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So, How's It Going?


Gonzo

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  • 4 weeks later...

My kid got accepted into two of the specialty high schools in the 804 that she applied to.  Hermitage School for the Humanities and Maggie Walker School of Government. 

I'm very proud of her, but she's cautiously pleased because she's holding out for the Glen Allen School of Education.

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Congratulations.

My kid's small Lutheran school is having a vote on whether or not to close at the end of the school year. As we live in Philadelphia, public schools are a fucking mess, leaving us with no choice but to put her in Catholic school, despite me being a recovering Catholic and my wife being Jewish. I really don't want her to go to a Catholic school, but I really REALLY don't want her to go to our neighborhood public school.

Lose-lose situation for sure.

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I am officially 35 as of today, it's all downhill from here. How old do I have to be to complain about mundane stupid shit that doesn't matter? 45? 50? OSJ? Old people often argue about children on their lawns, I've heard.

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5 hours ago, J.T. said:

My kid got accepted into two of the specialty high schools in the 804 that she applied to.  Hermitage School for the Humanities and Maggie Walker School of Government. 

I'm very proud of her, but she's cautiously pleased because she's holding out for the Glen Allen School of Education.

These all sound fancy, good for her, I didn't have much choice in the matter. At least the school isn't to the flat earth science point of teaching yet.

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20 hours ago, Ryan said:

I am officially 35 as of today, it's all downhill from here. How old do I have to be to complain about mundane stupid shit that doesn't matter? 45? 50? OSJ? Old people often argue about children on their lawns, I've heard.

Buddy, this is the internet.  Complaining about mundane stupid shit that doesn't matter is what we do here.

Happy Birthday!

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3/12/07 was my mom's last birthday before she died in September of the same year.  I wasn't realy expecting the anniversary to hit me so hard, but I've been crying on and off for the past couple hours. The fact that I'm a week away from 40 makes it even more mortality-riffic.

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18 hours ago, Cliff Hanger said:

3/12/07 was my mom's last birthday before she died in September of the same year.  I wasn't realy expecting the anniversary to hit me so hard, but I've been crying on and off for the past couple hours. The fact that I'm a week away from 40 makes it even more mortality-riffic.

The one thing you need to remember is that it is okay to feel what you're feeling. 

Grieving can be a lengthy process and you need to allow yourself to time to process your feelings for as long as you need to.

And yeah, mortality sucks.   My ex-wife's recent revelation that she's been diagnosed with Stage 2 Lymphoma has brought out the mortality discussions with my daughter despite the rather high survivability rate.  It's not an easy thing to talk about.

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Went back to the doctor on Tues, I weighed in at 222.2 lbs and the BP was 118/76. That puts me at my lowest weight in twenty years, I've came up with three weight goals. The first(getting down to 200 lbs) is very attainable. The second(182 lbs, half my starting body weight lost) and third(164 lbs, 200 lbs lost) are more for some sort of weird ego fulfillment. It's been a long road and one hell of a ride.

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And to the surprise of absolutely nobody, my daughter's school is closing at the end of June.

So now we get to scramble in search of a Catholic school so she doesn't have to go to our dirt-awful public schools...

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I've struggled with depression for most of my life and I try hard to not let it effect my marriage, children, or work life. I have several coping mechanisms such as training BJJ (forces me to focus on the task at hand) & reading comics (takes me out of my own head) that I try to use for "self care." These are much better than the methods I used in my early twenties (trying to get laid as often and with as many women as possible) or thirties (blowing money on stupid shit just to get a quick rush of happiness.) However they are not, of course, a cure all nor do they work all the time and obviously are not things I can do at the drop of the hat. Despite my efforts it definitely does affect my marriage and sometimes my marriage affects it. 

