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The Awesome/Annoying TV COMMERCIAL Thread

piranesi

By piranesi
in MOVIES & TV

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Neil Koch

Neil Koch

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Posted

I've said it before - the spokesgirl is cute but that is an awful deal for data if you have kid (s). The one where they try to promote it with realtors is even worse, those people could probably go through 10GB in a day. Psst... it doesn't matter how fast your network is as long as you have a shitty data cap....

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Elsalvajeloco

Elsalvajeloco

Posted
Posted

While this campaign still sucks - Grant Hill's fake (or real) wife is super cute

 

http://youtu.be/nWp3FqwYmgs

 

EDIT - Apparently that is his wife Tamina. So congrats Grant!

 

TAMIA! She was a one hit wonder like ten years ago. You watch too much wrestling and don't listen to enough slow jams, RIPPA.

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piranesi

piranesi

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You guys are helpless aren't you.

 

What we see there is her grooming process and some results of her feeding.  We learn here that she targets the weak and forgotten.  In this case we see a "man" whose wrinkles would make him late 30s, but whose clothing and demeanor betray his true age of about 17.  Like so many predators, Wendy's lady finds her succor among the runaways and lost children of the city.

 

We see her hold over him.  His mixture of terror and bliss in her presence.  We flash into his crumbling psyche for God's sake and see his descent into Chtulhian madness as the veneer of the world gives way to the random occurrences and terrifying shocks of the convulsive truth that Wendy's lady offers him in return for his soul.  A truth so vast and timeless and awesome that the mind is essentially frozen in a state of gastric heaving.  The senses dulled.  Language disintegrating into a series of spluttered questions and half thoughts.

 

Based on this clip, I'd say he's been in her thrall for about a month.  His face and body have aged 20 years even though he still bears the sheepish posture and absurd clothing and goofy locks of a small-town naif.   Do you pity him this brutal process that savages his body and wracks him alternately with exquisite pleasure and unthinkable pain?  It is natural, in it's way.  She is feeding.  Like any other creature.  He can, if nothing else, take comfort in knowing that his life is useful, unlike so many others.  He is nourishment for a creature that seems to him immortal.  He is food of the Gods.

 

That's not nothing.  Envy him.

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The Man Known as Dan

The Man Known as Dan

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You guys are helpless aren't you.

 

What we see there is her grooming process and some results of her feeding.  We learn here that she targets the weak and forgotten.  In this case we see a "man" whose wrinkles would make him late 30s, but whose clothing and demeanor betray his true age of about 17.  Like so many predators, Wendy's lady finds her succor among the runaways and lost children of the city.

 

We see her hold over him.  His mixture of terror and bliss in her presence.  We flash into his crumbling psyche for God's sake and see his descent into Chtulhian madness as the veneer of the world gives way to the random occurrences and terrifying shocks of the convulsive truth that Wendy's lady offers him in return for his soul.  A truth so vast and timeless and awesome that the mind is essentially frozen in a state of gastric heaving.  The senses dulled.  Language disintegrating into a series of spluttered questions and half thoughts.

 

Based on this clip, I'd say he's been in her thrall for about a month.  His face and body have aged 20 years even though he still bears the sheepish posture and absurd clothing and goofy locks of a small-town naif.   Do you pity him this brutal process that savages his body and wracks him alternately with exquisite pleasure and unthinkable pain?  It is natural, in it's way.  She is feeding.  Like any other creature.  He can, if nothing else, take comfort in knowing that his life is useful, unlike so many others.  He is nourishment for a creature that seems to him immortal.  He is food of teh Gods.

 

That's not nothing.  Envy him.

I'd pay for you to write Wendy's Girl fanfic in this theory, just to watch madness unravel around the page.

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Ryan

Ryan

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Posted

This quote from one of my favorite TV shows definitely applies to Piranesi.

"Oh, if only you could see what I hear. Upon the night, betwixt earth and flesh, the grinding of souls whispers a tale of how the dead do dance."

104146.jpg

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  • 3 weeks later...
piranesi

piranesi

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Do you remember that great moment in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK when we see Vader in his meditation/brain chamber thingy, and then when we see him communicating with the Emperor?  

