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The Awesome/Annoying TV COMMERCIAL Thread


piranesi

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People hate the AT&T 'It's not complicated' commercials?!

 

They are like the one commercial everyone in my family/friends agree are funny.  The guy is funny, the kids are funny.

 

THANK YOU!!! I was on an island around here defending them. 

 

Of course - then they rolled out the one that aired last night like 8 times during Impact where the kid tells the terrible joke and I was like "GOD DAMMIT!!! DON'T MAKE ME HATE YOU!!!!"

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People hate the AT&T 'It's not complicated' commercials?!

 

They are like the one commercial everyone in my family/friends agree are funny.  The guy is funny, the kids are funny.

 

Yeah, the "puppy brother" spot is gold just for the other girl whose mind has clearly been blown by the very idea.

 

Also like the Target "back to school" spots for the music being used.

 

http://youtu.be/8G1WxVeErx0

 

http://youtu.be/N7SrePBvDCI

 

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Camels are outstanding.

Kudos to Geico for giving them another chance after that whole penis-cigarette-poisoning-children thing.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

I don't recall, what was this about?

 

 

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People hate the AT&T 'It's not complicated' commercials?!

 

They are like the one commercial everyone in my family/friends agree are funny.  The guy is funny, the kids are funny.

 

THANK YOU!!! I was on an island around here defending them. 

 

Of course - then they rolled out the one that aired last night like 8 times during Impact where the kid tells the terrible joke and I was like "GOD DAMMIT!!! DON'T MAKE ME HATE YOU!!!!"

 

 

I also think they are pretty funny but the newer ones don't have that unscripted Kids Say The Damndest Shit vibe to them.

 

I love the Geico HUMP DAY~! commercial with the camel.  There is a poor bastard here at my office named Michael and it should not surprise you what everyone says to him on Wednesdays now.

 

"MIKEMIKEMIKEMIKEMIKE, GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS~?"

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I'd hate the RAV4 genie commercials if "I Wish" by Skee-Lo wasn't the theme music.

 

 

That is the good shit, yo.  I support anything that provides Skee-Lo with royalty loot.

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I guess maybe this goes here. I was looking for clips of Eileen Brennan on Youtube, and stumbled on a promo for the network premier of PRIVATE BENJAMIN.  It made me realize how awesome the old intro themes were for the old networks when they showed a movie. Before cable and video rights and Netflix, it was a big deal when a movie would show up on t.v. and the opening promos were weirdly a big part of a kid's life. NBC THURSDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES: PIRANHA

 

 

The music is this one is a little dull and feels a bit like the opening theme to a cruise ship variety show.  But the visuals are great.  Apparently NBC is able to deploy a globe-wide sort of firing chute through which it can blast letter-shaped fireworks across the galaxy.  The explosions at the base of the chute must be enormous and the cost in lives astonishing.  It all ends with the final launch of a world-destroying orb of flame that envelopes the atmosphere, destroying all life and simultaneously initiating a new planetary ecosystem powered by a single Tower of Babel made up of swirling lasers and producing  constant spew of sparks that ignite any would be attackers and provide the sustenance to a new sunless planet.     CBS SATURDAY NIGHT MOVIE: ROCKY II

 

The musical theme here is fantastic and could almost be mistaken for the CBS NFL on Sunday theme from back in the day what with the constant pulsing of like a trombone in the background.  It's all power and lightning bolts.  This one is a weird mixture of images.  It begins with a nifty cold open of the English language under attack by alien craft.  Each word is bombarded with a rainbow of photon blasts from the unseen invaders before, powered by defiance, they ignite in a fiery suicidal rage and surge toward the mothership, killing themselves but saving our ability to form words.  It is then that we realize that this battle is taking place in the psyche of a mute boy who witnessed a horrible crime.  The inner world of this mute boy is one inhabited mostly by giant film machinery, and we suddenly find ourselves careening into the mechanical nightmare of film processing.  Blinded by spotlights, sliced by editing machnes, and grinding through reels and gears, we are pulled into the pitiless eye of the all-seeing, all-telling camera.  Revelation!  The boy bursts out in the courtroom with the answer we have been waiting for:  "It was the projectionist!  It was the projectionist what done killed my family that night!!!!!"

