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Jurassic World - 2015


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You guys wouldn't go to a dinosaur theme park (with the knowledge that MAYBE something MAY go wrong)?

 

Jurassic Park was the movie for me as a kid and this seems more like the first one than either of the other sequels. Plus, Chris Pratt is fantastic. I have high hopes. Countering that, the giant crocodile thing looks straight out of SyFy. Perhaps the raptors are running past Pratt's character because they're being chased? *Shrug* Fuggit, raptor minions are the best type of minions.

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Honestly, after the incidents of the last two movies, I can't imagine why people would go to this movie.  People are stupid I guess.

FTFY.

 

 

Or you could judge it yourself.

 

The anti-intellectual crusade in America continues apace.

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Well no, you pick a reviewer who agrees with you on certain movies and then trust them.  Roger Ebert dying has left a GIGANTIC* hole in the reviewing business that lesser reviewers are gimmicking furiously to fill

 

IMDB ratings are worse than Rotten Tomatoes.  At least the RT people are professionals.

 

*not a fat joke.

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both sequels are classified as Rotten films on RT

I didn't love either sequel but I'm not sure why we should care about what critics think of some popcorn action.

 

 

It's fine to disagree with critics and all, but I was more using it to signify that weren't the second and third films received as bad films?  

 

I mean Jurassic Park 3 had a huge opening weekend and then dropped like a rock in its second weekend as I recall.

 

I even expect this movie to do fairly well because its Jurassic Park and dinosaurs, and that tends to attract the kids each time out.  

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And professionals don't feel pressure from their bosses to appease advertisers? Professional reviewers are often awful and I give the large majority of them no weight at all.

There are so many professional reviewers out there that it takes all the fun out of discovering movies.

 

The worst part is you can tell them a mile away.

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You guys know I'm a pretty good movie critic.  But I've stopped writing reviews.  Why bother?  There's, like, thousands of pretty good movie critics out there now.  It's the one job which is somehow even more supersaturated with talented people and nobody hiring than "professional wrestling announcer".  

 

Based on the footage: who cares if the setup premise is dumb?  The setup premise to practically all speculative fiction is dumb.  Don't bitch about how we got here.  Just wait and see if the ride is worth it.  

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Guest The Magnificent 7

 

Besides the "How the fuck did anyone legally greenlight that park after the shit that happened in the first 3 movies?"...

 

It's a private island, isn't it?  Their island, they can do what they want with it.

 

Bunch of Walter Safety's in this country these days.  Ths old bat just wrote in the paper demanding bicyclists should be legally required to wear helmets and reflective vests and shit while riding a bike. 

 

If they opened this park for real I'm fucking there.  And I don't want to roll around in a glass ball.  I want to saddle up on these fucking dinosaurs. 

BVtqw.jpg

 

YOU CAN GET KILLED WALKING YOUR DOGGIE!

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Looked nothing like a megalodon.  Looked more like some kind of giant prehistoric crocodile.

 

Looked like this really:

 

Tylosaurus-Jurassic-Park.jpg

Gotta be honest, my main problem with the trailer was actually that unless this island is fucking Australia, there is no way in Sam hell they were able to build a salt water lake large enough for this thing to live in, let alone enough food to sustain it.

For the record, I'd actually assume that's a Kronosaurus. Yes, I was a Dinosaur obsessed child, why do you ask?

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FSW, from beyond the grave, wants everyone to know that it is in fact a Mosasaurus and not a Kronosaurus.

The fact it took this long for aquatic based Animals to show up in the series is just ridiculous.

Plesiosaurs are boring.

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  • 6 months later...

Saw this today, thought it was ok, Pratt has established himself as a star without a doubt. D'Onofrio is also very good in this. Some of the dialogue is a bit sketchy but the last 20 or so minutes are action packed and awesome.

7/10

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Saw the first JP, skipped the second and third ones.  If I wasn't watching this in theatres I might have a different opinion of it.  But a Friday night with a packed room and all are into it, it's hard not to get sucked in.  Loved the callbacks to the first JP, and the ending fight was a cool spectacle.  A fun popcorn flick.

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I'd rank them 1, 4, 2, 3.  

 

This was a lot of fun and were it not for Chris Pratt, it could have been awful.  

 

I liked BD Wong returning, going full heel, and explaining away 20+ years of nerd criticisms with one line too. 

 

There's more than a little to be said about the death of the feminist arc of the first movie, but whatever. 

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FSW, from beyond the grave, wants everyone to know that it is in fact a Mosasaurus and not a Kronosaurus.

The fact it took this long for aquatic based Animals to show up in the series is just ridiculous.

 

No, it's not.  It made total sense that there were no aquatic dinos up to this point.  How did they harvest dino DNA in the first place, man?   Mosquitos don't tread water very well..

 

I went to see this with my kid on Saturday.  It was fun for what it was and there was much enjoyment in people getting eaten by giant lizards.  The mock Godzilla battle at the end was bonkers.

 

I am not sure how many more ways you can repackage this and still make a profit, but there could be a fun sequel with Chris Pratt as the Sir Nayland Smith out to thwart the unethical machinations of BD Wong's Fu Manchu as NGen becomes Blackwater with Dinosaurs and tries to produce and sell biological WMD's.

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I enjoyed it.

 

Nowhere near as much as Jurassic Park but that's partly nostalgia talking because 22 years later that remains one of the darndest damn things I ever saw in the cinema and was my favourite film for, I dunno, 2 years until my hyper child mind got distracted by Keyser Soze.

 

You know who showing up was great and, yeah, Pratt has a bunch of charisma. The 'I was in the Navy not the Navajo' line got a decent laugh. I could totally buy him as a new Indiana Jones.

 

It didn't have the fantastic little Spielberg touches (water rippling in the glass, obviously) but it was what it was.

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Yeah, this was a boatload of fun and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The climax was so ridiculous and was just missing a t-rex/raptor high five (made all the more hilarious by T-rex arms!).

 

I can totally see what they were going for with each of the characters and their growth throughout the film but it just wasn't nearly as well developed as the human elements of JP. The comedic relief was too inconsistent and I feel like Pratt's character could have been way funnier without losing the fact that he's basically a dino-riding bad ass. 

 

Also, the article on grantland ripping this apart for being pastiche is awful because almost every blockbuster (what? 90% of films made these days?) is cheap pastiche made up of previous successful movies to get a cheap dollar.

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