped to help the stranded car. The woman good samaritan got washed away and has yet to be found. The car also was swept off the bridge and was found in the morning with the driver deceased.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

As a somewhat reasonable person in an absolutely unreasonable world, I try to give others the benefit of the doubt. To think of the good we all possess. To not get too caught up in my feelings and see a different POV.

But the more I try to be reasonable, the more I see the absurdity. The more I see most people as f***wads with no concern for anyone else, let alone someone in my position. That no matter how I try to explain things, whether calmly or with vitriol, they will not listen. Because they don't want to listen. They DGAF yet somehow claim to be compassionate to others. Stop lying to me and more importantly, stop lying to yourself. You don't care and don't want to do better.

The worst part is I'm mad at myself and not sure of why. But never in my life have I been this angry and disappointed in people. 

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On 9/1/2018 at 8:33 PM, odessasteps said:

There was a car stuck on a bridge with water up to the roof. A couple stopped to help the stranded car. The woman good samaritan got washed away and has yet to be found. The car also was swept off the bridge and was found in the morning with the driver deceased.  

As a follow up, the woman was found dead a few days later, either in the river or having washed up onshore. 

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Ever get the feeling the World is trying to tell you something? Because lately it seems like the World is trying very hard to say it's time to stop chasing your dreams and focus more on achieving nothing.

On the plus side, I managed to get my Dad into the Cocteau Twins. You'd think the window for getting your Dad into bands he'd never heard of would close in your mid-twenties, but here I am pulling it off at 44.

 

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Austin has gotten more rain than we're used to seeing outside of March and October the past week.  All in all it's a good thing, but my complex's parking lot floods really easily.  Today when I got home from work there was an inch and a half of water and I stupidly hustled to avoid having to use a hair dryer on my shoes.  I stepped over the tiny river right outside my door, and put my foot down into particularly treacherous mud. I managed to avoid hitting my head on the tree by putting a hand down, but I pretty much ruined my satchel and pants, sent my glasses flying and had to spend 20 min searching thru the mud, and because I landed with 90 percent of my 235lb mass on one hip, I have a massive bruise and swelling.  After 4 hrs the swelling has finally started to subside, and I'm confident that there's no ongoing bleeding or fluid coming in or spreading, but it's still freaky to have a goose egg that looks like an extra, misplaced buttock or half a football or something.  I'm embarrassed at my mishap and pissed at having to throw things away, but what really bothers me is that when I mentioned it on Facebook and some friends (a HS friend who's a nurse, a friend with serious chronic illness whose life depends on going to the doctor as soon as she's worried and a couple of actual hypochondriacs) my GF who will not set foot in a doctor's office unless she fears for her life texts me with "You seem to know an awful lot of histrionic females" and I just can't tonight.  I'm pissed that she's dismissive of my concerns about a health situation I've never experienced before and I'm pissed that she's instantly suspicious of my people who're more cautious than her.  I explained why I felt like that was an unfair characterization of some of them, she asked if their concerns had made me feel more or less afraid and I said "neither, really." She immediately told me she was going to bed and I feel incredibly frustrated with her and don't know if that's fair or not.  Because we both have mental health conditions, I often find myself wondering whether her disorder is leading her to act shitty, or if my disorder is making me think her disorder is making her act shitty when I'm actually being totally unreasonable.

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My cousin (mom's first cousin) died of a heart attack at 54 Wednesday morning. My mom and grandma and Grandma's husband went over to my (great) Aunt and Uncle's house, along with the minister of their church, to tell them in person instead of learning over the phone.

My aunt literally didn't understand at first, thinking it was a different family member with the same name. You shouldn't ever lose your own child. 

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16 minutes ago, Brian Fowler said:

My cousin (mom's first cousin) died of a heart attack at 54 Wednesday morning. My mom and grandma and Grandma's husband went over to my (great) Aunt and Uncle's house, along with the minister of their church, to tell them in person instead of learning over the phone.

My aunt literally didn't understand at first, thinking it was a different family member with the same name. You shouldn't ever lose your own child. 

Sorry for your loss, @Brian Fowler.

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21 minutes ago, Zimbra said:

Love to be at a wedding where I don't only not no anyone, but almost everyone is significantly older or younger than me.

French kiss the bride and dive into the cake, you will be guaranteed to make some acquaintances. 

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14 hours ago, Control said:

I am sick. Remember when you were like a teenager and being sick could be kinda fun...like, you couldn’t go out but you could watch tv and play video games? But now when I’m sick I’m just sick full time.

When I quit working 8 years ago because of multiple chronic illnesses, everyone was like, "Oh I'm so jealous!" and I'm like, "Hey, you wanna deal with this for me?" It sucks. 

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