Games of Thrones Unsullied thread

[Raziel]

2 minutes ago, West Newbury Bad Boy said:

I'll use a spoiler tag just in case you want the show to surprise you during your rewatch.

  Reveal hidden contents

Jon Arryn's was murdered by Lysa and Littlefinger, not Jaime and Cersei. 

 

Spoiler

Fuck, I totally forgot about that.  See, this is why I needed to rewatch before the last season.

 

[Mike Campbell]

21 hours ago, OSJ said:

Lord Petyr Baelish - I mean just look at the guy... Look at him... Is that or is that not the most punchable face this side of Kid Rock? He doesn't even have to actually say or do anything and you know he's a cunt.

The wife and I watched the King Arthur film with Charlie Hunnam. The actor who plays Petyr is one of his allies, and it's almost impossible to take him seriously as a good guy.

[AxB]

2 hours ago, Mike Campbell said:

The wife and I watched the King Arthur film with Charlie Hunnam. The actor who plays Petyr is one of his allies, and it's almost impossible to take him seriously as a good guy.

That wasn't the first time Charlie Hunnam and Aiden Gillen worked together, this was (nb: If this video was longer than 68 seconds, it would be NSFW, but it's not so it isn't

 

[AxB]

3 hours ago, Raziel said:

The biggest thing I'm finding going back to a rewatch and having knowledge of where the story ends up, I remember we all thought that the starting point of the snowball that threw Westeros into chaos was Ned agreeing to go to King's Landing or Jamie and Cersei deciding that poisoning Jon Arryn was a good idea, but no, the entire story sets in motion the second Rhygar lays eyes on Lysanna.  Everything else rolls off of that point.  The machnications of the story we read/watched were set in motion 17 years before the story takes place.  That's pretty neat.

The most intruiging character in the show is the one who's only appeared in a brief flashback. Rhaegar Targaryen is actually even more fascinating in the books than the show makes him look.

[J.H.]

I still think Aiden Gillen should've been Doctor Strange

James

[Ultimo Necro]

I'm also rewatching at the moment and noticed Oberyn is Javier Pena from Narcos.

 How did I never notice this while binge watching Narcos? Dude is excellent.

[John from Cincinnati]

When Oberyn showed up in Storm of Swords, I had such high hopes. Alas. 

[John from Cincinnati]

Season 1, Episode 6: A Golden Crown

Lysa Arryn is a monster and an awful parent and thank goodness Tyrion and Bronn are free from her madness by the end of this one. I don't think I could stand to watch an entire series with her appearing in most episodes. Run away, Catelyn. Run far, far away.

Wildlings taking Bran hostage is bad guy stuff. But they're quickly dispatched with and don't leave the lasting taste in my mouth that Lysa does. Yuck!

Word reaches King's Landing that the Mountain is attacking villages in the riverlands, presumably on orders from Tywin. I'll say that kind of large scale violence put both Gregor and his lord ahead of Lysa.

Before Viserys departs this moral coil, he makes one last bid for MVP by threatening to cut Dany's child out of her. A strong showing, but not strong enough to top the lions attacking civilians in yet another escalation of the Stark-Lannister conflict.

So our MVP this week will be Tywin, who has yet to appear on screen. The richest man in all the land looms large!

MVP: Tywin Lannister

Season 1, Episode 7: You Win or You Die

Tywin comes out of the gate hot in his first on screen appearance, chewing Jaime out and making a full-grown lion look like vulnerable little cub. He orders Jaime to take Riverrun, which rubs me the wrong way. Tywin seems to be the only person aware there's a war on at this point, so his aggression earns him Vile Person points.

Theon's finally starting to establish himself as a little shit who deserves some notice in these reviews, here harassing Osha. Not sure if we yet have a crime punishable by dick chopping, but I'm sure he'll get there. You're on my radar, Theon!

I can't even remember the name of the dude with the wine who tries to kills Dany. I'll hold Robert and Varys responsible for his transgressions. Robert expresses regret for this on his death bed, but fuck him anyway.

Empty-headed Renly feeling he should be king gets a big no from me. It's selfish and it'll only serve to tear apart the alliance which should be forming around Stannis.

Of course the big baddie this week is Littlefinger, who betrays sweet, virtuous, lunkheaded Ned. Never trust a man who's prone to literal mustache twirling!

