Thomas Bugg Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 Now I'll preface this post by saying that I've no room to talk, as during my time as a play-by-play guy in small indies I wasn't exactly Solie. But at least only the local crowds, and maybe some obscure Youtube or Facebook videos, were witness to my botchery. I couldn't stand watching ROH on HDNet sometimes because of horrible commentary- Prazak was what he was, either you liked him or hated him, no in-between. But that Hog guy or whatever the fuck sounded like JR's mentally challenged cousin. And then I just watched the Cruiserweight Collection on the WWE Network and one of the matches featured was a three way ladder match between the Jung Dragons, 3 Count and Karagias/Knoble from Starrcade 2000. I never watched the PPV before and the fact that it was under Russo's shitty regime only made me more hesitant to watch it, but Meltzer gave this match 4 stars or whatever so I thought I'd check it out. I couldn't make it past the first three minutes of the match. You just know Tony Schiavone had to be thinking, "How in the fuck did I go from Jim Ross, Bob Caudle, Heenan and Tenay to these douchebags??" And not saying that Schiavone was an all time great- he was good whenever he didn't have idiots producing him- but Stevie Ray and Mark Madden? Seriously? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zev Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 WCW 2000 in its entirety loses half a snowflake due to the phrase "snoochie boochies". WWF Light Heavyweight Division suffered via Lawler doing nothing but put over Brian Cristopher, regardless of who was actually in the ring. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sublime Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 Heel Michael Cole made great matches good, good matches average, average matches bad, and bad matches unwatchable. Actually no he made anything that wasn't a great match unwatchable and even then it was hard to listen to the commentary without stabbing your eardrums. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 any undercard wcw matches from '96-97. when all of the focus is on Hogan, all night, and the commentators barely mention the competitors in the ring, it just sours the whole deal. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 Few years ago I went to an FWE show in Brooklyn that had a trios match with the Young Bucks/Petey Williams vs Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Jay Lethal. Live it was a super match with a hot crowd and all six guys clicking nicely... but rewatching it awhile back, you had Michael Schiavello on commentary with all sorts of THIS IS THE GREATEST MATCH IN PRO WRESTLING HISTORY~! nonsense. It was horrific. EDIT: said match. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwoy2j Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 34 minutes ago, Sublime said: Heel Michael Cole made great matches good, good matches average, average matches bad, and bad matches unwatchable. Actually no he made anything that wasn't a great match unwatchable and even then it was hard to listen to the commentary without stabbing your eardrums. That was the only time in my 30+ years of fandom that I actively didn't watch wrestling. I've sat through Ultimate Warrior puking, Hulk Hogan bringing all of his 80s WWF cronies into my beloved WCW, Triple H screwing a mannequin's fake brains out and Mark Henry sleeping with his sister and Mae Young but I could not stand Michael Cole calling everyone nerds, fighting Jerry Lawler and basically voicing Vince's opinion that anyone who watches his show is a fucking moron. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwoy2j Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 41 minutes ago, zev said: WCW 2000 in its entirety loses half a snowflake due to the phrase "snoochie boochies". WWF Light Heavyweight Division suffered via Lawler doing nothing but put over Brian Cristopher, regardless of who was actually in the ring. Tony Schiavone from that period reminded me of one of those piano bar musicians on a cruise ship. On the outside he's happy and looks like he's having a good time b/c he's making money but you know he's so dead inside that he beats hookers or cuts himself to escape the pain of playing "Sweet Caroline" 7 days a week. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sublime Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 6 minutes ago, cwoy2j said: That was the only time in my 30+ years of fandom that I actively didn't watch wrestling. I've sat through Ultimate Warrior puking, Hulk Hogan bringing all of his 80s WWF cronies into my beloved WCW, Triple H screwing a mannequin's fake brains out and Mark Henry sleeping with his sister and Mae Young but I could not stand Michael Cole calling everyone nerds, fighting Jerry Lawler and basically voicing Vince's opinion that anyone who watches his show is a fucking moron. Same for me in my 25 years of watching this (pretend) sport of kings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 1 hour ago, zev said: WCW 2000 in its entirety loses half a snowflake due to the phrase "snoochie boochies". WWF Light Heavyweight Division suffered via Lawler doing nothing but put over Brian Cristopher, regardless of who was actually in the ring. I dunno there's that great part in the TAKA-Pantera match where it's Lawler and Too Sexy on commentary and the camera keeps doing side-by-side shots of them to emphasize the similarity and JR is just not having any of this "I'm not Jerry's kid" bullshit and keeps calling them on it. Then Christopher (Or it could be Lawler) gets carried away, calls TAKA a "Jap" at which point you can hear the air sucked out of the room, followed by JR saying something like "Gentlmen, a little decorum" and you can just SEE Christopher's chance at winning the Light Heavyweight title go out the window. Also, the match is pretty swank with Pantera busting out a dive through the turnbuckles. