Tips on tipping?

[OSJ]

As a former bartender, cook, restaurant manager, etc., I'm a pretty good tipper. Far more galling to me is the expectation that I'm going to drop $50-$75 on a nice wine with dinner. Neither my wife or I drink any longer (been almost thirty years), so we used to get the stinkeye in nice places by not ordering pre-dinner drinks or a bottle or two of wine. I solved the problem a long time ago by immediately asking our server what sort of non-alcoholic wines were available. This shows that yes, I have a palate, and I'm not a cheapskate, I'm someone who doesn't enjoy alcohol and wants a great dinner experience. I'll usually ask how much the non-alcoholic wine is and feign surprise at how "reasonable" the price is (whether it is or isn't is irrelevant), ala "Very reasonable, more tip for you!" 

[Technico Support]

 @OSJWine pricing is crazy since the rule of thumb is "charge as much for a glass as you paid for the bottle."

I thought wine might have the most insane markup so I Googled this cool article I read a while back.  Apparently, mixed drinks made with rail liquor have the worst markup, with draft beer a distant second.  The bar right near my job charges over $6 for a draft served in a phony-ass non-pint pint glass in off hours.  Ridiculous.

Tipping bartenders per-drink just sucks, btw.  I can see tipping on a mixed drink but a dollar for taking the cap off a beer?  Sheeeeeit.

[OSJ]

@Technico Support

Six bucks for a fucking beer? I'm glad I quit. ;-) 

I recall back in the day our rail booze would average six bucks a fifth. Obviously, we saved more with half-gallons of the real basics. Average cost per drink $2.00, number of shots in a fifth (if you're not short-pouring) fifteen to seventeen. Profit = $24.00 per fifth minimum. And these places paid the bartender/bouncer (me) $5.00 to $7.50 an hour to pour dozens of drinks and toss out random assholes. Yeah, I earned my fucking tips.

[Just Dave]

Former server/bartender too. I grossly overtip, even if the service is bad, unless the server is an asshole. I can't tell you how many times my tip went down because some dipshit on the grill overcooked my steak and had to start over. I've been there and it sucks. I probably overtip the lady that cuts my hair because she holds sharp instruments to my neck. Pays to be nice to her. Bartenders are tricky. I won't overtip much on bottled or pre-made drinks, but if you have to bust out a jigger or muddler, or pour me a draft, then i'll hook you up, especially if its busy. 

[Tabe]

On 10/18/2016 at 2:31 PM, elizium said:

Never mind 

[PetrolCB]

I tip well to places I frequent. Doing so has garnered me rapid delivery when they're usually busy, delivery drivers telling me they actually fight over who comes to my house, and a comped meal or two when I dine in. 

My theory has always been:

If you get good service, you tip well. If you tip well, you get good service. 

I've never had an issue with local places using this theory. 

[Jerome Miller]

I dunno, I've never really tipped well with takeout places.  I guess I'm lucky that I usually get takeout from Denny's/IHOP/Waffle House, etc. and they rotate through servers so frequently that I can never build a reputation.

I did recently tip an Applebee's bartender $0.25 after I asked for the check and it took him 10 minutes and then another five to process my credit card.   It was 3:00 PM, and the place was empty so it wasn't like he was swamped with customers.  "Service acknowledged but not appreciated."

[Lamp, broken circa 1988]

Because i am a mutant it goes like this when it comes to tipping: the less you try to be my friend, the more I am going to tip you

Example 1: pizza guy shows up at my house, tells me "oh yeah I've been out here before, I remember this house, what's happening dawg". Silent treatment, 5% tip, never calling that place again.

Example 2: I frequent one particular mexican restaurant for lunch dates with friends. It's family owned. The primary owner recognizes me because I hang out there a lot, but he just comes up to make sure I'm waiting for someone and not a table. When we're eating, they top off water and ask once if everything's good. I tend to tip this place 100-120%.

I don't want to be a regular, anywhere, ever. I would really prefer to be acknowledged as little as possible. Respected and left alone. The honest root of this is when I'm going out I'm with people, and when I'm alone and ordering food it's probably because I'm working on music or something. Either way my mind is already spinning way too fast and adding in overly familiar shit is, for me, like those videos of people throwing cinder blocks into washing machines.

So I guess my advice is no matter what, if someone is doing a job you're not willing to do, at least be kind and tip if it's something shitty that has them on their feet all day.