MVP: Petyr Baelish

Season 1, Episode 8: The Pointy End

We've got some minor contenders here in Lysa refusing to call her troops to the aid of the Starks and the Dothraki sacking a village. But it's all the Lannisters this week, as their actions in King's Landing cause Robb to finally call Winterfell's banners and march for what is now a very real war.

And if we're crediting Lannisters, it's got to be one of the big two still in King's Landing and acting on their own: Cersei and Joffrey. With Sansa and Ned in their custody, Cersei forces Sansa to send a letter north which inflames tensions. Sansa then pleads for her father's life in front of Joffrey's court. At this point, it seems like Cersei is pulling the strings on all the big movies.

MVP: Cersei Lannister

Season 1, Episode 9: Baelor

It's Joffrey this week and there's no other contender. Tywin's cruelty towards Tyrion comes into clearer view here, but Joffrey calling an audible on Ned's head throws away any last chance the realm may have of seeing a quick end to this war. This sends things well beyond the point of no return. Blessedly this is fiction and no real world would ever be prone to such needlessly counterproductive shows of strength...

MVP: Joffrey Baratheon 

Season 1, Episode 10: Fire and Blood

The witch who cursed the Khal makes a strong case for herself here, revealing her deception to Dany and causing the Stormborn to hill her now-beloved husband. But again, it's all Joffrey here. The boy king's gloves are off and he's madly drunk with power. Here, he orders a bard's tongue be removed, shows Sansa her father's head on a spike, and orders a member of his kinggaurd to slap his betrothed. 

MVP:  Joffrey Baratheon

Overall Standings:

• 1. Tie: Viserys Targaryen, Joffery Baratheon (3)
• 2. Tie: Jaime Lannister, Tywin Lannister, Petyr Baelish, Cersei Lannister (1)

Season 1 Standings:

• 1. Tie: Viserys Targaryen, Joffery Baratheon (3)
• 2. Tie: Jaime Lannister, Tywin Lannister, Petyr Baelish, Cersei Lannister (1)

Well played by Joffrey, making a strong case for himself at the end of the season. Nice to see someone remain competitive with Viserys' strong first half. And Joffery was kind enough to be so decisively evil at the end that it made entertaining the transgressions of others almost pointless. 

[Raziel]

Cat was an idiot, and Ned was too fucking honorable for his own good.  He should've listened to Littlefinger.

 

Why yes, I did just watch Episode 7.

[Raziel]

So, I'm going to set bets for when Newbury starts reviewing Season 2 how many episodes in a row Joffery wins MVP, since with Episode 1 alone might set him for the entire season.

 

It's also disturbing in this show just how many people get off on being complete pieces of shit.

[John from Cincinnati]

Season 2, Episode 1: The North Remembers

I think dark magic is probably bad. I'm super skeptical of Melisandre's methods. But I think it's a little early in the game to slip her a lethal mickey. Poor form, guy in Stannis' small council whose name I've already forgotten.

I that Theon was being sent off to see his family for a minute. He's definitely got some MVP awards coming his way.

Craster's parenting makes Lysa Arryn look like the Taylors in Friday Night Lights. 

But the biggest sin this week is the systematic killing of Robert's bastards. Since I saw in the next episode who ordered the hits, our big winner this week is...

MVP: Joffrey Baratheon

 Season 2, Episode 2: The Night Lands

Melisandre is again in the periphery of my radar this week. Seducing a married monarch so he'll carry out your game plan is not the king of behaviour I encourage.

Varys threatens to reveal that Tyrion has Shae stashed away, but it seems more like a love tap than an actual threat. I probably trust Varys' muddied motivations a little too much. 

No, Theon. Just because you're famous, doesn't mean you're allowed to just grab 'em by the pussy. Ew. Double ew for not even asking her name or realizing she's your sister. Gross.

Balon's a moron whose desire for power is going to cause even more needless death. That's a pretty big party foul. Didn't he learn during his last rebellion that the Iron Islands lack the strength to make moves like this work?

But this week closes with our biggest sin: Craster giving one of his babies to the White Walkers. I'm not sure how strongly I feel about this pick. Life north of the wall is rough and no doubt comes with some sacrifices. But this one is too much for my weak stomach.

MVP: Craster

Overall Standings:

• 1. Joffrey Baratheon (4)
• 2. Viserys Targaryen (3)
• 3. Tie: Jaime Lannister, Tywin Lannister, Petyr Baelish, Cersei Lannister, Craster (1)

Season Standings:

• Tie: Joffrey Baratheon, Craster (1)

A lack of Joffrey in The Night Lands really hurt @Raziel's hope for a streak. But I remember enough notable Joffrey shittiness coming up that he'll likely own the sole number one slot this season. 