 

 

 ABC  SUNDAY NIGHT MOVIE: STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KAHN

 

This one has the best music, but the least ambitious visuals.  The sonic buildup is tremendous...twirling trilling shuttering strings make it sound like an army of Yeti's is about to launch it's first nuclear strike against the damnable Sasquatches.  It is overwhelming.  Visually, the rhythms tie into the pulsations within an eternity tube into which we are being launched.  The color and star shapes indicate that the US military has developed this eternity tube, possibly in the hopes we might get a glimpse at distant alien ass.  No, wait.  They appear to be launching something into the nether reaches of the delta quadrant.  It's...our alphabet!  Soon we will be able to communicate in a rudimentary way with whatever horrible monsters exist beyond the domain of our Jesus.  Hold on something seems to be going wrong.  The eternity tube is pulling everything into it!!!! Three letters in and it is already preparing a response...a message from the higher power...the true nature of our existence revealed.  It is....and awesome dicso-themed movie marquee the size of seven hundred of our Suns!  We have our answer.  All the world is a stage!  And Donna Summer is the prophet!  

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They got to push the "don't drink/text" ads back later at night because they are venturing into a whole new territory of awkward. For the people that do that, it probably deters them from going out and doing that later that night. But as a teetotaler that doesn't text while on the road, I'm just waiting for one of those commercials to bring my evening to a halt. One dude is talking about bodies falling off the top of his vehicle. It's just too much for 8 p.m. central standard time.

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I came into this thread specifically to post this. It's entirely disturbing. Like, everything about it.

 

Thankfully I just realised that he says "Parkour Squirt" and not "Hardcore Squirt" because that was pretty nasty for a while there.

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I think the Mio ads are so bad that they're actually sublime, in their own acid-induced way. I mean shit, say what you want I remember what they're selling. At least a quarter of commercials on TV I don't even know what the pitch is until the logo comes up in the last 5 seconds.

 

Mio ads are seriously creepy though.

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I guess maybe this goes here. I was looking for clips of Eileen Brennan on Youtube, and stumbled on a promo for the network premier of PRIVATE BENJAMIN.  It made me realize how awesome the old intro themes were for the old networks when they showed a movie. Before cable and video rights and Netflix, it was a big deal when a movie would show up on t.v. and the opening promos were weirdly a big part of a kid's life.NBC THURSDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES: PIRANHA

 

 

The music is this one is a little dull and feels a bit like the opening theme to a cruise ship variety show.  But the visuals are great.  Apparently NBC is able to deploy a globe-wide sort of firing chute through which it can blast letter-shaped fireworks across the galaxy.  The explosions at the base of the chute must be enormous and the cost in lives astonishing.  It all ends with the final launch of a world-destroying orb of flame that envelopes the atmosphere, destroying all life and simultaneously initiating a new planetary ecosystem powered by a single Tower of Babel made up of swirling lasers and producing  constant spew of sparks that ignite any would be attackers and provide the sustenance to a new sunless planet.   CBS SATURDAY NIGHT MOVIE: ROCKY II

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SlKX6Dgp1o

The musical theme here is fantastic and could almost be mistaken for the CBS NFL on Sunday theme from back in the day what with the constant pulsing of like a trombone in the background.  It's all power and lightning bolts.  This one is a weird mixture of images.  It begins with a nifty cold open of the English language under attack by alien craft.  Each word is bombarded with a rainbow of photon blasts from the unseen invaders before, powered by defiance, they ignite in a fiery suicidal rage and surge toward the mothership, killing themselves but saving our ability to form words.  It is then that we realize that this battle is taking place in the psyche of a mute boy who witnessed a horrible crime. The inner world of this mute boy is one inhabited mostly by giant film machinery, and we suddenly find ourselves careening into the mechanical nightmare of film processing.  Blinded by spotlights, sliced by editing machnes, and grinding through reels and gears, we are pulled into the pitiless eye of the all-seeing, all-telling camera.  Revelation!  The boy bursts out in the courtroom with the answer we have been waiting for:  "It was the projectionist!  It was the projectionist what done killed my family that night!!!!!"

