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The Awesome/Annoying TV COMMERCIAL Thread


piranesi

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Ok there's an Eggo commercial out now where a little boy refuses to eat the breakfast his mom puts out while dancing to "You Can't Touch This".  It's stupid, and relies on the old "black people have to be dancing" trope.  But the little girl who plays his kid sister is hilarious.  Seriously watch her reaction when the brother starts dancing.  She has this great look on her face like she just can't believe this shit is going down when she's trying to eat her breakfast.  That kid deserves an award. 

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They've been playing the bejeezus out of the 30-second version of this ad recently - and it's fun and all, in a bite-sized-portion kind of way - but the SuperBowl-length original is a fucking work of ART.  And who else besides Willem Dafoe (perfectly cast here, BTW) has played Jesus and Lucifer?

 

 

 

George Burns came close.  I mean, if you want to get really theological and go the Catholic way, technically he did.

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Ok there's an Eggo commercial out now where a little boy refuses to eat the breakfast his mom puts out while dancing to "You Can't Touch This".  It's stupid, and relies on the old "black people have to be dancing" trope.  But the little girl who plays his kid sister is hilarious.  Seriously watch her reaction when the brother starts dancing.  She has this great look on her face like she just can't believe this shit is going down when she's trying to eat her breakfast.  That kid deserves an award. 

I hate commericals like this where kids refuse to eat shit. If I refused to eat what my mom gave me for breakfast, my ass went to school hungry. That happened once. ONCE. Plus I walked 5 miles, blah blah blah.

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Guys, I think I found that old guy who's ruining all your movie theater experiences in that other thread.

You kids with your loud music and your Dan Fogelberg. Your zima, hula hoops and pac-man video games....

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I hesitate to love this too much, because it seems really easy somehow...like commercials where office workers do embarassing things are a neverending thing nowadays.  But...I can't help my love:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbRVMua0HUc

 

 

I think it helps that the mean guy with the wrench ends up being the same guy as the boss sitting at the head of the table...and the girl he wins over in the drawings is the girl sitting next to the boss, who gives a total "Pam" smile over the whole thing.

 

 

Also the guy kind of reminds me of Charlie Brewster.

 

Cute.  And I usually hate cute.

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SHE LICKED THE SANDWHICH!!!!!!

 

Also she calls her lunch friends her "taste buds" and yet another male friend who carries a purse and wears a button-down cardigan OVER A PULLOVER SWEATER...HOW FUCKING COLD ARE THAT TINY LITTLE MAN'S BONES??????

 

Also, all their cell phones appear to be just solar-powered calculators that they then added images to in post-production.

 

The thing is, there are two types of Wendy's lady commercials.

 

Type 1) is the kind where she accosts random strangers.  Deranged and committed.

Type 2) is where she is hanging out with her actual nondescript friends.  These I like better because we get little glimpses of her life and because I can compare myself favorably to the other males in her life.

 

This was a type 2..so Yeah...I think I'm down with it.

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"She hangs out with nerds ... I'm a nerd ... IT COULD HAPPEN, DAMMIT!"

 

 

My theory is that she's insulating herself by surrounding herself with weak, unthreatening males and creating a bland but secure environment made up of primary colors and lithe, high-end furnishings...perhaps to escape from some past trauma.

 

The problem is I'm not sure yet if I want to break her free of that and open her up to the brutal thrill of animalistic reality...or if I actually want to enter into her world and live there forever.

 

There is also the possibility that once I get there I will realize that it's something like a TWILIGHT ZONE ("It's a Good Life") thing where she is either actually holding all these people hostage in this world...or a semi-Matrixy thing where she is a sort of demon that traps you in a blissful langourous world of mental stasis while she feeds off your life force.

 

But, I'm kind of up for any of that, so...

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I'd like to cunt/dick punch the person who thought those sorts of haircuts on women were a good idea.  I prefer my women to not look like little boys.

 

The Abrevia commercial always gets a chuckle, because the hipster girl remarks on how no one notices her scar, but then I point out that it gives them more time to look at her godawful haircut that makes her look like she got into a fight with a Flowbee.

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Remember those Arby's commercials where they took shots at Subway for using pre-packaged meat, from far-flung places like Iowa? 

 

http://ispot.tv/a/7Y6y

 

Well, now they are advertising a "Smokehouse Brisket" sandwich, where they smoke the meat for 13 hours

 

http://youtu.be/WWg4eBLEotg

 

Maybe it is just my cynicism, but are most Arby's equipped to smoke meat for 13 hours onsite? 

 

I'm thinking no... they are just filling those sandwiches up with pre-packaged brisket. 

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"She hangs out with nerds ... I'm a nerd ... IT COULD HAPPEN, DAMMIT!"

 

 

My theory is that she's insulating herself by surrounding herself with weak, unthreatening males and creating a bland but secure environment made up of primary colors and lithe, high-end furnishings...perhaps to escape from some past trauma.

 

The problem is I'm not sure yet if I want to break her free of that and open her up to the brutal thrill of animalistic reality...or if I actually want to enter into her world and live there forever.

 

There is also the possibility that once I get there I will realize that it's something like a TWILIGHT ZONE ("It's a Good Life") thing where she is either actually holding all these people hostage in this world...or a semi-Matrixy thing where she is a sort of demon that traps you in a blissful langourous world of mental stasis while she feeds off your life force.

 

But, I'm kind of up for any of that, so...

 

 

I think you just blew my mind... 

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Remember those Arby's commercials where they took shots at Subway for using pre-packaged meat, from far-flung places like Iowa? 

 

http://ispot.tv/a/7Y6y

 

Well, now they are advertising a "Smokehouse Brisket" sandwich, where they smoke the meat for 13 hours

 

http://youtu.be/WWg4eBLEotg

 

Maybe it is just my cynicism, but are most Arby's equipped to smoke meat for 13 hours onsite? 

 

I'm thinking no... they are just filling those sandwiches up with pre-packaged brisket. 

 

Bo Dietl is going to go postal.

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Remember those Arby's commercials where they took shots at Subway for using pre-packaged meat, from far-flung places like Iowa? 

 

http://ispot.tv/a/7Y6y

 

Well, now they are advertising a "Smokehouse Brisket" sandwich, where they smoke the meat for 13 hours

 

http://youtu.be/WWg4eBLEotg

 

Maybe it is just my cynicism, but are most Arby's equipped to smoke meat for 13 hours onsite? 

 

I'm thinking no... they are just filling those sandwiches up with pre-packaged brisket. 

 

Bo Dietl is going to go postal.

 

 

I just saw this commercial. The first thing that comes to mind is "13 hours.....who gives a shit?". I not sure anyone is going to rank Arby's up there on the smoked and cured meats specialty list with their favorite local establishments.

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Remember those Arby's commercials where they took shots at Subway for using pre-packaged meat, from far-flung places like Iowa? 

 

http://ispot.tv/a/7Y6y

 

Well, now they are advertising a "Smokehouse Brisket" sandwich, where they smoke the meat for 13 hours

 

Maybe it is just my cynicism, but are most Arby's equipped to smoke meat for 13 hours onsite? 

 

I'm thinking no... they are just filling those sandwiches up with pre-packaged brisket. 

The first commercials complaint is just that Subway gets their meat pre sliced. The new commercial doesn't really contradict that and the new commercial even says freshly sliced in store. It was a ridiculous selling point in the first place. 

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