Previously we've always seen Vader as the most powerful being in the galaxy, mostly by only seeing the flurry of lesser beings scurrying around in him in various public situations.  Our view of him has been limited.  But suddenly we see him alone, in private.  We see beyond the veil of invincibility.  and in getting behind the public facade we also get our first glimpse of his own higher power.  And suddenly the universe is larger than we thought it could be.  And the character is no longer a simple invincible antagonist force, but a complex character with a story of his own.

Well, Baconator pilgrims, tonight Wendy's has debuted a new commercial.  It is astounding.  It is a similar moment.  For the first time we see inside Wendy's Lady's own mind.  Up to now we have inhabited the perspective of those living in her dream world, trying to piece together what's left of their fragmented consciousness in the moments before she devours them.  Predictably our view has been bizarre and distorted, quick mirages and fever hallucinations in bright colors and comforting but surreal bits of a world built from frail and faltering memories.   We assume she uses their own memories to encase them in a landscape that will stimulate them, fattening up their psyches for the feast.  

For literally years now we have been exploring this world, drifting among the brigades of her prey as they sway slowly toward death in the bowels of her blinding beauty.

And now everything changes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDQkAQHVr8M

For whatever reason, and by whatever means, we have now been allowed into her private domain, even perhaps into her mind.   And we can start to piece together what drives her and maybe even what frightens her.  Apparently there is no omnipotence that is not governed by yet another layer of omnipotence.  It is endless, this Wendy's universe.  The answers we thought we had were only windows onto more questions.

Her minions gone.  Their memories no longer maintaining the illusion of warm landscapes and sterile commercial design office cubicles.  No more slender men in cardigans with shoulder bags.  No more blindingly bright and antiseptic parks filled with shambling, dead-eyed picnickers.  Her true landscape, what is actually there, is empty, dark, gray gothic, in shadows. 

 

We see her in her vast shadowy domain contemplating her own past and youth, so we now know that she is not immortal or at least not perpetual.  We see her reminisce,so she feels emotion, at the very least nostalgia. She watches a cypher of herself consuming a human being (symbolized by a premium bacon double cheeseburger)...that magic moment in which one of us poor purposeless souls bathes in communion with her...and is gone.  She seems to seek comfort in this memory.  She feels genuine affection for us, her prey.  It's like she's looking at a family album in the form of a living tableau...each painting another human being she has swallowed.   She has collected their memories to construct her ideal world.

But then, we see something else.  We see her suddenly in the same position as her victims.  Her reality fades and is replaced by something else under someone elses power.  Swept away by a storm created by...well perhaps we'll find out eventually, but for now all we can say is that she is in fact beholden to a higher power.  Is she doing its bidding?  Or is her own reign of terror merely a way to hold off another larger evil?  Does she consume human souls in order to maintain a border between herself and this other place?  Is the reality that her victims construct with their collective dreams and death-visions a kind of hive to keep her protected from this other world?  Is it hell?  Is it her home dimension?  Is she a servant?  A renegade?  A savior?

At the end she falls to her knees, stripped of all but a supplicant's gown, alone in a Gotham-esque landscape, swept up in a tempest and bathed in darkness...on narrow streets of cobblestone, her eyes are stabbed by the flash of a neon light that splits the night...

she looks up to confront...what?

Her higher power?  Her God?  Her tormentor?  Or perhaps her rescuer?   Her hope?  Until we know that, we can't tell what she is: antagonist or victim.  Devourer or tragic anti-hero.  Perhaps she will even prove to be our protector, the last layer between us and this nigthmarescape.

And the sign flashed out its warning in the words that it was forming. And the sign said:

"PRETZEL IS BACK!"

My God, Who is Pretzel?  And what does it want from us all?

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  • 2 weeks later...
cool arrow

cool arrow

Posted
Posted

I don't know who told the CEO of ITT Tech that he should be doing commercials, but I really wish he would stop.  I'm surprised Peter Jackson hasn't hired this strange emaciated creature with the enormous head to replace Andy Sirkis and save a few million on motion-capture.  The guy looks like he was just liberated from Dachau, for Christ's sake.

 

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