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Games of Thrones Unsullied thread

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Rewatching the show to get ready for the new season, and... I really like the scenes of people reminiscing about Greyjoy's Rebellion (Jaime and Ned's assistant Jory in season one, Barristan and Jorah Mormont in season 3). If there's any way we can have, say, Blackfish and Thoros meet up and also discuss it, that would be awesome. It really underlines that, for people in Westeros it's the safe war to discuss, unlike Robert's Rebellion (like in the real world it's safe to talk about WW2 becuse everyone considers it just, but not safe to talk about Vietnam). It also underlines that however much of an idiot Theon is, his Dad was always stupider, thinking he could fight all seven kingdoms by himself and win. If anyone could do some fan art of King Robert's command tent before the storming of Pyke, you've got a less fat Robert Baratheon, Stannis, Jaime and Barristan of the Kingsguard, Tywin with the Mountain, Ned Stark with the Lords of the North (including both Mormonts maybe*), Robert Arryn from the Vale, Hoster and Blackfish Tully, and probably some Tyrells and Dornishmen too. The Greyjoys were FUCKED. * The guy who was Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, who was killed at Craster's Keep last season? He was Sir Friendzone's Dad. NOT A SPOILER.

This is true, but I think you are down playing how fucked the realm was at that point.  It wasn't long after Robert's Rebellion and there were still a lot of bad blood and alliances between the Seven Kingdoms were strained to say the least.  Remember that the Tyrells and Martells fought against Robert in his rebellion and while they bent the knee they weren't exactly friends.   The Greyjoys aren't exactly the types to take land and rule it, they are basically raiders who attack, rape, pillage, and go back to the Iron Islands.  Balon rebelled against the crown, and while he lost the fight he didn't really lose that much.  He lost two sons in battle and another one as a ward to Ned Stark.  The commanders of Balon's Rebellion, Balon and his brothers Euron and Victorion, all just went home and continued with their lives.  They burned the Lannister fleet at Lannisport, which is the third biggest city in Westeros, and probably took their fair share of plunder.  No wonder he is rebelling again, the first time they fought a more united realm, with better warriors, and they didn't really lose anything.

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Meet season 4's new Mountain. 

 

9da0b044f8e3018b17e594093c6e8f71.jpg

 

His (fucking awesome) name is Halfthor Julius Bjornsson. 

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I hate the rotating Mountain thing, but the 2nd dude was not Mountain-y at all.

 

This dude however.

curb_pretty_good_black_shirt.jpg

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I can't even remember the second actor doing anything. I remember one scene with him (very lazily) glaring at Arya at Harrenhal, but that's it.

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We found our winner and surprise 30th entrant in the Andre Battle Royal. 

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Meet season 4's new Mountain. 

 

9da0b044f8e3018b17e594093c6e8f71.jpg

 

His (fucking awesome) name is Halfthor Julius Bjornsson. 

 

Fuck the British actor rule.  This guy need to be The Executioner in Thor 3.

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BEAR MODE.

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That final scene in the tavern was some straight Outlaw Josey Wales shit..  

 

Great start to the season.

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LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Solid opener with Jammer and Tywin. Jamie can be such a little bitch too. When he said something about "Casterly Rock was your place dad" I wanted a dramatic close up of him yelling "I DON'T WANT. YOUR LIFE."

 

I don't know how to spell the new guy's name but it sounded like Oberon King of the Fucking Faeries. And I love him. It was just about the best intro to a new character since the show started. Him stabbing that dude in the wrist was Joker quality nasty. And I loved his chat with Tyrion. So Dany has a man on the inside. This is good. Very fucking good. 

 

NEW BANGO TANGO DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A BANGO TANGO WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THIS. And the other guy is way too skinny to be a badass. To think we went from Khal Drogo to these jabronies. Where have all the cowboys gone?

 

Tyrion's woman is done. Adios.

 

We got more interaction with Big Gal and Jamie, but sadly they're arguing about saving Sansa. Sansa the fucking Victim. Let's just lay around and feel sorry for ourselves when we should be plotting a way to knife Joffrey in the throat, because he's sleeping just down the fucking hallway. She needs to get jihadi up in this mother.

 

And the main event was boss as hell, with Arya doin the thing yeah yeah yeah and getting a pony. Ned Stark only had one son and her name is Arya Awesome Pants.

 

The Hound just moved up a level with the first ca-hunts line, followed by the "eat all the chickens up in this bitch" line.

 

Great start.