Yesterday while waiting for the train after work, I kept thinking about stepping off the platform. The thought "it probably will only hurt for a second" entered my mind. I had to force myself to stare at the ground and to then take out my phone and stare at it. And then the train came and the door opened in front of me. I scared myself that I was close enough to doing it to force myself to focus on the ground instead of the tracks. I haven't been that close to the "edge" in a long time. I recognize that being strong enough to refocus is a very small victory, but I am still shaken. 

I have had a few different therapists in my life and the best of them retired years ago, I really don't want to go through the process of finding a new therapist or the getting to know you phase again, nor do I know where the hell I would fit in something else into my life. I don't know if I am going to say anything to my wife yet or what I am going to do moving forward. I just needed to get this out. Thank You for listening. 

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This has been in the works for awhile- we're moving across town to Forest Hills in a few weeks. We love Astoria to death, but our current place of residence was never going to be permanent. New joint has on-site gym/laundry/parking (w/Zipcars!), elevators, dog runs, either a park or a swimming pool on the way, plus it's super-duper convenient with tons of dining/shopping/trans options in walking distance. It's our first "adult" apartment, and we can't bail soon enough.

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1 hour ago, Pete said:

This has been in the works for awhile, but we're moving across town to Forest Hills in a few weeks. We love Astoria to death, but our current place of residence was never going to be permanent. New joint has on-site gym/laundry/parking (w/Zipcars!), elevators, dog runs, either a park or a swimming pool on the way, plus it's super-duper convenient with tons of dining/shopping/trans options in walking distance. It's our first "adult" apartment, and we can't bail soon enough.

The Mrs. & I lived in Forest Hills for four years; loved the restaurants and all the shops, but our rent was crazy for the shitty pre-war building we were living in over on Burns Street. I do still miss going to 5 Burros, the enhiladas del norte there are fantastical. Best of luck on the new digs Pete!

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On 3/31/2017 at 7:19 AM, Pete said:

This has been in the works for awhile, but we're moving across town to Forest Hills in a few weeks. We love Astoria to death, but our current place of residence was never going to be permanent. New joint has on-site gym/laundry/parking (w/Zipcars!), elevators, dog runs, either a park or a swimming pool on the way, plus it's super-duper convenient with tons of dining/shopping/trans options in walking distance. It's our first "adult" apartment, and we can't bail soon enough.

Do you get a Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am surrounded by idiots: well-intentioned, sure...but idiots just the same.

My girls and I need to move: landlord is upping the rent on this shitty icebox we've been living in. It was so cold I swear we were going to freeze to death this winter. A friend of mine has a place, which is a little small but the girls and I are prepared to make it work. She rents it out from under me to a friend "who really needs it." Not like a single dad with two kids really needs a place to live, right?

So I reach out to my friends via social media, and I should've KNOWN that was a mistake. One friend sent me listings that say "single female only," or IN A DIFFERENT FUCKING TOWN. Like, sending links without even fucking reading them. It's hard to soar with eagles when surrounded by turkeys, as the saying goes...FUCK.

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1 hour ago, Brian Fowler said:

Damn

Sorry to hear that Marty

Kelowna is in a rental crisis, so it's kind of expected. We have the third-highest rent in all of Canada, behind only Vancouver and Toronto...which is ridiculous, as Kelowna is the 22nd biggest city/municipality in the country.

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Both of my future in-laws are being unbelievable shitheads and are on the verge of getting disinvited from our wedding.

Is it really that fucking hard to act grown for 48 hours to see your daughter get married?

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1 hour ago, Zimbra said:

Both of my future in-laws are being unbelievable shitheads and are on the verge of getting disinvited from our wedding.

Is it really that fucking hard to act grown for 48 hours to see your daughter get married?

I feel your pain there.  I'm still trying to figure out who is more mature - my 2 year old son or 75 year old father in law.  Honestly I think it's the 2 year old.

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Conversely, a friend of mine loves his in-laws and has nothing to do with his mother who raised him and never met his father. (It's complicated. No, not absenteeism.) Odd how life works.

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