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomAct Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 The answer is "all of Lucha Underground or TNA impact". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPPA Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 28 minutes ago, RandomAct said: The answer is "all of Lucha Underground or TNA impact". Well it's more "every match ever called by Matt Stryker or Josh Matthews" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tromatagon Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 I had the best idea of how to fix LU commentary Switch Striker for Juvy. Just Juvy and Vampiro bullshitting every match. Make it so 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hail Sabin Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 They should bring back the guy who called Ultima Lucha 1 with Striker 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Iron Yuppie Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 La Parka and Silver King vs. Damian and Ciclope in a Mexican Deathmatch on Nitro in the summer of '99. Schiavone and Heenan completely shit all over what was a fun match, wildly different from anything either promotion was doing at the time. Having heard Schiavone in interviews over recent years, I get the sense someone was in his earpiece telling him to crap on this, and I'm guessing Brain was probably 4 or 5 scotches in by this point in the night. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RRR Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 41 minutes ago, RIPPA said: Well it's more "every match ever called by Matt Stryker or Josh Matthews" Pope sucks too. The only person in pro wrestling who might use the word daddy more then Bill Alfonso. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomAct Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 I know some rats that would give him a run for his money in the "saying daddy" department. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 The first Hardy Boys vs Edge & Christian Ladder match was ruined by Lawler constantly drooling over Terri (and mentioning that he interviewed her while she was on a ladder and he could totally see up her skirt every 30 seconds). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nice Guy Eddie Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 3 hours ago, cwoy2j said: On the outside he's happy and looks like he's having a good time b/c he's making money but you know he's so dead inside that he beats hookers or cuts himself to escape the pain of playing "Sweet Caroline" 7 days a week. I love this line so much. Totally made my day. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HumanChessgame Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 2 hours ago, RandomAct said: The answer is "all of Lucha Underground or TNA impact". I watched the first season of LU on Univision where it aired in Spanish with no subtitles. Honestly, it was better that way in a lot of respects. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Bugg Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 4 hours ago, Pete said: Few years ago I went to an FWE show in Brooklyn that had a trios match with the Young Bucks/Petey Williams vs Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Jay Lethal. Live it was a super match with a hot crowd and all six guys clicking nicely... but rewatching it awhile back, you had Michael Schiavello on commentary with all sorts of THIS IS THE GREATEST MATCH IN PRO WRESTLING HISTORY~! nonsense. It was horrific. Speaking of New York feds I remember watching Low Ki take on (I believe) Ricochet on a match that was posted to Youtube- only it was HOG. I hope the fans in Queens liked the match because I couldn't watch it past 4 minutes. Not only was the commentary the shits, but HOG has the worst camera crew I've ever seen, and in the indies that covers a lot of ground. I hoped they fired that entire crew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I've come around to Striker more than when I started though he can still be really bad. Suggesting Killshot's opponent has PTSD seems like making light of a serious issue. When he starts making biblical allusions, it's so bad. So, so bad. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Bugg Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 2 hours ago, RIPPA said: Well it's more "every match ever called by Matt Stryker or Josh Matthews" Striker I can tolerate. Matthews makes me wish for temporary deafness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nofuture Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 You could probably add tonight's whole Lucha Underground episode with Vampiro progressively "getting off" during each match. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt McGirt Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Missy Hyatt made one of those Japanese Hardcore Wrestling DVDs with a match as awesome as Honma/Abby Jr. unwatchable. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T. Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 2 hours ago, Curt McGirt said: Missy Hyatt made one of those Japanese Hardcore Wrestling DVDs with a match as awesome as Honma/Abby Jr. unwatchable. I cannot watch my FMW tapes from Tokyo Pop without turning the volume all the way down. The two dudes on commentary blow goats. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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