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They really needed to give that blacksmith a line where he says something like, "Oh, thanks, Tywin. Now my workshop is going to smell like fucking burnt wolf hair for a month."

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Oberyn Martell is a prince of Dorne who is nicknamed The Red Viper, based mostly on his reputation for being a problem that you don't want.  Stabbing a guy in the wrist for singing the song of his lords is just a day in the life of Oberyn.  He is a bad ass, and gives less fucks than Carlito at the Hall of Fame induction.  Oberyn also spent some time studying to be a Maester, those doctor/teacher guys, but decided to leave after growing bored.  Oberyn is well traveled, and even founded a mercenary company who he took to the Free Cities where he is rumored to have learned dark arts.  He is a loving father of his eight daughters and was very close to his sister Elia as a child.

 

Dorne is the southernmost kingdom of The Seven Kingdoms and they have their own customs that set them apart from everyone else.  They are the only kingdom that wasn't conquered by Aegon Targaryen, they only bent the knee after a marriage pact made by Baelor the Blessed after about 150 years of the Targaryen rule.  The culture of Dorne is often looked upon as inferior to the rest of the other kingdoms.  First of all, women can inherit in Dorne.  They are more open with their sexual lives, the whole brothel scene kind of eluded to it not only with Oberyn and Ellaria picking whores, but the Lannister men trying to insult them by saying they fuck goats.  They don't look at sex like it is something taboo, and the six other kingdoms seem to disagree.  Being that they like to have so much sex, they are a lot of bastards running around.  Unlike the other kingdoms, the Dornish don't really hold being a bastard against people.  Dornish bastards are named Sand, and Oberyn has eight bastard daughters that are known as the Sand Snakes.  The Lord of Dorne is Prince Doran Martell, who is The Red Viper's older brother.

 

The group of Wildlings who met up with Tormund and Ygritte were Thenns.  The Thenn's look at their leader, called a Magnar, as a god.  They follow their Magnar with absolute obedience, and are generally looked at as the most disciplined fighters of the Free Folk.  They mine ore, forge weapons, and along with being fierce and disciplined, they are also the best equipped group north of The Wall.  Basically they are basically a well trained, well equipped, army that will die for their Magnar without question...and now they're eating people.

 

Arthur Dayne was mentioned by Joffrey while looking in the Book of Brothers, and he is a pretty interesting guy.  Arthur Dayne was a legendary Knight of the Kingsguard, and The Sword of the Morning.  The Sword of the Morning is an office given to a member of House Dayne who is deemed worthy of carrying the greatsword Dawn.  If no one is deemed worthy the office is vacant, no one has held the office since he died.  Arthur Dayne knighted Jaime Lannister and was killed by Eddard "Ned" Stark.  After he killed Dayne, Ned rode directly to Starfall, the home of the Dayne's, to return his sword to Arthur Dayne's sister Ashara.  Arthur Dayne was considered the deadliest of the Kingsguard, and was respected absolutely by Jaime Lannister, Ned Stark, Barriston Selmy, Viserys Targaryen, and basically everyone else who has ever mentioned him.  When Bra asked his father who is the greatest knight ever Ned responded by saying, "The finest knight I ever saw was Ser Arthur Dayne, who fought with a blade called Dawn, forged from the heart of a fallen star. They called him the Sword of the Morning, and he would have killed me but for Howland Reed"

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Supreme, you've earned this sig with such an awesome post.

 

starship-troopers-o.gif

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Look. I don't want to seem unappreciative or anything....but I don't even listen to my wife when she chirps up with all that noise.

 

BLOCKED.

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The premiere really was masterful. Weis & Benioff are in total command of this story. Probably even moreso than Martin, at this point.

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If people wanted to read that much about Game Of Thrones they'd actually read the books.

 

Also, Jae, you're probably my favorite Game Of Thrones Episode Recap Author. 

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Has anyone been watching Gay of Thrones on funnyordie? I think I look forward to that recap more than watching the show.

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Finally saw this! I was so screwed this past weekend with so much awesome wrestling. Anyway, The Hound was fucking boss hog in that shit. I'm loving this mixed tag.

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Finally saw this! I was so screwed this past weekend with so much awesome wrestling. Anyway, The Hound was fucking boss hog in that shit. I'm loving this mixed tag.

 

I can't believe no cable show has booked The hound and Bronn to have a "best use of the word cunt off."

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It turns out after years of taunting you, my life cycle has become bound to Carlos Marmol.  It looked rough there for awhile, but yesterday earned me a little time.

 

I always knew this was a risk.  But I regret nothing.

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