[OSJ]

 

Okay, one constant in this thread puzzles the crap out of me, and that is the discussion of "take out" from what sound to be reasonably nice dining establishments. Exactly what the fuck is the point of ordering good food at a nice place and then schlepping it home to get cold? Is this a generational thing that I'm just not getting? We're in a small town so decent food and decent places are sort of at a premium. I'll give a shout out to the Rocket Cafe, which apparently is just fine with take-out orders, but I'd never, ever order take out. They make a garlic pasta that with an Italian sausage added is to die for, but what's the point of having them wrap it up so we can drive ten minutes home to have dinner? Either one of us is quite capable of making garlic pasta that would make Mario Batalli cum in his shorts, but we also like the idea of going out to eat...

The only sit-down place that I regularly got take-out from was the Malay Satay Hut in Seattle, reason being we usually had a car full of groceries and a long drive to Lake City. Oh yeah, always tipped and ate there enough as a sit-down diner to be a "regular". Same story next door at the Wong Tung Seafood Mkt. when a guy has to take the trouble to catch a live King Crab for you, give the man a tip. (Note: If you can afford King or Dungeness, you can afford to tip. I'm talking real crabs here, folks; not that minuscule shit you guys on the Least Coast call crab, in the Great Northwest we use that shit for bait. ;-)

 

[Sublime]

I imagine that the take out from nicer places might have to do with not wanting to wait or be around a crowded restaurant in larger places. But I'm like OSJ, live in a smaller town without a lot of great options, we hardly ever get non-pizza takeout unless it's because we're busy and have to work through lunch or because our daughter wants applebees and we don't want to go sit down there. We can make food better than most of the places in town also so home cooked > most of the restaurants here.

As far as tipping goes I'm generally around 20% for dine in, takeout is usually less but if its really busy and I'm distracting them they get more, pizza delivery try for 5 if I have it on me, at least 3, will not order delivery without checking if I have enough to tip the driver first.

I have left no tip once at an IHOP when the server was the worst I have ever experienced or seen, at one point I thought he was going to try to fight me.

[Kevin Wilson]

1 hour ago, OSJ said:

 

Okay, one constant in this thread puzzles the crap out of me, and that is the discussion of "take out" from what sound to be reasonably nice dining establishments. Exactly what the fuck is the point of ordering good food at a nice place and then schlepping it home to get cold? Is this a generational thing that I'm just not getting? We're in a small town so decent food and decent places are sort of at a premium. I'll give a shout out to the Rocket Cafe, which apparently is just fine with take-out orders, but I'd never, ever order take out. They make a garlic pasta that with an Italian sausage added is to die for, but what's the point of having them wrap it up so we can drive ten minutes home to have dinner? Either one of us is quite capable of making garlic pasta that would make Mario Batalli cum in his shorts, but we also like the idea of going out to eat...

The only sit-down place that I regularly got take-out from was the Malay Satay Hut in Seattle, reason being we usually had a car full of groceries and a long drive to Lake City. Oh yeah, always tipped and ate there enough as a sit-down diner to be a "regular". Same story next door at the Wong Tung Seafood Mkt. when a guy has to take the trouble to catch a live King Crab for you, give the man a tip. (Note: If you can afford King or Dungeness, you can afford to tip. I'm talking real crabs here, folks; not that minuscule shit you guys on the Least Coast call crab, in the Great Northwest we use that shit for bait. ;-)

 

I don't personally do it but there could be a few reasons. It is cheaper, for one, since even if you tip its likely less than if you sat down and you likely can drink cheaper at home (plus less temptation to get appitizers, desserts, etc). I used to do takeout from restaurants for an elderly woman I helped, it was a lot of hassle for her to get out of the house due to her health but she still wanted the food, so takeout was the best option.

As long as it isn't too far away, the food shouldn't be cold. I live in a bigger city so there are a lot of restaurants within five miles of me, I think as long as you're home within ten minutes and it was put in something that would keep it warm, you should be ok. I mean I have pizza and chinese delivered and its always still hot when it gets here. I do agree that its preferable to sit down in the restaurant to get it as fresh as possible, but I assume people that do takeout have some reason or another.

[Michael Sweetser]

I go with the Eddy Guerrero rule.  20%, going higher if it's good service. 

I try to tip generously unless the service is absolutely atrocious - it takes borderline psychotic behavior to get me to leave nothing, but it's happened a few times.

[Matt D]

@OSJ

First, if we're talking a really or even "really quite" nice place, I see what you're saying. In general, if I'm going to be getting a steak, it will not be take out.

For us, it's a little more like this.

It's Thursday night. We've planned meals out for much of the week. We've eaten those meals. The leftovers from those meals aren't sufficient for everyone or aren't anything we can tolerate again. Something unexpected has happened during the week to throw off our plans, because something unexpected happens EVERY week. It's 7 pm. One kid made it through his after school activities (we'll say stage crew), was picked up, dropped off, and kids were switched at the house by my wife who took kid #2 (ten years younger) to her activity (we'll say dance). I beat them home having been out of the house from 6:10 AM to ~6:10 PM. They're due in at 6:30 PM. Wife and Kid #2 get home, Kid #2 is shuffled out of dance clothes, into regular clothes, and we realize that there is no meal plan or that whatever we had isn't sufficient. Then the fifteen minute back and forth of what to eat happens.