[Raziel]

I've come to the conclusion that there are only 3 smart people the entire series.  Everyone else is either dumb, or so far up their own ass they can't possibly make an intelligent decision.

[John from Cincinnati]

12 minutes ago, Raziel said:

I've come to the conclusion that there are only 3 smart people the entire series.  Everyone else is either dumb, or so far up their own ass they can't possibly make an intelligent decision.

I’m gonna guess... Tyrion, Varys, and Tywin? 

[Raziel]

That's pretty accurate.  Davos would be a close 4th

[odessasteps]

The Night King. Or are we only counting living people?

[Raziel]

Ok, so 4.

[ChesterCopperpot]

Season 8 teaser trailer - not a lot in there 

 

[Raziel]

When I said Joffery should win MVP for most of Season 2, and man, does he go all in for in in Episode 4, I forgot everything about Harrenhal.  Damn.

[OSJ]

For all those who are saying Stannis is the rightful king and a good dude, miss out on the fact that he's doing some really heinous shit at Melisandre's behest, burning people alive so she can read the flames. It's just happening off camera so we don't see that Stannis is really a pretty awful person (though truthfully he'd make a better king than Robert was and certainly better than Renly, who is a pleasant man without an original thought in his head. )

Renly as king would be a fucking disaster after about a year of him exhausting the treasury and going far into debt giving lavish parties for the commoners and in general acting like a tax and spend liberal of the very worst sort.  Stannis is a serious and basically unpleasant bastard who would make a perfect king. Anything's better than Joffrey, but Tommen isn't really much of an improvement despite being a basically decent kid who wants to rule well but has the deck stacked against him as long as his mom is hanging around. 

[Raziel]

Honestly, the best people to lead would've been Ned, then Jon, then Tyrion.  The best rulers are the ones that don't want it in the first place.  Ned was too damn honorable though and unwilling to enter the shades of gray that the realm needed.  Jon's more willing to cross the line, but he has mostly the same problem.  Tyrion can both play the game, and actually cares.

 

Everyone else have basically been the equivalent of rats fighting over a piece of cheese in a box, and a boulder happens to be headed right for it.  Sadly, I'd guess that Jon ends up biting it taking out the Night King in some heroic fashion, and unless the quick cutaway from the conversation between Tyrion and Cersei when he realized she was pregnant was a red herring, I'd wager that Tyrion turned on the sly in favor of his unborn niece/nephew being left standing to clean up everyone else's mess.

[cwoy2j]

Olenna Tyrell was pretty smart. I'd put Roose in the smart category although he made a pretty big tactical error by underestimating just how insane Ramsay was.

[AxB]

7 hours ago, OSJ said:

For all those who are saying Stannis is the rightful king and a good dude, miss out on the fact that he's doing some really heinous shit at Melisandre's behest, burning people alive so she can read the flames. It's just happening off camera so we don't see that Stannis is really a pretty awful person (though truthfully he'd make a better king than Robert was and certainly better than Renly, who is a pleasant man without an original thought in his head. )

  Stannis is a serious and basically unpleasant bastard who would make a perfect king. Anything's better than Joffrey, but Tommen isn't really much of an improvement despite being a basically decent kid who wants to rule well but has the deck stacked against him as long as his mom is hanging around. 

You know how Tyrion is basically Shakespeare's Richard the Third, only as a sympathetic character rather than a grotesque villain? Stannis is basically the actual historical Richard the Third, if you assume he actually was behind the whole Princes in the Tower thing. Which there's actually no real evidence for (there's no real evidence against it either).

As far as Tommen goes, book Tommen is very different to show Tommen. They aged him up dramatically for some reason (presumably so Margaery wouldn't look like a child molester) but then didn't have his extreme youth as a reason for his state of inertia and failure to actually, like... do anything. Actually a bit of a theme with characters who the show changes. They changed Doran Martell significantly, and he was of so little consequence they could have just written him out entirely.

[OSJ]

7 minutes ago, AxB said:

You know how Tyrion is basically Shakespeare's Richard the Third, only as a sympathetic character rather than a grotesque villain? Stannis is basically the actual historical Richard the Third, if you assume he actually was behind the whole Princes in the Tower thing. Which there's actually no real evidence for (there's no real evidence against it either).