 

 

 ABC  SUNDAY NIGHT MOVIE: STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KAHN

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwQbkMxQqKA

This one has the best music, but the least ambitious visuals.  The sonic buildup is tremendous...twirling trilling shuttering strings make it sound like an army of Yeti's is about to launch it's first nuclear strike against the damnable Sasquatches.  It is overwhelming.  Visually, the rhythms tie into the pulsations within an eternity tube into which we are being launched.  The color and star shapes indicate that the US military has developed this eternity tube, possibly in the hopes we might get a glimpse at distant alien ass.  No, wait.  They appear to be launching something into the nether reaches of the delta quadrant.  It's...our alphabet!  Soon we will be able to communicate in a rudimentary way with whatever horrible monsters exist beyond the domain of our Jesus.  Hold on something seems to be going wrong.  The eternity tube is pulling everything into it!!!! Three letters in and it is already preparing a response...a message from the higher power...the true nature of our existence revealed.  It is....and awesome dicso-themed movie marquee the size of seven hundred of our Suns!  We have our answer.  All the world is a stage!  And Donna Summer is the prophet! 

 

The absolute classic of these? The HBO openings. Especially the extended ones

http://youtu.be/QK8huHlyMrc

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I guess maybe this goes here. I was looking for clips of Eileen Brennan on Youtube, and stumbled on a promo for the network premier of PRIVATE BENJAMIN.  It made me realize how awesome the old intro themes were for the old networks when they showed a movie. Before cable and video rights and Netflix, it was a big deal when a movie would show up on t.v. and the opening promos were weirdly a big part of a kid's life.NBC THURSDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES: PIRANHA

 

 

The music is this one is a little dull and feels a bit like the opening theme to a cruise ship variety show.  But the visuals are great.  Apparently NBC is able to deploy a globe-wide sort of firing chute through which it can blast letter-shaped fireworks across the galaxy.  The explosions at the base of the chute must be enormous and the cost in lives astonishing.  It all ends with the final launch of a world-destroying orb of flame that envelopes the atmosphere, destroying all life and simultaneously initiating a new planetary ecosystem powered by a single Tower of Babel made up of swirling lasers and producing  constant spew of sparks that ignite any would be attackers and provide the sustenance to a new sunless planet.   CBS SATURDAY NIGHT MOVIE: ROCKY II

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SlKX6Dgp1o

The musical theme here is fantastic and could almost be mistaken for the CBS NFL on Sunday theme from back in the day what with the constant pulsing of like a trombone in the background.  It's all power and lightning bolts.  This one is a weird mixture of images.  It begins with a nifty cold open of the English language under attack by alien craft.  Each word is bombarded with a rainbow of photon blasts from the unseen invaders before, powered by defiance, they ignite in a fiery suicidal rage and surge toward the mothership, killing themselves but saving our ability to form words.  It is then that we realize that this battle is taking place in the psyche of a mute boy who witnessed a horrible crime. The inner world of this mute boy is one inhabited mostly by giant film machinery, and we suddenly find ourselves careening into the mechanical nightmare of film processing.  Blinded by spotlights, sliced by editing machnes, and grinding through reels and gears, we are pulled into the pitiless eye of the all-seeing, all-telling camera.  Revelation!  The boy bursts out in the courtroom with the answer we have been waiting for:  "It was the projectionist!  It was the projectionist what done killed my family that night!!!!!"

 

 

 ABC  SUNDAY NIGHT MOVIE: STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KAHN

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwQbkMxQqKA

This one has the best music, but the least ambitious visuals.  The sonic buildup is tremendous...twirling trilling shuttering strings make it sound like an army of Yeti's is about to launch it's first nuclear strike against the damnable Sasquatches.  It is overwhelming.  Visually, the rhythms tie into the pulsations within an eternity tube into which we are being launched.  The color and star shapes indicate that the US military has developed this eternity tube, possibly in the hopes we might get a glimpse at distant alien ass.  No, wait.  They appear to be launching something into the nether reaches of the delta quadrant.  It's...our alphabet!  Soon we will be able to communicate in a rudimentary way with whatever horrible monsters exist beyond the domain of our Jesus.  Hold on something seems to be going wrong.  The eternity tube is pulling everything into it!!!! Three letters in and it is already preparing a response...a message from the higher power...the true nature of our existence revealed.  It is....and awesome dicso-themed movie marquee the size of seven hundred of our Suns!  We have our answer.  All the world is a stage!  And Donna Summer is the prophet! 

 

The absolute classic of these? The HBO openings. Especially the extended ones

http://youtu.be/QK8huHlyMrc

 

 

FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU! Who's next?

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