At this stage of the game, we're exhausted from our respective days. Kid #1 likely still has homework he's working on due to said after school activity. Kid #2 is in dire need of a bath from her activity. There's no way we're mobilizing the road show a couple of hours before bedtime. It makes a hell of a lot more sense for me to call a place up, listen to 10-20 minutes of Kris and Bix talk about what happened in SMW in some random week in 1995 on my phone's speakers in the car, pick up some food, and figure out if I'm giving the guy at the counter/bar/take out area 2 dollars or 3 dollars. 

Fast food isn't an option for us (or at least not for me) and sometimes we shoot slightly higher than straight counter service (whether that's a local chinese place or the local pizza/burger place or some chain place depends on lots of factors). 

But yeah, not doing it with a steak.

[offspring515]

During my college days my cousin, two of our mutual friends and I would meet up for lunch every Wednesday somewhere off campus.

One of those friends didn't believe in tipping. "Why should I pay you extra for doing your job?" Of course we explained to him that waiters don't make shit and count on tipping for the vast majority of their pay. "Oh well, not my problem."

It really made me dislike the guy because he was such a dick about it.  Nice guy in most other ways but really weird on the tipping issue.

So of course the rest of us would feel compelled to over tip to make up for him.  

The funny part is that after school he moved back home and delivered pizzas for a bit.  I fell out of touch with him but he told my cousin he now tips 40% standard because "Now I know what its like when people stiff you."

[cwoy2j]

On 10/20/2016 at 1:03 PM, Michael Sweetser said:

I go with the Eddy Guerrero rule.  20%, going higher if it's good service. 

I try to tip generously unless the service is absolutely atrocious - it takes borderline psychotic behavior to get me to leave nothing, but it's happened a few times.

This. I'm a 20% guy unless I get truly awful service. And like you said, it absolutely does happen. And it's goes beyond the, "oh he/she is having a bad day". I get that. I used to bus tables, be a waiter and host at a Chi-Chi's so I know that sometimes you feel like shit and don't give your best. But I've had plenty of instances where the server is just flat out rude or just incompetent to the point where you wonder if their mother drank while pregnant.

[Dog]

How do servers feel about change in their tips? I tend to calculate the 15% and then round up to the next dollar, since I know I personally wouldn't want to deal with a bunch of coins rattling around after a shift.

Has anyone had servers take out BIGGER tips than what you left? I tend not to use cash much, and just add the tip when paying with my card. One time a check ended up costing $20 more than it should have been, but I didn't notice it in my statement until months later, so there wasn't much I could do. Another time it was just a couple bucks and I didn't feel like fighting about it.

It's made me afraid of undetipping or not tipping, even for the worst service. If this guy's already a jerk, who's to say he won't make me pay either way?

[Marty Sugar]

1 hour ago, Dog said:

How do servers feel about change in their tips? I tend to calculate the 15% and then round up to the next dollar, since I know I personally wouldn't want to deal with a bunch of coins rattling around after a shift.

Has anyone had servers take out BIGGER tips than what you left? I tend not to use cash much, and just add the tip when paying with my card. One time a check ended up costing $20 more than it should have been, but I didn't notice it in my statement until months later, so there wasn't much I could do. Another time it was just a couple bucks and I didn't feel like fighting about it.

It's made me afraid of undetipping or not tipping, even for the worst service. If this guy's already a jerk, who's to say he won't make me pay either way?

Anyone adding to your tip when you pay with a card, after the fact is committing petty theft at the least, but probably more like actual fraud. Unacceptable for a server to do that.

[Dog]

Certainly, but I'm curious if it's happened to anyone else. Maybe I'm unlucky or maybe *I'm* more of a jerk than I realize.

[Cristobal]

The only time I've ever been curious about something like that was when there was like a $6 tip on a $15 pizza order, which is more generous than I tend to be (I'd usually round up to $20 there,) but I know I was pretty drunk when I made that order, so I let it be.

[gatling]

5 hours ago, Dog said:

How do servers feel about change in their tips? I tend to calculate the 15% and then round up to the next dollar, since I know I personally wouldn't want to deal with a bunch of coins rattling around after a shift.

Has anyone had servers take out BIGGER tips than what you left? I tend not to use cash much, and just add the tip when paying with my card. One time a check ended up costing $20 more than it should have been, but I didn't notice it in my statement until months later, so there wasn't much I could do. Another time it was just a couple bucks and I didn't feel like fighting about it.