As far as Tommen goes, book Tommen is very different to show Tommen. They aged him up dramatically for some reason (presumably so Margaery wouldn't look like a child molester) but then didn't have his extreme youth as a reason for his state of inertia and failure to actually, like... do anything. Actually a bit of a theme with characters who the show changes. They changed Doran Martell significantly, and he was of so little consequence they could have just written him out entirely.

Well, most of what we know of Richard the Third comes from unimpeachable sources who were all buddies with Henry Tudor, so excuse me if I cast a jaundiced eye at all the crimes attributed to him.  He certainly seemed like a reasonable choice for King absent the Princes who died/disappeared/whatever considering the mortality rate was about age 35 on the average, two pre-teens dieing prematurally doesn't necessarily make one cry "Foul play!" Of course it does if you want to be King and no valid claim whatsoever to the Throne. What did Tudor try to claim, that he was a descendent of Edward the II, who was as gay as a spring frock? Not bloody likely. 

You're right Doran Martell had little purpose on the show save to vex Elaria (which isn't a bad thing), and always nice to see Dr. Bashir back on my TV.  Tommen's whole purpose was to be the anti-Joffery and give a new meaning to King's Landing (if you know what I mean and I'm sure that you do...)

[AxB]

Back in 2004, there was some evidence discovered that Edward IV was actually illegitimate. Basically his father (the Black Prince) was off making war in France for six months, and six months after he got back, his wife gave birth. So either he was three months premature (he'd have died) , he was three months overdue (his mother would have died) or the Black Prince wasn't his biological father*.

In which case, his younger brother choosing to disinherit his kids and take the Crown himself seems a little less unreasonable. Besides the whole self preservation aspect - had he been a loyal subject to his nephew, he'd still be seen as a potential threat to him. A potential threat that should probably be eliminated. So why not be an actual threat to him instead?

* Which might explain why Edward IV was 6'4" with light brown hair and blue eyes, yet his brother Richard III was 5'6" (probably 5'8" without scoliosis) with black hair and brown eyes.

[John from Cincinnati]

Season 2, Episode 3: What is Dead May Never Die

Is it wise to be hosting tournaments in the middle of a war effort? Renly is just awful. Only loves the trappings of power and is empty-headed enough to drag people to war over it.

Love the game Tyrion runs on the small council goon squad to see who he can't trust. He's just the best.

Theon deciding not to warn Robb about Balon's coming assault might be the worst thing to happen in an episode light on MVP candidates. 

The needless assault on Arya, Gendry, and the rest of the prisoner train at the end of the episode is at the behest of some Lannister sitting at Harrenhal... So I guess... *shrug*

MVP: Tywin Lannister?

Season 2, Episode 4: Garden of Bones

This Roose Bolton guy doesn't seem overly concerned with the humane treatment of prisoners of war. I wonder if that's going to come up again later.

Speaking of poor treatment of prisoners, the Mountain's men sure like torturing people. Luckily, Tywin is there to put a stop to the barbarity and remind his people about the value of slave labour.

Littlefinger sure is interested in what goes on in Renly and Margaery's wedding bed. Settle down, Hollywood Petyrnetico. 

The 13 of Qarth keep the mistreatment of the vulnerable rolling as 12 of them elect to let Dany's starving entourage perish in the titular dessert. 

The episode again ends with our big MVP moment, as Stannis' plan to use dark magic to assassinate Renly finally starts coming to pass. Come on, dude... I wanted to like you...

MVP: Stannis Baratheon

Season 2, Episode 5: The Ghost of Harrenhal

Now I'm in the weeds ethically. How much should I hold it against Arya that she's ordering cruel Lannister men killed to increase the quality of life of the prisoners? How much should I hold it against the Braavosi for paying his debts? Hard questions, these.

I guess I'll give it to Stannis again, since the actual assassination-by-shadowman takes place during this episode's opening minutes.

MVP: Stannis Baratheon

Overall Standings

• 1. Joffrey Baratheon (4)
• 2. Viserys Targaryen (3)
• 3. Tywin Lannister, Stannis Baratheon (2)
• 3. Tie: Jaime Lannister,, Petyr Baelish, Cersei Lannister, Craster (1)

Season Standings:

• 1. Stannis Baratheon (2)
• Tie: Joffrey Baratheon, Tywin Lannister, Craster (1)

This is already hurting. I used to be ride or die for Team Stannis. But this makes me feel dirty.