It's made me afraid of undetipping or not tipping, even for the worst service. If this guy's already a jerk, who's to say he won't make me pay either way?

There is a small Mexican restaurant chain where I live that basically everyone knows to only pay cash at.  There were servers at multiple locations punching in higher tip amounts, enough that it didn't seem like a coincidence.  They weren't going crazy, just a buck or two at a time, small enough that people who don't reconcile their bank statements or match credit card charges to receipts didn't notice.  Being a small town with a community message board site, one person posted something about getting overcharged and more people started looking into it and seeing they were too.  The food is really good though, so even people who were overcharged would say "I'll just pay cash next time".

[Jenalysis]

On 11/1/2016 at 9:46 AM, Dog said:

How do servers feel about change in their tips? I tend to calculate the 15% and then round up to the next dollar, since I know I personally wouldn't want to deal with a bunch of coins rattling around after a shift.

Has anyone had servers take out BIGGER tips than what you left? I tend not to use cash much, and just add the tip when paying with my card. One time a check ended up costing $20 more than it should have been, but I didn't notice it in my statement until months later, so there wasn't much I could do. Another time it was just a couple bucks and I didn't feel like fighting about it.

It's made me afraid of undetipping or not tipping, even for the worst service. If this guy's already a jerk, who's to say he won't make me pay either way?

This is why any place with tipping I go to- I only pay with cash.   I don't trust tip places to touch my card.

That said- my standard tipping is $1 for buffets, $2 for sitdown (for myself, and assuming a bill around $10)

[Zimbra]

On 11/1/2016 at 2:52 PM, gatling said:

There is a small Mexican restaurant chain where I live that basically everyone knows to only pay cash at.  There were servers at multiple locations punching in higher tip amounts, enough that it didn't seem like a coincidence.  They weren't going crazy, just a buck or two at a time, small enough that people who don't reconcile their bank statements or match credit card charges to receipts didn't notice.  Being a small town with a community message board site, one person posted something about getting overcharged and more people started looking into it and seeing they were too.  The food is really good though, so even people who were overcharged would say "I'll just pay cash next time".

Oh yeah, the only Chinese place that will deliver to us is suuuuuper janky.  I used to use my card when ordering until I realized that the old lady who answers the phone was just writing the card number down on a menu that she stapled to our bag of food.  So it's cash only now.

I also tried to order off their website once and both Chrome and my antivirus said "Don't give this site your credit card number you fucking moron," or words to that effect.

[Neil Koch]

On ‎11‎/‎1‎/‎2016 at 8:46 AM, Dog said:

How do servers feel about change in their tips? I tend to calculate the 15% and then round up to the next dollar, since I know I personally wouldn't want to deal with a bunch of coins rattling around after a shift.

Has anyone had servers take out BIGGER tips than what you left? I tend not to use cash much, and just add the tip when paying with my card. One time a check ended up costing $20 more than it should have been, but I didn't notice it in my statement until months later, so there wasn't much I could do. Another time it was just a couple bucks and I didn't feel like fighting about it.

It's made me afraid of undetipping or not tipping, even for the worst service. If this guy's already a jerk, who's to say he won't make me pay either way?

Happened to me at Rock and Brews in LAX while on vacation.  Was checking my debit card a couple of days later and noticed an extra $10 put on.  I usually tip about 20% since my mom was a bartender, but I didn't leave a tip because both the food and service were horrible, even by airport restaurant standards.  It took me a couple of weeks going through email, Facebook, Twitter and Yelp before I got my money back.  Actually the worst part were the comments on the FB review I wrote, so many mouth breathing KISS fans that would lick Gene Simmons toupee calling me all sorts of wonderful names for basically reporting theft.  Some even called me cheap, which just boggled me.

I'll still use my card for tips, but I look at my debit card a lot more closely now.  But I heard that most servers/bartenders prefer cash since they get it right away and it isn't taxed.

[Technico Support]

Gene Simmons is such a money-grubbing sleazebag, I wouldn't be surprised if ripping off customers for tips wasn't in the employee manual.

[J.T.]

On 10/20/2016 at 10:48 AM, OSJ said:

Okay, one constant in this thread puzzles the crap out of me, and that is the discussion of "take out" from what sound to be reasonably nice dining establishments. Exactly what the fuck is the point of ordering good food at a nice place and then schlepping it home to get cold? Is this a generational thing that I'm just not getting?

Most of the time when I order take out from a restaurant, it is usually Friday Night dinner & movie time at my crib.  I order out, pick it up, we spread everything out on the floor of the loft and me, my significant other, and my kid watch whatever we unanimously voted for from the Redbox machine.  It is a new tradition for our fairly new home..

Other than that, you are quite correct.  The whole point of eating out is to enjoy the atmosphere of the restaurant so we usually dine in.